


Volume One: Invictus [UPDATED WRITER'S PREFERRED EDITION]

by the_never_was



Series: Athena [1]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Action & Romance, Action/Adventure, Adventure, Adventure & Romance, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Other, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, canon and non-canon events
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-19 06:50:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 102,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22573645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_never_was/pseuds/the_never_was
Summary: One fucked up mission leads to the greatest career change of her life, but deep down all she wants is to fall for her turian best friend.[Welcome to the now updated canon edition of the Athena Series' Volume One.]
Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian, One-sided Chellick Crush, One-sided Kaidan Alenko Crush, Shakarian
Series: Athena [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/822630
Comments: 10
Kudos: 49





	1. Part 1: Chapters 1-14

**Author's Note:**

> Surprise! 
> 
> Happy late holidays and a happy birthday/unbirthday to you!
> 
> While waiting on Vol 2.5 to update, consider giving this a read.
> 
> So much of the time I've been quiet and scribbling away on Vol 2.5 and Vol 3, I decided going back through in checking somethings that I really was unsatisfied using the 2014 edition of Vol 1. As it serves as introduction for new and already acquainted readers alike to dive into this novelization playthrough with Athena, it should be solid from the get go. As such, I've spent months working on this updated edition which will serve as the now "canon" first volume. This is to enhance the flow and readability through the rest of the series due to my desires of wanting to apply writing skills I've learned since 2014 to this work, and thus make the series as it's being edited and still freshly written to be coherent and congruent. 
> 
> In this updated version you will find minor changes, like word choices or syntax change, rearrangement of some dialogue, and some over all cleaned up original scenes for much better flow and style. You'll also find a couple big changes, not series breaking, but large changes all the same, including a rediscovered scene now fitted within the story over the Cerberus introduction in ME1. You'll also find the romance arc is clear. Very. With a head of tropes stuck trying to figure out natural rhythm in their complicated situation, it had gotten quite muddied and turned into a bit of a kerfuffle I didn't enjoy. Now the arc's clear: how their feelings evolve is shown, how they accept it is presented better, and their decision to clearly start exploring the space between their changing relationship is experienced before what we ultimately know will happen. This just makes it a thousand times more readable, understandable, relatable, and fit in line with the Vol 2 romance arc resuming as it does. All I did was clean the original text of Vol 1 with these changes, not entirely rewrite it from scratch. So it's never going to be completely brand new, but it sure feels like it now!
> 
> With all this updating, though, there will be a minor paragraph or two scrubbed cleaner in Vol 2 so that it lines up fine. This will be noted in that spot in Vol 2 with an asterisk and end note for honesty's sake. This affects literally nothing but a tiny moment in a scene of flashback/discussion between Garrus and Joker's "talk" in Vol 2. Yes, that talk. 
> 
> However, I know the value of honesty and integrity and the trust readers place in writers, and so I am leaving up the old version as proof that I'm not going to George Lucas-style force an attempted memory wipe on you and disregard what I've done. The old version was a massive accomplishment to finish in 2014, the first novelization I'd ever attempted. With all its mistakes and struggles, it still has core that is kept strong throughout this update, and it's still significant to me, even if I cringed a bit rereading it. I hope it serves as example to other fanfic writers that updating can really be worth it, like going back to redraw an art piece from years past.
> 
> Please give this updated version a chance. I promise it's worth your time for the last chapters alone.
> 
> Apologies, but it will be divided into three "chapter" uploads just for space sake since I couldn't get it to upload a GIANT of a book in one site "chapter." I've no reason to further break it up into multiple chapter uploads with everything done and not serialized, and I also have to consider other fandoms I write for; they don't need even more clogging of the inbox accidentally. So congrats. You get a wonderful update of the first volume, and you get it all _right now_.
> 
> So enjoy! And happy scrolling.
> 
> All the best,
> 
> [the_never_was]
> 
> \------
> 
> Fic Series from 2014-15, additional writing for gaps like Vol 2.5 (originally unplanned) from 2016-18.  
> Mass Effect owned by Bioware, EA.  
> Thanks for letting us play our own stories in your world.

**ATHENA**

**VOLUME ONE: INVICTUS**  
(UPDATED WRITER'S PREFERRED EDITION)  
  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER ONE: AKUZE (PROLOGUE)**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The small formidable form was tiring. Hunkered down behind the destroyed Mako vehicle, the woman tried to quell her heart rate and breathing as the ground shook. She took a breath inside of her helmet, the N7 armor covering her chest heaving with it. Prepared, she turned to shoot the monster coming for her.

When the ground erupted and the deafening scream screeched into her comm, Athena Shepard spun out and fired rapidly at the thresher maw. It was massive, a 25 meter subterranean carnivorous worm writhing up above the surface, its shorter tarsi and long tongue-like appendage squirming. All of her shots were on target, and the already weakened maw screamed once more before somehow elegantly twisting to dart back down into the sand. Thankfully it hadn’t spit acid at her before it returned to tunneling.

“This is Shepard, is there anyone else out there?” Angry, afraid, she yelled for help on any channels her comm would pick up. “My unit’s down, I repeat, my unit is down!”

At the radio's continued silence, she glanced around at the broken bodies near her and back to the other less damaged Mako as the ground started to rumble once more. And that was when Shepard had an idea. Quickly, she dropped to her stomach, pistol in hand, and crawled to the hatch of the vehicle. Since it had flipped, she would be able to enter it from a different angle than usual. Shepard took several deep breaths as the ground quaked near her—the maw was on the prowl, sensing for any surface disturbances, its mobility and speed a thousand times deadlier below ground than above it. Shepard awkwardly angled herself toward the turret controls inside the barely working Mako.

“Now or never. _Now or never_.” Shepard swallowed, made her decision, then pressed the buttons; she heard the turret shoot, peppering the ground diagonally to the right.  
  
The maw rumbled below the ground, and even inside the broken down vehicle Shepard could feel everything shake as it broke through, towering high into the air and shrieking. Shepard hoped with the skewed and flipped angles that her aim was true as she hovered her finger over the missile launcher buttons on the flickering console. She took two breaths, pressed the buttons, and waited.  
  
Explosions and screams pierced her comms and audio feed. She waited again, feeling the Mako rumbling around her as the maw thrashed back and forth in pain before it finally dropped to the sand, its ground breaking impact causing Shepard to bounce upward in the flipped vehicle and smash her head.  
  
She groaned loudly at the immediate headache and neck pain, her helmet feeling even heavier with it, but then she stilled, her hand on her pistol. It had gotten very, very quiet out there.

Slowly, Shepard backtracked her movements to get out of the steaming Mako. There, not thirty yards in front of her, lay the still maw on its long side. Shepard stood in silence, giving it one last chance to betray her as it had her squad before it had surged up from below the ground and killed most of them in a single sweep with its heavy body and acid. When it didn’t move, she walked with precise, weighted steps, ones that hinted at her rage. Shepard stepped right over to its head and put several rounds into the maw, screaming with each successive shot.

“Commander? Is anyone there?”

Shepard stopped shooting the dead animal and checked her audio. “Shepard here, I read you. Come back.”

“Roger, Commander. Shuttle inbound for pick up; will route you and the squad to the nearest Alliance frigate. Hold position.”

“My unit was decimated. It’s...just me. Over.”

The voice on the other end didn’t reply, leaving her listening to heavy static for several moments. Then, finally, “Copy. Understood Commander. En route.”

Shepard took her hand from her helmet and rolled her shoulders, trying to keep composure as she looked at the carnage all around her. With a heavy heart, the young Commander Shepard began collecting the bodies of her fallen comrades.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER TWO: SOLE SURVIVOR  
  
  
  
**  
  


Shepard sat in the frigate’s medbay, her head pounding. She had lucked out, even in all this mess—the dreadnought _SSV Kilimanjaro_ was the one on which her mother, Hannah Shepard, was currently the XO. Because of their extra guest, they would be traveling to get back to Alliance Command on Earth. Her mother, of course, immediately went to help Shepard sit and get her wounds dressed by the doctor on board. They were waiting to dock with another ship housing a nearby admiral to debrief with Shepard about Akuze.  
  
“I need to assess the damage to your neck, Commander. The way you hold your head worries me trauma put heavy stress on some vertebrae,” the male doctor spoke, his hands immediately moving to inspect her. She felt his fingers gently pressing and testing swelled areas, knew he watched for her winces in response. “Lots of stress,” he murmured. “You need to rest a while. Don’t turn your head too fast, and don’t lean over an omni-tool, so if you need to use it, bring it up to your face. No stress on your neck for a week, Commander. You'll be using a brace.”

“Yes, Doc.”

He gave her a small injection of painkillers, wrapped the brace carefully around her neck.

Her mom eyeballed the injuries as much as she did her daughter's tired gaze. “Athena....”

“I’m fine, Mom.” Shepard bit back the loud groan building in her as the doctor applied medigel to the burn on her leg. She had only gotten the very edge of the spit that the maw had initially launched toward the ones who had survived the attacks on the Makos.

Hannah sighed. She looked down at her daughter, noting once more the similarities between the young woman and her deceased father. She reflected how Athena’s deep red hair shone like Alex’s had, how her green eyes squinted in determination the same way. The only traits her daughter took from her were Hannah’s freckles and lips. Athena had even been born with her father’s straight nose.

Bending, Hannah brushed a soft hand over Shepard’s head. “Okay, hon.”

“There you are, Shepard,” a voice boomed as its owner stepped into the medbay. Both Shepards looked up at the middle-aged man in the admiral uniform. The hat sat level on his dark head, his brown eyes sharp. The tiniest glint of humor lit in his eyes as both women waited to discover which Shepard he had meant. He glanced to Athena with a nod of confirmation. “I am Admiral Drake, Commander. I’m expecting a report on just what the hell happened on Akuze.”

Shepard realized that while they had both turned attention to the admiral, her mother had stood to salute him as he stepped in, something Shepard herself had not done as she sat feeling her head and neck pound in unison. She hopped off the bed, weaved for a second, then saluted him; he returned the salute. Quickly his eyes settled on Hannah. “Major, I’d like to speak with Commander Shepard in private.”

“Of course, Admiral,” Hannah nodded, squeezing her daughter’s shoulder. The doctor followed her out of the medbay, sealing the doors behind them.

“Commander, you and your unit were sent to investigate a disturbance, correct?”

Shepard steeled herself as her head continued to pound. “Yes. Alliance networks had asked my team to look into the situation involving some sort of beacon. Couldn’t find anything at first.”

“So how did you lose your entire unit?” Admiral Drake gave her a curt nod, but she was able to recognize it as one of approval. “Not that I’m ungrateful you’re alive, Commander. You took down that maw.”

“When we arrived the settlement was empty. No survivors.” Shepard sighed. “We moved to camp for the night and keep investigating. Drove the Mako out.”  
  
“And then?”  
  
“And then that’s when the ground shook,” she answered, swallowing exhaustedly. “We had no idea it was a nest—that any of the buildings or this beacon were set up near a nest. The maw acid-blasted one Mako to hell, flipped another, and those of us tossed who survived were then either smashed beneath the worm when it flailed and dove back underground or were burned through by the acid spit. People were there one second and then just gone, it happened so fast, Admiral.”

“And how did you survive this, Commander?”  
  
The admiral watched her closely.  
  
She understood. The Alliance had had its secret share of command mishaps from unsuitable field commanders, and quite usually there were investigations concerning suspicion of priorities or AWOL behavior.

Shepard closed her eyes briefly. “When it had come up from underground, I had gotten thrown. The maw focused its attention on the gunfire from the three of us still alive. I tried to run back to them and got a bit of acid on my leg guards. One of my men, Cragley, took the brunt of the spit, knocking me out of the way. I got behind the trashed Mako to gather and ordered survivors to meet me for regroup. None did, so I reacted.”

He nodded, brown eyes intense. “And then you killed it.”

“Yes, Sir. I realized that it waited for ground disturbances, like the Mako's weight movements and the soldiers’ shooting. So I got my ass back into the other flipped vehicle, distracted the maw with the turret to get its attention, and fired two rockets at it. Miracle the plan even worked, given the state the Mako was in since the attack,” she stated, her voice drained. “Put another nine shots or more in its skull after that with my pistol.”

The admiral stared at her for a couple of minutes, thinking to himself. “Anything else, Commander?”

“Permission to speak freely, Sir?”

“Granted.”

She stared him in the eye, her green to his brown. Unflinching. Undeterred by rank. “That felt like a set up. Not Alliance, but something, someone else.... My gut tells me that perfect spot, the missing people when we didn’t find anything around...someone knew about that maw’s nest and didn’t report it. A decoy beacon, so to speak.”

Instead of telling her that was a hell of an accusation to make, Admiral Drake merely nodded, clearly satisfied with something. “All right, Commander. You’ve done all you can. Just sit tight, recuperate, and I’ll have further orders for you soon.”

“A-About my unit, Sir. I saved their tags and tried to collect what bodies I could near me. I’ll write the letters for the families.”

“I know. Retrieval is being taken care of, Commander. You did all you could, like I said. Now take a moment to heal.” He saluted her, which she returned, and spun on his heel, exiting the medbay and leaving her sitting silently. He paused, head turning briefly to look at her over his shoulder as he left. “Word of wisdom? Whether you want it to or not, Shepard...this is gonna be a career-maker.”  
  
And then he was gone.

Shepard sighed as she sat back down onto the bed she'd previously occupied. Without any witnesses nearby, she allowed herself moments of pain and grief. Face in her hands, shaking, she angrily sobbed, mourning the loss of her unit...her subordinates, friends, _people_ that had trusted her and grown with her. “I failed you,” she whispered. “I’m sorry.”

The echo of footsteps told her that her mother had returned to the medbay. Shepard wiped her face and looked up as her mom, her unflinching personal hero, came back. “Admiral Drake accepted your brief, then?”

“Yes. Still have to write it up,” Shepard replied, allowing her mother to help her lay back on the bed. Her neck rested uncomfortably within the brace. She sighed and brought her palms to rest over her eyes.

Hannah looked down at her daughter, worried. “I know you’re internalizing blame, honey, but given the situation, you handled it like anybody would. You tried to reassemble, get them out of the way, and when it couldn’t be done, you finished the job on your own.”

“My entire unit, Mom.” Her palms didn’t move from her eyes.

“I know, Athena. I’ve lost people, too. It’s something that can happen when you have command, and each time it occurs it never gets easier. But it is never frequent. Not if you do your job right. Sometimes, sweetheart, fate just surprises you, and when that happens, you’re left with consequences.” Hannah carefully stroked Shepard’s head again, hoping to soothe her daughter.

Shepard didn’t reply for several minutes, causing Hannah’s brow to crease as she watched over her. Finally Shepard spoke. “I’ve got another six months before my term’s up. Maybe I should take the leave and...find something else. Before I hurt anyone else, you know?”

“Athena, don’t talk that way. You’re a _good_ commander. Until Akuze your unit had a hell of a streak going because of you.” Hannah moved her daughter’s hands from the green eyes. “You can do this, Athena.”

“I’m not you. I’m not Dad. What if I can’t?”

Hannah smiled. “Honey, you’re a natural leader. You’d go crazy working behind a desk.”

Shepard groaned, not even wanting to picture the image.

“Besides,” her mother continued, “you can’t let this pain take you down. Learn from it and conquer it.”

Shepard cracked an eye open when her mother’s voice grew serious. “Yes, ma’am,” she murmured.

“That’s better. Now try to rest. Drake and the others will figure out what to do.” Hannah moved to step away so Shepard could sleep, but was caught by Shepard’s hand on her wrist. “Athena?”

“Would he be disappointed, Mom?”

Hannah turned, smiling. “Of course not. He’d be sad that you’re sad, he’d tell you how to deal with it, and he’d be jealous that his daughter took down a thresher maw with a broken-to-hell Mako.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“Anytime.”  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER THREE: REASSIGNED**

  
  
  
  
  
  
She couldn’t believe what she was hearing, but there it was again, blasting over the Alliance News Network: _Commander Shepard, sole heroic survivor of Akuze._

Her jaw went slack with shock before her expression changed to fury. “Son of a bitch!”

Shepard sat in the waiting room, unable to take her eyes off the holo screens showing footage of the nest site and smoking Makos. Though it had taken her some decent time to get back to Earth, she was still surprised the story had come out so fast—and so wrong. She was no hero; she just happened to have survived a horrible event. If anything, she thought she had failed. Her fists balled at her sides.

“So I took out a fucking maw. Damn worm deserved it for what it did to my people,” she bitched, wishing she could turn the stupid news off. “Being thrown out of the way by one of your subordinates before you can do anything about it _isn’t_ heroic. Neither is watching said subordinate take an acid blast and immediately go down next to you. Should have been me, damn it. Fucking hell, Cragley.”

Fuming, Shepard had no idea that the people she was waiting to meet were watching her through a set of windows in an adjoining room. The three men gauged her reaction, murmuring at the anger set in her face.

“She’s unhappy about it coming out. What’s she hiding?” One voice spoke up, a light clipped accent attached to it.

Another deeper one responded. “She’s hiding nothing. She doesn’t think she’s a hero. She just lived through it, probably without desire to do so. Seeing it all glorified makes her angry.”

“As it should,” a third voice agreed; it was also deep, but it carried a gravely undertone to it that spoke of age and wisdom.

The owner of the first voice, humanity's Ambassador Udina to the galactic Council, turned to face the other two, Captain Anderson and Admiral Hackett. “Well, then. What about Shepard? She’s a born and bred spacer. She knows ships and can handle the extensive travel command.”

“Military service runs in the family, too, with both parents in the Alliance. Her mother, Major Hannah Shepard, is still active duty. Father Major Alex Shepard was KIA when defending some colonists against batarian slaver raids some years ago.”

“She saw her whole unit die on Akuze. She could have some damage,” Hackett began. “Not that I don’t agree with her expressions about the story. It would be hard to view herself that way.”

Anderson took a step forward. “Every soldier has scars, though, Admiral. You know that as well as I do. Shepard is a survivor, even if angry about being portrayed as heroic about it.”

“Yes, but is that the kind of person we want doing this? Protecting the galaxy?” Udina asked, hands gesturing. “Someone with a chip on their shoulder for their very success?”

“That’s the only kind of person who _can_ do it,” Anderson retorted. “You see someone with attitude, Ambassador, and I see someone compounding knowledge with each success and failure. Someone willing to think outside the box and work with changing parameters.”

Udina looked between both Alliance officers as each nodded quite firmly. Feeling little choice at this point, little more than a mouthpiece, he grumbled, hopeful despite its sound. “Fine.”

Hackett shifted in his stance hands behind his back. “We’ll debrief the Commander on what she needs to know for now and get her reassigned to Anderson’s ship.”

“Very well. Good luck to you both.” Udina bowed his head slightly and left the room, barely glancing past an intrigued Commander Shepard.

“Ah, Commander,” Anderson called from the doorway. She looked up, curious. “Please, come in.”

Shepard went to the door and saluted upon seeing the dark skinned Captain and pale, aged Admiral. “Captain Anderson. Admiral Hackett. Was that Ambassador Udina I just saw?”

“Yes,” Hackett answered, his sharp blue eyes on her as he held his hands behind his back.  
  
“He's supposed to be on the Citadel.”  
  
“He came to meet with us. Very briefly,” Hackett explained, unfazed by the directness of her response. “He's planet side once out of the year for a few days to meet with our governments and the Alliance. Tradition. Reminder not to stay disconnected from us all on the Citadel with holo-conferences.”

Anderson stepped forward. “Listen Commander, I’d first like to say I understand your feelings about Akuze. You’ll have to ignore the reporters. They’re just trying to keep morale up.”

“I know. It’s still bullshit.” Shepard’s eyes widened as she realized she’d spoken out and quickly covered herself with a quick _Sir_. The small surprising laugh from Hackett next to her made her relax somewhat. “I was told to be present in case I was needed for a meeting. I assume that’s why I’m here.”

“Yes, Shepard. We’ve got a big matter to discuss. A very important one,” Anderson replied. He took a stance by Hackett, though one slightly more relaxed than the Admiral’s.

Shepard nodded. “Reassignment?”  
  
“Commander, you’re being reassigned to the _SSV Normandy_ , Captain Anderson’s ship,” Admiral Hackett stated. “You’re going to Eden Prime.”

“Eden Prime, Sir? The colony?”

Anderson nodded in affirmation. “Yes, we’ve got some things to check out and would like you on the ship running command of ground teams.”

“Report to the _Normandy_ ’s docking bay by 0800 hours tomorrow. I’ll be in touch through the ship if need be,” Hackett said. He saluted them both and left the room, leaving Anderson and Shepard together.

Shepard eyed the Captain. “Sir?”

“Yes, Commander?”

“After Akuze.... Why would I be reassigned to something that seems...bigger?”  
  
“I guess brass wants a further analysis of your abilities. Commander, what happened on Akuze was unfortunate and horrible, I know, but what you were able to pull off by yourself afterward was smart and fast. Had the unit not been taken by surprise by that giant monster, they would have been fine. Any previous records indicate your talent for command and respect from units you’ve served with,” Anderson answered her honestly. “Besides, Shepard, you’re a space junkie. You’ll love the _Normandy_. She’s a... _unique_ design.”  
  
Curious, Shepard glanced away, her mother's words from the medbay fighting the uncertainty that her reassignment was the right step to take.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER FOUR: UNKNOWING CANDIDATE**

  
  


Anderson was right. She was simply _in love_ with the _Normandy_ ’s unique design, and she was further delighted to discover it was engineered by a group of humans _and_ turians. Though her parents had been in the Alliance during the issues with the turians, neither one had ever been xenophobic and racist. In fact, both told her it was wrong to be so; after all, the turians were reacting to a new species that was heavily armed, and the humans had done the same. Time would heal wounds.

Thus Shepard was raised to be curious about aliens.  
  
When she found time in the Academy, she read all she could about asari, salarians, turians, and even some texts about the krogan. Batarians she knew little of, other than what information the Alliance outlined for contact or anything her father ever imparted from missions he'd had around the aggressive, four-eyed race. The turians remained her favorite with culture relatable to her childhood, with military structure she could appreciate.  
  
Shepard was lucky, too, in that she was able to meet a non-hostile turian when she was very young, right at the end of the First Contact War. Alex and Hannah Shepard had helped save the life of an officer, working to get him care and showing him that humanity wasn’t all bad or bloodthirsty. During a time of great distrust between the peoples, there were few examples of peaceful exchange—and for one captured prisoner of war, a lone warrior later fighting for asylum from home in the wake of surrendered anger, it meant the difference between giving up and moving forward.  
  
Shepard remembered Caios Teyrnus’s burgundy facial markings over the pale plating of his face. He had explained to her that he was from a clan in northern Palaven; at one point his family had been part of a colony, a fact his markings reminded others of his kind. Delighted by the eager child, he had taught her some little cultural bits, explained what those weird “mouth-thingies” were, and was her first reason to appreciate the turians. Then, as she grew, Shepard had taken up sketching. A sketch of Caios still existed in her notebook. She learned to focus on the differences in anatomy, trying to get the angle of the faces right, the talons, and those strange three-fingered hands.

Lost for a moment in memory and amusement at the ship's overall design reminding her of a male turian's fringe, she left her bag in her footlocker and followed Anderson to his quarters. Shepard’s brows rose when she found a turian there, waiting. He had very dark reddish plates with bright white, intricate clan markings. Without realizing it, she smiled. He looked formidable, but handsome all the same.  
  
Not that any humans on board would appreciate either trait much.

“Commander Shepard, it’s nice to finally meet you. I’m Nihlus Kryik, a Spectre,” the turian said, tipping his head to the side in acknowledgment and turian greeting.

Shepard mimicked his move. “Nice to see a turian on board.”

The turian’s mandibles flared slightly in what she understood was a small smile. “That’s a first, Anderson,” he said, turning to the Captain.

Anderson moved past Shepard to look at them both. “Shepard’s unique. She’s rather fond of aliens.”

“My parents helped some POWs out in the Contact War,” Shepard explained, unwilling to bare more. She remembered being told that other turians had extreme differing opinions on turians captured or exiled. Even more extreme differing beliefs on what should be done about those who surrendered to humans. “Don't have to be human to deserve a salute, Sir.”

“Ah, well. At least there are people like you among the mass of driven humans.”

“Shepard, Nihlus will be accompanying us to Eden Prime,” Anderson stated. “I wanted you to be aware of him on the ship.”

“Understood, sir.”

Anderson gestured upward. “Go to the cockpit and check on Joker.”

“Yes, Captain,” Shepard said. She saluted Anderson, and when the Captain briefly looked down she did the same to the Spectre.

She caught Nihlus’s small grin of approval and turian salute as she left to find Joker, the pilot of the ship, in the cockpit. Joker’s voice announced over the Normandy’s comm: “The Arcturus Prime relay is in range. Initiating transmission sequence.”

She stepped up behind him, watching the pilot’s hands fly over the holographic interface. “Board's green. Approaching.”

Quickly Shepard looked out of the cockpit’s windows toward the relay. She had been through many of them in her life as a spacer kid, but it never ceased to amaze her when she looked at them. They were so _huge_.

“Hitting the relay in 3.”  
  
Two, one, she counted in her head, then rode the exhilarating gravitational pull through the relay.

Joker slid his hands over the interface, catching her attention as the _Normandy_ finished coming out of the relay. “Perfect, yet again.”

Shepard spied Nihlus coming from behind her to look around. “Well done,” he said. With a brief, almost imperceptible nod to Shepard, he turned and left the cockpit.

Joker waited until Nihlus had gotten past what he hoped was turian earshot before muttering, “I hate that guy.”

“Nihlus compliments you, so you hate him?” Alenko’s voice was full of irony as the LT quickly glanced at the pilot.

“Hey, I just got us halfway across the galaxy to hit a target smaller than your smallest bone. So yeah, well done!” Joker grumbled back to Alenko, trying to make his point. “It's patronizing. Besides, Spectres just feel like trouble. He makes me nervous. Call me paranoid, if you gotta.”

Alenko snorted from his station. “You are. The Council helped fund the ship, and they've got rights to send someone to check on it.”

“Yeah, that’s the story we're _told_. But only an idiot believes anything like that involving a Spectre and the Council on _our_ necks.”

Shepard, having had about enough of the pilot’s attitudes for the moment, said calmly behind him, “That’s enough. Sure, it seems odd, but leave Nihlus alone. Alenko’s right; he was only nice to you.”

Joker turned and glanced behind at her, slightly surprised by her firm tone. “Yes, Commander.”

“Joker, status,” Captain Anderson’s voice came through the navigation console.

“Just cleared, Captain,” Joker replied. “Stealth systems engaged, and everything's good.”

Shepard heard Anderson tell Joker to find a comm buoy before asking to have her meet him in the comm room for a debriefing. She sighed when the pilot had tried to “warn” the Captain of Nihlus returning that way and heard the Captain’s aggravated tones declaring the turian already present.  
  
“He's pissed,” Shepard murmured as she left the LT and pilot to snicker back and forth at each other about the Captain’s voice always sounding angry.

Before Shepard got to the comm room, she paused to speak with Doctor Chakwas and Jenkins standing in the CIC. Jenkins, a young private, told her more about Eden Prime, since he had grown up there. Beautiful indeed, he confirmed, a wonder to live upon. But it seemed the beauty of the human colony hadn't been enough to deter Jenkins from active traveling duty, from heroic musings and dreams. She and Chakwas both encouraged him to cool his overeager jets the more he flexed that particular muscle, and then Chakwas filled her in on what she knew of the Spectres.  
  
Admittedly, knowing about a group of Council-sponsored agents with almost zero accountability and unlimited access to resources made her nervous, sure. Spectres made everyone nervous.  
  
But Nihlus as a _turian_ did not arouse her suspicions they way he did others hiding racism behind Spectre distaste.  
  
Navigator Pressley earned her glare when she heard him murmur something derogatory about turians low behind her back. Pressley was among the group of humans conditioned from the war to be untrusting of aliens, the turians in particular. Not only did the man believe Nihlus to be dangerous on the ship for just what he was, he suspected Nihlus to be a problem and a negative influence as to what was really going on. Instigative behind scenes where, ironically, Pressley was instigative right here in front of her.  
  
Shepard sighed and snapped the older man to attention by telling him to move on from thirty years ago. “Look, Nihlus is here as an ally. Yes, he’s a turian. I understand some wounds are still raw about it all, but you don’t even know if Nihlus was there then.”

“Yes, ma’am,” the navigator replied, a bit taken aback by her defense of Nihlus. And her rank.

Shepard rolled her eyes and strolled into the comm room at the back of the CIC. Captain Anderson wasn’t there yet, but Nihlus was.

“Ah, Commander. Was hoping you’d get here first. It will give us a chance to talk.”

“About?” she asked, hands on her hips. “Making everyone nervous with your Spectre status and turian fringe?”

Nihlus adjusted his weight. “Fair. To that end I’m glad you’re on board. It’s nice having a friendly human around.”

“I can imagine it’s tense on this ship, being the only turian,” she said with an attempted smile.

Nihlus nodded then began to ask her questions about Eden Prime. He subtly eyed her as he asked if she thought humanity was _ready_ for this. Shepard wasn’t sure of his inference. Did he mean the colonies, spreading humanity farther out into the galaxy? She knew the pilot had been onto something earlier when he’d said this wasn’t normal. Hell, her reassignment wasn’t either.

Shepard braced herself as Anderson entered. Over the next few minutes, Shepard learned that the run to Eden Prime was more than routine, as everyone's instincts had figured. It seemed that a Prothean beacon had been unearthed at a dig site near the colony. Knowing the importance of the Prothean Archives on Mars and what advances had been made for humanity's leaps since its discovery, Shepard understood the importance of the beacon immediately. Who knew what the technology had in store? And, for that matter, would it also soon be in demand of access by other species? Perhaps they had been brought to relocate and guard the beacon from thieves or batarian raiders.

Which...if so, a hush-hush run over a beacon's discovery felt like a typical droll Alliance cover story.  
  
None of that prepared her for the actual reason she'd been reassigned.

“I’m being considered for _what?_ ” she asked again, unsure that she’d heard the Captain correctly.

“You’ve been nominated for the first human Spectre candidate, Commander,” Nihlus repeated to her left. “I put your name forward. And so _I’m_ here to evaluate you on Eden Prime for the Council.”

“So, it’s my test. This beacon, this mission.” Shepard stared at the handsome turian. “Why would you put my name forward? Someone not human?”

Nihlus’s eyes twinkled almost imperceptibly, causing her gut to twist in a decidedly feminine and nervous way. “A voice from the Spectres was necessary to move the motion forward. Call it a hunch I had that you’d be great.”

“A chance, Commander,” Anderson amended her words. “If everything goes smoothly, this is a huge chance not only for you but for us all. For humanity.”

“Indeed,” Nihlus agreed.

Shepard swallowed. Didn’t they realize she’d lost her unit on Akuze? How was it she retained her N7 status _and_ got put in as a candidate for Spectres? Were they, too, as sucked into glorification of survival as the rest of the Alliance News Network seemed to be? Shepard knew her counterarguments, her concerns about her qualifications, would only get dismantled and handed back to her, so she saluted Anderson in both concession and hope. “Understood.”

Joker’s voice interrupted then, alerting them to footage from comms on Eden Prime. The three figures turned to face the holo-screen on the wall, confused at first by the sounds of gunfire coming from a Marine squad on the normally peaceful, agricultural colony. Immediately she wondered if any pirates had already come to snatch the valuable beacon away. As they watched, still unsure, Shepard’s eyes spotted something massive in the background. Something that made the maw in her nightmares look like a child's toy.

_Is that a fucking ship?_

“Joker, reverse to 38.5,” Anderson ordered. “Freeze.”

The pilot fixed the footage on the moment of the large black ship-like object visible in the background. It was strange, almost creature-like in structure with what even seemed to be _legs_.  
  
First a thresher maw worm. Now a ship that was insect like in itself. She almost wanted to shudder, disliking bugs as she did.

Shepard stared at it and then turned as Nihlus stepped up next to her, his mandibles fluttering and eyes narrowing in speculation.

Anderson composed himself first. And from how he did it, Shepard _knew_ he'd had to do it before, likely during first contact with the turians. “We’ve got to get down there.”

“A small ground team would work best,” Nihlus said. “Less noticeable.”

Shepard was dismissed to prepare Alenko and Jenkins for the ground cover. They pulled on gear and grabbed weapons from their lockers, then headed to the cargo hold for drop off. Nihlus surprised them by stating he would be dropped off before them. He would make better time on his own scouting ahead.

As the turian leapt, shotgun in hand, Alenko made a comment about the prowess of the Spectre. Anderson caught their attention again, concerned. Nihlus was their one strong source of support for _her_ mission. He was almost as significant as the damn beacon find itself.

“We’ve got his back, Captain,” Shepard reassured Anderson, unaware she would never have a chance to prove it.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER 5: EDEN PRIME**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
This was bad. Very bad.  
  
So bad that she was gritting her teeth wondering how they weren't just going to chapter her happy ass right out after this and into a damn military prison cell.

Five minutes into the mission Jenkins was taken out by drones.  
  
Not just injured, but killed, right in front of she and Alenko.  
  
Shepard annihilated the drones with her disruptive techniques, scrambling them with tech for she and Alenko to shoot into pieces. Then, with a barely contained scream of frustration, she tended to Jenkins' body, closing his eyes to give him rest and assuring Alenko that it would be reported.  
  
An immediate failure, but that they had to go on, even without the once thrilled soldier now dead on his home soil. Shepard felt terrible for thinking it, but if the damn kid hadn't been so eager to prove himself and run out that fast without going into cover behind her, he'd be alive right that moment looking up at her instead of lying stiff. Telling her more about those gasbag creatures instead of staying silent, motionless.

So this was Eden Prime.  
  
Just like Akuze.  
  
Don't blink, keep going, be always on her toes.

The presence of the drones indicated something far worse was going on that a simple pirate attack after the beacon, as had the footage she'd been shown prior. Such a unique ship should have already been marked and tagged in systems, and it wasn't. All of this was just...new. Raw.  
  
Shepard and Alenko hotfooted it farther to where the beacon was supposed to be located, watching in shock as actual _geth_ appeared and speared a human being on a spike. She'd only read about those spikes—the Dragon's Teeth—and how...utterly horrific they were. And she'd _never_ seen a geth in person before, never stared down one of the quarian AI creations with nothing but her pistol between them.

The shooting from a lone Marine caught her eye before she could otherwise react, before she could begin to digest all of this constant new information. They helped free the woman pinned under multiple geth fire, destroying the synthetics as Shepard demanded details as to just what the _fuck_ was going on planet-side.

“Geth showed up out of nowhere. My whole squad was taken. I'm all that's left, Ma'am.” The woman, who identified herself as Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, took heavy breaths and apologized, walking with them down to where the beacon _had_ been. “Last I saw it was being taken toward the docks, Commander.”  
  
Geth had come for the beacon. Why?  
  
“And the weird ship?” Alenko asked, curious.  
  
Williams shrugged, but the movement was tight with energy. “Geth. They came on it.”  
  
Maybe that giant weird ship was geth made, Shepard thought, but Alliance information of other groups' run-ins with geth ships had described something rather different. Still...sort of...insect-like, but not like _that_. Not that _big_. Something still felt _off_ , even in all the chaos.  
  
“You're coming with us,” Shepard commanded. “No use in you sitting out here alone. It'll be all right, Williams. Take a breath and push.”  
  
Shepard signaled and the other two followed her up a hill, with Williams relieved to not be alone anymore.

Around the hill Shepard and Alenko were able to see the effect of those geth spikes in person. They'd seen a colonist speared on one below, and now they saw what happened to the poor people after: Three spikes nearby collapsed down into their machines, freeing the once human bodies attached to them. Alliance information referred to these revitalized victims as husks, and they were just as nightmarish as they'd been described to be. Like something right out of a classic, pre-relay horror film, almost a metallic zombie.

Shepard kept her wits about her, ignoring that they'd been real people long enough to shoot them down. Alenko whipped out biotics to keep the grabby bastards back. Once finished, she breathed heavily, eyeing the robotic bodies with a hint of sadness and a steadied nerve before double checking the nearby units for any more geth. They only found two scientists—one nearly insane at that point, shouting about the ship and odd sounds—and some gear, along with a few hideout residents of the colony who'd been smuggling out of the Marines' weapon stashes.

Furious, she'd shot down a few more husks, working in synch surprisingly well with Alenko and Williams for having really just met both of them that day. Both would be getting personal recommendations from her. And both would have been amazing to have had on Akuze, calm despite all the new territory unfolding around them.

Geth appeared with their laser weapons, almost shooting through her helmet before she ducked down once. But they, too, were eventually brought to a halt. Geth, geth, and more geth. For never having seen them before, Shepard was already sick of the synthetic bodies charging, shooting and shouting in some digitalized voices that grated the ears.

Everything stopped, though, the moment she saw Nihlus.

The turian was face down on his belly near some storage. Not moving. Deathly still. Shepard shouted for Alenko and Williams to set up a perimeter as she went in hot, then moved in on the Spectre, flashes of Akuze burning in her mind.  
  
Like Jenkins, it was hard and fast to process. She'd been talking with Nihlus less than half an hour ago.  
  
Shepard hissed under her breath, seeing all the blue blood under the turian as she got closer. She closed her eyes a moment, trying to keep going and push like she told Williams. Shepard searched Nihlus as her squad kept watch, looking for tags or anything she could return to Anderson, but anything like it was well hidden in armor compartments she didn't have time to discern and find.  
  
With a curse she reached down and stroked the dead turian's arm in apology. Quietly, genuinely, she whispered, “I'm so sorry, Nihlus. I'll find who did this. And I'll end them. I hope that rewards the hunch you had.”  
  
Shepard took a breath, rose up, and gave the order to regroup.

A sudden rocking of nearby crates caught their attention, and three different guns snapped onto the movement. “Come out, _now_ ,” she barked.

A human dock worker's head poked up, his empty splayed hands following. “You're not one of the machines! Thank God.”

They all frowned, but lowered the points of their weapons as Shepard interviewed the man who'd been lucky to be alive simply for the fact that he'd taken a nap on shift during the chaos. Williams grumbled some lively insults that Shepard quieted, green eyes sharp as the dock worker quickly mentioned two turians. Two.

“What do you mean _two_ turians?”

“The...the dead one? He was talking to another one. I think he knew him. Called him Saren. Turned his, um, his back and...the Saren turian shot him dead center.”

“Your nap might have been worth more than your life after all,” Shepard muttered, satisfied enough to tell him to get shelter with the remaining survivors behind them.

Williams paused next to her. “Commander, one of the workers we found mentioned this guy. Cole, right?”

“Um...yes,” Cole whispered, dark eyes wide.

“Yeah, you're the guy stealing from the Marines' weapons. Weapons _my squad_ could have used to protect your sorry ass,” Williams almost shouted and brought her rifle up.

It was anger born of grief and trauma, and Shepard fully understood and sympathized. Still, she had Williams stand down as she dealt with Cole and took grenades from the man, telling him to fully expect to give testimony to many higher ups for this.

Williams seemed happy enough with the verbal tongue whipping Shepard gave him and eagerly followed after the Commander and Alenko toward the tram to the end of the docks. Geth were set up to prevent their passage, but after another ten minutes, they broke through and rode the platform, catching their collective breath together.

Bent low as they arrived, they stalked up the side steps and across over the tram toward the docks. Geth shot at them, so they stayed low, booking it for cover the moment they got to some zigzagging walls. Alenko metaphorically shit himself as he elbowed Shepard and pointed next to them at a huge bomb.

“Jesus _Christ_ ,” she snapped, wondering what _else_ was in store on this colony for the mission. “Alenko, you good with bombs?”

“Stellar, give me twenty seconds. But, Commander...this is a timed, controlled explosive. They are probably others,” Alenko warned and hunkered down behind her to begin disarming it.

Shepard and Williams kept the geth up ahead at a stop, busting through their shields and forcing the machines to step back and recharge. The second Alenko called out clear, they moved forward, determined and working the rhythm as they found the next bomb. And even more.

If possible, Shepard was getting Alenko a damn medal for this, because the LT worked so fast and so focused in the middle of the shit show around them that she could concentrate on keeping him covered and not even worry he might miscalculate and blow them into tiny bits of flesh.

Finally they broke into the actual docks, stepping out near the stairs and looking down over the area. Williams pointed at a green, strange column-like object. “There! That's the beacon!”

“We secure the area and the beacon for transport. Let's go.” Shepard took point and moved out, Alenko right behind her taking out a husk that suddenly climbed the side of the stairs. “Thanks!” she called and began firing out on one of the two geth in the area, Williams taking out the second with some great focused fire of her rifle.

They all three stared at the weird glowing beacon, a bit unnerved by the alien structure. Williams shifted her feet. “I can keep watch.”

“Good, I'll radio in.” Shepard snapped her arm up and worked her omni-tool, making sure Captain Anderson was in her comm. “Captain, we've secured the beacon, but I've got some very bad news. Yeah, it's ready for pick up. Docks. It was moved.”

“Commander!” Williams suddenly shouted and pointed behind her.

Shepard spun, pistol coming up in defense, but then she saw what the woman was afraid of. The beacon had lit up, glowing and making weird noise as it physically _sucked_ Alenko toward it. Alenko jerked and wrestled with some invisible force, trying to break away, but it wasn't enough. Shepard charged him, hoping the extra force would do it. With a quick move she hit into him, swung him around behind her and threw him out of the beacon's range.

Alenko rolled away, safe.

Shepard, however, wasn't.  
  
Seconds later she felt the power of the pulling that Alenko had struggled so hard against now yanking her up into the air, arms out.

What came next was so traumatic that she completely blacked out then and there, not feeling her body get thrown into Alenko as the beacon literally exploded.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER SIX: AFTERMATH**

  
  


Flashing images in red, black, and orange attacked her mind. Nothing made sense in the dream. Shepard’s eyes twitched as it repeated itself; she waited for the blurred shapes, trying to guess at their nature, but came up with nothing. Odd, scratching, high-pitched noises accompanied the images, making her head pound more.

The Commander finally awoke when she heard her name being repeated by a masculine voice.

Shepard slowly blinked and took in the low lighting in the _Normandy_ ’s medbay. She tried to sit up and cringed, holding her head as it continued to pound. Finally the person in front of her focused itself to reveal Kaidan Alenko. “Commander! You're awake,” he said, a note of concern in his voice mixing with relief.

Shepard glanced to her left as Chakwas stepped near. “What happened to me?”

“The beacon, back on Eden Prime—it started pulling me toward it, but you managed to wrestle me out of its path, and it chose you. Something strange happened, where you got lifted in the air and then it exploded. Blast knocked you out cold,” Kaidan said, wringing his hands. “I carried you back to the ship.”

She noticed he looked guilty. “Alenko, it's alien tech. Hardly your fault.”

“Thanks, Commander,” he replied with a small smile.

Chakwas gained her attention. Shepard moved forward to stand and lean against the end of the bed. “How long was I out?”

“Two days. I noticed some interesting increases in your rapid eye movement and brain wave activity. Were you dreaming a lot?” the doctor asked, fingers at her chin and lips in thought.

Shepard nodded, arms crossed over her chest. “I saw...a vision, I guess, back on Eden Prime. It kept replaying in my head, over and over, like some horrid nightmare. Just...death, war.”

The door to the medbay hissed open to her right as Captain Anderson entered. “Commander, glad to see you up,” he began and glanced to the doctor and LT. “I’d like to speak with Shepard in private.”

“I’ll be in the mess, Commander,” Alenko informed her, glancing at her on his way out and rubbing the back of his head.

Doctor Chakwas simply nodded. “Of course. Take your time.”

Once Shepard was alone with Anderson she vented out her frustration about Eden Prime. The vision-like nightmares from the beacon had driven her nearly over the edge with fear and worry, fueling her irritation as she remembered the events that happened at the colony in snippets until they ran once more like a video in her head. Though she was glad they were able to find Chief Williams, Jenkins had died. Nihlus had been killed. And fortunately the Captain understood her comments concerning intel dropping the ball about the geth and didn’t reprimand her for her tone in the grief and anger.

She saw Anderson’s eyes grow large when she mentioned Nihlus’s death and the human dockworker’s testimony that another turian had killed their ally, especially when she dropped the name Cole had given her. Immediately, Anderson gave her a profile of the turian called Saren: He was a Spectre, like Nihlus, but one with a track record of hate for humans. Why he had been there with geth, Anderson couldn’t answer, but he told her they absolutely had to get to the Citadel and report to the Council. Saren just simply couldn’t get away with the disaster on Eden Prime, and this went up and far beyond a simple Alliance matter now.

Anderson gave her a few moments to herself in the medbay after that. Shepard sat on the floor, bent her legs, and began breathing exercises to keep her calm. It wasn’t something taught at the Academy; Caios had taught her, as a child, the importance of calmness—of how it could help her, protect her when she was vulnerable.  
  
_“But why, Caios?” the six-year-old Shepard asked, wide-eyed at the turian._

_He shifted and had her sit in front of him in a similar position. “The more you practice this, the better it will work, and if you’re anything like your parents, then you’ll join the Alliance one day. You’ll understand then. Now watch me.”_

_She mimicked his position: left leg somewhat straight, right leg bent, forehead bowed slightly, the talons of his hands touching their tips together in front of his right knee. Caios closed his eyes, took in a breath, and counted aloud for her to hear, though he spoke in his turian language. As he got to ten he elevated his head back, exhaling slowly as he lowered his head once more._

_One of his eyes cracked open, amused. “Now, you try, youngling.”_

_“Okay.” Shepard, ever the observant child, imitated his movements exactly. As she finished releasing her breath, she opened her eyes and found the turian’s plates adjusting in what she had come to know as a turian smile, done without showing his sharp teeth. “Caios?”_

_“Yes?”_

_“Do you miss your family?”_

_His face-thingies, the mandibles as he called them, flared a little while he looked at her innocent self. “Yes.”_

_“Can’t you go home? Can’t you see them?”_

_“I....”_

Shepard snapped out of the memory during her exhale. Wondering if Caios had ever heard of Saren before. Wondering if Nihlus could hear her own apologies for his loss, wherever his spirit could be.

She entered the mess hall after a few moments of peace and reflection. Shepard made sure to speak first with Gunnery Chief Williams. The poor woman was still angry and feeling guilty about losing her squad on Eden Prime. Given her experience with Akuze, Shepard understood all too well and offered Ashley support, telling the new recruit to the _Normandy_ that she was glad to have her aboard. That Williams didn't have to justify her position there.

Kaidan tried to get her attention before she returned to the CIC. “Hey, Commander?”

“Yeah, Kaidan?” She paused, aware of the brief glance of his dark eyes over her face.

“I, um...I’m sorry again. You got hurt because of me, and I shouldn’t have let that happen.” He shifted in his footing, guiltily.

“Don’t worry about it, LT. I’m fine.”

His smile seemed relieved...and more than friendly.

Anderson’s voice rang out over the comm, telling her to get to the bridge since Joker was getting the _Normandy_ close to the Citadel. She had traveled all of her life on ships because of her parents, but she had never actually been to the galaxy’s most famous space station. Feeling excited and renewed for the first time in days, she shoved the dark and sad feelings behind her, wanting to enjoy the view. She, Kaidan, and Ashley walked up to the cockpit together, all of them bending to look out the port side window next to Joker.

As the Normandy entered the Citadel’s space, Shepard’s eyes took in the strange mist and dust outside. Light refracted from it, allowing her to see hues of pinks and purples through it. And then the Citadel itself came into view, along with some of the ships patrolling its space.

Ashley shouted behind her as the asari flagship, the _Destiny Ascension_ , moved past them. “Holy crap!”

Shepard grinned in agreement, absolutely mesmerized by the massive ship’s design. She’d have to read about it when she got the chance. Her eyes traveled past it to the arms of the Citadel. For the first time, Shepard realized how largely scaled the Citadel itself really was as it dwarfed all of the ships around it, including the _Destiny Ascension_ and the _Normandy_.

“Just like he described it,” she murmured to herself, green eyes taking it all in as Joker prepared to dock.

“Who?” she heard Kaidan ask behind her.

“Old family friend,” she replied, unwilling to share memories of the turian with someone she didn’t know well.

Shepard’s heart rate increased as the _Normandy_ settled into her docking bay and the pressure locks clamped down on the ship’s side. She was finally going to set foot on the Citadel, and it wasn't going to be on good terms. Lady Luck help her, for her first visit might just be her last.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER SEVEN: THE FRUSTRATED TURIAN**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
After the meeting with Udina, Shepard could only hope that the meeting with the Council where humanity accused Saren of being behind the attack on Eden Prime could go better.  
  
The human ambassador had tried to tear her apart, blaming her for the beacon explosion and the general complete fuck up of the mission that had apparently screwed humanity's chances of getting into Spectre ranks. Anderson, bless him, hadn't taken it and stood up for them, telling the squad to meet up in the Tower when notified. Later, flanked by Kaidan and Ashley, Shepard made her way from the elevator through the Citadel Tower looking for Anderson.

She stopped when she encountered two turians arguing with one another. The turian on her right was Executor Pallin, whom she had already encountered in the embassies part of the Citadel’s Presidium. Pallin was a by-the-book fellow, so it seemed, as he had a healthy dose of anti-Spectre attitude. Figuring something was up, she made a hand signal for her squad mates to wait behind her as she approached the pair.

When she got close enough to make out the turian on her left, she froze. Even in regular C-Sec uniform armor, there was something about him that caused him to stand out. His silvery white plating and blue facial markings caught her eye, but her attention moved as he turned his head to show off his expensive visor.  
  
“What I wouldn’t do for one of those babies,” she murmured, thinking of her sniper rifle.

“Look, Executor, I know Saren’s behind this. Just give me more time to prove it! I’m on to something!”

The vibrating dual-tone she had come to expect in turian voices reached her ears, causing a small tingle to go down her spine. He had a sexy voice, and though she liked it, liked the way it almost made some part of her shudder, now was _so_ not the time for it. Clamping down any further considerations of those wanting shudders, Shepard cautiously approached, even more interested as Saren’s name was brought up again.

“I told you, Garrus. Enough. This investigation is over.” Pallin turned to walk away and saw her standing there, her brows raised. “Ah, Commander. I believe the Council is almost ready.”

“All right,” she replied, her eyes traveling between the two turians.  
  
Unlike her comrades behind her, Shepard knew more about turian body language. Caios had taught her certain signs so she would know if someone meant her trouble, but his teaching had opened the door to her curiosity—so now, as Shepard watched the mandible movements, head tilts, faceplate adjustments, and stances changing, she saw massive amounts of details she'd studied all testing to the tension in the exchange before her. Their bodies were talking: Pallin’s stance became straighter, his mandibles tightening to his face and his gloved hands moving behind his back. In response, the blue-marked turian’s mandibles flared a little in opposition, faceplates lifting slightly, foot casually taking a step forward in a gesture no human could notice. In short, the Executor was pulling military commanding positions that turians were raised to respect instinctually; it caused the other turian to get frustrated as he made a final plea.

Finally the Executor shook his head and stalked past her, turning his back on the insubordinate turian without a last glance—that time an action universally understood. The dismissal spurred the turian in front of her to grip his gloved hands into fists at his sides.

“Everything all right?” she asked, a bit concerned.

As he turned to face her fully, her breath caught.  
  
His amazing blue eyes, unlike any other pair on any individual human or alien she’d encountered before, narrowed, then widened in relief upon recognizing her. The blue was almost starburst in design with specks of white-blue, ice, darker hints of what might be a shade of green or gold randomly hidden in them. But over all they were such a gorgeous antarctic ice blue.  
  
He just _had_ to be a good looking turian with eyes like those. Damn it.

“Commander Shepard,” he said, focusing on her now and his voice once again making her nerves dance, “I’m Garrus Vakarian, the officer in charge of C-Sec’s investigation into Saren Arterius’s connection to Eden Prime.”

She tilted her head in a turian greeting, earning a slightly confused but openly surprised look from him. “Nice to meet you, Vakarian. Glad to see you’re thinking and not just hating on humans.”

“Of course, Commander. What is it you humans say? Something about my gut doesn't like this.”

“Same here.”

“Look, C-Sec is cutting off my investigation, but I’ll uh...keep digging what I can, though. Let me know if I can do anything for you.” He shifted in his stance, his frustration getting the best of him. “The Council’s probably ready now.”

“Yeah.” She made another hand signal and her comrades rejoined her, eyeing Vakarian suspiciously. “LT, Chief Williams, this is Garrus Vakarian. C-Sec has shot his investigation of Saren down. We’ll do what we can up there,” Shepard explained, hands gesturing.

“Got it, Commander.” Kaidan nodded at her, hands at his sides, while Ashley openly viewed the turian with suspicion.

Shepard sighed, having been previously unaware of the woman’s xeno-attitudes. A cough from the turian caught her attention again. “I just want to say good luck, Commander.”

She nodded, giving him that turian body language again. Shepard watched his brow plates move as he tried to decipher if she knew what she was doing or if she was accidentally making customary gestures in his culture. “Thanks, Officer Vakarian.”

With her squad mates behind her, Shepard took a breath and moved past the handsome, frustrated turian, steeling herself to face the biggest wigs in the galaxy.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER EIGHT: OBSERVING THE MEETING**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Garrus sat in his office, eyes on the holo screen in front of him as he watched the human commander, her squad, commanding officer, and ambassador confront the Council and Saren. Though the Council was making obvious counterarguments to accusations concerning Saren, as they normally would without physical proof, Garrus ignored them.  
  
He wanted to see what the female commander was going to do.  
  
Would she back down or would she confront them further?

Humanity had shown itself to be driven, determined, and power-hungry to the rest of the galaxy, but Garrus knew from some of his C-Sec experiences that there was more to the aliens, just as there was more than military life in his culture.

In a window next to the live security feed, Garrus had opened Commander Shepard’s files in the C-Sec database, information gathered for Citadel security reasons for any visitors. He hadn’t needed to hack for them; he wasn’t interested in her personal service record or intimate data. All he wanted to know was what kind of person she was. Rumors had been circulating that the Commander would be humanity’s first Spectre candidate for Council approval, and it looked confirmed by the way the live feeds had been playing out before him.

Of course he had heard about Akuze. When it finally broke as a public news story, he and several other officers on break had watched it together, shocked by what they had heard. This human, this small, delicate looking female, had taken down a thresher maw with nothing but a broken Mako and a pistol. A lone female who survived listening to her squad being burned by acid, crushed and even half-eaten. It reaffirmed belief among the alien C-Sec officers that humanity was deceptive in its members strength and talents.

Garrus, on the other hand, could see glimpses into her character, or so he liked to think. She had to have been pissed off. Spirits knew he would have willingly walked into death to avenge his unit had it been him in the situation. But the pictures that had been shown along with the broadcast were surprising to many—her spotted cheeks downcast in expression, her green eyes burning under that red human fringe. The Commander seemed angry to be interviewed about it, further confirming his suspicions that she had believed herself to fail on Akuze and not thought herself the heroic maw-killing sole survivor.  
  
And yet this came from the same female who had, just a short time ago, given him two turian signs: a greeting and a sympathy gesture in his own body language. How had she known to do that? He no longer believed it coincidental.

Garrus’s attention swung back to the live feeds in the other window.

“I dislike these accusations. Nihlus was a personal friend,” Saren’s holo self spoke from off to the side. He obviously wasn’t near enough to travel to the Citadel to defend himself in person, and that fact triggered Garrus’s instincts more. With Spectres’ files classified until made available, Garrus couldn't even try to find Saren's physical navpoint.

“Look, Madame Councilor, a witness saw Saren shoot Nihlus Kryik in cold blood,” the human ambassador urged.

Garrus sat up, shocked and carefully watched the Spectre’s holographic form for visual clues of guilt. The bastard was too clever to show any.

“A human witness.” The salarian councilor crossed his arms, his demeanor condescending. “A _dock worker_.”

“Since _when_ does one's profession discount a testimony? Are you not going to hold Saren, a Spectre to that standard, then?” the Commander suddenly shouted. “It doesn't matter. You’re clearly not going to believe anything we say, but you have to know we wouldn’t lie about this or the geth presence. So go find the synthetic bodies on Eden Prime! Investigate it yourselves! Investigate _him_.”

“Commander, the geth presence is of some concern and will be looked into, we can assure you that,” the asari Councilor replied, trying to play the peacekeeper like typical asari.

“We are grateful, Madame Councilor,” Udina said with a slight nod.

Garrus inwardly groaned as his own Councilor Sparatus spoke up. Sparatus was...well meaning, but a huge cynic and really only looking out for turians. It was his job as their representative on the Council, sure, but Sparatus's cynicism against most species made things tense at times. He was smart enough to pause occasionally, though, as he did now. “As for this...dream and the beacon.”

“Are we allowing dreams as evidence, Councilors?” Saren asked. His voice dripped sarcasm. "I'll submit my own."

Garrus saw the Commander’s stance change as she looked up at the Spectre. He focused the feed and was able to capture the utter hate in her eyes, readable even to his turian ones. “What, didn’t the beacon give you the same vision?”

Amazingly, Saren didn’t stumble or give any clue that she had gotten to him. “I wasn’t on Eden Prime, as I’ve stated before, Commander. I only know what I do from receiving Nihlus’s reports, which were passed to me after he died.”

Commander Shepard obviously wasn’t buying it as she glared at him, and it was then, for the briefest second, that Garrus saw Saren’s composure crack. The turian had cleverly disguised the movement with shoulder roll, but Garrus had seen the way his faceplates had moved and the challenge in them. Guilt hidden in anger. The need to silence her.

“At any rate, this catastrophic failure on Eden Prime proved that humanity is not ready to join the Spectres,” Saren continued. "Perhaps not for a long time."

“He has no right to say that! It's not his decision!” the angry human ambassador called.

The asari Councilor angled her head. “Saren, he has a point, but Ambassador, the truth is the Council is unwilling to risk Spectre instatement at this time. This mission was not a successful trial.”

Udina hung his head low, a five-fingered human hand coming up to rub his face. Garrus watched the Commander exchange glances with her crew and her Captain, frustration readily evident between them. Saren was carefully composed again, but subtly smirking nonetheless.

“I’ve got to do something,” Garrus murmured to himself. “But what?”

That was when the message flashed across his screen: possible attack at the clinic by the upper markets. _Not the Doc,_ he cursed, grabbed his gun and left.

The screen flickered behind him as the Commander walked away, her fists balled just as his own had been half an hour earlier. But the cameras never faltered filming that walk, silent witnesses to the start of a rivalry that would soon span the galaxy.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER NINE: DIRECTION**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She had _had_ it.  
  
Because there was no physical evidence linking the bastard Saren to Eden Prime and the geth, she had to dig some up on her own. To that end Anderson had thought to point Shepard and her squad in a few directions. First, he mentioned the volus Barla Von, who worked in the financial district and was an agent for the secretive information trader, the Shadow Broker. Shepard had already encountered him. Second, Anderson explained more about Saren and the Spectres. Yes, there had been bad blood between Anderson and Saren, which gave Shepard clarity into Udina’s comment about Anderson’s presence in the Council meeting being a mistake. Shepard listened to what he had to say, but she had felt her Captain was holding information back from her. It was stupid, but she would obsessively analyze it, since she figured it would reveal something else about the whole mess.

It was Gunnery Chief Williams who had proposed them finding that blue-marked turian, Garrus Vakarian, as another direction of aid. Shepard found that funny, considering how Ashley had initially viewed him with suspicion and distrust. Anderson suggested a business trip to Chora’s Den, an asari dancer's club and frequented haunt of one suspended C-Sec officer named Harkin; he felt Harkin would know where to find Garrus. At least Anderson had the mind to warn them about the asshole.

As the trio made their way toward Chora’s Den, going through the first external door and about to take one of the two paths to the inner entrance, the skin on the back of Shepard’s neck tingled under her suit; the same thing had happened just before the thresher maw’s attack on Akuze.

“Watch out!” she shouted as she took in the two turian assassins, both wielding guns standing between their squad and the club.

Shepard brought up her pistol and made quick work of the first assassin and instructed Kaidan to throw the other.

Together the trio pinned the remaining assassin as he bled out from one of Ashley's bullets that had caught near his neck.  
  
Shepard eyed him, knowing they had little time. “Who sent you?”

Bright eyes quickly dulled. The turian gurgled, a hand reaching up at her, the other grasping at his bleeding throat.  
  
“I asked who sent you. Was it Saren?”

The hand reaching upward fell back, and Shepard caught the sneer still on the turian's faceplates even as he slowly bled to death.

“Then you leave me no choice,” she murmured. “Believe it or not, assassin, I've got bigger shit to deal with today.”

Shepard didn’t stay to see Kaidan put the assassin out of his gurgling misery with a point blank shot. She didn't listen to Kaidan's murmurs as Shepard quickly typed a message through her omni-tool to Anderson about the assassination attempt.  
  
She'd just listened to Ashley. To Williams's slight jitter about the _sound_ of the shot. The finality of the echo.  
  
Shepard got it.

It was the nature of it, she supposed, that still felt raw despite the turian trying to kill _her_ moments prior. It inspired memories, recounts of testimonies of the First Contact War with turians who hadn't surrendered as Caios had or those unlucky enough to have been captured by jittery or biased Alliance soldiers.

Once her message was sent and she was prepared, Shepard entered Chora’s Den and tried not to roll her eyes at all of the males of mixed species admiring the asari table dancers. Shepard walked past a despondent looking older turian as he downed the rest of his drink. She shoved aside the concern and stopped just in time to see an exchange between two krogan, one of which was much larger with red colored eyes and plating. Deep scars lined his mouth and throat. Shepard’s eyes nearly popped from her head, widening as they roamed a bullet entrance on the edge of his forehead.

“Get out of here, Wrex,” the first krogan grunted at the bigger red crested krogan.

“Tell Fist I'm coming,” Wrex replied, walking past Shepard and Ashley. He must have seen the expression on Shepard’s face, because he paused a moment to say, “Humans, I have no business with you here.”

“He looked rough,” Ashley commented behind her.

“No shit. Seems they have a honest reputation,” Shepard replied, eyes finally settling on a human sitting alone with a glass. “That’s probably him.”

Shepard turned to the man in his low-key uniform. “You Harkin?”

“Who’s asking?” His gruff voice barked out at her before he gave her a full body look. “Damn. Well, sweetheart, what can I do for you?”

“Shove it, Harkin. I’m looking for Garrus Vakarian.”

“That hot-headed turian? Why would you want to deal with him?”

“Look, can you tell us where we can find him or not?”

“Used to go sniffing around that med clinic by the upper market level, the one near the other entrance to C-Sec. Probably had a thing for that doctor there or some crazy shit. Who knows?” Harkin commented, downing his glass. “That turian always goes looking for trouble.”

“Aren’t you one who was suspended from C-Sec for trouble reasons?”

“Or drinking ones,” Ashley observed.

Harkin rolled his eyes. “You got me.” As they turned to leave, Harkin called out to them again. “You’re Shepard, aren’t you? Commander Shepard, that hero from Akuze who survived the maw.”

Shepard’s fist tightened unconsciously at her side, earning her a concerned look from Kaidan. “Yeah, why?”

“I know something else you probably should, but it’ll cost you.”

She turned to face him. “What?”

Harkin smirked.

“Wipe that expression off your face,” Kaidan retorted, moving closer to Shepard. “Commander, this disrespect—”

Shepard held her hands up. “Look, we both know he's going to tell me whatever it is, or he wouldn’t have mentioned it. I’m obviously not in a mood to do whatever you want to repay you for the information, Harkin, so talk or shut up.”

Harkin smirked. “Fine. Have it your way. But you should know something, Shepard, since he just cost you your damn trial. That Captain Anderson that you admire so much? He’s not so admirable.”

“What did you just say?” Shepard growled out; the feat of it would have impressed any turian.

“I said he’s not so admirable. See, he was actually the candidate for the first human Spectre, back some years ago. Had to partner with Saren. Mission was a total bomb, with lots of causalities.” Harkin’s smug smile caused all three Alliance members to twitch their brows. “Anderson keeps blaming Saren for it. Interesting, that grudge, isn’t it?”

“I don’t buy your shit,” Shepard countered. But part of her was thinking about it. After all, her gut told her Anderson hadn’t explained everything between he and Saren.

“I don’t care if you do,” Harkin insisted. “Just ask him about it. I’m not lying.”

Shepard rolled her shoulders and stalked off, passing by that old turian once again. Her gut gnawed at her, and she paused suddenly, nearly causing Kaidan to bash off her back. Both of her squad gave her strange looks as Shepard sat down opposite of the turian.  
  
“Can I help you with something?” he asked. He was tired and drunk, but his eyes were still bright. His plating was very dark compared to his markings.

Shepard smiled. “Actually, I was about to ask you the same thing. You look down....”

The turian realized she was fishing for his name. “Oraka. General Septimus Oraka. I’m a retired general now...and yeah, I suppose I could use help.”

“So what’s got you down, General? I’m Commander Shepard.”

“Ah, Commander. I’ve heard about you. Hell of a thing you did, taking that maw out. Probably still pissed off about it, too, huh?” he asked, head tilting in more of a greeting now. “At least know this, kid—that stunt impressed a lot of my people, even if they don't want to admit it. Turians fight to the last standing, but there's not always pride to be had in it.”

She genuinely thanked him, glad to see understanding from someone not even human, and returned the tilt. “Yes. Maybe turians are the only ones who understand that feeling. Most people I speak to about it think I’m heroic. I’m not.”

“Still, it was no failure on your part, kid. Parameters changed, and you adjusted. You’ll do great, hell could be a general, too, someday.”

“Thanks.”

He sat back in his chair. “As for my problem, well, it’s trivial, but it’s involved two others because of my stupidity. It's getting to be a political mess.”

“Anything I can do?”

Kaidan and Ashley both continued to eye her with confusion and genuine surprise as Shepard agreed to speak to the asari Consort on the Presidium to offer apologies on Oraka’s behalf. “After you speak with her, return to me, and I’ll give you information that will help an elcor near your embassies. Maybe she'll help. Maybe she won't.”

“All right. Be back when I can. Trying to track down a C-Sec officer, too.”

“Oh?”

“Garrus Vakarian. Know him?”

“Vakarian. Only one Vakarian clan, only one line in it with C-Sec valor. Must be Atreyus’s son, then. Atreyus was well known in C-Sec before he retired. Still does consult work with the Hierarchy back on Palaven.”

“Family business, huh?”

Oraka snorted. “You could say that.”  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER TEN: FINDING GARRUS**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
On their way to the med clinic, the trio encountered several merchants. Shepard bought a license from each one for the requisitions officer on the _Normandy_ and stocked up on a couple of medigel and grenade upgrades. She hoped once she’d gotten some more credits in that she’d be able to outfit her squad better; all of them deserved new armor and better guns than Alliance grade, but unless she got Spectre status, nothing could change.

Shepard was just about to speak with a volus merchant when a strange blond man shouted for her. She eyed him, the excited look in his face, and realized what he was far too late.

“Commander Shepard! I’m Conrad, Conrad Verner. I’m a big fan,” he began excitedly. “What you did on Akuze is just amazing.”

Fighting off her inward groan, Shepard sighed. “Hello, Conrad. Is there something I can do for you?”

“Oh, I just wondered if I could get your autograph, Commander?”

Figuring the fan’s evident passion meant he wasn’t planning on trying to scam her bank account, Shepard signed a datapad for him.  
  
“Gee, thanks! My wife is going to love this! I’ll see you around, Commander,” he said with a smile before walking off, holding his prize.

Kaidan laughed. “Well, Commander, I take it that happens a lot?”

“I’m just glad he said he had a wife,” she replied with a groan, earning a smile from Ashley next to her.

Fans weren't common, no, but after the incident while she was still on Earth there had been some crowds of people. Mostly journalists and overly enthusiastic men obsessed with the idea of her prowess.

After speaking with a volus merchant about Feros and Noveria colonies, Shepard continued through to another area. A young woman named Emily Wong stopped her then; Emily was a journalist on the Citadel and upon recognizing Shepard's political weight (or honestly, the current lack thereof) requested Shepard’s help in breaking a very important story. Shepard reluctantly agreed, telling the woman that if she found anything to incriminate a man called Fist that she would let her know.

Yet again that name popped up in her explorations of the Citadel, getting more and more familiar for all the mystery it held.

Just beyond where Emily had been standing was a large viewing window. Shepard couldn’t resist the urge to walk up and view the Citadel’s arms from it. Kaidan and Ashley each stepped up next to her, both in awe. The arms went out as far as the eye could see, buildings forever forward getting smaller and blending into the station's twinkling lights.

“It’s huge!”

“It’s a gigantic city!”

“No wonder they’re distrusting of us,” Shepard commented, hand out in a gesture. “Look at all of this. It's one giant resource.”

Ashley shrugged a little to her left. “Eh, I guess you’re right.”

Kaidan leaned against the partial wall. “No, the Commander _is r_ ight. We’re pushing for too much too fast. Each of them had their time to prove themselves, too.”

“And most of them live centuries, LT,” Ashley shot back. “We've not got the damn time.”

“Both of you.” Shepard sighed. “Yet they still like things humanity’s got, right? We’ve got diverse people, some of 'em even pretty. Love.”

“I’d say you’re beyond pretty, Shepard,” Kaidan said, then sputtered, eyes wide as he heard his own words. “I mean, uh....”

Ashley laughed while Kaidan turned red next to them. Shepard smiled. “It’s fine, Lieutenant.”

“Sorry, ma’am.”

“Ugh, don’t call me _that_ , though.” Shepard smiled and pushed away from the wall she had been leaning against. “Makes me sound fucking old.”

  
  


\-------------------------

  
  


No one was outside of the med clinic when they arrived.

Unsure, Shepard opened its doors and immediately had a hand on her pistol at the sight greeting her: A middle paneling divided the clinic, with a large open area taking up most of the chest to ceiling view, allowing Shepard to see the thugs grabbing a poor human doctor across the clinic as the woman began to scream. Shepard pulled her pistol up as the movement to her left caught her eye.

 _Garrus_.

He was hunched against the edge of the middle separation, pistol in hand. The moment the thugs realized Shepard’s presence and opened fire on her squad, Garrus stepped out and put a bullet in the head of the bastard holding the doctor hostage. The doctor ran to hide behind some cover, as did Garrus.

“Kaidan, throw the crates and take out hostiles’ cover. Ashley, I want to hear your rifle singing,” Shepard called out as she moved into position, picking her target and sabotaging his omni-tool with her own. The order wasn't needed so much, though; in moments it was over with the mercs, clearly cheap inexperienced hires, gunned down. Shepard marched over to where the turian was helping the doctor to her feet. “Ma’am, are you okay?” Shepard asked, concerned as she pushed her pistol onto its holster, feeling it close back up.

“Yes, I’m fine, thanks to you all,” the doctor replied in a French accent. The woman looked relieved, eyeing all of them in front of her. “I’m Dr. Chloe Michel. Thank you again.”

“Commander Shepard, Alliance. You're welcome, Dr. Michel,” Shepard greeted her back. She turned immediately on Garrus Vakarian, the question blatant as she demanded, “Officer Vakarian, what were you thinking endangering her like that?”

Garrus appeared shocked, as if realizing now that if his aim had been off, if her attacker had moved any differently, then the Doctor would have taken the head shot instead of the thug holding her. The skill with the shot itself had been reassuring, and honestly impressive to Shepard, but even so....

Garrus sighed. “I, I just reacted. It was the best opportunity.” He refocused on Dr. Michel, concerned. “I’m so sorry, Doc. Are you all right?”

“It’s fine, Garrus. You didn’t miss.”  
  
Shepard’s brow rose at the friendly, yet romantic tone of the woman’s voice. She refocused, voice authoritative and stance modified from one Caios and her father had both used in their respective fields. “Listen, Vakarian. I need evidence to bring Saren down. You offered help. I’m taking you up on it.”

“Of course, Commander. But don’t restrict it to my files. I want to be there when you nail him.”

Her green eyes met his blue ones with curiosity. “Why? You’re turian. Wouldn’t you feel—”

Garrus cut her off. “I don’t feel resentment towards humans personally, Commander, and Saren is a disgrace to my people. So I will feel _just fine_.”

“You have permission to join me, then, Officer Vakarian, so long as you understand that I do not approve of just putting innocent civilians in danger to deal with a target. I make another way, if possible, and only if impossible will I do otherwise.”

His mandibles fluttered somewhat in surprise. He reached forward, shaking the hand she had extended toward him. Shepard clamped down the inner squirming at how interesting his hold felt to her hand: his was much larger than hers, with three rather long fingers wrapping. It made his grip feel exotic. She knew it wasn't a turian thing to shake hands, but something he'd probably been taught in C-Sec for dealing with humans politically.  
  
“I understand,” he said agreeably. “Just Garrus, please, Commander.”

“Okay, Garrus.” Shepard refocused on Dr. Michel. “Doctor, who were those men and why were they threatening you?”

“They work for Fist. They wanted some information about a quarian girl who was in the clinic recently,” Dr. Michel began, hand under her chin. “Something about geth.”

“We were notified that Fist had been working for the Shadow Broker and betrayed him to work for Saren,” Kaidan piped up, recalling the conversation with Barla Von. “Emily Wong mentioned him, too. Sounds like the guy's wrapped up in _a lot_ here.”

It hit Shepard, and as she looked over at Garrus she knew it had struck him, too. “The quarian girl. She’s got evidence against Saren.”

“Has to be it,” Garrus nodded in agreement.

Dr. Michel’s face lit up in remembrance. “Oh, yes! I put her in touch with Fist originally because she wanted to speak to a Shadow Broker agent. She mentioned that she had some sort of connection between the geth _and_ Saren, but she seemed hesitant to talk beyond that.”

“Doc, you’re a godsend.” Shepard smiled at the woman widely. “Clearly we need to go get Fist. Care to join us, Garrus?”

“Yes.” For the first time since she had seen him, Garrus appeared eager and excited, blue eyes lit up with that turian spirit.

“Commander, what about that krogan we saw in Chora’s Den? Didn’t he say he was going to take out Fist or something?” Ashley asked, looking at Shepard.

Shepard smacked her fist into her other palm. “Yes! Wrex was his name. We need to find him. Having a krogan could come in handy.”

“He’s probably being detained in C-Sec for threats, then. I’ll lead you there and check,” Garrus offered. Shepard nodded and moved aside so he could lead the way, her eyes never leaving the back of his tall form.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER ELEVEN: FIST**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ashley wasn’t thrilled about being told to hang back so Garrus could try being on the squad with Shepard and Kaidan for a while. She still seemed concerned about the turian, but the look on Shepard’s face obviously showed the Commander’s stance on the matter. Still, the young soldier smiled when Shepard gave her permission to wander, so long as she stayed either near the embassies or returned to the ship.

As they watched Ashley head off, Shepard sighed. “Oh yeah. I’ve got some errands to run after all this, before we leave the Citadel.” She held her hand up, counting items off on her fingers as she and Kaidan entered the elevator behind Garrus. “Oraka and the Consort, Oraka’s other thing for the elcor, check out any other places just to keep a layout of the place in mind, and whatever else the Council tosses my way if this quarian girl comes through.”

“You don’t really have to do all that, Shepard,” Kaidan said slightly behind her to the left.

Shepard felt Garrus shifting his weight in the medium-sized elevator as it rode down to C-Sec headquarters. “Oraka. What are you doing for him? Did you say the Consort?”

“Yeah. Complicated.”

“Commander, your LT is right. You don’t owe turians random favors, either, don't need to prove you're trustworthy with all this crap with Saren going on. Oraka's a general, or retired, if I remember correctly,” Garrus insisted, confusion in his voice. “He’ll be fine.”

“You didn’t see the way he was eyeing his drink,” Shepard said, hearing Kaidan murmur in agreement. As the elevator stopped and they moved to exit it, Shepard turned catching Garrus’s gaze. “I don't owe anyone favors, no, but I'd rather spend my time doing something than sitting on my ass watching a screen twiddling my thumbs waiting. And...well. It's the memory of a turian that makes me want to help others.”

Brow plates rising in curiosity, Garrus didn’t say anything as she revolved again. They entered the main part of C-Sec, where the docking bay elevator could also be used. Off to their right stood the red krogan as he stared down a group of C-Sec officers.

“Wrex, you have to stop making threats against Fist.”

“I've got a contract, so I _will_ kill him.” Wrex lowered his massive head to be on eye-level with the human officer speaking to him.

“Are you _asking_ me to arrest you?” the officer asked, flustered and out of patience. “Just walk into a damn cell now. It'll be easier. Here, I'll _push_ you.”

Wrex straightened, replying with a gruff laugh that sounded more like a body being drug over gravel. “I’d like to see you try.”

The officer waved him off, frustrated. Wrex turned to walk away and saw Shepard waiting. Shepard felt Kaidan move closer, probably from instinct as the huge krogan came up to her. Garrus crossed his arms to her right but angled himself toward her protectively. For her part, though, Shepard remained unfazed _._

“Commander Shepard,” Wrex murmured, staring down at her.

Shepard met his red eyes without fear. “You’re Wrex. Saw you in Chora’s Den. How do you know my name?”

“Who doesn’t after that crap with the maw? Pretty impressive for a human.”

Shepard nodded, hoping her invitation wouldn't land _her_ in a cell, too. “Listen, we’re going to pay Fist a little visit. Thought you might be interested in joining instead of staying stuck, ah, here.”

The krogan watched her, as if assessing her in some way, then reached out his huge three-fingered hand. “We’re warriors, Shepard, and your people say, ‘the enemy of my enemy is my friend.’ Let's go.”  
  
  
  


\-------------------------  
  
  


Now it was Kaidan’s turn to be concerned and frustrated.  
  
“You’re sure you’re okay with this, Commander?” he asked quietly, hoping to be discreet when he talked to her slightly away from the two aliens.

“Kaidan, I’m betting they can still hear you, but yes, I’m fine. I’ll _be_ fine. Don’t question my order on this,” she said firmly.

He flushed. “Sorry, ma’am—I mean, Commander. Just concerned with you not having an Alliance member on your six.”

“It won’t be for long. I’m giving you the same benefit I did Ashley. Roam the embassies or head back to the ship.”

“Got it, Commander.”

Shepard walked back over to Garrus and Wrex, both of whom tossed her amused expressions. “Bet we could hear it, huh,” the krogan started as they fell into a line, walking toward a terminal to call rapid transit.

“Turians and krogan have better hearing ranges than humans. So yeah.”

Wrex watched her from his left eye. “You’re an entertaining one.”

“Thanks,” she said with a grin.

Garrus shifted next to her. “If it matters, I understand why the Lieutenant said what he did. I’m not offended.”

“Like he would stand a chance against just me anyway,” Wrex said, earning a glare from Garrus.

“You’d be surprised, Wrex. Humans may not have your perks, but we are determined and resilient to a larger degree than others expect,” Shepard replied.

When they arrived back outside of Chora’s Den, both of her companions paused. She turned to look at them.

“Too quiet,” Wrex answered her unspoken question. Well, she’d trust his judgment.

Shepard drew her pistol while the krogan pulled out a shotgun and Garrus brought up his assault rifle. “Wrex take my left. I want to see you using those biotics, especially since I didn't know krogan could even use the damn stuff. Garrus, go right. Keep them back.”

“Yes, Commander,” Garrus said, immediately getting into position next to her.

Wrex rolled his head around. “Let’s go.”

The raunchy gentleman’s club was void of customers, cleared out and restocked with Fist’s hired thugs. They looked armed similarly to the men at the clinic, but this time there were more. Cheap hires or not, more guns could mean more success.  
  
Shepard immediately went into cover behind the bar after taking down a man standing on the high platform above them. “We’re going to move right,” she said, knowing the two aliens would hear her.  
  
They ambushed fast and hard, three on at least a dozen. Guns peppered the air, shouts mingling with the noise.

As the circular room emptied itself, Shepard turned, grinning, to catch Wrex toss a guy with a biotic throw. When the krogan then head-butt him when he stood up, smashing the human’s head, her grin faded into shock. Having a krogan squad mate did have its perks, but they were bloody ones indeed.

Garrus raised his rifle, coming up next to her, mandibles moving in excitement.

They walked into the next room and were met with two armed men.

“They don’t look like his thugs,” Garrus commented. “Night workers.”

Shepard eyed them, her pistol drawn, and came to the same conclusion. “I’d find someplace else to work, if I were you,” she said to the workers.

They nodded, lowering their guns. One of them wiped his forehead with the back of his hand as they passed to leave. “Yeah. Fist doesn’t pay us enough anyway.”

“Should have just killed them. Would have been faster,” Wrex argued as they closed in on Fist’s private room.

Shepard looked at him sharply. “Finding ways to save lives is my business. If I've tried to help and they fight me anyway, or if they're shooting at _me_ , then fine. If not, then I can’t in good conscience kill people to get them out of my way. Never know what enemies you spawn in your wake.”

“Good conscience. Heh. Not all humans are like that. Not the mercs I know, anyway. Besides, all that crap does is tie you down.”

They moved into position and entered Fist’s room where he had prepared for them as two turrets rose up from hidden spots. Shepard jolted, her retort dying on her lips as she ducked behind a chair. “Turrets!” she shouted.

Wrex and Garrus ducked behind wall angles. Shepard quickly disabled one turret with her hacking and shot it, causing it to explode as Garrus overloaded the other one. Wrex shot at Fist as the human stood up and began to fire on them; Wrex’s shotgun shattered Fist’s shields, allowing Shepard to nail Fist in the leg with a pistol wound and bring him down.

Shepard stormed over to the panicked man, pistol aimed on his head in case of any last ditch attempts on Fist's part. Wrex and Garrus moved to her sides. “The quarian,” Shepard demanded. “Where is she?”

“Wanted me to get her in touch with the Shadow Broker himself. She didn't seem to get that _no one_ can do that. Doesn't matter,” Fist choked out. “She’s on her way to meet what she thinks is a Shadow Broker agent. She’s going to meet some assassins instead. Saren's people don't want her in the way.”

“Where?” Shepard shouted, as she realized time was of the utmost importance. The girl could _already_ be dead, and with her life, the evidence they needed, too.

“The back alley behind the markets. You’ve only got a few minutes.”

Shepard cursed and refocused the gun on him in her stress. “Is that all?”

“Yes, please don’t kill me!”  
  
“Now _that's_ what I'm here for,” Wrex muttered, gun raised.

Shepard gave an aggravated sigh, prepared to give the krogan a speech, but then jumped as Fist’s head was flung backward instead, bursting with a loud pop. Gore sprayed the floor and back wall. Wrex pumped his shotgun next to her, reloading, nonchalant and undisturbed.  
  
She eyed him with uncertainty.

Yeah, from the moment she'd seen him all he'd said was he was going to end Fist. But still. Jesus, it was scary, that level of impersonal goal, as if it had been an item off a grocery list to check.  
  
“This might sound ironic, but The Broker paid me to kill him,” Wrex explained with a shrug. “I don’t like leaving jobs unfinished. Just stupid, nothing personal.”

Shepard stood toe-to-toe with him nonetheless knowing time was of the essence. Not much was separating Wrex as the Shadow Broker's hired gun from the assassins Saren had recruited. “He gave us information. He cooperated.”

“So he got talkative at the end. He wasn't much good after that for ya.”

Wrex wasn’t going to budge.  
  
Shepard wasn't, either. But they didn't have the time to argue. “Fine. _This time_.”  
  
As they turned to leave, Shepard spotted a disk on the floor from where it was tossed while Fist had been scrambling for cover. She picked it up and pocketed it, thinking she would give something to Emily Wong after all.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER TWELVE: EVIDENCE**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Garrus watched Commander Shepard ahead of him speaking with Tali’Zorah, the quarian girl they'd managed to rescue just in time. He and Wrex hadn’t felt the need to exchange pleasantries the way humans did when they were around any other being—not even after the fire fight they'd just had to protect the quarian young woman from assassins. As they neared the human embassy, where they were to all meet with Anderson and Udina, Garrus’s mind was back in the med clinic still, listening to Commander Shepard ask him that question which had rooted him to the spot: _“Officer Vakarian, what were you thinking endangering her like that?”_

In truth he hadn’t been thinking anything beyond trying to get the thug away from Dr. Michel. It pained him to realize the human soldier had seen what he hadn’t and, without actual authority to do so, reprimanded him for it. And, worse, he'd actually felt sincerely chastised, too. He supposed that if she were more concentrated on getting things accomplished regardless of cost that she wouldn’t have cared at all—may have just commended him for the shot without delay, in fact—but the idea of Shepard not caring already seemed preposterous to consider. _Especially_ after the incident between the Commander and Wrex in Fist's office.

Garrus knew, as he reflected yet again over that conversation, that he needed some sort of guidance that could help him. His father certainly wasn’t the one he’d go to for it; after all, Atreyus had been the one to force him to give up Spectre training for himself, something he had _wanted_ to do. Yet here was Commander Shepard fighting for honor and doing what she could simply to gain _access_ to becoming a Spectre. He realized he hadn’t thought how much of a privilege it got to be for some who were so used to it, how much being part of the Council species opened doors for him even if his dad had shut them anyway.

They arrived in the human embassy and were immediately yelled at by a panicked, stressed, and overwhelmed Ambassador Udina. “Shepard, firefights in a gentlemen's club? Fighting mercs in alleys? What do you have to say for yourself!”  
  
“ _Assassins_ , Udina. Assassins.”  
  
He started to tear into the Commander for making him and herself look bad regardless, but Anderson intervened, something Garrus was grateful for; it felt like when one of his fellow officers would step in between he and Executor Pallin.

“Why is there a quarian with you?” Captain Anderson asked calmly.

“Because she has the evidence you need to prove Saren’s guilt,” Shepard said, her tone pinning Udina next to the Captain. Garrus felt himself grin behind her. "You're _welcome_."

They all listened as Tali explained her quarian Pilgrimage situation and how she’d been able to save some of the memory core of a geth she'd encountered before it had wiped and exploded itself. What she had found was remarkable: an actual audio recording of Saren mentioning Eden Prime and the beacon before his very recent court trial appearance where he'd claimed the information had come to him secondhand. It only got better because there were not one but _two_ voices, indicating Saren had further involvement than any of them had realized.

Garrus’s brow plates moved when he saw Shepard tense in front of him. “Commander?”

“Reapers. He called them Reapers,” she murmured. “Death bringers.”

Anderson heard her. “What is it, Shepard?”

“The beacon's vision...I think I saw the Reapers he’s talking about,” she explained. “That's the message I got from it. Utter destruction by something massive. Imagines of wires and flesh. Maybe some sort of sentient machines that wiped all life?”

Tali nodded next to her. “And that was 50,000 years ago. Could they be coming back?”

“Saren certainly seems to think so,” Anderson agreed. “And what is this Conduit he’s referring to?”

“No idea,” Shepard said. “But I think I can see how the geth would work under him now. What if Reapers are like gods to them or something?”

Udina tossed his hands up. “Whatever all of that nonsense is or isn’t _is not_ relevant right now. We have the proof to convict Saren, and that is what's important. We must meet with the Council immediately. Shepard, meet us there when we contact your omni-tool. I must set this up.”

Shepard turned to face Garrus, Wrex, and Tali as the two men left. She sighed. “I’ve got some errands to run. Tali, why don’t you relax here for a bit and double check any suit problems—we'll need you healed up for the trial. So get some rest and something to eat. Wrex, Garrus, if you don’t mind hanging a bit more until this gets resolved and we know what’s next, I wouldn’t mind an escort.”

“That means she doesn’t want to do it all by herself. She wants to drag _us_ along with her,” Wrex said lowly, chuckling at her.

Garrus found himself excited. He hadn’t wanted to leave her presence yet, not when he had questions and she had the only answers.

  
  


\-------------------------

  
  


The first stop was at the asari Consort’s chambers. Garrus tried to warn Shepard that she wouldn’t be seen so easily or fast, that there were people waiting on a list for months just for an appointment, but she dismissed his protests with a single glance of her green eyes. So, when he got to watch her reaction, he enjoyed it as the Consort’s greeting acolyte restated nearly everything he had said: Shepard’s brows furrowed, her eyes narrowed, and she let out a huff.

“Well, fuck,” she said. “Guess Oraka’s on his own.”

She moved past Garrus and Wrex. Garrus was the last to follow and was shocked by the acolyte grabbing him quickly. “Wait! Sha’ira wishes to see the Commander,” she said, panicked. Garrus called for Shepard to come back, both of them regarding the asari with disbelief when the acolyte repeated her words.

“Did she say why?” Shepard asked.

“No,” the asari said, sounding pressed for time. “Please come.”

Shepard nodded, and the trio followed the attendant past several other acolytes and clients toward the Consort’s chambers. Garrus shifted awkwardly behind Shepard as she walked up to Sha’ira to speak with her. The Consort was an attractive asari, sure, but beyond that it seemed mystery and allure was what crafted her image into something desirous. He had heard about a few of the guys on his department making appointments before—one definitely said he had sex, whether that was true or not no one knew, while another claimed she made all his stresses just vanish as if by magic with a massage. Regardless, he didn't fall into the expensive trap some of his coworkers had. He just didn’t see what the big deal was.

“Wait, so you’ve already spoken to him?” The Consort sounded surprised as Garrus tuned back into the conversation.

Shepard laughed a little. “Yeah. Saw him looking so despondent that I couldn’t pass by without asking if he was all right.”

“So Oraka...is regretting his actions.”

“Oh yeah. Can you forgive him?”

“Yes. In fact I’m relieved. Thank you, Commander. For that kindness and your time, allow me to give you a gift of words.” Garrus watched as Sha’ira took Shepard’s hands in hers. “You’ve seen things that most of your species will not understand or know. You’re strong, a survivor, even if at times you question that. There is inherent greatness in you, Commander. How you approach coming opportunities will change or further define that greatness into something formidable and something bigger than us all. I wish you luck.”

Shepard smiled, thanked her for her time and words, and then they left. Wrex trudged after Shepard, cracking the comment to Garrus that the asari should have ponied up on better goods than that. Some credits at the least. Garrus shook his head with a light laugh and followed Shepard back to Chora’s Den, which had been partially reopened. C-Sec worked fast once in a great while, and patrons of the place gave little care as to the mess and the officials cleaning it up, so long as they got their liquor and lap dances.

Garrus positioned himself on Shepard’s right side so he could see her sit and chat with the old turian, Oraka. She seemed to light up, to become much more animated when she spoke with him. He didn't listen to their voices, instead focusing on her body language. And there it was again—she was tilting her head correctly in gestures, even using her hands similarly and making strange expressions for a human. How the hell she knew how to do it, he didn't know, but it seemed intentional. _  
_ After a few minutes, Oraka handed her a datapad.

Garrus straightened as she stood to leave. He heard her tell Oraka to straighten up and act like a general. Stunned at her forwardness, he was more surprised to hear Oraka ask if she really thought it could be that easy. All Shepard could do was smile.

As she reunited with Wrex and Garrus, she explained the datapad. “Need to drop this off back with the one elcor in the embassies. It’ll clear some problems the poor guy’s been having.”

“Commander, if I may,” Garrus began to ask, but hesitated. Did he have room to ask questions of personal nature? Was she still a superior at the moment?

“Speak your mind, Vakarian, I can’t hear your thoughts.”

It snapped him back to the present. “Oh, sorry, Commander. I just wondered if you knew Oraka somehow.”

“Nope,” she answered. “Just reminds me of someone.”

They left her to drop off the datapad and then strolled the markets and financial district again so she could double check local merchants’ stocks and prices. In the lower markets, a salarian merchant was showing her different kinds of armor. After that, she dropped some disc off with a journalist, made another deal with the human woman, convinced a preachy hanar to get a proper public engagement license (causing immense relief to the turian officer handling the situation) and caught a salarian following a keeper.

That little incident turned itself into a heated discussion.

Shepard had forced Garrus to back down, but he had known as a C-Sec officer that he should have arrested the salarian on the spot; it was against Citadel law to mess with the keepers, let alone scan them with devices. Shepard simply looked up at him with that indecipherable expression and asked him to wait. The salarian trembled, fingers wringing nervously together, asking her if she would help him locate more keepers for data. Something about them made the salarian nervous. Something about how everyone on the Citadel took them for granted without understanding the creatures keeping the Citadel functional.

“Look, I’m not going to write you up. I can see that this is important. Sometimes things have to be done for a larger purpose. I _can’t help_ you do this, but I won’t report you,” she said, making sure the salarian understood.

He swallowed. Garrus felt torn between running both of them in and pitying the poor salarian. In the end he sighed, able to see someone else hating red tape the way he did. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t see this, Chorban. Just...don’t let anyone else catch you.”

“Thank you, Officer. I won’t say a word about this. We just...we only wanted to understand. We weren’t planning on making anything off of it.” The salarian then turned and thanked Shepard heartily before hurriedly running off.

“I don’t know if that was a good idea, Commander. I should have run him in for it,” Garrus said, voicing his thoughts. “What if that data makes it into the hands of some mercs to breach security?”

Wrex gave a chuffing sound. “If he's that stupid, he'll get squashed or arrested either way. Who cares?”

Shepard glanced to the red krogan, and then her green eyes settled upon Garrus, heavy somehow. “Sometimes, Garrus, when everyone else turns a blind eye to something important, the people who do the right thing should get the chance to do it and not suffer for doing so.”

Garrus stared at her, not breaking his gaze away like he would with a turian superior. She wasn't aggressive from the directness or reprimanding him for it, and that in itself was liberating. Still, he was curious. “Is this about you and the Council?” The moment the anger hit her face was when he knew he’d said it wrong. He knew she was mad by scent before he understood what the fire in her eyes meant. “I mean I’m not trying to insinuate that you’re getting back at them. I...I just mean that you see yourself in Chorban’s position, and uh.”

As quickly as her expression shifted, it relaxed. She nodded. “Thanks for clarifying.”

Garrus released a breath, tense still from the whole thing, but understanding better. Shepard’s omni-tool flashed over her right arm, catching the attention of all three of them. “Time to go.”  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN: SPECTRE**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Garrus watched with inward glee as the turian Councilor’s jaw dropped at the evidence successfully presented against Saren, who, interestingly enough, had been unavailable for further comment. The Councilors agreed that the recording was irrefutable evidence of Saren’s involvement and declared their aims to bring the rogue Spectre in for trial. Saren's resources were immediately cut off on their end.

Debate began to rage about how to go after Saren; after all, if the Council sent their own ships it could be considered as an act of war with the Terminus systems outside of Citadel space, where Saren was reported to be hiding. Commander Shepard stepped up at that moment, and with a very soft voice laced with firmness said, “Let me go after him.”

That sparked more debate that ended with what became a historical moment, both for the galaxy and humanity. Garrus stood back in awe as he watched Commander Shepard get inducted as the first human Spectre. She seemed to take it in stride, not gloating nor sneering. She just stated that she was honored, wanted leads, and that she would find him. The Spectre had a growing list of crimes, body counts, and even more mysterious ties to this beacon and its information.

Garrus believed the Councilors to be as surprised as he had been by her calm determination, but Garrus could smell her pheromones changing. She was angry, but she knew what to inflict it on. He had to respect that, especially knowing she could compete with some of the turian Hierarchy for appearances _._

When the Council dismissed them, Anderson happily gave his congratulations after such a difficult and long day. Udina forwent repeating Anderson's happy clap on her shoulder and simply said he would have to find her a ship, and fast; he forced Anderson to leave with him and make the arrangements.

Shepard looked between Garrus and Wrex, some awe of the history made finally cracking that veneer of military protocol. “I can’t believe that just happened. Days ago, I had no idea I was even a candidate being considered.”

“So you’re saying this is all a surprise, then?” Garrus asked. He couldn’t imagine that being thrust so suddenly on someone, and then that person being told to _prove_ their worth over it.

“Basically. But I wasn’t making nice with the Council and lying. When I say I’m going to go get Saren and bring him in, that is exactly what I’m going to do,” she said, determination flaring in her eyes.

Wrex nodded. “Count me in, Shepard.”

She seemed baffled by the merc's sudden choice. “Seriously?”

“Yeah.” The krogan shrugged. “Need off this station. Need another job. As a Spectre you should be able to pull it off, right?”

“Should. Okay then. Awesome.” The moment she looked to Garrus, he knew she was wondering if he would do the same thing.

Garrus found himself wanting to be on her ship more than anything. “I, uh...I’d like to see this through, if you don’t mind. It was my case, and I want to see him get nailed for the treasonous disgraces. I want to be part of the group doing it.”

“What about C-Sec?” She must have realized his concern.

“Yeah, about that...guess I’ll just put in a notice for now.”

Then she did something surprising. Shepard stepped up to him and placed a gloved hand on his left armored shoulder, a small weight that every part of his body felt. Her green eyes bore into him as she looked up. “Are you absolutely sure, Garrus?”

Spirits, those eyes were very green.  
  
“Yes.” He swallowed. “I want the opportunity to work with a Spectre, with someone who isn’t bound by all the red tape I am. I want to make Saren pay for dishonoring my people. And I want to get away from C-Sec for a while and learn some things.”

She smiled up at him, revealing her strange human teeth. “Great! Welcome aboard, both of you! Well, as soon as I've got my ship anyway. Why don’t you two go finish off whatever loose ends you have here and meet me at the docking bay elevator. I have to stop by the requisition office near there, and we can finalize plans with Udina. I'm gonna go see if I can get that quarian girl on board. Having someone with geth knowledge would be a boon. I'll get info from you guys later so we can get Council pay for everyone.”

Wrex and Garrus both nodded and walked off together. The krogan eyed him keenly. “You seem nervous, turian.”

“Excited. Worried about being on a human ship.”

“Ah. Yeah, I bet you would be. Still, she seems to be honorable,” Wrex muttered. “Doubt you’ll be anyone’s dinner.”

Garrus laughed. “Yeah, well I’m dextro, so they’d have a hell of a stomachache anyway.”

  
  


\-------------------------  
  
  


He spent the next few hours getting affairs in order. First, Garrus spoke with the business that owned the apartment he leased on the Citadel; it worked in junction with C-Sec, and so all of the officers typically lived very close together because of it. He explained that he was being asked to aid the newest Spectre on her classified mission, and that he was on his way to file with C-Sec for temporary relief of duty. After debating with the salarian in charge of his block of apartments, Garrus agreed to continue paying rent while he was gone. He didn’t think it would be too far along before he would return, so he also ordered for bi-monthly cleaning services to continue. If anything changed plans, he could notify his family about the situation.

From there, Garrus made his way to Executor Pallin’s office. Though nervous, Garrus knew he would have to resist the urge to tell Pallin just how right he _had_ been. He gave himself a small pep talk and entered the Executor’s office, his jaw dropping at what he saw.

There, in front of him, was Commander Shepard arguing his case.

“Look, Executor, Officer Vakarian has been a huge help in bringing evidence to light. Though I understand he can be hotheaded occasionally, I admire his instincts and actions. I hope that by allowing him to work with me to see this mission through that he will learn more and be able to balance things with C-Sec.” Shepard paused and angled her head to look at Pallin. “Besides,” she continued, “I know what it’s like to be taken away from something you’ve worked hard for and want to see through.”

Garrus didn’t move. They hadn’t noticed his entrance yet.

Pallin sighed, moving into an agitated position in his chair. “Commander, I see your points, but Garrus must also consider his other involvements with C-Sec. I can’t pay him on leave of absence unless it’s for health reasons.”

“I’ll take care of that and see he is paid for aiding me on my mission,” Shepard said without question. “All I ask is that you grant him this chance. He deserves it.”

“Well,” Pallin began and then looked toward where Garrus was standing by the open door. He stood. “Vakarian.”

“Executor Pallin.” Garrus returned the greeting, his eyes refocusing on Shepard. She smiled at him behind Pallin’s back.

Pallin indicated for Garrus to come forward, which he did, taking a triangular position between the Executor and human Spectre. “I’ve come to ask for temporary relief of duty, but I see that is already being debated.”

“It’s not being debated,” Shepard said, her voice strong.

Pallin jerked around, eyes cold on her and subharmonics condescending. “Commander.”

She moved to stand next to Garrus. “Executor, Officer Vakarian _is_ coming on the _Normandy_. He will be taken care of and returned to you when the mission is deemed successful. He will not receive reprimands or actions against him for this decision by any C-Sec employee, regardless of rank.”

“Commander Shepard, you can’t just make that decision,” Pallin said in a near growl.

Garrus could feel the anger simmering around her next to him. And then she smiled. Terrifyingly. “I authorize this decision as a Council Spectre, Executor. I can and have just made this decision. I only came to you out of respect for Garrus and the chain-of-command, but I could see you were not going to grant me the decision as easily as I had hoped. My apologies.”

The look on the Executor’s face was priceless. His mandibles were slack, eyes wide as possible for a turian. He sat after a moment and ran a hand over his face. “Very well. I will process your paperwork, Vakarian, and message you anything for your part. You’re free of C-Sec active duty until further notice.”

“Thank you, Executor. I will make the best of this opportunity,” Garrus said, trying to appease the injured pride of the turian. He knew Pallin hated Spectres for being able to make their own rules and change parameters to their morals...and Shepard had just done it in his face.

After the door to the office shut behind them, Garrus let himself laugh a little. “Wow, Commander. I’m, uh, a little intimidated.”

“Why?” She seemed genuinely confused.

He gave her a turian smile. “Well, you managed to make the big ego of Pallin disappear for a few moments. Imagine what you could do to someone like me.”

“Pallin’s not a bad person. He’s just happy in his position,” Shepard commented, motioning with her fingers for him to follow her.

Garrus moved ahead of her, blocking her path to exit the embassies. She raised a brow. “Commander, I just wanted to...to thank you.”

She didn’t say anything, just uncrossed her arms and watched him.

Garrus swallowed, sincerity showing in his expression. “I’ve never had anyone stand up for me like that. I appreciate it, and I meant what I told him—I will make the best of this opportunity. You can rely on me.”

Shepard smiled. “That’s all I’m asking, Garrus. Go get your things.”

“Will do. Thanks again, Commander.”  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN: SETTLING IN**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
After the Captain had willingly and _graciously_ stepped away from his ship, deeming it the only one to get her particular job done in the Terminus systems safely, Shepard had made it abundantly clear to the human crew on the _SSV Normandy_ , now under her command as both their Alliance Commander and a Council Spectre, that the aliens coming on board were allies and were to be treated as such. If any disrespect occurred, she explained that she would handle the incident and see it as a personal matter and direct disrespect to her. For a few moments her gaze settled on Pressley and Williams, making sure they understood her position.

Following her speech, she brought the new krogan, turian, and quarian allies aboard. Joker took a moment to gaze over each of them, giving an introductory joke as he did so. That was until Wrex looked down at the pilot; the krogan had him spinning right back around in his chair, mumbling about the “big dangerous bat-lizards.” Shepard had grinned as Wrex gave her a chuckle in response.

She took them down to the mess, showed them the medbay and Dr. Chakwas; the doctor made sure each of them knew she was capable of handing injuries they could receive and was stocked for blood transfusions. When they hit the cargo area, Shepard let Tali wander off into engineering to meet the engineers and find a place she could work. Wrex moved to stand over by his locker as he packed away things.

Before Garrus could decide on what to do, Shepard grabbed his left shoulder and pushed him toward the Mako. He looked at her, his nerves still jumpy from the very quiet greeting he had received coming aboard the human vessel.

Shepard smiled at him reassuringly as she let go of his shoulder. “Garrus, I read through your files and saw that you’re good with calibrating weapons and vehicles of the Mako’s class. I’m putting you in charge of repairs and maintenance while in between active duty on missions. Any human crew member who has a problem with that can’t do this job anyway or have too many duties for it be efficient.”

The turian simply stared at her, but she could sense his relief. Finally, he spoke. “Thank you, Commander. I appreciate that. I’ll make sure the Mako is in top shape.”

“I expect it to be, Garrus.” She shifted a little before deciding to reveal her surprise now. “Listen, I’ve upgraded everyone’s armor. Just check your lockers.”

Garrus’s brow plates shifted in surprise. “Really?”

“Yes. Everyone is going to need some biotic protection, and half of the squad didn’t have armor compatible with it.”

“Good point. Thanks!”

“I also read in your file that you specialize with assault rifles, but are a...hell of a sniper. I absolutely love my sniper rifle. I’d be lost without it. I know you weren’t given one in req. for C-Sec, so I’ve ordered one for you. The next time we visit the Citadel for supplies, it should be in for pick up,” she said with a small smile.

“Commander....” He looked at her, speechless.

Shepard merely gave him a respectful turian nod and reminded him that dextro rations for he and Tali had been secured. She didn’t promise it would taste fantastic; after all, her own rations sucked. But he wouldn’t starve. Then she left him, mandibles fluttering, to speak with everyone else.

  
  
\-------------------------  
  
  


_Athena,_

_I am so proud of you! I am currently on leave back in Vancouver, and everyone has been watching the vids of you being inducted. People clap me on the shoulder when they should do that to you. You’ve earned this, Athena. Don’t try to say you haven’t._

_Rumors are spreading through the chains that you’ve assembled a mixed crew of humans and aliens on the_ Normandy _. I don’t doubt that; it’s something I could easily see you doing, and I’m proud of you for it. Screw what some brass think. They’re prejudiced. Anyone with a brain can see that the_ Normandy _’s superior design is proof that working with aliens is possible and can bring good things. Tell me about your crew when you get a chance._

_Stay safe, Spectre. Mother’s orders._

_Love,_

_Mom_

  
  


\-------------------------

  
  


_Mom,_

_Did you know about it at all? I mean...I had no idea this was coming. Please tell me you weren’t aware, too._

_Well, the crew is an interesting bunch. I guess I’ll start with the humans, since they were aboard first. There’s LT Kaidan Alenko: Seems like a great guy, but has issues often with his L2 implants for his biotics. Good thing Dr. Chakwas knows how to handle the headaches; just glad I’m not a biotic. Hoping he’s not developing a crush on me. I just get this feeling when we speak that he’s fishing for something—not in a rude way, but curious. He’ll be disappointed, though. I learned that lesson back at the Academy.  
Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams is a recruit from Eden Prime. She lost her squad there. I think you can figure out why she’s still aboard. She’s got a good spirit, but she struggles with xenophobia, particularly toward turians. Hopefully I’ll be able to bring her around. Navigator Pressley’s got similar issues, though he is very kind. Out of the entire bunch of humans, aside from Chakwas that is (so glad you’ve met her before), Joker has to be my fave. He’s our pilot and a damn good one, too. ‘Bout took my head off when I tried to make conversation; apparently he has Vrolik syndrome, or brittle bone disease, and must have figured I’d want him off the _Normandy _when I found out. Of course I didn’t, and he finally calmed the hell down, tossing out a joke to cover his fear. I think I’m going to start engaging him more, Mom. It’s probably lonely up in the cockpit._

_As for the aliens, well, I went all out! We’ve got a turian, quarian, and krogan aboard. Just missing a salarian, and I’m going to be on my way to pick up an asari shortly. That last part is not a joke, though the salarian bit is; Wrex would probably lose it if I allowed one on the crew. I’m a bit in shock, to be honest, you know what ship life is like—it’s so tight and compact that we’re bound to run into each other often. Still, I’m discovering that they might be the most interesting people around.  
The quarian, Tali, she has fascinating information about her people. I feel bad for her, though; her dad doesn’t seem very affectionate towards her, and he is serving in their government. She is so damn curious and sweet. I like her a lot, even if I have to rely sometimes on voice inflections and her glowing eyes blinking behind her helmet._

_Wrex is the krogan. Honestly, if it weren’t for those regeneration powers, I don’t think he’d still be going. His scars are simply impressive. He’s opening up to me slowly. It’s killing me, wanting to know about those cuts and the bullet mark on his forehead, but I’m taking what I can get. He has got to have some interesting stories. He left Tuchanka some time ago and has been doing mercenary work since. Maybe this mission is a way to get out of that cycle._

_I saved the turian for last. His name is Garrus; he’s currently on leave from C-Sec to aid me in the mission. Seems he was the one helping our case in C-Sec and was shot down just as we were. Hopefully his time here will make him feel useful and let him see his real talents. I think that place smothers him, Mom. I remember back in training days with the Academy how Sergeant Ackerman used to say he could see potential in people. I’m not sure I share that gift, but I definitely see it in Garrus. I’ve wondered lately if he should have been a Spectre instead of me. Maybe after all this he’ll go for it. I hope so. I think I surprise him, to be honest. He’s still not asked me what I know he wants to—how I know turian greetings and whatnot. He’ll come around, the cute bastard. Honestly, I might steal his visor. Seriously, it’s a sniper’s dream. It’s funny; in a way he reminds me of Caios, though they look nothing alike. Something about the random moments of gentleness between assertiveness. Garrus has silvery white plating with these really cool blue clan markings. I don’t think I’ve seen any like it before._

_We’ve done test runs on the new Mako recently; looking for this asari, Dr. T’Soni, the daughter of the asari on our evidence, has been a huge pain. I’ve just been given a lead in the Artemus Tau cluster, and I have four systems to work through to find her. My gut says we’re getting close though. Tali, Wrex, and Kaidan have been accompanying me lately, but I’m going to take Ashley and Garrus on this next one. Joker and I are both pegging Therum to be the asari’s hiding place. I believe it’s got a large Prothean dig site.She's an archaeologist specializing in Prothean artifacts, so it would make sense. Plus, Ashley working with Garrus may help her get over fears and get tension out of Garrus’s system. It's rough with the Gunnery Chief understandably distrusting Garrus working on the Alliance equipment, but she has to admit what a boon it is to have the help and expertise. I’ve been purposefully putting off taking him out because he seems to be struggling the most with being on a human ship. I can’t blame him, Mom, but I’ve done all I can to make sure the crew understands the stances and attitudes that must be exhibited toward our allies on the ship._

_Will let you know how this goes. Wish us luck._

_Love,_

_A.  
_  
  


* * *


	2. Part 2: Chapters 15-38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fic Series from 2014-15, additional writing for gaps like Vol 2.5 (originally unplanned) from 2016-18.  
> Mass Effect owned by Bioware, EA.  
> Thanks for letting us play our own stories in your world.

* * *

**  
CHAPTER FIFTEEN: THERUM**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“Spirits, Shepard, the way you handle this thing, I’m going to be busy,” Garrus croaked out as he held on tightly to straps in the Mako. Shepard angled the vehicle over what felt like yet another miniature mountain and hit the lift, floating and bouncing hard onto the planet’s surface.

She laughed next to him while Ashley smirked. “Yeah, I’m counting on you!”

Garrus tried to quell the instinctual worry in him and forced his nerves to still. Don’t think about being trapped in this crunched hellhole with a turian-hating human woman and this almost turian commander, he thought. Just don’t. You’re back on the Citadel, and oh look there’s that young female from back home.  
  
His grip tightened on the strap to keep him steady as Shepard bounced hard down the side of a huge cliff and landed.

“C’mon, turian. I thought you guys were all about the bravado,” Ashley spoke up next to him, her voice echoing in his audio.

He fought the urge to growl, frustrated, before he realized it might have been a joke and not a racist thing. Just as he was about to fire off a retort, Shepard’s voice rang out, “Like Alliance members aren’t?”

Garrus’s subharmonics rang out thankfully after her and then changed to panic as they all looked out from the screens. “Is that...lava?”

“Looks like it. Palaven’s hot though, right? You’ll be fine, Vakarian.” Shepard’s reassurance made him pause.

“Well, technically it’s hot because of the radiation and whatnot with the sun in our system. That’s why we’ve got plating; it protects and reflects a lot of harmful stuff,” he explained. “But if you’re asking whether I’d prefer lava to snow, then yes. I can take the heat.”

“Good. Now we’ve got a rather...uh...tricky path to navigate ahead. Don’t sweat it,” Shepard continued, turning to look at him and Ashley before focusing back on driving.

Garrus watched slightly over her shoulder on the screens, his eyes catching the thin weaving path of rock between great vats of lava. Shepard successfully navigated around a few loops of the path, earning Garrus’s trust more. He sat back in his seat as he relaxed a little, and the motion got him a look from Ashley through her visor.

Then Shepard groaned the one word they all hated to hear: “Geth!” The Mako shook as two armatures were dropped up ahead by a now familiar geth ship. Enough searching for this asari doctor had gotten them familiar with the odd insect-like designs.

“Garrus, get on the guns. Ash, get hatches prepped in case we have to make a jump for it. I’ll maneuver us as best as possible to avoid the shield hits!” Shepard barked out her orders and immediately hopped the Mako as a blue-white burst of energy flew their way.  
  
Garrus fixed himself into the mounted turret and began firing on the armatures as Ashley moved beneath him, securing an escape route if the Mako couldn’t back out. He kept the heat on the armatures as best as he could while Shepard moved the Mako; she jumped it in several directions, sometimes rolling backward or forward quickly to avoid another shot from the geth machines.

“Christ, these fuckers are annoying!” she shouted over the roar of the guns.

Just as Garrus’s visor was adjusting to the lowered shield strength of the armature he had focused fire on, the damn thing exploded, jolting the Mako in its wake. “What was that?”

“Rockets! They’ve upgraded them! Great calibrating on this thing, Garrus!”

The glee in Shepard’s voice had him smiling under his helmet, even as the remaining armature continued to open fire on them, switching from a turret to the shield shock. Together, Garrus and Shepard took down the last armature. He sank back down into his seat, smile hidden safely away while Ashley secured the Mako again. Shepard swung her head around and lifted her thumb up, wrapping her other four fingers underneath it. “Nice shooting, Garrus!”

Perplexed, he asked her what she was doing with her hand. Ashley managed to snort next to him in an non-condescending manner as she explained what a “thumbs-up” was in human body language. As the Mako rolled forward, Shepard made sure its wheels crushed over top of the two dead geth.

  
  


\-------------------------  
  
  


He couldn’t believe the amount of geth they’d encountered, all likely at Saren's orders. If the asari wasn’t here, then she was long gone, dead, or in another cluster. Still, she just had to be here if the synthetics had shown up in such force. Garrus reloaded his rifle, nodding to Ashley as she popped up next to him in cover to take down a few more of the machines to buy him time.

The now familiar loud boom of Shepard’s sniper rifle sounded over them, and Garrus saw a geth rocket trooper fall up ahead. It made him yearn for his own more. She hadn’t mentioned what model she’d bought him, so he was really curious. They progressed further along the path, finally reaching close to the dig site.

That’s when they saw the geth ghosts, troopers, and the damned Colossus.

“Well fuck me,” Shepard grunted over the comm, running quick into cover behind a very tall crate and making Garrus's brows pop up in surprise at the blatant phrase. “The turrets at the checkpoint earlier were one thing, but a _Colossus_?”

Garrus and Ashley ran to stand on her left; between his overloads, sabotaging, and rifle, he managed to take down two ghosts alone. As he moved to reload, he felt the crate shift toward them slightly from the Colossus’s energy hit. Ashley took out another ghost that had managed to take a shot at his helmet from above, knocking him backward and stunning him momentarily.

“Keep the pressure up! Ashley, keep shooting! I want the remaining troopers gone so the real threat can be dealt with. Garrus, I’ve got an idea about this big bastard.”  
  
He swapped spots with Ashley, letting the human draw the remaining two troopers’ fire away from him as he bent next to Shepard’s armored form. “Commander?”

“Timing, Garrus! Overload the shields. I’ll follow up with sabotage and some pistol rounds while you fire with the rifle. The moment your visor picks up the shields restoring, we get back into cover. Understood?”

“Yes, Shepard!”

Garrus waited for her signal then overloaded the huge Colossus’s shield. Shepard’s immediate sabotage caused it to freeze up momentarily, during which time both of them unloaded rounds into it. Shepard was still shooting when Garrus’s visor picked up the rapidly rising energy levels, and he barely grabbed her back into cover before a huge blue blast shot past them.

“Shit, that was close,” she shouted.

“Tell me about it!”

Once Ashley had finished the other troopers, she moved up into another patch of cover. The trio utilized Shepard’s strategy again, this time with more firepower and distraction; together, the squad was able to bring the Colossus down in a few minutes.

As the ground rocked lightly from the geth’s explosion, Shepard released an audible exhalation over Garrus’s audio. “Christ, I hate these things.”

“You and me both, Commander,” Ashley echoed as she rejoined them.

Shepard gave a nod to move toward the dig site’s entrance, letting Ashley step ahead for a moment. Garrus turned to look at the Commander, curious. She put a fist to her chest, recoiling her two middle fingers to tap her top finger, bottom finger and short thumb digit, bumping them against her chest twice in a makeshift turian comrade salute, and then continued on.

“Commander?” he asked, surprised at her gesture. It was respect he hadn’t expected.

“After all of that, it’s fun just trying to picture you in C-Sec,” she joked.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN: GETTING LIARA**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Just how in the hell had she managed to get stuck like that?  
  
Shepard’s inner voice screamed as she watched the asari float in the trapped biotic bubble inside of the Prothean site. They'd shot their way through some geth inside to find her, but this was _not_ the reception Shepard had expected to have. Instead of a simple set of introductions and rescue, now they had to free the asari from what Shepard assumed had to be an activated safety mechanism in the ruins.  
  
Shepard and Garrus both eyeballed the stasis bubble. A console was near the asari, but untouchable by her. “How do we get you out of there, Doctor?”

“You’ll have to find a way around the back somehow, I’m afraid!” The young asari couldn’t even struggle in the odd stasis field. “Then you can use the console to undo the security protocol I triggered.”

“Hey, Commander, what about that mining laser over there?” Ashley jerked her thumb toward the machine behind them.

Shepard’s eye followed her. “Perfect. The Council will kill me, but perfect.” Garrus and Ashley followed her over to the laser, watching her as she fuddled with the laser’s controls. After a few seconds she gave out a triumphant _aha!_

The trio watched the laser cut a path around the ground below where the asari was trapped; the ground shuddered and broke, revealing a lower level access.  
  
“Williams, I owe you my sweets ration,” Shepard quipped as they moved toward the gaping hole.

She hopped down, looking around and giving a hand signal for her squad mates to follow. They stepped through the strangely curved open area onto what appeared to be an elevator. Shepard messed with the controls, and it lifted up, stopping on the floor behind where Dr. T’soni was trapped.

“Quickly, the console just over there should have a way to release me!”

Shepard nodded behind the floating asari’s back and moved to the console on the left. A holo keyboard opened, similar in shape and format to current era styles, but very Prothean all the same. Shepard eyed it, unsure for a moment, but then pressed a glowing set of buttons, a small prayer in her head that it would undo the stasis field and not blow them sky high.

When Dr. T’soni fell with a thud to the floor, Shepard let out a relieved exhale. She strode over to the asari and bent to help her to her feet. “I’m Commander Shepard, with the Alliance and Council Spectres. We need to get you back on my ship and talk. It’s...extremely important. It partly concerns your mother.”

“Is everything...? Is something wrong?”  
  
“It's nothing good, unfortunately, Doctor.”  
  
“I...see. Please, call me Liara,” Liara said as they moved back toward the elevator area. “Do you know why these geth are here?”

“Yeah. An ex-Spectre named Saren sent them. He wants your Prothean expertise for a beacon he's found and used, just as I have. And somehow we think your mother is involved. At the least, we've heard her voice in recorded audio with Saren discussing his actions.” Shepard tried to smile reassuringly beneath her helmet. “It'll be all right, Liara. We’ll get out of here in a minute. You okay?”

“Fine, thank you, Commander. I...it's just a lot to process at the moment.”  
  
“I feel you.”

“Hey! Hand over the asari, human,” a deep voice growled out to their right.

Shepard spun around, pistol drawn. Garrus and Ashley had already come up to flank her with weapons pinning the krogan warlord and his troop of geth in their places.

The krogan rolled his head around. “Hurry up. Saren wants her alive.”

“Fuck you,” Shepard spat out. “She’s not going anywhere near Saren.”

“Then we’ll take her either way,” he retorted. “Live or die, it doesn't matter to me.”

The ground shook beneath her feet, causing Shepard to swallow in concentration on the situation. After the second tremor, Garrus moved closer to her. “Commander, I think the force of that mining laser triggered something. The damn planet's already full of volcanic activity. We need to get out of here!”

“Coward turians run from battle,” the warlord bellowed.

Shepard’s head snapped angrily in his direction. “If you can’t tell, the place is about to come down _around_ us!”

The krogan chuckled darkly, clearly not afraid of the next earthquake in the volcanic conditions. “A good fight it is then.”

Shepard violently shoved Liara behind her and the main console, trying to give the asari cover. Garrus moved to her right, darting behind a box of crates and popping out to overload a geth trooper. Ashley exploded the head of a geth sniper with her assault rifle.

“Get the remaining geth! I’ve got this idiot,” Shepard growled out, pistol aimed at the krogan as he moved toward her.

“Puny human. You couldn’t take me alone if you tried!” As he moved to unload his shotgun into her chest, Shepard’s omni-tool flashed; orange light crackled around the gun and he roared out as it refused to fire. “Fine, human! I’ll take you with my bare hands!”  
  
Shepard darted out of his way as he began to charge her, bloodlust obviously overcoming him. The sight made her wish Wrex were present to charge, too. She spun and fired a few shots with her hammerhead rounds at the krogan’s back while he moved to charge her again.

Realizing he had backed her against the curved wall of the shaft, she waited a few seconds longer, chancing fate, before taking a fast breath and rolling sharply to her right. She smiled as she rolled again, farther away, and heard the krogan’s head smash sickeningly loud against the wall. Immediately on her feet, she trained her pistol on the warlord as he shook his head and looked for her.

“You think you are clever, human!”

The tremors vibrated even harder now, consistently shaking the walls around them. Chunks of dirt and stone began to fall above them in spurts. Shepard fired several rounds at the krogan’s head, penetrating his shields. “Ash, Garrus, unload on him! We’ve got to keep him from regenerating so we can get the fuck out of here!”

Ashley kept damage up with her rifle as Garrus quickly unleashed a dampening move, momentarily rendering the krogan’s biotics useless. Shepard continued to fire at him as he ran for her head on. She refused to move, to prove that once again she wasn’t afraid. He’s not the maw, Athena, she reminded herself. He’s not the maw. This wasn’t Akuze. She wasn't alone.

"Commander!” Garrus’s voice rang out, his worry evident in her audio. She continued firing as did Ashley and Garrus, and just before the krogan would have charged into her, Shepard discharged a surprising round of neural shock tech. The warlord slammed into the ground, beginning to groan as his body started the regenerating process.

Shepard fired a single shot into a softer side of his large head, killing him, before running toward an exit. “Come on! Let’s move! Go, go!” She shoved Liara, Ashley and Garrus in front of her, fleeing along behind them as they made their way up a few ramps near the mining entrance. Large rocks had begun to fall overhead, crumbling down as the ruins shook to their core.

Liara and Ashley were the first out of the Prothean dig site, tripping in their run down the steps and rolling partway to the ground. Shepard was just about to exit behind Garrus when a large boulder landed next to them; its momentum threw her backwards away from the exit and nearly back down the last ramp she had passed. More rocks fell on top of her.

“Shepard!” Garrus shouted ahead of her.

She tried to get up, but her leg was trapped beneath another heavy rock. _Fuck, fuck, fuck!_ “Shepard to _Normandy_ , Joker where are you?”  
  
“In atmosphere, Commander. Picking up readings of energy levels rising near your area!”

“Joker, get here to the dig site _now!_ Pick up the team! The dig site is about to go up.”

“Shepard, the place is going to blow! It’ll be at least five to eight minutes ETA.”

“If anyone can do it, you can. Now that’s an order!” Shepard looked back down her leg and tried to use her other free foot to kick at the large rock.

“Commander! Where the hell are you?”

Shepard blinked in mild shock that the turian was still inside. “Garrus, go! Leave!”

She bent down and with the combined effort of her arms and free leg finally knocked the rock off, wincing as it rolled down her shattered ankle and foot. Shepard flipped onto her belly, moving to push herself up on her knees so she could crawl. Medigel flooded into her suit, dulling some of the excruciating pain and allowing her to think. Garrus’s booted feet appeared in her line of vision. “Damn it, Vakarian, I told you to get out! The place is coming down, and Joker’s meeting outside for rendezvous!”

“I’m not leaving you behind, Commander,” the turian firmly said.

Shepard felt strong arms grab her waist and haul her to her feet. Not realizing she’d shattered her right ankle and foot, Garrus jolted when he heard her groan loudly as her weight pressed onto it. Together they hobbled out through the exit.

The _Normandy_ was looming close overhead, coming down for pick up. Shepard sighed in relief; she would willingly put up with anything that pilot had to say for his quick reactions to her command. She tried to limp down the ramp, breaking from Garrus’s supportive hold, but fell, causing her to roll and slam down hard onto the bad ankle.

“Ugh!” She cried out, trying to breathe and battle the pain as it shot through her leg and back. Shepard ground her teeth and moved to pull herself up with the ramp’s railing, but Garrus had closed the distance with her.

He growled low in her comm, the sound an angry bouncing vibration. “What the hell are you thinking, Commander? Just let me help you!”

Realizing that there would be time to bicker later over insubordination, she gave in. “Fine, get me out of here.”

The ground shook hard beneath them as Liara boarded the _Normandy_. Ashley had gone for the Mako, driving it up the cargo ramp quickly amidst the sound of explosions. Garrus lifted Shepard into his arms, his hands finding supportive places against her upper back and under her knees, and ran up the ramp, carrying her close to his armored chest. She had to look at the humor in her very private new turian crush being the one to rescue her and run her onto the ship, bridal style. Ah, but she could dream.

“We’re on board! Go, Joker!”

The ramp lifted and closed, hissing as it sealed, and then everyone in the cargo bay felt the _Normandy_ ’s drive core kick in as it left the dig site behind.

Shepard sighed, relieved, but woozy and in pain. She looked up through her helmet’s visor into Garrus’s helmet, barely able to make out the bright blue eyes it hid. Even so, Shepard felt a strange pulse shoot through to her gut as she realized there was worry written all over those eyes—worry for her.

“Commander!” Ashley had gotten out of the Mako and run over to their side, her helmet slung under her arm.

“Rock landed on my ankle back in the dig site. Crushed it bad,” Shepard said, wincing in Garrus’s hold. She needed to be back in control. “Put me down, Garrus.”

“You need taken up to the medbay, Commander. Just let me carry you. When I put you down earlier, you almost collapsed and then you actually fell down the ramp!” Vibrations in his voice filtered through Shepard’s comm that her omni-tool’s translator chip couldn’t define.

“Then let me lean on you, please,” Shepard said, gritting against the throbbing pain.

Garrus sighed but lowered her gently, ducking an arm under her right shoulder to lift her slightly. “Got it?”

“Yeah,” Shepard grunted, angry at her ankle. “Ashley, go tell the doc I’ve shattered my ankle and foot.”

Ashley saluted her and ran ahead to the elevator.

“Easy, Commander,” Garrus murmured as she faltered a little in the next hop.

She grimaced. “I can do this on my own, Garrus. It’s fine.”

“If I let you go, you’ll fall to the floor. I don’t doubt your prowess, Shepard. I just saw you shoot a krogan warlord in the face as he charged you head on.” Garrus shifted, letting her hop forward a little as he took the next step.

Liara strode over to them, wringing her hands together. “Commander, I’m so sorry you were injured. Is there anything I can do?”

“Got a doctor upstairs prepping for me. Thanks, though.” Shepard gave the concerned asari a curt nod.

After another few minutes of painfully slow hopping, they made it into the elevator. Shepard leaned back against the wall, sighing loudly. Once it made it up a level, Garrus leaned more of his weight under her and quickly walked into the medbay, not letting the small, stubborn human commander’s feet touch the floor. Ashley and Kaidan were already there with Dr. Chakwas.

“Bring her here,” Chakwas gestured.

Shepard bent her knees a little, allowing Garrus to partially lift her onto the bed. Once she was settled, the turian stepped back, unsnapping his helmet from his suit. Shepard mimicked his movements while Chakwas started undoing the armor of her right leg and boot. “Williams if you’ll help her get her chest piece off,” Chakwas said with a nod of her head.

Ashley immediately helped Shepard remove more of her armor; she was glad to be rid of the stickiness the medigel had left behind inside of it. Shepard paused when her right foot was free and in view. The sight of it made her nauseous. Her foot was smashed to hell, the skin ripped and torn in some spots and black and blue in others. The worst part was her ankle itself; the bone had shoved outward, through the skin in parts, nastily broken.

“Christ, Commander!” Kaidan’s voice echoed in the small medbay.

Shepard tore her eyes away from the sight and looked up to see Garrus’s shocked face eyeing her injury. She had to calm them all down, not just herself. “It’s just a bad injury, but it looks worse than it probably is. Give me treatment, I’ll be fine.”

“I need to perform minor surgery, Commander. The ankle bone needs reset,” Chakwas said. But she _hadn't_ disagreed, and that was keeping her hopeful.

“Do it.”

The doctor stood, eyeing the three crew members. “I’ve got this. Just go on out.”

“Joker, tell the Council I’ll report to them as soon as my ankle surgery is done,” Shepard said.

“Roger, Commander. Is it gory?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Nice!”

Garrus’s growl caused everyone to turn to him slowly. “What the hell is _nice_ about this? She’s lucky the rock that pinned her originally wasn’t any bigger. She might have lost a leg from it, or worse, we may not have been able to get her out in time before the damn place went down.”

“I’m all right, Garrus. Thank you for helping me. Now all three of you, get out. I’d rather no one else see me drool when I’m passed out from drugs,” Shepard ordered, voice stern.

“Aye aye,” Ashley said at the commanding tone, saluting before she strolled into the mess.

Kaidan eyed Garrus, a brow rising, before coming to Shepard’s side. She looked at him expectantly, unsure of what he wanted. “Listen, Commander, let me know if you need _anything_.”

“Okay, Kaidan.”

He nodded and left, following Ashley. Garrus leaned forward from his previous position of being slumped against the wall. He bent down, one blue eye fixing on her face as he gave her a sideways glance. “You’re absolutely sure you’ll be fine?”

“Yes. I appreciate the concern, Garrus.”

“All right, Commander. See you on the other side.” Garrus rose and walked out without looking back behind him.

Shepard sighed and laid onto the bed, holding her arm out for Chakwas to get an IV into her.

“Breathe in deep, Commander, and count backwards from ten,” Chakwas said, holding a small breathing apparatus over Shepard’s nose. “You'll want to be unconscious for the start of the cleaning process.”

Shepard, relieved, was able to count to seven before everything went black.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: LIARA AND THE TRUTH**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“How’s the ankle?” Tali cheerfully asked a conscious, but drowsy Shepard. She'd quickly grown to adore the quarian girl and often spoke with her on the ship. Chatting with Tali was like ship talk back in special classes she'd had. It served as a good light diversion from the heavy tasks upon her head.

Shepard glanced down to the wounded body part with a tilt of her head. “Not sure. Doc’s got it bandaged up tight. Going to assume all is well.”

“No walking on it for the rest of the day, Commander,” Chakwas called off to her right side. “Medicine may be advanced now, but healing still takes its own time.”

Shepard nodded and waved her off. “Oh, fine.” She turned to smile at Tali. “How’s our asari doing?”

“Well, I think. She seemed upset about your injury, though,” Tali explained, gesturing her small three-fingered hands. ”She’s residing in the back room of the medbay.”

“Okay. Call her in here, will you? I’d like to speak with her.”

Tali hopped off the bed next to her and after a few moments returned to Shepard’s vision range with Liara. The asari’s large eyes darted everywhere until they remained pinned to Shepard’s injury. Shepard sighed. “I’ll finish catching up with you later, Tali. Thanks for coming by.”

“No problem, Commander,” Tali offered, a smile in her tone, before exiting.

“Sit, Dr. T’soni,” Shepard said, gesturing to the bed next to her.

Liara obeyed, angling her blue face. “Commander, I just wanted to thank you again. If you hadn’t come when you had....”

“Don’t dwell on it, Liara. You’ve got nothing to feel worried or bad about in that regard, especially not when you will understand why I’ve brought you here.”

“So you started to tell me in the dig site. And I overheard the crew mentioning the turian Spectre and my mother when they noticed me in the mess hall,” Liara admitted. The asari seemed to shrink some under the weight of implications she felt. She must be young. “I understand my knowledge seems to be desired, but I don't...I don't know why my mother is part of this.”

Shepard shifted, trying to sit up against her pillows. Liara looked like she wanted to help the Commander, but didn’t dare ask unless the human ordered her to do so. Once comfortable, Shepard looked the asari dead in the eye. “We’re chasing after Saren. He’s aligning himself with the geth and either pursuing remnants of or working with a sentient race of machines called Reapers that wiped out the Protheans 50,000 years ago.”

Liara’s eyes bulged. “How could you know this? I’ve never come across anything like that in my studies. I’ve always noticed my instinct telling me a extinction event pattern was being repeated in cycles throughout time in our galaxy, but the word Reapers nor them being sentient machines as the ultimate destroyers of the Prothean empire has never crossed my findings.”

“The beacon on Eden Prime, Dr. T’soni. It gave me a vision before it was destroyed, the same one it gave Saren when he used it before me. Damn thing knocked me out cold for a couple of days. I know what I do from that vision as well as clarifications from Tali’s audio finding from a geth memory core,” Shepard explained. She brought her arm up to mess with her omni-tool. “I will play it for you shortly, but I suspect you have a few questions first.”

“Yes. I think they can all be answered by something simple, though, if you will allow it,” Liara began, arms spreading.

“And that is?”  
  
“A mental joining of my mind to yours. I could see the same vision you had and get some answers that way. But I will only do that if you give me permission.”

Shepard cocked her head. “Oh yes. I remember reading about this asari nervous system ability. Will it be painful?”

“No, but it may be exhausting, given your current state,” Liara admitted, almost guiltily.

Shepard rolled her shoulders. “Do it.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes. I trust you. You might pick up something I wouldn't express well.”

Liara reached over, placing her hands on the Commander’s arm, and looked the human in the face. She dropped her head back a little, briefly closed her eyes before they reopened solidly black, and said, “Commander, embrace eternity.”

Shepard immediately felt a probing in her head and closed her eyes against the gritting sensation. The beacon’s message replayed quickly in flashes of red, orange, and black; after it finished her mind reached for the first comforting thing it could, just from natural shock of the forced recollection sensations, and an image of Caios quickly appeared, his old reassuring face plates moving into a look of what she had come to understand as tenderness. Shepard’s consciousness began to frown as his face started to morph, the burgundy markings reshaping to a dark blue over silver plating.  
  
And just as fast as the probing feeling had arrived, it was gone. Her mind calmed. Her thoughts blanked.

She breathed out deeply and opened her green eyes. Liara sat farther away on the other bed, head in her hands. “Liara?”

“I’m fine, Commander. Just...processing.” The asari rubbed her face with her fingertips. “Goddess, you weren’t lying. It’s all true. It doesn't surprise me that it rendered you unconscious. The power of the beacon must have been incredible.”

“Yeah,” Shepard replied. She adjusted a little in her spot. “It physically lifted me into the air.”

Liara’s head came up slowly, her eyes revealing her own tired feelings from the joining. “Commander, I saw a few other images before the connection closed. Were you thinking of something specific?”

Shepard glanced away to her bandaged ankle and foot. “An old friend.”

“I saw a turian.”

“Yes.”

Silence reigned for a few moments before Shepard swallowed down the bittersweet grief. She brought her arm up and moved through her omni-tool, looking for the recording Tali had given her. When she found it, she paused. “Now, I’m going to play this recording for you. I want to warn you, though, Liara. It will explain the reason the crew is having trouble trusting you.” Before the asari could ask how Shepard could have possibly known that, the Commander brought her free hand up. “I caught that from your end. Your concern about their whispers.”

“I see.” Liara sighed. “Go ahead.”

Shepard gave her a brief nod and then played the recording. The moment Matriarch Benezia’s voice echoed eerily over the omni-tool, Liara froze solid next to Shepard. Shepard watched her closely, looking for signs of awareness or recognition, anything that could prove Liara was truly in league with her mother aiding Saren in his quest.

When Liara looked up to the Commander, her large blue eyes were watery. “I...see.”

“If you need time, you’re welcome to it. We have to stop back by the Citadel, and I’ve already had Joker plot the course.”

“Commander, you should know...I haven’t spoken with my mother in years. We’ve had many disagreements, but I never.... I do not feel that it is completely _her voice_ in that recording. It sounds off,” Liara tried explaining, her frustration and fatigue evident in her voice. “Flat, emotionless. Subdued. Perhaps she does not want to aid him. The mother I remember certainly wouldn't be doing this.”

Shepard cocked her head, intrigued. “Do you think he’s manipulated her somehow? Blackmail or holding something against her?”

“Yes. What, I don't know.”

“Very well. It’ll be looked into in the near future.” Shepard watched the asari archaeologist move to retreat back into the rear room and called out. “Liara, if you need to ever talk, my door will be open. I know...this is a lot. Everything's pretty heavy lately, and you've only been here 48 hours.”

The asari paused in her steps, briefly turning to kindly look back. “Thank you, Commander.”  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: PERSONAL REPRIMANDING**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Garrus sighed to himself as he calibrated the Mako’s rocket system for the tenth time in the past two hours. He’d say he was bored, but honestly he was very, very confused. What had plagued him to be so forward and bold with his superior? Garrus knew he had always had had issues in that area; that was why some in C-Sec hadn’t minded watching him leave with the Spectre. He had always been a “bad turian.”

Still, he figured he owed the Commander an explanation, one he had been deciphering in himself since her surgery yesterday. Deciding to speak with her, he withdrew from the vehicle and moved past a busy Ashley and loitering Wrex into the elevator. Garrus walked into the medbay, surprised to find it empty except for the human doctor at her desk.

“Where is the Commander?”

Chakwas turned with a smile. “In her quarters dealing with messages, I believe.”

“Thanks,” he said, turning to leave. He earned a strange look from Kaidan as he crossed the mess and moved to Shepard’s quarters, knocking on the door.

When it opened, he exhaled and stepped inside, hearing it hiss shut behind him. The Commander was at a desk on the far side of the office, her fingers messing with a holographic keyboard. Crutches leaned against the wall next to her. She turned to look up at him when he took another step closer; immediately, Garrus’s instincts kicked in and he put himself into a subordinate stance.

She eyed him curiously. “Do you need something, Vakarian?”

“I felt like I needed to explain my...behavior on and after Therum, Commander,” he began. Garrus fidgeted a little, surprised at how nervous he was feeling.

Shepard moved in her chair to face him; the action had his eyes riveting down to the bandaged part of her right leg. “It’s fine, by the way, like I knew it would be. Just sore. When we hit the Citadel, I’ll be up and walking without a problem, though it’ll be sore for a while. Amazing what medicine is capable of anymore.”

Garrus said nothing, just nodded at her words. She watched him a moment longer, her human expression not translating to him. Finally, she sighed with exasperation and gestured to the bunk next to her. “Sit, Garrus.”

His blue eyes focused on the bed as he swallowed at first, but then he realized that other chairs in her quarters were seated away from her limited position. Garrus moved to sit on her bed, still surprised and somewhat uncomfortable with the action.

“Spill it,” she said quietly.

“What?”

“It means talk, Garrus.”

“Oh, okay. Well, first I, uh, wanted to apologize,” he started.

She cocked a brow at him. “For?”  
  
“For appearing to undermine your position, Commander, which I had no intention of doing.” He growled to himself and looked sharply to the floor. “Scratch that, I lied. I had every intention of doing that, but not for the reasons you think.”

Silence hit him in her quarters for several moments before she finally spoke. Her voice was even, not angry, but that could be just as bad. “And that was?”

“Seeing you disappear behind me like that...I knew I couldn’t leave you. Then when I found you, I hadn’t realized how nasty your wound was until you tried to move on your own and fell on the ramp. I got admittedly insubordinate with you there and then on the _Normandy_ itself during rendezvous.”  
  
Shepard watched him, her green eyes unnerving him. “Go on.”

He swallowed roughly. Would she dismiss him if he told her the truth? He sighed. “Commander, I reacted the way I did because I realized, when I couldn’t find you behind me at the exit, that _you_ are the only chance we have at getting Saren and whatever threat these Reapers could be once again. I didn’t care whether you were my superior, I just wanted you alive in those moments. So, I directly disobeyed an order, which shows how bad of a turian I really am, and then grew further insubordinate by carrying you on your own ship. For that I...apologize.”

She shifted in her chair. “I realize the pressure riding on me all too well, Garrus.”

“I wasn’t trying to make it worse, Commander.”

Then she did something he never would have expected. On a turian ship, he would have been reprimanded in a number of ways, depending on the attitudes of his commanding officer, but here, on this strange ship with this novel human, he wasn’t sure what to expect. Her grinning at him just definitely hadn’t been on the list of possible reactions.

“I’ve listened and understood your reasons, Officer Vakarian. Consider the matter put to rest,” she said, still giving him a smile.

Garrus didn’t try to hide his confusion. “Aren’t you going to reprimand me?”

“No. You’ve already done that part, “ Shepard commented.

“I have?”

“Obviously this issue has been eating at you for the past couple of days. But, if it makes you feel better, I can always order you to clean my guns or something,” she offered. “I’m still a bit exhausted with the meds and wouldn’t want to screw something up without realizing it. I'm sure you understand the trust involved in this task. Like, you fuck up, I might shoot you after I fix it.”

Garrus found himself relaxing for the first time in days. “Absolutely. I'm a gun lover, Commander. I'll be careful. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind it. It would take my mind off things.”

Shepard nodded. “Then you have my permission to clean my sniper rifle. Carefully. Once.”

“Thanks, Commander.” He shifted, awkward and still aware he had more to air to clear. It was just so different with her. Not just her humanity as a leader, but... _her_. Her manners, her ways of thinking. “I just wanted you to know that I feel bad for seeming to usurp your superior position, particularly on the ship. All I cared about was making sure you were well so that you could be the important figure that I know you are. I hadn’t meant to force any gender issues or subordinate/superior ones.”

“Gender issues?”

He nodded, a bit surprised she hadn't inferred his meaning right away, given all he'd heard about humans. “Yeah, me carrying you onto your own ship and refusing to put you down right away. It might have sent the message that being female makes you weaker. I hadn’t meant do to that, and it is definitely something I don’t believe. I’ve heard human males often treat their women in such ways, but turians are taught to respect our females. They can easily match or best us in combat if they really want.”

“Ah. Well, Garrus, I’ve never let any misogynistic male treat me like that, and I know you weren’t intending it to be such. Consider it forgiven and in the past.”

“Thank you,” Garrus said with relief ringing in his subharmonics.

She smiled at him again. “Anytime. It took guts to do what you just did, Garrus. I won’t forget that respect.”

Garrus rose and moved to the door, ready to ponder on the conversation while he would tend to her sniper rifle. He understood the trust she was placing in him to clean it properly, and it made him feel important. He paused, foot in the air, when her voice reached him.

“He would like you,” she murmured to herself, unaware that Garrus was listening as the door opened in front of him.

Garrus left the quarters and moved to find some dextro rations in the mess, his thoughts whirling around as he tried to guess at just who the Commander had been referring to—obviously, by her tone, it was a male of importance in her life, one that probably garnered much respect. But there was something else about that tone of her voice, something he couldn’t understand simply by its human sound. If he had to guess, he would have said it sounded a lot like hope and longing—but for what?

He firmly shoved those thoughts from his mind as he entered the elevator alone, his mandibles flexing in the solitude.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER NINETEEN: CITADEL BREAK**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“Garrus, Tali, you two are coming with me on the Citadel for some matters. Everyone gets a day of shore leave while we are docked for supplies. Be back on board by 22:00 hours,” Shepard ordered, addressing the whole crew in front of her.

She watched Garrus and Tali head to their lockers to grab any gear they may need. Ashley stepped up to her, a curious look on her face. “Skipper.”

“Yes, Ash?”  
  
“You sure you don’t want LT or me along?”

Shepard turned to look at her, her nod affirming. “Yes, Chief. I’ve got to pick up some supplies, Garrus probably needs to check in on his apartment situation to be sure that whatever arrangements he’s made are intact, and Tali told me this morning that she needs a certain...quarian thing from the markets.”

“Okay, Skipper.”

“You know I like taking all of you out, Ash.”

Ashley nodded, not finding any offense. Shepard had noted how much more open the Chief had started to become over the last weeks of traveling. Each talk they had revealed more of Ashley’s history and explained her determination and beliefs, and Shepard had been shocked to discover the uptight gunnery chief had a hidden love of poetry. When Ash had spoken about her family, especially who the chief’s grandfather was and his role with the First Contact War, it made Williams _having_ previous xeno-attitudes much more understandable. Not excusable, but at least they'd come from some source other than simple prejudice, and that gave Shepard hope she could work the bigotry out of her system. Shepard hadn’t said so, but she felt proud of Ashley already quietly making progress.  
  
Swinging her head over toward Wrex, Shepard found him grabbing something from his own locker. “Plans, Wrex?”

“Varren skewers and Rincol.”

Shepard frowned. “Huh?”

“No offense, Shepard, but your rations suck. I’m getting some good food while I can,” the krogan muttered, humor in his tone.

She grinned. “Oh, fine. Bring some back with you. I’ll try something.”

Wrex looked up, smirking from his bent position. “Very well, Shepard. We’ll see what you can handle. The Rincol will kill you, though.”

Shepard waved him off and found Tali and Garrus had moved to her, ready to leave. Together they entered the elevator and strode up toward the cockpit.  
  
Shepard stopped before entering the airlock for decontamination. Joker was looking at something on his omni-tool, oblivious to them. She'd learned the pilot was defensive and diverted often with humor, but sometimes he really appreciated things just being out in the open more than toed around for some decorum's sake. And that was why she teased close to his ear, “Hey, Joker, are you going on leave or am I bringing you back anything?”

Joker jerked and shouted, his hand over his face. “Christ, Commander, I think I need a new heart.”

“All right, Tin Man. Anything else?”

Tali stepped up, confused. “Tin Man?”

“I’ll show you later, Tali. It’s a character from a _very_ old human vid,” Shepard explained.

“Hm,” the pilot pretended to think. “Latest issue of Fornax, if you can find it.”

Shepard eyed him while Garrus gave a nervous cough behind her. “How about a light bottle of alcohol for a game of cards during any major travel downtime?”

“Deal, Shepard.”

“I better not catch you with a trashy mag up here, Joker,” she said, voice warning but eyes teasing.

He grinned. “I reserve that for evening, ma’am.”

Shepard gave a quick laugh and entered the airlock, two very flustered aliens behind her. Tali piped up, her voice slightly squeaky. “Was he being serious?”

“Who knows? They way he flies, I’d let him get a break however it helps,” Shepard said honestly. She tried not to laugh at how uncomfortable the innocent young quarian had become, shifting in her steps.

Garrus, on the other hand, just smiled a little, shown by his mandibles slightly lifting up and out. “I should stop by C-Sec. I could get a list of better tasting stuff from some of the other guys. Joker might appreciate that.”

Shepard tossed her hands up. “I’m surrounded.”

  
  


\-------------------------

  
  


They picked up the small part Tali had wanted to enhance her suit in the upper markets. Shepard glanced through a few merchants’ stocks, debating over this pistol or that armor mod. Garrus was dying to see the sniper rifle she claimed to have ordered for him weeks ago, and he wondered when they would go to her Spectre requisitions officer by the C-Sec offices.

On their way toward the stairs to stop by the lower markets, a blond human man stood, waving at them. Garrus caught the sigh coming from the Commander and prepared himself, uncertain as to whom the man could possibly be. When the trio neared him, the human spoke up loudly.

“Commander Shepard! Imagine getting to see you again!” the man said excitedly. “I hear you’re off on important Spectre business.”

Garrus watched Shepard pause, her stance so awkward that even he, a turian, could read her emotions in it. “Yeah, Conrad.”

“Listen, Commander, would it be all right if I snapped a quick picture of you for my wife? She’s still on Earth and just dying to see a photo of you here on the Citadel.”  
  
With the movement of the human closer to Shepard, Garrus realized he, too, had unconsciously moved closer to Shepard. The smells coming from the human male were strange; there was an underlying sense of arousal, but it was mostly clouded with something Garrus couldn’t make out. Adoration perhaps, rather than lust?

Shepard nodded. “Sure, Conrad. Anything for a fan.”

A fan. Shepard had fans. Oh, ho. _  
  
_Garrus laughed inwardly, stepping back once he realized that the human didn’t present a direct danger to his commander. Shepard posed for the photo, her pistol raised in the air. After the human snapped it, he quickly thanked her and ran off with his prize.

Shepard grumbled, moving to go down the stairs. “Not one word out of you both.”

Tali giggled next to Garrus as they followed her.

About an hour later, they had entered Flux to satisfy Shepard’s curiosity. Garrus had been to the nicer club a few times, mostly on work-related stuff—talking to witnesses, arresting drunk and disorderly people—but he quickly realized that no matter where Shepard went, she always found someone to help. It was like she herself was a beacon for those in need. A woman working near the bar spoke answered some of the Commander's questions about the club and in turn asked Shepard for her help about a sister working for C-Sec undercover in Chora’s Den.

Shepard immediately said she would find a way to get Jenna out of the gentleman’s club, as together they _well_ knew the dangers possible there, and get the sister back in Flux, a much safer environment. As they left to head to Chora’s Den, Garrus spoke up. Shepard was a pretty forward moving military commander. Less shrouded in mystery, more apt to pull a wrench out of a machine than browse a manual for hours. “Shepard, you realize you can’t just walk in there and blow the girl’s cover. That puts her in more danger.”

“I know. I’ll try to speak with her in private. Reason with her.”

Garrus shook his head. He knew Shepard always had good intentions, but he could just imagine what C-Sec was going to do in response to her good-natured meddling. In Chora’s Den, he watched Shepard quickly narrow in on Jenna; the female looking similar to her sister enough on sight, so Shepard pulled the bartender aside to speak in private. The young human woman immediately walked off, huffing, but Garrus could smell the fear on her. Frustrated, Shepard declared they would try finding someone in C-Sec to discuss the matter, since the young woman clearly was too afraid to leave, break cover, or didn't know what orders might land her in trouble.

A drunken turian entered as they were exiting the club doors. A fringe headpiece, a common type of attire on the Presidium, covered part of his face. Garrus could tell that the turian had not really been drinking that heavily by his smell, but he acted the part well. Had to be C-Sec. And by the scent of him, someone familiar. Garrus seized up, surprised to see it was Chellick, an old rival from his days of C-Sec undercover.

The turian bounced hard into Shepard, his head leaning awfully close to hers. He whispered, “If you’ve got questions about Jenna, meet me in C-Sec HQ.”

Shepard turned, incredulous. “What?”  
  
“Push off. I didn’t do _nothin'_ to you,” the officer replied, shuffling off behind them.

Garrus waited until they had made it outside of the club and explained to Shepard what had just occurred.

“All right then,” she murmured. “Let’s go wait on him.”  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY: CHELLICK**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Shepard walked away from the blue-armored krogan named Jax, the weapon mod in her hands, and a scowl on her face. Garrus found himself trying to keep pace next to the angry Spectre as she trudged on toward the elevator to C-Sec HQ. Tali kept glancing to him behind Shepard’s back.

“Commander,” the quarian began. Poor Tali felt bad for her being so frustrated.

Shepard slowed a little, finally stopping once they made it inside the elevator. She watched the door. “Sorry, Tali. I hate letting assholes like that get away with things.”

“Right, but had we done something about it, the krogan probably would have attacked and been killed, thus cutting off Chellick’s information about how far this weapons smuggling is going and where it’s originating from,” Garrus said quietly. Still, he _had_ been surprised that Shepard had done as Chellick had asked—she paid for the illegal mod and walked away without trying to arrest the krogan, against every part of her that had instinctually wanted to do so.

She shrugged. “As C-Sec, I guess you’d understand that.”

“Yeah. Had to do something similar once for a case I worked on.”

Tali tapped Shepard’s shoulder, getting the Commander’s attention. “Still, Commander, you proved you bluff well. If we all do play cards some night, we’ll have to watch you. I’ve got the natural advantage with my mask, but you may be just as formidable an opponent.”

That seemed to cheer Shepard right up. Garrus was thankful for the quarian’s words as he watched Shepard relax and smile back, challenge easily visible in her eyes. “All right, Tali. We’ll see.”

The elevator stopped and they passed by several different officers on their way upstairs. Shepard made a left into the second office, Chellick’s. Garrus followed closely behind her, curious to watch the interaction. The last one where Chellick had presented them with this errand in exchange for Jenna's work release, well...it had been strange. The other turian had seemed bizarrely interested in what Shepard had had to say, his focus completely intent on her to the point he'd mostly ignored Garrus and Tali. Something was off, and Garrus wanted to know what.

Chellick’s head came up as Shepard grew closer, distracting him from his screens. His white markings over the light tan plating were bright under the office lights. Green eyes pinning them were of a similar shade to Shepard's, just much brighter. “Commander.”

“Here are your mods.” Shepard handed them to the turian, who immediately gave them an appraising look.

“Great job, Commander. You’ve given me possibly more than I need to trace the leads. Thank you. I’ll get Jenna out of Chora’s Den now,” Chellick said, setting the mods onto his desk. “And send you some credits for the trouble.”

Shepard sighed. “Please do. Her sister will be waiting for her in Flux.”

This time Garrus had positioned himself closer to Chellick's desk, curious to see if he could get anymore information about what was going on with the officer around Shepard. Garrus’s nose twitched when he smelled something; for a moment, he thought he was hallucinating, but there it was. He angled his head, watching as Chellick gazed up at Shepard again with intent...serious intent.  
  
Wait a second. _She aroused him._

Garrus stepped forward without thinking, eyes trained on the other officer in shock and some weird feeling of mixed anger. Shepard realized he had moved very close to her side and gave him a strange look.

“Well, Commander,” Chellick started, staring back at Garrus just as fiercely before switching his gaze back to Shepard. “I hope to hear from you again the next time you’re on the Citadel.”

“That so?”

“Sure. Not all turians are angry about having you as a Spectre. I’m curious to see how far you’ll go with it,” Chellick offered. He bared one side of his neck, and Garrus immediately loosed a low growl, unable to stop himself or comprehend the authenticity of the gesture. Spirits, would Shepard get what was being said with the action?

Shepard’s head snapped to her left to look up at him in surprise. “Garrus?”

“Nothing, Commander.”

Tali, sensing something was going on between the two officers, suggested that she and Shepard head down to the requisitions while the turians talked. “Maybe they have some kind of troubled past working relationship,” Tali said quietly, pulling Shepard to the side.

Shepard stared at Garrus, causing him to fidget. “Meet us down there.”

“Yes, Shepard.”

“Nice meeting you again,” Shepard said to Chellick and shook the turian's extended hand, eyes pausing briefly to catch Chellick's when the officer squeezed her fingers gently and raised a brow.

“You, too, Commander. It's been a pleasure. Stop by next time you dock. I might have some more favors to call in.”

“You wish. I'm not doing that again.”

Chellick chuckled lowly and nodded, his subharmonic tones flirting with her. “Fair, Shepard. Stop by anyway.”

The human female nodded back and waved as she turned, Tali following.

Garrus watched Shepard and Tali leave, noticing Chellick doing the same—only the turian officer was eyeing Shepard as if she were a female turian, green eyes focused on her waist, his scent changing and signaling deep interest. Garrus spun, yet another growl emitting from his throat. “What the fuck _,_ Chellick?”

Chellick rose from his seat, standing eye level behind the desk. He smirked. “Is there a problem, Garrus? You and I always seem to dance around each other with issues.”

Beyond confused and annoyed, Garrus snapped, “You can stop eyeing my Commander like she’s a female, for starters.”

“She _is_ a female, Garrus,” Chellick countered. He leaned forward over the desk, brow plates rising. “Or did you not notice? I think you _did_ , Vakarian.”

Garrus swallowed. Why was he so pissed off about this? And what the _hell_ was that insinuation about? “You know what I meant. She’s human, Chellick.”

“That doesn’t necessarily mean anything. I’ve always been open to interspecies liaisons. You and Spirits knows everyone else in our old department knew. So what.” The other turian rolled his shoulders, showing tension but an obvious willingness to spar if he wanted to do so. “I rather...admire the Commander.”

“Yeah, well I’m betting she isn’t into that crap, and if she knew you were showing her your unmarked throat, she might not have smiled as politely,” Garrus growled out, mandibles tight and his stance aggressive. It just...it just pissed him off, this disrespect.

Chellick crossed his arms, brow plates moving downward as he thought quickly. “Yet I wonder. What’s the real problem, here, Garrus? Are _you_ interested in the Commander as well? Because you're being rather territorial for someone not interested.”

Garrus froze, the thought pinning him still.

No. Absolutely not. There had never been a time in his life when he'd ever been curious about humans or human females sexually. Not ever. And he certainly wasn't remotely curious or attracted to this turian-friendly one. He waited a few moments before he forced out, “N-No. Of course I’m not. She’s human.” He made his subharmonics agree with the statement, infusing their tones easily with shock.

“Maybe one day you’ll realize that you don’t have to be attracted to an entire species to feel something for one of its members,” Chellick murmured, eyes very observant on Garrus’s face. His neck flushed in embarrassment.

Garrus's body language betrayed his frustration and anger, his subharmonics now carrying low intonations of warnings. “Regardless, I’m watching out for my Commander. You have no idea of the respect I have for her, and I refuse to let someone ogle her like that.”

Chellick sighed, moving forward around the desk. “You don't know shit. I respect her all the same, Vakarian. Maybe more than _you_ , since I don't hide any interest and lie to myself. Besides, I smelled her scent change when I shook her hand. She's curious, too.”

“What is _that_ supposed to mean, you dick?” No, there was absolutely no way Commander Shepard would be curious about Chellick in that regard. Right? Garrus stood his ground as the two turians glared at each other, neither backing down. Chellick suddenly tilted his head slightly in curiosity, shaking it, before finally brushing past the barely younger turian, dismissing him with a turian salute.

“Chellick!”

“If you want to fight for rights, do it when you’re actually a threat, Garrus. If you ever will be.”

Garrus fumed, his subharmonics furious. He was pissed off at himself and disgusted with Chellick. The turian had nerve to be so open with the Commander right in front of anyone else. They might as well have been back in Chora's Den for the professionalism.  
  
The longer he walked through C-Sec the more Garrus was confused as to why he honestly was reacting this angrily anyway, but he clamped that thought trail down. He couldn't afford to think about the...insinuations...Chellick had thrown his way. Not when he respected his Commander and not when she needed to have that respect.  
  
He balled his hands into fists and stormed out past several surprised officers as he went down the stairs to find the requisitions room.  
  
He immediately felt the tension ease out of him when he saw Shepard turn around, a huge grin on her face, and a large container in her arms. “Happy birthday, big guy.”

He eyed the package with excitement, all frustration feeling shoved aside. “It’s not my birthday.”

“Happy early one, then.” She handed him the box, watching as he opened it and found the brand new high-grade Mantis sniper rifle shining up at him. Garrus felt excitement burst inside of him at the recognition of the weapon; it was a brand new type being sold on the markets, only available to Spectres for purchasing before market or public company release. Something he'd researched and only dreamed about firing one day.

Garrus’s mandibles fluttered as he took it in, reveling in the gun’s beauty. It was long and white with a black barrel, black scope and grip. The damn thing shined. He couldn’t wait to take it apart, learn its body, put it back together and find his rhythm with it in battle. He looked up to see Shepard smiling, Tali off behind her examining a pistol.  
  
Garrus simply couldn't believe this human's generosity toward him. “Commander...thank you.”  
  
Garrus saw the turian requisition officer’s head quickly lift toward their direction as he heard his own subharmonics echo with pleasing tones reserved for intimate friends, family, and mates.

Shepard, who couldn’t hear or tell the difference in the vibrations of his voice, merely nodded. “I expect to see you make it dance, Garrus.”

“Oh, I will. Just wait until you see what I can do.”  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: FRIENDS**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Back aboard the _Normandy_ , Shepard had first heard the game of cards in the mess before she saw the camaraderie in action. She overheard the laughing from her quarters and, finally curious, emerged to see what was causing it all. She couldn’t help but smile when she found Garrus, Tali, Wrex, and Kaidan playing cards around a table.

Garrus was the first to look up; his visor must have caught her and alerted him of movement. His blue eyes met hers, making her pause, though she wasn’t sure why. They were just eyes. Only blue. Very, very light blue. Very uniquely blue. _  
  
_She shook her head and came forward, putting a hand on the back of Tali’s chair.

“Who’s winning?” she asked, noting those blue eyes hadn’t left her face.

Wrex chuckled. “She is,” he said, jerking his head toward Tali. “Clever little pyjak. Wouldn’t be so clever without that helmet to hide behind.”

“Oh, psh. If you could read body language, you’d have gotten me ages ago,” Tali confessed with a giggle.

As they continued to banter, Shepard glanced around the group and back to Garrus, seeing he _still_ hadn’t looked away from her. Trying not to let the blush creep over her freckled cheeks, she swallowed and lifted her eyes to stare back at him. This area of turian behavior was not one Caios had taught her about, though not by choice. He had passed away before he could pull much in the way of patriarchal protective grumblings.

Shepard refocused on Garrus, thinking. They had gotten to speak on several side missions now, and she had learned quite a bit about him. He'd mentioned some memories of growing up on Palaven and that he had a younger sister who annoyed the crap out of him often. He'd explained how his father had enforced him turning down the offer for Spectre training, deciding Garrus’s future would be better (and more ethically) spent in C-Sec. And, hell, on the run to shut down the rogue VI on Luna’s training facility, Garrus had 'fessed up to an awkward blind date with an asari, something about a dare in his duty years, causing Joker to beg the turian to dish the details over their comms. He hadn’t owned up to the number of his own females he'd dated or been with, though he said he preferred them to the “mind-joining blue ladies" and hadn't really thought about interspecies relationships much.  
  
Liara had furiously blushed at that beside them, but Shepard herself had felt...bothered by it. Obviously the turian had rights to whatever he wanted in life, and the events had happened long before they knew one another, but the knowledge still simmered unfairly in her gut. It had been so long since Shepard felt jealousy that she wasn't sure what it was until it had dawned on her that night as she'd fallen asleep. Of course after that she'd felt stupid for feeling jealous over a subordinate's love life, even if said subordinate was eye-catchy.

Still, if she had to be honest, Shepard _had_ noted a change in Garrus’s behavior since their return from the Citadel. No, since they'd last seen that turian officer—Chellick, the one with the white markings and quick, flirty grin and hand squeeze she'd caught and wondered if she'd interpreted correctly. Garrus just seemed a little on edge. His attention was now focused greatly on his new gun, and he tuned out most of everyone else’s discussions.

So, yes, Shepard stared right back at his gaze, daring him to break away first, wondering all the while about the butterflies her stomach had fluttering simply from his stare. She didn’t think he was going to break the moment until Wrex gave him a hard elbow in the side, trying to catch the turian’s attention. “It’s your turn, turian. Go.”

Garrus snapped out of it, startling all of them as he jerked wildly. His eyes flew up to Shepard’s again, this time with a different awareness, an intent, that hadn’t been there before. She felt embarrassed, thinking he really hadn’t been staring at her like that after all.

“Garrus, are you well?” Tali asked, concern evident in her voice.

Kaidan pushed his chair back. “I’ll grab him some dextro-friendly juice. Maybe he’s just a little dehydrated or something.”

Shepard watched Garrus swing his head around to watch Kaidan. “Yeah, Alenko. Thanks.”

Wrex, on the other hand, lowered one big red eye close to Garrus’s face. He grumbled something that didn’t come across Shepard’s translators, and whatever it was piqued her curiosity. When Garrus replied back, mandibles moving and his faceplates animating, Shepard realized that whatever Wrex had grunted out in his own language, Garrus had answered back in a series of vibrations and clicks, and none of it was translating fast enough for her at all. Was it possible that the longer relationship between their two species allowed for some cross over words?

Finally, Garrus turned back to his cards, tossing his hand down in front of him. “I’m out.”

“Out? You have a winning hand!” Tali sounded exasperated and disappointed as Garrus rose up from his seat to take the drink Kaidan offered him.

Shepard heard the turian murmur his thanks before mumbling under his breath about needing beauty sleep and quietly, as quietly as a turian in armor could be, stalked off toward the elevator.

“Commander, maybe you should....”

“I’ll see what’s up,” Shepard said, answering Tali’s implied question. Shepard jogged around to the elevator and stepped inside just before it closed.

Garrus paused and looked down at her, drink in hand. “Commander?”

“Do you sleep with your eyes open?”

His faceplates rose. He seemed baffled by her question. “No.”

Shepard shifted in her stance. “Well, you seemed to be staring off into space there. Or rather, my face.”

“Ah. Yes. How do you humans say it? I ‘zoned out.’ Sorry about that.”

“Do you do this often?” Shepard had to fight the urge to say that even if he had been zoning and jerked like he had, there had been intensity to his stare that had suggested he had been deep in thought and in thoughts that involved _her_.  
  
Garrus looked sharply to her. “If you’re asking if I do that in battle, then no, Commander. Never. That’s risking your back and whoever else is with us.”

“Good to hear.” Shepard rolled her shoulders and stepped off the elevator with him, following him over to his post. Ashley was asleep on a cot across the cargo bay, and the requisitions officer had left to join in a discussion with the engineers.

“Is there something wrong, Commander?” Garrus turned to ask, surprised to see her still nearby.

She shrugged. “Thought you might need to talk. You’ve been a bit stiff since we got back from the Citadel. Everything working out with the apartment?”

He stepped toward his station, back to her as he sat his drink down. “Yes. No issues there, thanks to you.”

Shepard stepped around him to look at his Mantis where it was closed on a workbench. “May I?” she asked without looking at him.

“Sure.”

She bent and opened the gun up, letting it max out to its full length. She lifted it, checked down the scope and looked around the back of the cargo bay. Carefully, she hit the hidden switch to make the gun retract before she gently sat it back down. “Man, is this thing beautiful. Do you like it?”

“Yes. Best gift I’ve ever had,” Garrus said, gloved fingers reaching to stroke over the Mantis.

Shepard nodded, happy at the little awe in his voice. “I’m glad. I remember when I had that first sniper that I felt was _mine_. Even named the poor thing.”

Garrus laughed lightly, vibrations echoing in the quiet room. “Oh?”

“Yeah. It was an older version of the Mantis that was called something else, way before they tweaked the weight shifting problem with kickback. I figured out how to get him to work anyway, only upgrading when he could no longer fire without seriously causing me a shoulder problem,” she said, _still_ able to feel the pain in her shoulder once in a while, like phantom memory, when she thought of it.

“What did you call him?” he asked, turning to lean against the bench, his head cocked in curiosity.

“Macitus.”

Shepard watched his mouth open in surprise, mandibles widening. Garrus stood a little straighter as he gave her a piercing sideways glance. “How do you know that name?”

“I was taught about him by an old friend.”

“All right, I’ll bite. Who is Macitus, Shepard?”

She rolled her eyes. “A legendary turian renowned in myth for his true aim and resolve. A soldier who never gave up, who fought until he was physically incapable. He is one of the many Spirits of ancestors people look up to, especially on Palaven. Right?”

“I am...impressed, Shepard.” Strange low vibrations emitted from him, tingling her spine. Garrus crossed his arms after a moment. “You know, that’s something you just do naturally, Commander.”

“Impress you?” She couldn’t help the awkward grin as it crossed her features.

He coughed a little at her smile. “Impress people in general. C-Sec was full of mumblings about you back around Akuze. And now that you’ve challenged the Council and confirmed one of their Spectres as traitorous to the galaxy and his own race, you’ve earned respect from political idiots who refused to look before. But the Spectre induction...I’m really glad I got to be there in person, Shepard. It was an honor.”

She looked down, feeling the overbearing pressure of her job weighing again. “Thanks, Garrus. I still am overwhelmed by the knowledge of it all. It feels like it’s happening to someone else, not me...but it is. It's happening to me. Commander Shepard, doing duty.”

“Shepard?”

Shepard glanced back up at his concerned tone. “Like you said, I’m an important figure now. Without me, a lot of shit can really backfire. I have to see this through.”  
  
“And I recall saying I hadn’t meant to add pressure to the already weighty problem of that,” Garrus reminded her.

“I know. It’s just...how it is.” Shepard realized she’d gotten very personal and immediately straightened, her gaze quickly darting to the Mako. “How’s the old girl?”

“Recovering from her last beating. Maybe you should let me drive that sometime.”

“Oh, you’re funny.”

Garrus shrugged next to her. “What’s the worst I could do?”

“Nothing less than I could,” she grudgingly admitted.

They stood in comfortable silence for several moments, with her staring at the Mako and him staring at her. Eventually, Garrus spoke, his voice very soft. “Commander?”

“Yes?”

“Are we...friends?”

Shepard smiled, her back turned to him. The way he asked it was very shyly, as if he were afraid of the answer’s own effect on him somehow. She debated before turning carefully to look up at him. “What do you think?”

“I, uh,” Garrus swallowed. He uncrossed his arms, resting his gloved palms against the bench to support his weight. Shepard’s eyes followed, intrigued, realizing just how broad his hands were visually. “I’d like to imagine so. I know you’ve done a lot for me, given everything, and you have no idea how much appreciation and respect I have for you. But...I don’t know. I feel protective over you. I want to see you succeed, not just as a subordinate who wants to see his worthy superior rewarded but also as a friend who only wants to see his friend happy and feeling satisfied.”

Stunned a little by his honesty, she moved to the bench, leaning in a similar way. At his sideways glance, she looked up. “Honestly, Garrus that might be the nicest thing I’ve ever heard. I’d love to be your friend.”

“Really?”  
  
“Yeah.” She sighed. “I’ve always felt more comfortable around turians.”

Garrus seemed to stiffen slightly, looking off toward the lockers. “Do you have a dirty secret, Shepard?”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

“What did you tell me to do before? Spill it?”

She laughed. “Yeah.”

“Spill it.”

“Nothing to spill, really. Just find turians fascinating. I used to research different species as a kid. Found that no matter what interesting facts I discovered about the salarians or krogan or even asari, I always came back to the turians,” she explained. “I’m interested in the governing style as well as your culture and biology. So much emphasis comes on sounds I cannot even hear. Just goes to prove how amazing evolution can be.”

Garrus hummed. “So you know about subharmonics.”

“A tiny bit.”

“Well, Shepard, if you feel you’re missing out, I can always just _say_ how you drive me crazy when you bounce me around in the Mako,” Garrus offered, still looking straight ahead.

“Cute, Garrus. You’re lucky you’ve got a nice face and that I find you funny.”

Instantly he turned to face her. “Oh, you get to explain _that one_ , too.”

Shepard ignored what almost sounded like flirtation in his tone; she believed that interpretation wasn't possible because it had to be extremely uncommon for a turian male to even remotely do what Chellick had seemed to with her earlier. She pushed herself off from her position against the bench and revolved to see him. “What? You’re funny. It’s one of the reasons I like being friends with you. But sometimes your humor tweaks me a little, and I just have to remember that I actually _like_ your face and wouldn’t want to break my hand on it.”

“You _like_ my face? What does that mean exactly?”

“I’m complimenting you, genius.” She smiled and waved behind her, going toward the elevator. Feeling both empowered and nervous, she punched the console button and looking over found him staring after her heavily, his head angled back a little and his graceful neck bared to one side.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO: NOVERIA**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Turians hated cold. He could have sworn he'd told her that. _  
  
_Garrus grumbled inwardly for what felt like the thousandth time. Maybe even the millionth.  
  
“It’s fucking cold,” he growled, following Shepard and Liara as they began their trek back toward the garage access.

Why had she insisted on him coming to a snow-covered planet? Hadn’t he explained to her back on Therum that turians favored the heat much more? Lava over snow, he remembered saying.  
  
He had tried to complain in jest while he snapped on his armor, and Tali had been strangely supportive. Her behavior as of late had begun to make him question whether he was seeing her showing interest in him, but if she was, he wouldn’t return any. He’d never had the same fascination that many turians had with the quarians. He knew it was easy to get sucked into the idea of “oh good, someone who eats the same crap I do” and the allure and mystery of the bodies behind the suits, but Garrus thought the whole relationship seemed too dangerous for the quarians.  
  
Besides, his thoughts had been drifting in a far more uncomfortable direction lately.  
  
Spirits, he'd actually _bared_ his fucking throat to Shepard.

At least she hadn’t understood.

He wasn't sure he did, either.

Fucking Chellick, stirring things.

He just...maybe it was because he wanted that attention, that unique friendship with this amazing human and didn't want to share it with another turian yet. He didn't know.

What Garrus _did_ know was that Shepard had wanted him on Noveria with her because she was worried about the rumors of Benezia being there. If they were accurate, which they had turned out to be, he knew she wanted a friend to back her up if things went to shit with Liara. He loved that she placed such trust in him.

So far, they had had to work with an undercover agent, Parasini, to get a turian businessman to cooperate in bringing down a corrupt salarian in charge of Noveria’s affairs. On the surface it seemed irrelevant to their plan of investigating Saren and Benezia, but it was required to get through a bunch of shit for a literal garage pass, all of which made Shepard just grit her teeth and march onward anyway. After that they had paused by a hanar merchant, unrelated to the garage pass, but yet again another instance of someone sensing his Commander's kindness and capability. Shepard had immediately refused the hanar’s desire for her to help smuggle an item in for a customer, even if it was due to the various bureaucratic stupidity.

“I may be a Spectre, but I’m not screwing more with this place than I have to,” she had finally said, hands raised up in apology toward the hanar.

Garrus glanced to the Liara now as they went through back halls, curious to see how she was handling the fact that her mother was supposedly still visiting Peak 15, the lab area funded by Saren on Noveria. She seemed resolved about something. Shepard had made it clear to him before Liara had joined them in the airlock that Liara was not supportive of her mother’s decision to align with Saren; in fact, the young asari was questioning the authenticity of Benezia’s willingness in the whole situation. And that made Garrus wonder just what else Saren was capable of now if he could force a powerful asari matriarch under his control.

After their pass was approved at the end of the halls, they entered the garage. Shepard quickly bent down, motioning them with her hands to spread out. Garrus ran for some cover, curiously staring after the Commander, before the now familiar metallic smell hit him. “Geth,” he growled out low.

“Liara, lay out a singularity! Garrus, I want you overloading in between shots!”

Garrus immediately complied with Shepard’s order. In moments like these, his turian instincts kicked in, eyes tight and senses sensitive. Pulling the opening assault rifle from his back, he popped out from cover to see two geth troopers floating in a singularity field. Quickly he dispersed them, managing to also overload the shields of a geth juggernaut coming their way. Garrus’s visor picked up instant changes to the large geth’s readings, indicating that Shepard had sabotaged the machine.

Within five minutes the place was empty of active geth. Yet another brief fight to rile up his heart rate. Shepard rose to his right just as a small group of humans and a turian entered behind them from the access, no doubt alerted to all the gunfire. The one human female who had greeted them at docking was there, too, hands on her hips, demanding to know what had happened.

“Geth. Isn’t it obvious?” Shepard snapped.

Garrus stood and moved next to the Commander, prepared to kill anyone who attempted to harm her. They'd seen enough on this damn bought-and-paid for planet to know that anything could be slanted for her to be in such danger. His closeness made the opposing humans place hands on their weapons in turn. It was the turian’s reactions, however, that caught his attention.

_“Is the human lying?”_ He asked the question in their native tongue, garnering a dark look from his human superior.

Garrus’s growl rumbled in his chest. _"No. Try anything, and I’ll rip your faceplates off.”_

_“You have an interesting smell right now. Feeling...protective?”_

Garrus took another step forward, his confusing instincts to keep the other turian away from Shepard now starting to control him.

“Garrus,” Shepard warned.

He backed down a little in his stance, though his eyes were definitely trained on the turian now. _Stupid barefaced idiot_ , he thought.

“Listen, there is no way that any geth could have gotten through our security,” the human officer argued.

Shepard took an aggressive step forward. Liara did the same behind her next to Garrus. “Look at the dead synthetic bodies.”

The woman glanced behind them, catching sight of the juggernaut. Conversation ensued as they all tried to figure out how the geth had been smuggled inside. A consensus was finally made that Benezia herself had brought them in her containers, hidden with advanced technology. She had been the only guest to recently arrive besides they themselves, and she'd _definitely_ had lots of cargo.

“How many do you think we could be dealing with out there?” Shepard asked.

“We'd assumed she'd be bringing in laboratory equipment.” The woman shrugged, though she sounded nervous. “So it could be hundreds. Maybe a few thousand? They could have packed tightly in those crates.”

Garrus’s mind reeled. It could mean an entire settlement take over. “Spirits, Shepard.”

“I have faith in you,” she replied. He swallowed a little, feeling small warmth spread through him; it was a new sensation that happened often since they had openly declared their friendship, and one he was very new to feeling at all.

Shepard spoke with the other human for a few more moments before she beckoned he and Liara to follow her toward the Mako sitting at the end of the garage. Thinking about how it was essentially a rental, Garrus stepped forward. “Shepard....”

“You’re driving, big guy,” she confirmed for him. “Watch the ice out there.”

Garrus nodded, giving her a small flash of his teeth with a quick lift of his mandibles before crawling through the hatch. She settled to his left, while Liara nestled behind him. Garrus started the vehicle up, readying the systems and getting a small amount of heat venting into the very cold Mako. He exhaled a little before he began pressing buttons, making them roll forward as the garage door rose up.  
  
Already he missed the lava on Therum.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE: RACHNI PURGE**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Garrus and Liara followed Shepard down the back corridor. With some stupid sense of glee, he couldn’t help reliving that terrifying first moment when they had encountered rachni bursting out of the grates not far from the entrance of Peak 15. Shepard had reared up, pistol off aim, and screamed at the top of her lungs, “WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?”  
  
It sure as hell beat thinking about all the security footwork they'd had to do to get _to_ this lab of craziness, which had included but wasn't limited to a VI reset, geth removal, and driving around a snowy, slick mountain path and almost zooming right off near a Colossus.

Thinking more at that time the rachni appeared than he or Shepard had been, Liara had quickly flung the rachni into a singularity field, stopping them from getting sprayed with acid balls. Garrus shot them immediately, bringing them down as Shepard fired two more rounds for good measure. Then about a dozen more.

She had turned to him for an answer. Her boots had jumped back from the noxious green blood, and she seemed more like a squeamish female than Garrus could have ever imagined. The trait was so _not_ Shepard as he'd come to know her, and it made him want to roll around, laughing, as he’d seen vids of humans do.  
  
“Answer me!” she ordered, a toe of one boot reaching out to poke a rachni corpse. “Ew!”

“I can’t believe,” Liara began as she stared at the insect-like creatures.

Garrus swallowed another chuckle at Shepard’s humongous eyes. “They’re rachni, Shepard. I'd know the look of it from any old war stories.”

“What?” Her head snapped fast to Liara. “That’s impossible.”

“Normally I would agree, Commander. I have no idea how to explain this, other than obviously this Binary Helix lab has been dabbling in things far beyond legal definitions,” Liara murmured, eyeing the nearest corpse. “Male soldiers. Interesting. Perhaps that means there is a queen around.”

Garrus sighed. “Saren has to be behind this somehow. Maybe he wants foot soldiers?”

“That’s what his geth are,” Shepard retorted. “Maybe...maybe a distraction from a bigger threat? You know, have the galactic races focused on a renewed rachni threat and away from his own?”

“Maybe,” Liara nodded with Garrus’s agreement.

Garrus left his face twitch in a turian smile. He couldn’t help it. “Commander, you don’t like bugs, do you?”

“Bugs? Who does? Squirmy, slimy, crawly things, giant like maws or quick like these...hell no.” Shepard rubbed her forehead with the back of her pistol. “I forgot what rachni looked like. And now...I will never forget.”

“Nightmares for sure, eh?”

“Shove it, turian.”

After that last laugh and many more bouts of rachni and security breaches, they had helped survivors at the lab of Peak 15. They had aided a doctor in making a cure for other employees sickened by an experiment, killed some armed and aggressive asari commandos, and found and rescued a strange, inconsolable volus.

Now as they rode the elevator back down to purge the hot labs of as many rachni as they could, Shepard was twitching, shifting in her footsteps. Garrus noticed her inability to stand still and stepped closer to her. “Commander?”

“There’s going to be lots of those damn things, isn’t there?” she asked, her voice sounding somewhat smaller for some reason.  
  
He didn't laugh this time.

Liara nodded as she examined her pistol in her hands. “I believe so. The purge should kill them off, though.”

“As long as we get the hell back in the elevator and it starts moving before the detonation. If not, we’re roasted, too,” Garrus reminded them. He was not looking forward to this. Not at all. “Shepard, I request a bonus for this mission.”

She cracked out a laugh, making him feel better. “You got it.”

Before them the elevator settled, and its doors hissed open. Shepard froze, gun ready as she scanned the room. Garrus could hear her heartbeat ringing in his ears, nearly as clearly as his visor was reading it. She was terrified of the rachni. He couldn’t blame her. Those damned creatures had killed many of his kin before. Still, he pressed close to her side. “Bugs. Just big bugs. Remember.”

“Big bugs,” she murmured like a mantra and stepped out of the elevator. She paused.

Liara moved next to them and frowned, too. “There are none here.”

“Not yet,” a voice said from somewhere in front of them.

Shepard raised her pistol and stepped closer. A human scientist sat in a chair at the far end of the room, a defeated look on his face. Shepard lowered her gun as she got close enough to see he was no threat. “Sir?”

“I am Yaroslev Tartakovsky.” He exhaled deeply before speaking again. “You must be here about the rachni. A derelict ship was found with a rachni egg, a queen, in fact. We were ordered to breed and study them here...but everything’s gone so wrong.”

Garrus blanched. “You idiots. Why would you have a project where you _bring_ _back_ the rachni?”

“I signed a contract and was kept here to fulfill it.” Tartakovsky leaned forward. “I had no choice. And they did not listen to me. They keep them from her, from the queen, and without the queen's control, they are dangerous. So we've all paid the price for that ignorance.”

Shepard squinted. “These rachni...you're saying they could be controlled?”

“Not now. No matter the queen, they are past saving! You must activate the neutron purge and kill them in the hot labs, lest they get out and overrun the planet and more. The galaxy could be at stake with the rate they'll hatch. Here, take—”

Garrus had no warning but the slight smell.

“Shepard!” he shouted and pulled her back behind him just as a rachni burst from a different ventilation port behind the scientist. It was a close call; had she stayed where she was, the rachni’s claw would have gone through the scientist _and_ the Commander.

Liara froze the hidden rachni in a stasis field, and together they brought it down, able to see now where it had snuck out from a grate from behind.

“Fuck!” Shepard yelled, almost as an afterthought. Given all they'd dealt with today, Garrus felt the sentiment deeply. She paced before the corpse, stressed and shocked. “How are we going to set this purge off? The VI said we’d need a code, right? And this guy is now _dead_ , ergo not able to tell us said code.”

“Wait!” Liara bent and searched the scientist’s body. She pulled a datapad from him and handed it to Shepard. “Here, we’ve got it. Luckily he had it written down.”

They moved into the back room and activated Mira, the VI. Shepard swallowed nervously in front of Garrus.  
  
“Once we do this...there’s no going back. Is everyone ready?” she asked, her voice tense.

Garrus glanced to Liara and found the asari wavering, but standing still. She blinked, her large blue eyes flicking back and forth. He took a deep breath, cracked his neck and nodded to Shepard.

“All right. When I do this, we move. You shoot what you have to, but you get your asses to that elevator _regardless_ of what happens around you. If I go down, you keep going. Do you understand?” Shepard had somehow slipped back into her Commander’s personality, as if the squeamishness she showed near the rachni had been all for show.

Garrus felt his brow plates dip. There was absolutely no way he would leave her behind. Thinking cleverly, he suggested, “You run first. Liara second. I go behind you both.”

“Fine,” Shepard agreed, saying she'd get the elevator open again for them. “Liara, just...throw as many singularities as you can and don’t look back.”

The young asari doctor shivered a little, but gave a strong nod all the same.

Shepard eyed them both before turning back to Mira. “I wish to activate the neutron purge.”

“Code authorization is required to activate the purge,” the VI responded pleasantly.

“I have the code.” Shepard looked down to the datapad, ignoring the sounds in the other room that meant more rachni were standing between them and the elevator, likely following through the same vent the other one had prior. “875-020-079 Code Omega.”

Mira flickered as she processed. “Code accepted. Purge will be initiated in two minutes.”

Shepard spun, her hand pulling her pistol out and her foot kicking against the holo-lock on the door. “MOVE YOUR ASSES NOW!”

Garrus watched with horror as the door opened and at least ten grown rachni soldiers hovered outside of it. Immediately he saw green acid spit fly toward him and ducked, wishing he had donned his helmet. Shepard plunged ahead, not even seeming aware as she fired her pistol and ran, not looking back.

Liara followed ahead of him as he took off, discharging some dampening and firing several rounds of his shredder ammo into two near rachni, killing them in the process. Three singularities kept about four rachni at bay for the moment, but others popped out of the nearby grates behind them. Garrus’s blue eyes watched as Shepard made it to the elevator, opened the door and threw Liara inside as the asari closed in on the exit. Garrus felt himself burst with speed and bent, his long legs sending him flying over rachni that aimed at him with their tentacle claws. He leaped into the elevator and landed harshly on his side as he rolled, ends of his fringe painfully scraping the floor.

Shepard entered and slammed her fist against the inside console, screaming at the doors to close faster. Garrus stood as fast as possible, unsure of the amount of time they had left. The closest rachni flung out its claw into the elevator. Shepard ducked and shot at it. Then, just as the door went to close, the claw struck out again and caught around Shepard’s arm, yanking her backward. She let out a piercing scream as the top door of the elevator slid to crush her throat. The rachni that had a hold of her screeched and moved in for the kill.

Garrus acted without thinking. Almost as if watching someone else do it, his arm shot out, punching the rachni right in the face. The shock of the hit made the creature loosen its grip somewhat on Shepard’s upper arm. Garrus stepped backward, pulled Shepard harshly into his chest and with momentum, and landed hard on his ass with her on top of him right as the elevator doors closed and cut the rachni claw in half.

No one moved, no one breathed as the contraption slid upward and the resounding explosion thundered. The blast nearly burst their eardrums, and the entire elevator rattled from the shock waves. Liara fell to the floor beside them, unable to stand against the pressure.

Shepard had collapsed against Garrus, and he held her tight, his eyes clinched shut as the elevator continued upward, shakily.

Then, as if it had not almost been blown apart by the purge, the elevator settled, dinged, and politely opened its doors.

Garrus finally opened his eyes at the ping, surprised by it. Liara was breathing heavily next to him, and Shepard was still atop his chest. Garrus sat up with some difficulty and turned the Commander, his eyes flowing over her with worry. “S-Shepard?” he croaked out, unable to speak beyond that. Spirits, please, let her be fine.

Her eyelids fluttered at her name. Slowly she opened them and looked right into his face, her expression dazed. “We...made it?” she half-whispered, unable to look anywhere else.

Garrus nodded. “I think so.”  
  
It was only at that point that he registered their position: how she lay across him on her left side, her head tucked closed to his chin...and how his arms were tight around her, unable to let go. Despite feeling sick with unused adrenaline and fear from his natural stress hormone response, his body—his instincts, even—pushed him to hold on, to keep her safe. The pressure of her small form against him was sweet, even if it wasn’t settled in the right, needful places. Garrus mentally forced his hands not to relocate her just a smidge, and that he had to control his body in such a way scared and confused the crap out of him. He felt relieved when her eyes cleared and she wriggled, testing her limbs.

“Wow.” Just like that, she was back. Shepard pushed off of him and out of his hold. Garrus watched as she struggled to her knees and then slowly rose. With her right hand she helped Liara up. “Your cheek is bleeding. Anywhere else?”

The asari shook her head. “I don’t know. I’m alive.”

“Yeah. That we are.” Shepard then extended Garrus her hand. He took it, feeling tightness in her grip while she stared into him before licking her lip. The random movement fascinated him, made him unable to draw his eyes away. “Thank you.”

He shook his head and refocused on her face. “No problem, Commander. Your arm okay?”

Shepard rolled her left shoulder and winced. “Pulled, I think. I’ll be fine. You okay?”

“Yeah. I think I am, by some bizarre miracle.” Garrus gazed over his body, seeing scratches all over his armor from where the rachni claws had tried to grab or pierce him. “I don’t know how we made it out of there.”

“By the Goddess, me neither. Never doing that again,” Liara muttered and coughed.

Garrus followed the two women out of the elevator where they took in their surroundings. Shepard gave a strangled laugh and wiped her brow. “Escaping rachni in a neutron purge, now crossed off my ‘never-wanted-to-do-this-shit’ bucket list.” She laughed again and moved to the left. “Let’s find that damn med lab. I think someone should give us some more medigel after that.”  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR: BENEZIA AND THE RACHNI QUEEN**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Shepard could feel the tension in Liara as Benezia struggled to explain Saren’s mind control, of how that giant ship from Eden Prime had had something to do with it. Something about exposure to it changed a person, she said. Something...gnawing in the back of one's head. Indoctrination of some sort. And that scared Shepard, the words reminding her eerily of those of the seemingly crazed scientist she'd stumbled across on Eden Prime.  
  
It had been a _hell_ of a fight just to get Benezia snapped out of her murderous, biotic rage. And she hadn't been alone; the three had fought off asari commandos and geth just to get to her. Shepard shifted her feet, saddened and uncomfortable at the situation playing out in front of her. Garrus edged toward her, probably sensing some distress.  
  
The Reapers were real, the matriarch said. And the geth and the Conduit were all part of a grander plan involving them using Saren as a spearhead to achieve their goals. Her own involvement had come in the form of trying to deny him power through her means and instead trying to help free the former Spectre from whatever control was also working over he himself...but then she, too, had been overcome.  
  
It was heartbreaking. And every second of explanation fought for against that control cost Liara as much as it did her mother.

“He’s looking for the Mu relay, Liara,” Benezia said, hands forward over a console as she tried to keep control of her own mind. “I...I can feel...it is as if he is at my back, he is so close. Whispering.”

“Mother, please, _fight this_! Don't let it control you!”  
  
“I...can't, Liara. I am sorry, little wing. I’ve always been proud of you.”

Liara gave a sharp cry as Benezia arched her back and whipped to face them, the fight in her redirected and her face distorted from grief into dark hatred once more. As the asari Matriarch prepped a powerful biotic blast, Shepard darted forward and slammed her down against the wall. “Liara!” She shouted over Benezia’s raging screams and flails, “Do you want to do this or should I?”

“I....”

Shepard nodded as Liara put her face in her hands and turned away.  
  
Shepard let go of Benezia long enough to strong arm the asari under the throat with her left arm and pull her pistol up with her right hand. She shot the asari, Liara's _mother_ , through the side of her head, making the wound away from visible eyes. At the gun blast, Liara screamed and turned, tears pouring from her large blue eyes.  
  
And all Shepard could do was carefully lay Benezia’s body down before turning to Liara and putting a steady hand on her shoulder. Her face was dark, her bangs hiding her eyes a moment. “Liara, I...I’m so sorry.”

“We didn’t have a choice, Shepard,” she cried out and began to shake. “You shouldn’t be sorry.”

“I am for you losing your mother,” Shepard soothed her pulling Liara close to rub her hand up and down the young asari’s back. “I can’t imagine what you’re feeling, Liara. I’ll do whatever I can to help you.”

“Thanks, Commander.” Liara sniffed a little and regained her composure.

Garrus moved closer now, shifting his weight between his feet. “I’m sorry, too, Liara. I’m not sure I could have done it either.”

Liara nodded, showing gratitude for his words as she exhaled deeply and gazed to where her mother lay. “At least she tried to help us, tried to do the right thing.”

“If she could break his hold for even that long, Liara, your mother was amazingly strong. And I know that she distilled that trait in you, even if you don’t know or see it yet.” Shepard’s voice was calm and soft as she tried to comfort Liara. “If she has anything on her that you...you know. A bracelet or something of hers....”

Liara brushed past Shepard, indicating that she had understood the meaning in the Commander’s words. As the young doctor retrieved an item hidden away in one of the Matriarch’s pockets and the disc of Saren’s, Garrus jolted. Shepard turned, pistol raised as a nearby dead asari commando rose to her feet, slowly beginning to shuffle toward them.

“Shepard,” Garrus spoke low, wary and very confused.

Shepard nodded. The walking dead was _new_ out of all the new shit she'd seen today. As she went to pull the trigger, the dead asari spoke. “Peace.”

A light shrieking noise echoed further ahead in the chamber with the rachni queen. Shepard lowered her gun when she realized what was going on, seeing some sort of connection between the rachni limb floating in the chamber and the dead asari's movements. “Are you using her to speak with us?”  
  
“Yes,” came the queen’s reply through the commando’s mouth.

Garrus stepped closer to Shepard, vibrations from his voice audible over her audio. “That’s just...weird.”

“What is it?” Shepard asked the rachni.

While telepathy was the least of things to rattle Shepard that day, her question began probably one of the strangest conversations Shepard had ever had in her life. The queen explained that the rachni soldiers, the “children,” were raised away from her and so were in discord and unable to be controlled by her way of speaking—her “songs.” Just as the scientist had tried to tell them. Shepard briefly asked, to be sure as he'd also said no, if she hadn’t detonated the neutron purge in the hot labs earlier whether the rachni could have been saved and restored to the queen, but the queen, too, said it was impossible. However, she said that future children with her would listen to her, would be guided.  
And so the queen asked to be let go—to live.

At that, Garrus gave a strange laugh. “Shepard. You do realize that, uh, they started a _galactic war_ before. That’s why the krogan were ever uplifted. And then the krogan rebellions happened, the genophage following it. Rachni were thought dead and would have been still if this queen’s egg had never been found, as far as we know. Can you honestly look at history and still pity her?”

Shepard swallowed, her heart heavy and her mind oscillating between the choices. “Explain the war,” she ordered. Shepard had not been alive for any of it and so lacked perspectives.

“We have...small memories...of mother’s cries. Of dark songs distorting us,” the queen replied using the asari's vocal chords. ”We were not part of the war. We want peace for the children.”

Liara watched Shepard from the Commander’s left side as Garrus titled his head and gave her his own signature sideways glance. Shepard looked to both of them before taking a step forward with a firm head shake. “I can’t kill her. It’s genocide.”

“Shepard,” Garrus started.

She spun so fast that he snapped into a subordinate position, surprising her even in her defensive tone. “Say it, Garrus.”

“Just make the decision for the right reason, not the one you wish,” he complied. Garrus brought his face downward a little.

Shepard sighed and turned back around. “I am. Because I think it too similar that Benezia fought something in her head just as they seemed influenced by something. And this queen wasn’t part of that war. She wants peace, and I can give that to her.”  
  
Liara's fingers brushed her mouth, her still wet eyes now catching in thought.  
  
Shepard glanced toward the queen, stating firmly, “As long as you agree to retreat and hide and never be heard from. If I hear anything bad, if any trouble happens, if I trace an outbreak of dangerous rachni to you, then you will leave me no choice but to commit a crime I hate immensely. And I will do it.”

The queen’s unique vocals sounded through her glass container as the dead commando slumped slightly, mouth still moving. “We will do as you ask. Thank you. Thank you.”

Shepard moved to the console and, with a tight jaw, released the queen from her imprisonment. She watched the rachni move from the container through a door in the side and escape. Quietly, she turned to face her squad mates. Liara appeared concerned but supportive. Garrus was more unreadable than usual, even with the knowledge she had gained from Caios.

“I’m waiting,” Shepard said, realizing how on edge she was from fearing their loyalty change. She tapped her foot out of nervousness, but worried that they figured it a sign of her being aggressive.

Liara stepped forward. “Commander...to even be asked to make that choice is not fair, and your decision shouldn’t then reflect on you in a negative light regardless of how you chose. In truth it should be made by a board of species deciding together, and that...wasn't possible here. I agree with you, though. If she betrays this chance, then justice will be sought. But maybe she won’t. Maybe something else had interfered with the rachni then, like you suggested, if the simple separation from the queen mother caused the soldiers we encountered in the labs to be so dangerous. And if that is the case, then whatever tampered with them caused the war. They would have been completely misunderstood. Considering what just happened to my mother...I would not dismiss such a notion.”

“Thank you, Liara,” Shepard said with great respect and a hint of relief; she was thankful for the asari’s way with words. Still, deep down she knew it wasn’t Liara’s opinion that would have really hurt her. It would be Garrus’s.

His mandibles’ position, tight to his face, was not a good sign. Then he gave a sigh and put his gun in his holster, as if resigned. “I understand your decision, Commander, and I’ll respect it. I just hope that doesn’t come back to bite us one day.”

Better than she'd been hoping for, Shepard thought as she relaxed more. “Thanks, Garrus. If that day comes, I’ll be there.”  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE: READY TO RUMBLE**

  
  


  
  


“She did _what_?” Wrex bellowed, heavy steps stomping toward the medbay.

Shepard was sitting in the rear room with Liara, discussing matters that Benezia had unveiled to them concerning the Mu relay search, indoctrination, and Saren’s strange ship; most of all, though, Shepard sat quietly to let the poor young asari vent her grief. When Wrex entered angrily, his storming rage had Shepard moving to the door’s opening, her eyes narrowed.

Behind Wrex, at the medbay’s entrance, Kaidan and Ashley were watching closely.

“Shepard,” he grumbled, one large red eye fixing on her.

She didn’t back down. After all, hadn’t a krogan charged her twice on Therum? “Wrex.”

“Tell me they’re lying. You did _not_ just let the rachni queen go.”

Understanding now why Wrex was pissed off, she crossed her arms in the doorway and leaned against its side. “I did. I had very good reasons to do so, and I can promise you that I was thinking deeply when I made that decision.”

The krogan took a dangerous step forward. “Shepard, you had better understand that those consequences are all on you.”

“I do, all too well, Wrex. I promise you.”

“You can't know the damage. The cost that was paid. You have no idea what you've done.” Wrex turned his back on her, preparing to angrily leave. Ashley and Kaidan immediately removed themselves from sight, letting the krogan have a wide berth.

Liara had moved close behind her. “Shepard. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just...I know I wasn’t around for those wars. Hell, maybe Wrex’s family was. Maybe _he_ was. But I made a decision, and I have to stick by it,” she replied, feeling punched a bit by the angry krogan's words.

Liara smiled. “Yes, Shepard. For what it’s worth, I think you made the right decision.”

“Thank you, Liara.”

After a few more minutes, Tali came running up to Shepard and Liara. “Shepard,” she breathed heavily over her comm, “You have to get down to the cargo bay.”

“What’s going on?” Shepard demanded, instantly alert.

Tali began walking back toward the elevator, Shepard in tow. “Garrus and Wrex are tearing each other apart.”

“WHAT?”

“Wrex went crazy down there! He’s still angry about the rachni. I don’t know if he said or did something, but Garrus just lost it! Engineer Adams and I heard a loud sound and both of us ran up the ramps to find Garrus and Wrex fighting. Garrus got in some pretty bad swipes with his talons before he took a nasty punch from Wrex,” Tali recounted, wringing her small, three-fingered hands in worry as the elevator slowly began to settle.

Shepard steeled her shoulders in preparation, but her mouth dropped open when she saw the team members locked together.  
  
Wrex loosened Garrus’s grip and tossed the turian, sending him flying against the Mako. Thankfully Garrus was still in armor, so the echoing metallic thud was a little more reassuring than the idea of him hitting the vehicle with the same force and no padding. Garrus was immediately on his feet, crouching low, darting to the side easily as Wrex charged by him. Garrus swung, his very sharp talons catching the light and Shepard’s eyes, as they connected with Wrex’s neck. Feral noises were streaming from Garrus in a series of clicks before a loud roar erupted from his mouth. Shepard had only heard such a sound a few times in her childhood and could only mildly describe it as a cross between a sharp, but low hawk cry and the forceful energy of a big cat’s thundering roar. Garrus’s body prepped to spring at an eager Wrex: His mandibles flared as he opened his jaw, revealing the usually hidden rows of sharp cylindrical teeth along the sides of his jaws. The scene sent shivers through Shepard, forcing her to remind herself that the creature was still Garrus—just a very pissed off version.

Shepard took two steps out of the elevator, inhaled deeply, and shouted as loud as she could, “ENOUGH.”

Both aliens froze at her fierce shout. Garrus slowly turned to look at her, blue blood dripping down part of his face and blackish-red blood staining his gleaming talons. His normally clear blue eyes were wild and dangerous with predatory intent. Wrex mimicked the turian’s movements, turning to Shepard just as slow, the slits of his red eyes focusing on her with anger.

“I don’t know what started this fucking crap, but it is _over_. Do you both hear me?”

Neither spoke, just watched her. The sight admittedly unnerved her with their animalistic focused eyes; after all, she’d never had to handle an interspecies fight before, but Shepard was also getting pissed off now, and that anger is what fueled her to ignore the nervousness.

She took several steps forward until she was dangerously close to them. She swallowed. Even Shepard could feel the wild tension sifting itself around the room, the type that could make humans forget that the two people in front of them were intelligent and not some terrifying creatures. Shepard had to remedy this, to remind everyone, fast. “This is _my fucking ship._ You are here as my _guests_ and my _allies_. And you are _more_ than welcome to get the fuck _off_ at our next stop. I have _had_ it.”

That statement snapped Garrus back into reality. His eyes seemed to soften some from the former deadly sharpness they had once had. He straightened in front of her, flexing fingers on one hand into a fist at his side. Garrus bowed his head low, remaining very still.

“Garrus?” Shepard couldn’t believe how fast the change had happened.  
  
“If you wish me to go, Shepard, I will.” The sadness and shame in his voice was readily evident to anyone who heard it.

She sighed. “I don’t want anyone to go, but if you can’t get along, then we have to figure something out. I will not have fighting like this on my ship. Friendly sparring is one thing, this was obviously another.”

He raised his head, mandibles going a little slack. “I understand, but—”

“You both have to make this up to me. I want this fucking room cleaned up. The Mako needs checked on for the Garrus-sized dent in its side.” Shepard spun on her foot to face Wrex, who had started watching her in an intimidating unblinking way. “And if I hear anyone question my decision about the rachni again, they can leave. It’s all in my fucking report. An agreement was made. If the queen betrays that, I will gladly hunt her down and end her life...hers and the rest of her kind. Do you get that? But I know that to have a future, chances have to be taken, risks bet on. Not unlike me taking you all on this mission to prove to humanity that diversity and cooperation are what the galaxy truly needs!”

Wrex raised his head up. He took a few steps, closing the distance between them. Garrus immediately began to growl, catching both of their attentions. Shepard now had no doubt as to what had started the fight, judging by the way Wrex’s head snapped toward Garrus after the growl echoed in the cargo bay. Shepard raised her hand up. “Stand down, Garrus.”

Garrus seemed to struggle with himself before he finally relaxed his aggressive stance. Deep vibrations still throbbed from him, despite his efforts. “Yes, Commander.”

Wrex did the human equivalent of raising an eyebrow by manipulating the muscles around his eyes before returning his focus to Shepard. Then the krogan surprised her by extending his large hand. “I respect a strong warrior, Shepard. You’ve still got my gun if you want it.”

“I do.” She reached out and shook his massive hand, thinking in the back of her head that if the krogan just squeezed too hard that she would feel all her bones break at once. After they let go, Shepard stepped back. “Both of you get to the medbay. Wrex, I know you’re probably going to be fine with the regeneration ability you’ve got, but I don’t care. Infection is a bitch if it happens.”

Wrex gave her a curt nod and walked past the now gathered crowd of engineers and crew members. Shepard’s green eyes traveled back to Garrus. “Well?”

He took a tentative step toward her. “Commander, I...I’m sorry.”

Sensing he was on the verge of something, she nodded and made a hand motion to the crowd in the room. She waited until they had all dispersed before she uncrossed her arms and motioned for him to follow her to the elevator. Wrex had already ridden up by the time they had gotten there.

“Garrus, how bad are you?”

“I’m fine, Shepard,” he said quietly, not looking at her.

As they entered the now empty elevator and sent it on its upward journey, she moved to stand in front of him. “I want the truth. What the hell just happened?”

Garrus’s blue eyes searched her face with emotions she couldn’t decipher. Finally he sighed. “He was bitching about what you had done. I heard an insult and told him to shut up. He got argumentative with me. Another insult or two came out, and I snapped.”

“What kind of insult?”

Garrus looked away from her when he realized the elevator had stopped on the next floor. Shepard smacked the console behind her, locking it. He still didn’t look at her. Gingerly, she placed a firm hand on his left upper arm. “Garrus.”

He closed his eyes. “I probably just overreacted. Still, I don’t like an arrogant krogan making derogatory generalizations about humans toward you. You’re my friend, Shepard.”

“That’s what it was?”

“Yes,” Garrus sighed. She didn’t push him any further, though she figured something else had been said to get him so angry.

“Well. Next time, let me crack him one,” Shepard replied, her hand undoing the lock on the console. “Let’s get you bandaged up.”  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX: A GOOD FIGHT**

  
  


  
  


In the medbay, Garrus sat propped on the edge of one bed as Wrex leaned against the wall, a few small bandages covering the fresh deep gashes on one side of his face.

“Take a breath, Garrus,” Chakwas ordered.

He obeyed, but still barely managed to stop his shout when she shoved his right shoulder back into socket. Garrus hung his head down when she moved to check the bleeding areas around the left side of his face.

Wrex grunted in front of him. “You’re not bad for a turian, Garrus.”

“What makes you say that? I’m a horrible turian,” Garrus joked in reply, wincing from the stinging of the medicines against his cuts and the deep throbbing of his shoulder.

“You didn’t tell Shepard about me nearly ripping your arm off,” Wrex said, eyes very perceptive.

Chakwas pretended to ignore the conversation. “Garrus, bed rest and absolutely no going out on the next mission or two. That shoulder needs time to heal, not more damage from using guns.”

He relented, though it pained him. “Yes, Doctor.”

Chakwas moved to wash up and left them in private. Garrus sighed in the now quiet room. “I was fine.”

“But why lie?”

“Because she’s my friend. I didn’t want her to worry,” Garrus replied, absently rubbing his shoulder through his under armor clothing. His chest and shoulder armor lay on the bed next to him where Chakwas had left it to examine him.

Wrex chuckled low, making Garrus nervous. “Or you didn’t want her to think you unworthy.”

“Of what, Wrex?” Garrus asked, appearing to be uninterested.

Wrex hummed in response, refusing to answer. They sat in silence for a few moments before he spoke again. “That was a good fight.”

“Don’t tell Shepard that. She might actually kick you out the airlock.”

The krogan chuckled in response. “You obviously needed one, turian. Don’t turians have stress issues or something?”

Garrus nodded. “Yeah. When very stressed, we need to release hormones either through fighting or, ah, well. You can guess. That’s why sparring is normal on turian ships. If we don’t, we can become dangerous, more feral. Primal. Like how your blood rage controls you.”

“Ah,” Wrex replied. He pushed himself off the wall. “Well, for what it’s worth...I let the blood rage get the better of me. I actually respect Shepard. I didn’t mean anything I said.”

“Good to know. Would hate to have to kill you for it,” Garrus retorted.

“By the way, turian—grow a quad some time. If you can stand your own against me for a bit, I think you can own up to wanting her. I don't get it, but it's your thing. Whatever.”

“I...um. No, I....” Garrus's jaw dropped hugely low before he just sighed, nodding, knowing he couldn't hide his scent changes and sounds around her from the krogan. Yes, there _was_ something to the way she made him feel. Something confusing, but...getting more and more noticeable. And...while he was growing curious, he wasn't sure about the rest of what the big red krogan had said. His friendship with Shepard was too important to let other people throw meaning at it.

Wrex turned to leave, nodding his head in respect—respect that Garrus had earned, regardless of how pissed off Shepard was. He sighed, thinking of how furious she had been, of how the echoing power in her voice had immediately brought him out of his primal instincts and back to his civilized senses. Hell, maybe she should break up fights between turians as a side job. She seemed amazing at it.

Garrus examined his talons, briefly wondering if they had scared Shepard. He knew that the human crew who had been nearby had all stared at the sharp claws; perhaps the sight had brought back nasty memories of the First Contact War; it was possible that some of the crew had even fought in that war. He felt slightly bad about that, but he felt worse wondering if Shepard had been scared, if him going primal had reminded her that he was so...alien to her, a monster, even.

When she had reprimanded he and Wrex, Garrus had never thought that he could feel so guilty.

It amazed him.

In C-Sec, he had openly questioned orders, gone against others, and taken the reprimands without a second thought. But when those same biting remarks came from Shepard, it was different. Their friendship mattered to him, and he didn’t want to lose it. In fact, he was trying to be _better_ about everything. He knew he had the reputation of a hothead, or in turian speak an overaggressive youngling, but he wasn’t a child anymore. Garrus needed some discipline, and that was why he had elected to follow Shepard onto the _Normandy_.

He shifted, feeling medicine Chakwas had given him beginning to stave off the pain radiating from his shoulder. Garrus swallowed. He’d have to explain the injury to Shepard so she wouldn’t take him out on any immediate missions.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN: GARRUS GETS INTEL**

  
  


  
  


It turned out that Garrus hadn’t needed to tell Shepard about his shoulder, because she hadn’t taken him. Hell, she, Kaidan and Wrex had been off the ship before he had even awoken in the medbay. When he returned to his haunt in the cargo hold and found the Mako gone, Garrus swallowed down the feelings of hurt. She left without even saying anything, he thought, a little despondent. Having gone out on nearly every mission with the Commander since Therum, Garrus felt like this was punishment. Had she really been so angry with him? But she’d taken Wrex. Perhaps she was trying to prove that the old angry krogan could trust her. Garrus wasn’t sure, so he still felt horrid at his post.

When they hadn’t returned in several hours, the worry began to eat in Garrus’s gut. He left the cargo bay to travel to the cockpit, thinking that Joker’s demeanor might help the situation.

“What’s up, Garrus?” Joker asked, swinging his head in greeting.

Garrus leaned against the wall next to them. “Nothing. Just...bored.”

“Well, you sound awfully worried and tense for someone who's just bored, Garrus. Might need to sneak one of my mags after all,” Joker replied. His chair rotated slightly to the left to give him a better view of the turian. “I’ve got several Fornax issues as well as some human ones, and I can forward you anything on your omni-tool that’s in electronic file.”

“You...really like porn.”

“Eh. Yeah, but if I don’t keep up the image, people might actually think I really love the downtime to myself and whatnot,” Joker said.

Garrus nodded. “I see.”

“Are you a porn man, Garrus?”

“Not particularly.”

“What? Come on. Haven’t you ever been curious?” Joker put his hands up. “All right, the last Fornax issue admittedly terrified me. I mean a hanar and an asari just shouldn’t...too many tentacles, you know?”

Garrus shook his head to rid himself of the images. “Damn it, Joker. If I have nightmares, I’m going to poison your coffee.”

Joker gave a hearty laugh. “I’ll just have Shepard take my cup from now on. You’d never dare poison her.” When Garrus didn’t reply and immediately became quiet, Joker did something he rarely did without his signature griping—he became serious. “Listen, Garrus, I understand what you’re going through.”

“You...do?”

“Yeah. Shepard didn’t even like me when she first came aboard. I was a little...distrustful of Nihlus, but more because of his Spectre status than his race. She about tore my head off once for some comments I had made...and then when I realized they had returned without Nihlus alive on Eden Prime, I felt bad.” Joker shifted a little in his chair, uncomfortable. “I told her I was sorry for Nihlus being lost when she finally came up to the cockpit afterward. Might not trust the Council, but I didn't want him _dead_ , you know?”

Garrus paused, thinking. Had Shepard harbored friendly feelings for Nihlus? He cleared his mind, rubbing his shoulder. “So how does that mean you understand what I’m feeling?”

“You’re worried. You care. You’re friends. After my apology, Shepard and I became friends. I mean she not only told me that my disease didn’t bother her or affect my job performance, but she makes me feel comfortable about it. I’d gladly break my hand to punch someone who mouthed off about her, so kudos on nailing Wrex,” Joker answered. He waited a moment before asking what Garrus was dreading he would. “What _did_ the old red bastard say, anyway, that got you so hyped?”

“Well, I was already tense. Turians have a hormonal stress response, and I wasn’t venting it out. So that didn’t help. But yeah, Wrex mouthed off some, and I let myself release pent up anger.”

“Impressive. You completely managed to evade answering me,” Joker said, smiling. “Try again.”

Garrus titled his head, debating his trust in the grinning pilot. “You won’t tell her?”

“No, Garrus. I’m not stupid. I heard all about those talons of yours,” Joker teased.

Garrus sighed in response, recalling his earlier fears. “Wrex did insult her by comparing her to a few of the many nasty metaphors and terms that we aliens share in our irritation against humans. But that wasn’t what got me so furious.”

“Well?”

“He insinuated something,” Garrus finally grumbled.

Joker completely swiveled in his chair to face Garrus, dragging out the sound of his word. “Ohhhh?”

Garrus crossed his arms. “Yeah. Everyone knows Shepard and I have become friends, and that she often has me out on her six. He claimed a particularly wrong kind of favoritism was going on.”

Joker stared at him for a moment before throwing his head back and laughing his ass off. Garrus couldn’t roll his eyes like he’d seen Shepard do, so he settled for giving the pilot a condescending move of his facial plates. “Gee, Joker, you’re so helpful.”

“It’s just...the idea....” Joker wiped his eyes. When Garrus only frowned, the pilot stopped laughing. “ _Holy shit_ , Garrus. Is it _true_?”

“Absolutely not. She’s human. What is it with people thinking that two individuals can’t be close friends?” Garrus snapped, still angry with Wrex and Chellick’s separate comments.

Joker eyed him with humor and suspicion. And a suspicious Joker was the last thing he needed right now.  
  
The pilot finally smiled as Garrus kept up a straight face. “I believe you, Garrus. It’s easy to really respect Shepard and get protective of her.”

“Yeah.”

“So, absolutely no ‘favoritism’ going on?”

“None. I’m just good at what I do and I complement her style. That’s all, besides us being friends,” Garrus murmured. “Sounds stupid but a human may be the closest friend I’ve ever had.”

“That’s not stupid. That’s good. We all need to branch out.”

“Turians aren’t very...well, we’re not typically very trusting or open with aliens,” Garrus amended his words, thinking of Chellick’s reaction to Shepard.

“That’s because of those large sticks you guys have wedged so far up your collective asses,” Joker said lightheartedly. “I think you're born with them.”

Garrus gave a snorting sound. “Uh huh.”

Suddenly his omni-tool lit up with a message. Garrus opened it, stunned to see it had Chellick’s name. Garrus turned from Joker. “Sorry, I need to take this.”

“Sure, sure.”  
  
He glanced down, focusing on the words:

_Garrus,_

_Some interesting information came across my desk this morning, thought you would want to know. It’s about Dr. Saleon. I know you worked his case, and I remember how pissed off you got about having to let him go to save the civilians._

_He’s going by Dr. Heart now. Sick, I know. Intel has tracked him to the Herschel system in the Kepler Verge. There’s a ship registered to the name—it’s the_ MSV Fedele _. If you’re in the area, then go do what you want. We both know he needs brought in to answer for his crimes, but I also know how personal this assignment got for you. So I’m keeping my judgment out of it._

_By the way, how is the beautiful Commander doing? Give her my regards and forward her address—I'd like to have some personal correspondence._

_Chellick_

Garrus growled low at his station and ignored Chellick's jab, too trapped in dark memories resurfacing about the disturbing salarian doctor he had failed to bring to justice. As the ship banked into descent to pick up the Mako, Garrus knew just who to discuss the matter with. He waited, arms crossed, until he saw the Mako appear.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT: ASKING FOR HELP**   
  
  


  
  


Shepard emerged from the Mako and stretched.  
  
Last night Wrex had surprised her by opening up more about his past work with mercenaries and even discussed the genophage. She’d known about the genophage, sure, but seeing the way Wrex was when he talked about it hit her hard. Eventually the krogan had apologized for his earlier behavior before asking her for a favor: the _Normandy_ had been close by a planet where some pirates where holding up, and the krogan had recognized them as the group that had obtained very personal goods belonging to Wrex’s family.

Shepard had paused by the medbay before going to the cargo hold, checking in on Garrus. She'd debated waking him then, to let him know, but the sight of him sleeping caused her to quietly back out of the room. It was kind of sweet, she had decided. He had lied to her about his shoulder; she had realized that when she saw the bindings around it and his chest.

Thankfully Wrex had helped Ashley fix the Mako up before the trip to get Wrex’s family armor back. There was still a mild dent in the side, but it was functioning fine.

Now as Shepard brought her head up from stretching, she found Garrus at his station staring at her. Immediately, she knew something was wrong.

She waved Wrex and Kaidan off behind her, dismissing them, as she approached the stressed turian. “What is it?”

“Personal matter. We need to talk, if you’ve got a minute.”

“Of course. Come with me.” Shepard walked past him into the elevator. They didn’t speak as she unlocked her cabin’s door.

Shepard moved inside, setting her guns down on a bench near the door to clean them later. She turned to sit on her bed, bending to start unsnapping her boots and leg armor off.

Garrus paced in front of her, obviously worried about something. “Talk, Garrus.”

“Back in C-Sec, I worked this case about illegal organ growing issues,” he began. At her very confused look, Garrus explained, “See, there’s a crazy black market on the Citadel for organs.”

“Say what?”  
  
“Yeah. Some krogan will pay for testicular transplants, thinking it might increase chances of...uh, yeah, you know. At near ten thousand credits a testicle, some poor krogan bastard's looking at forty thousand credits. Killing it, huh.”

Shepard’s eyes bulged. “That’s...crazy.”

“Tell me about it. So, anyway, I investigated this salarian geneticist while tracking the black market organ trading going on. The data seemed off, and we weren’t sure if there was some new shady lab or if some freak out there was hurting people,” Garrus said, finally standing still in front of her. “It was both.”

She eyed him. “God. How did you figure it out?”

“Got a sample, ran some tests. The turian the sample belonged to was quite alive and also quite sure he'd never lost it. Then I found out this turian worked once for the geneticist I'd investigated...Saleon.”

“And then?”

“Nothing in the lab search. Nothing at all.”

“What did you do?” Shepard asked, completely forgetting her armor now.

“Well, I brought in some of his employees...to talk. While I spoke with one, I came across something suspicious.”  
  
Garrus’s voice had subtly changed, and Shepard watched him closely, seeing his body language already becoming defensive.

“By talking, you mean what I think you do.”

“Yeah.”  
  
“ _Garrus._ ”  
  
“I know, it wasn't right. It did break the case, though. One bled, and when we offered to fix him up, he went crazy. The timing seemed suspicious.” He bowed his head a little, as if trying to block out the images in his mind before continuing. “Medics found all kinds of cuts into his body. You can imagine what was inside."

“Sick,” she replied, trying now to black out the same images Garrus probably had. “He grew the organs inside them the entire time. Clever, but fucking sick.”

“Exactly. Organ cloning in people just to cut them out, sell them, and do it again.” Garrus balled his hands. “He took advantage of them in other ways, of their poverty by only paying them if the organs grown were decent, and if they didn't grow right, he just...left them in their bodies. Horrific."

Shepard shook her head. “So, what happened? Did you get his ass?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“He fled, using hostages as shields with a ship chase.”

Shepard chose her next words carefully, aware of Garrus’s views of justice and her own methods. “What...did you decide to do about that?”

“I chose to take the collateral damage to catch him, but C-Sec refused. The ship was too close to the Citadel itself, and the hostages were too important.” Garrus loosened the grip on his hands and crossed his arms. “I had...said they were really dead, regardless. Wasn't like the fucker was going to stop doing this to them.”

“Yeah, but...Garrus,” she replied, rubbing her face. “Damn.”

He paused. “I know. But maybe they could have disabled the ship and still saved them, just by trying. Got so mad I almost left C-Sec.”

Shepard unsnapped the seals on her chest piece and removed it, feeling the air hit her soft black under armor suit. “I know, and I know it feels like sometimes the bad guys always win or get away, but they won’t. Eventually, they will pay for their crimes. You know we’re going after Saren. I won’t let him get away. I will speak with him before he forces my hand, and if I have to kill him on the spot, I’m not going to shoot him in the head immediately. I want to bring him in first, take him out second if fate lets me.”

Garrus eyed her for a moment; she realized he hadn’t really ever seen her much in her under armor gear. Usually she was in her civilian Alliance garb or armor; the difference was that the under suit was always very tight fitting. She didn’t comment on his staring, instead listening as he replied, “Okay, Shepard. That’s basically why I’m here. Chellick passed me some information today. Seems they’ve found Saleon under an alias and a ship belonging to him—the _MSV Fedele_. He’s in the Herschel system of the Kepler Verge. If we get near there, I’d be extremely appreciative if we could...drop by.”

He turned, pacing again, but with a different rhythm this time. Shepard stood and walked over to him, feeling smaller without most of her armor on. “Garrus?”

“I know it’s a lot to ask, Shepard. Spirits, it’s irrelevant to our main mission,” Garrus said, frustration evident, “but I just...it will clear my head to know he’s gotten taken in or killed for what he’s done.”

Shepard gently touched his healing shoulder. “It’s fine, Garrus. I’ll make sure it’s taken care of before we hit Feros.”

“...Shepard,” he began, low vibrations echoing in his voice.  
  
She couldn’t understand the meaning of them, but she figured him to be nervous about it all.

“Listen. I just helped Wrex get some old family armor back from a pirate gang. When he realized how nearby we were, he asked me for my help. I help my crew. I know not all do that, but I take care of mine,” she explained, her green eyes finally catching his blue ones in a steady gaze.

Garrus seemed a little surprised by her explanation, but he nodded.

Shepard let go of his shoulder and bent to remove her gauntlets. “Joker.”

“Yes, Commander?” the pilot’s voice echoed over the comm in her quarters.

“Take us to the Herschel system of the Kepler Verge. I want you scanning for any signs of a ship called the _MSV Fedele_.”

“Aye, aye!”

Garrus stared at her a moment before bowing his head lower in respect. “Thank you, Commander.”

She smiled. “You’re welcome, Garrus.”  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE: SALEON AND THE PAST**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Shepard could sense Garrus close behind her as they entered the _MSV Fedele_. For added security and unit cohesion, she had elected to bring Wrex as the third member of the squad for this run. In fact she hoped to teach them both a major lesson that they needed, if this Dr. Saleon would give her the chance to do so.

Slowly she inched forward, pistol drawn. Crates were randomly stacked about them. Judging by the docking port, the ship was carrying a lot of goods.  
  
“Nowhere to snipe on this ship without getting knocked off a stack of cargo,” she murmured. “Garrus, get out your assault rifle. Wrex, I’m expecting close combat, if anything, so biotics ready and shotgun pumped.”  
  
The ship had been sending off a hailing signal, pleading for aid and rescue. And Shepard and Garrus both had feared for the citizens possibly still trapped inside with the salarian doctor. But the hail read strangely. Like a single person's SOS.

Her team prepared as they nodded behind her, pulling the weapons from their backs. Shepard moved around the first corner down the hall leading into the next large room. As the door opened with a hiss, she saw the crates just as she had predicted, stacked high all around. So they would have to move like in a maze, rather than walk straight across the room.  
She grumbled inwardly before the growl hit her ears.

“What the _fuck_ was that?” Garrus hissed, his vibrations licking at her hearing.

Shepard made a hand signal for Wrex to come forward. She bent low on her knees and motioned with her hands how she wanted him to proceed on point to clear any path of obstacles. The krogan crept ahead as an echoing, answering growl met their ears.

“That does not sound good,” Shepard murmured. Nor did it sound like _people_ of any race. She and Garrus followed close behind Wrex around the first stacks of crates and then froze as another growl sounded right in front of them.

Shepard wasn’t sure if she’d ever get the sight of the half-dead, deformed body limping toward them out of her mind. Once a person. Now a braindead limping monster. “Is that what I think it is?”

“Has to be. What the hell has he done to them?” Garrus answered behind her. "Spirits, it's disgusting."

Wrex gave a low chuckle as the body came toward him before raising his shotgun up in its face. “And now it’s dead.”

Its head exploded in front of them with a loud pop. Immediately they heard sounds of other bodies moving on their location. And so began the ten minutes of fun for Wrex as Shepard gave Wrex permission to do what krogan do best—charge. Garrus and Shepard took shots at any monstrous test subjects that got toward them or on Wrex’s back as he slammed through a crowd of the bodies, leaving disturbing crunching noises in his wake.

When the last groan died in the room, Shepard and Garrus moved to join Wrex by the door to the next hall and series of rooms. The krogan’s normally red plated head was covered in green slime. He pumped his shotgun once. “Only shot the first one. Charged and tore the rest up. Good fighting, though a weak enemy.”  
  
“They were _civilians_ , Wrex.”  
  
“Not anymore.”

“Be ready. He's fidgety, if I remember right,” Garrus said, trying to get Wrex back in a serious mode.

Shepard nodded. “I’ll take point. Follow me. We’ll check the room to the right here first.”

The moved forward slowly again. This time Shepard signaled for Garrus to cover the left side of the door while Wrex took the right. Shepard raised her pistol in an offensive stance and smacked the door’s console, opening it.

There, in the middle of the room, was a single salarian.

“Oh, good! Rescue!” he called, wiping the top of his large head with the back of his three-fingered hand.

Shepard’s jaw could have dropped, or would have, if Garrus hadn’t taken an eager step forward and aimed his gun right on the salarian. “That’s him. That's Saleon, Shepard.”

“Wh-What? Absolutely not!” Saleon said aggressively, large eyes blinking. " _My_ _name_ is Heart! Doctor Heart!"

Shepard moved next to Garrus. She knew, but she had to confirm. “No doubts?”

“None.” Garrus growled a little. “Nowhere to run now. Shame you don't have organs worth scavenging.”

The salarian panicked. “He is _insane_! Please, human, help me. Get me out of here from those things!”

Shepard smacked her gloved palm hard on Garrus’s assault rifle, knocking it downward. She kept her eye on the salarian as she said to Garrus, “Think, Garrus. Now, Saleon, you've got a long trip back to C-Sec through the Alliance.”  
  
“I swear, I'm not this Saleon!”  
  
“Shut it, salarian, the act's over,” Wrex muttered with a rough growl.

“But, Commander! We can't just arrest him,” Garrus pleaded. “He'll get out somehow! Get away!”

Shepard shook her head. Like Chellick with his mods all over again, she thought. “He dies, Garrus, and all your info does tracing his business.”

Garrus sighed. “I...damn it.” Turning his head back to Saleon, he glared, “You are one _lucky_ bastard.”

Saleon smirked at him. “Oh, _thank you_ , turian.”  
  
“Doctor, if you'll—”  
  
“I'm not leaving in cuffs, human. I'll take your ship if I must,” the geneticist pulled a pistol from behind his back and tried to fire on the trio. “Out of my way!”

Garrus attempted to raise his gun up again, but stopped when he saw the salarian fall dead from a single bullet wound to the head. Shepard then took her hand off of Garrus’s gun and returned her pistol to its side holster.

“What the hell, Shepard? What about info?” Garrus asked, exasperated at her side. “What...? I don't.... He just _dies_ anyway after all that?”

Shepard turned to look at him. “You never know what someone will do, Garrus, but you can decide how you respond. Think about it.”

Garrus stared at her for a moment before he said, “Commander, I...I get it.”

As they made their way back to the airlock to get on the _Normandy_ , they paused to undergo decontamination. Wrex exited the moment the process finished and the ship’s VI stated so, but Garrus asked Shepard to wait.

“Listen, Shepard. I...thanks.”

Shepard looked up at him, a brow turned up. “You’re welcome.”

“You didn’t have to take me to find him, and what you taught me...I won’t forget it. I just wanted you to know it’s not a waste of your time,” he said, moving forward so that they could begin walking together.

Both gave nods to Joker who spun to look at them. Shepard barked out orders for the pilot as they passed him. “Disengage. Plot a course for Feros, Joker. I’ll confirm on the galaxy map.”

“Aye, Commander.”

Shepard and Garrus strolled through the CIC and walked downstairs to the mess where Wrex had already grabbed something to eat. Kaidan wandered over as Garrus sat down, and Shepard grabbed a nutrient bar ration from a cabinet to join them.

“So, did it go well?” Kaidan asked, eyes on Shepard.

“Yep.”

Garrus sighed. “Wish I’d had that kill shot.”

“Sorry, big guy. I just moved on instinct in that moment,” Shepard said, smacking his armored forearm lightly with her free hand as she sat down by his left side.

It wasn’t long before they began sharing stories to pass the time. Kaidan mentioned his training at Jump Zero. Wrex talked about the time he had coincidentally come into contact with Saren via mercenary work. Garrus, to lighten the mood after that story full of dying civilians, mentioned a humorous memory about how he had closed a very awkward sexual harassment case for an unnamed hanar official on the Citadel. Apparently a young human female had been rather obsessed with the jellyfish.

They all turned to Shepard, waiting on her story. “What? Funny, sad, or what, guys?”

“Whatever you want, Shepard,” Kaidan said. He brought his chin forward to rest on his hands across from her.

“Well. Hm.” Shepard debated before asking them to seriously pick something for her to relate.

“First experience with an alien race,” Garrus said before Kaidan and Wrex could even reply.

“Experience?” she asked, wanting clarification.

He nodded. “The first alien you ever met.”

“Ah.” Shepard looked down at the wrapper of her eaten nutrient bar, losing herself in the reflections from the lighting on it. “Turian.”

“Common with humans,” Kaidan said quietly.

Wrex’s deep voice hummed. “Yeah. You humans and Shanxi.”

“What was the turian like, Shepard?” Garrus asked, now very curious next to her.

She sighed. “He was...scared at first. I won’t go into details, but my family helped save his life. I remember when he first looked at me. I don’t think he’d ever seen a human child before.”

No one spoke until Shepard’s random laugh had the males all startled in their seats. She missed Caios just thinking about it. “Sorry, guys, I just remembered. I was so young, maybe two or three when this happened, but I was told that I had wandered right over to where he was sitting on the ground and touched his face with my tiny hands. It probably scared him. The only thing I actually remember about that event is the feel of the plating under my fingers and the way he had first appeared scary, only to feel so warm. Touching a turian was really my very first memory.”

Wrex chuckled. “Might watch your face, Garrus. Shepard may want to feel it up.”

“Oh, shove it,” she retorted with a laugh.

They got Wrex to tell another mercenary tale before they dispersed. Kaidan left to use the restroom while Wrex entered the elevator to head to the cargo bay. Garrus and Shepard sat in the mess together, in the quiet.

Finally, Garrus said, “We never have been monsters in your eyes, have we?”

“Nope. Quite the opposite, actually.”

He turned to look at her. “Then what?”

“Oh, well,” she felt herself blushing a little, thinking of the first turian crush she had had on a consult in training and then how she had begun drawing them. “Let’s just say I’m very fond of turians.”

“All of us, or just our handsome males?”

“Well, when you put it that way,” she started with a teasing grin. “All of you, but you _do_ have some handsome men.”

“Shepard,” Garrus smiled, “are you admitting to a turian fetish?”

She felt the flush come over her face and neck, causing her to quickly look away to her left. “Maybe. Not fetish, not objectifying, but...well. You've got attractive males, yeah.”

“Wait, you’re not joking?”

“No,” she confessed.

Garrus hummed next to her, the sound vibrating her in the proximity. “Any specific turians you interested in?”

At that she turned and looked him full in the face. His blue eyes were trained on her with a strange emotion, her gut was pulling at her that it might mean something.  
Shepard smiled, obviously not wanting to admit her crush on him and terrify the poor turian to death. Or make her subordinate and _friend_ feel uncomfortable. “Well I _do_ know some good looking turians, but...I'd want, you know, something special. A relationship. If I find _that one_ , I’ll let you know. Might be difficult. He’ll have to beat your handsome mug.”

“So I’m a sexy turian, even to a human.”

At that she couldn't help but roll her eyes. His ego was always ready. “You wouldn’t own up to the number of females you’ve slept with. I’m betting it was quite a few, Garrus.”  
  
He laughed a little, the dual tone in his voice rich. “Well, it wasn’t as many as you probably think, but still, by our standards I’m not the best catch. I’ve got issues following most orders, I’m not searching for a bond mate yet, and for some I’m too young and unproven. All of those have pissed my dad off to no end as he has set up matches for me that failed repeatedly.”

“They’re just missing out, big guy.” Shepard rose from her seat and deposited her trash in the compactor.

“Think so, Shepard?”

She turned, figuring a little flirting wouldn’t kill her. Hell, he probably wouldn’t know it if she did. Shepard walked over to her quarter’s entrance and looked back over her shoulder, a soft smile gracing her lips. “Yeah, Garrus. Nobody has those eyes or a voice like yours. You're...special.”

Shepard entered her private quarters feeling very satisfied at the surprised and intrigued look her words had earned from Garrus.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTY: ZHU'S HOPE**

  
  


  
  


As Garrus moved behind Shepard and Tali in the tunnels of Zhu’s Hope on Feros, yet another attempt of tracing Saren's path through the Terminus systems wherein again Shepard was roped into aiding the local colonists, his mind was admittedly not completely focused on re-powering the water valves. His hands went through the motions as Shepard kept guard near, but his thoughts were on her words from days ago in traveling, the very ones that made sleeping so difficult the last nights: _She likes turians_.  
  
Chellick hadn't been projecting. Wrex's nose might have been onto something beyond his own scent after all. Because though she hadn't directly said she was into him specifically or anything, she _had_ affirmed his attractiveness to her and called him “special,” using it similarly to how she said she wanted a “special” turian to date.  
  
The realization made him shudder reflexively and not in a revolted way.  
  
His curiosity was strong, the mixed air of his feelings powerful.

Naturally, after that conversation in the mess, Garrus had gone to Joker. He had hoped his previous conversations had started to establish a good working relationship with the pilot so that he would have a friendly human to ask questions. Of course, Garrus hadn’t said what Shepard had to him in the mess. He knew the pilot enough to understand that complete honesty on the matter was a bad idea, but he did bring up human flirting indirectly through a joke about turians. Joker had readily opened up, talking about a woman in his past from flight school—about how she used to smile at him, “bat” her eyes (which Garrus really didn’t understand), and used other body language signs to indicate her interest. But when he applied things Joker said to his experience in the mess he still had no idea. Shepard smiled at most everyone if she was in a good mood. So he wasn’t sure he could attribute that, not to mention there seemed to be a new running joke about his “handsome mug,” as she called it.

“Garrus,” Shepard’s voice whispered low in his audio. Her vocals were almost erotic to his hearing with the way she murmured his name like a lover's caress, and his heartbeat rapidly increased at the sound so intimately entering his comm.

He snapped aware with a jerk, having finished turning the pump on moments ago without realizing it. Tali was further ahead, finishing the adjustments on the last pipe. Garrus looked up from his kneed stance to see Shepard staring down at him; he wasn’t sure about the expression, but she did have a tiny smile on her face. “You okay, big guy?”

“Yep,” Garrus lied, taking her extended hand to rise to his feet. Before they let go, he looked down at how small the hand was with its five digits.

“Tali, about done?”

“Yes, Shepard,” the quarian answered as she stood.

Shepard rocked a little on her feet. “Good. Now we just have to eliminate that alpha varren and be done since the water’s on and the geth transmitter is gone.”

  
  


\-------------------------

  
  


Twenty minutes later, they set out across the bridge in the Mako. Their destination was the ExoGeni Corporation headquarters building, where a large geth dreadnought had attached itself. On the way to the connecting bridge, Shepard’s comm had picked up static conversation from a signal nearby. She had had Garrus pause the Mako, so they could all take a look. Garrus had reflected briefly as he complied, thinking of how often he was driving the vehicle now. It turned out that a group of geth attack survivors from ExoGeni were hiding in the ruins near the remaining colonists, unaware for the most part of any others left alive.  
  
One woman asked for her daughter to be found in the headquarters, if they could try.

“Her name is Lisbeth,” the woman had said, eyes downcast to avoid tears.

Shepard had nodded and spun on her heel. “I’ll do what I can.”

“Hey, wait, you can’t just go digging around!” A man had yelled, shaking in fear and rage.

Shepard had taken a step forward, one of her small fingers pointing dangerously into the human’s face. “I’m not about to take any of your precious company information. There’s geth there, you fucking idiot. Now shut up and help protect the people you’re with here. That’s what they deserve.”

The human’s eyes had widened considerably, his heart rate increasing in Garrus’s ears and visor monitors. When the man stepped forward aggressively, about to retort, Garrus had growled low behind Shepard. “Keeping those human lips shut would be very wise about now,” he had murmured, his assault rifle trained on the man’s face.

At that the human finally backed down, letting them leave. Shepard spoke with one other human male who asked if she came across a disk to salvage it for him; it seemed he was a mod developer.

Now, in the Mako, Garrus carefully tried to swerve and hop his way around several geth as they plopped down from the sky and landed, unfolding to stand and fire upon them. Shepard was on the turrets, tearing up geth getting dropped farther ahead, while Tali kept rocket fire intermittently trained on an upcoming Colossus.

“I want him gone, Tali!” Shepard shouted over their audio.

Garrus hopped the Mako to dodge an energy blast from the Colossus as rocket and turret fire finally took the monster down. Without many more geth in the way, they made great time finishing the trek across.

“Be careful up here. Who knows what’s been laid out for us as presents,” Shepard said, slipping back down from the turret controls into the Mako.

Garrus nodded as he slowed the vehicle; up ahead was an area of the building where the Mako wouldn’t fit through. Tali and Shepard slipped out of the side hatch before him, landing and bringing up their guns immediately to survey the area.

“Anything?” Garrus asked, assault rifle cradled in his arms.

Tali quickly moved into cover. “Up ahead. Rocket troopers.”

“I want them sabotaged, Tali,” Shepard ordered, her pistol rising. “Garrus, get out the Mantis and cover us while we take them out.”

Garrus immediately switched his guns out, loving the feel of the Mantis in his hands. He climbed on top of the Mako and lay flat, opening the gun up in front of him. Through his scope, he watched as Shepard and Tali began to progress into the next area, omni-tools flashing and gunshots echoing. Swinging a little to the left, Garrus spotted two troopers about to flank Shepard. Quickly, he took one down with a head shot, shattering the geth, before he reloaded and immediately brought the other to its synthetic death.

Shepard kept moving through the battle motions with Tali, not even looking at the downed geth next to her.  
  
 _And that’s why I like her,_ he thought as he fired another round and took out a geth sniper. _She trusts me._  
  
Garrus wasn't sure anyone had ever trusted in him or really believed in him that much before; his dad sure as hell didn't.

Once the room became quiet, Garrus scanned with the scope a few more times. “No visuals, Commander,” he spoke into his comm.

“Affirmative. Join us down here.”

Garrus folded up the sniper rifle into its holster and slid off the Mako, landing on his feet. He pulled the assault rifle out, reloaded it with fresh clips, and walked up to the two women. Tali surveyed all of the geth bodies around them. Seeing so many in person was probably still shocking to her, Garrus figured.

Distracted by his thought, he almost didn’t sense Shepard step next to him. He turned to look down at her. She brought her hand up to rest on his shoulder and nodded. “Excellent shooting, Garrus. Getting you that gun was exactly the thing to do.”

“Glad to be of service,” he replied.

Shepard sighed. “We have to figure this place out and get rid of that damn ship.”

Tali took them to an area on the left, but a huge blue barrier blocked the access. Garrus watched the quarian bring up her omni-tool as Shepard eyed the barrier. “Tali, can we get this down?”

“We’ll have to take the ship out,” Tali answered. “It’s creating the field.”

“Then we find another route,” Shepard replied, walking away from the barrier.

Minutes later they found a place to drop down and begin infiltrating the building. Garrus stayed close behind Shepard. As they stepped into a sunken, garage-like area, growls echoed. Garrus’s nose twitched at the smell before the varren came into his line of vision.

“Get them out of the way,” came the order he wanted to hear.  
  
Garrus unloaded, taking out two varren before they could gallop any closer. A large male snuck up to their left, managed to avoid most of a nasty shotgun blast from Tali, and jumped on top of Garrus’s side. Tossed off balance, he fell down and felt the weight of the varren smash his head harder off of the heavy stone below him.

Another shotgun blast sounded really close, but the aggressive varren didn’t seemed phased. Garrus could smell the animal’s blood as he wrestled with it, wishing he didn’t have his armored gloves on so he could tear it apart with his talons. Just as the varren’s large teeth moved to swipe for his face, the animal’s head exploded, blasting blood and brains all over Garrus.

He felt the animal slide off of him and rolled, wiping his face. Shepard, eyes wide, stepped up to him. She didn’t say a word, just stared for a few moments until she slowly brought her hand up to wipe some of the varren’s skull off of his brow plates. He swallowed and closed his eyes, a little shaken at the close call.

“You okay?” she asked softly, still rubbing parts of his plating. He didn’t feel any more body matter there, but he didn’t say anything to stop her. The motions felt strangely nice.

Garrus sighed. “Yeah. Bastard didn’t want to go down.”

“You’re telling me,” Tali said, stepping up to them and pumping her shotgun.

Shepard’s hand quickly dropped from Garrus’s face. He looked away, a bit bothered by his reaction. Shepard moved to take point once more before they heard noise off to the right. Garrus brought his gun up as he stepped in formation behind Shepard, Tali to his side.

When the gunshot bounced off of Shepard’s shields, it took all of Garrus’s control not to just blast the hell out of whoever had taken the shot. He stopped because Shepard had immediately raised her hand, giving he and Tali the signal to wait. Confused, he was about to argue with her before he smelled another human scent nearby.

“I’m so sorry! I thought you were more of those creatures,” the woman said, pistol dangling in her hand to the side.

Shepard waved her hand. “Just killed some, so I understand. Just be careful next time. Who are you?”

“I’m Lisbeth Baynham. I work for ExoGeni. I was going to leave when the others did, but I stayed behind longer to back up files. When I finished, I couldn’t get out of here safely,” she said, exhaustion sounding in her voice. “I’ve just been hiding since.”

Garrus lowered his gun and listened to Shepard’s exchange with Lisbeth. Before they turned to leave, the human gave Shepard her pass so they could get access anywhere in the building if they had to get past working consoles.  
  
“Why do you think the geth are here?” Shepard asked, poised to leave.  
  
Her real question, Garrus knew, was what could _Saren_ be after on Feros enough to send his troops for it?

“My guess is they’re after Species 37.”

“And what is that?” Tali asked, shotgun on her hip.

Garrus could see the human begin to hedge.  
“I can’t really talk about it. I don’t know much anyway. It’s just some old life form on Feros,” Lisbeth replied.

Shepard stiffened a little next to Garrus; he knew she didn’t buy the woman’s answer, but the Commander wasn’t going to push the issue when there were still geth around. “Stay hidden, safe. When we’re done, meet us by the barrier area. We have to find a way around it, take the ship down, and get back to the colonists.”

“Thank you,” Lisbeth said.

Shepard turned, Garrus and Tali following next to her. “I hope that information isn’t worth dying for.”  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE: THE RIDE OF HIS LIFE**

  
  


  
  


Garrus trudged after Shepard and Tali as they hightailed it back to the Mako.  
  
The geth dreadnought had finally been disabled by smashing its clamps on the building's side, thus removing the barrier. In the middle of cleaning the building of geth presence, Shepard had been able to find the disc the one human in the survivor group had desired as well as gain hacking access to a geth terminal. The information there would need decrypted, but Shepard had told the squad that it was probably directions for another human colony attack.  
  
Lisbeth met them where the barrier had been. Considering the little time the group had left to help the colonists, now that they knew what the real thing living under Zhu’s Hope was, Shepard just beckoned for the ExoGeni employee to follow them and saw her fall with a cry. Garrus could smell some blood from the Exogeni woman and saw a nasty varren bite on her leg that had been rubbed down with medigel. Shepard quickly fixed a tourniquet around the wound before they all squeezed inside the vehicle.  
  
With the four people cramped into the Mako, all of them female but him, one of them being a wounded human and Garrus being a much larger turian, the space was tight.

“Damn it. Tali, on the guns! Lisbeth, get angled toward the back seat and stretch your injured leg up front. That tourniquet has to stay tight,” Shepard said loudly in her most authoritative voice. “Garrus, I hope you can drive distracted.”

Garrus’s brow plates moved in a frown as he began to ask what she meant; his answer came in the form of Shepard shifting to bend her legs next to Lisbeth and sit on his lap. He didn’t have time to process it all before she began to maneuver the control console and turn the vehicle around.

“I’m going for rockets. You drive,” she said, echoing over his comm.

Garrus adjusted a little, but the Commander’s curved waist and round bottom were resting on him in an awkward position so that he could barely move. Thankful for his genitalia being internal until mating and away from any possible harm, Garrus gripped Shepard’s lower torso and lifted her briefly, sitting her down in a more comfortable spot that just happened to be even more intimate. His superior hearing let him hear an interesting noise come from her as he finished. He had no idea how to interpret it, and he immediately thought of how her position now was better than the one in the Peak 15 elevator.  
  
The intense smells in the Mako changed briefly, and Garrus's nose twitched. He dismissed the interesting new scent of hers that he thought he smelled for now. Forcing down the awkward sigh, Garrus immediately began to get the Mako rolling forward.

Above him he heard Tali open fire with the turrets as the console picked up geth juggernauts and destroyers being dropped across the trek back over the bridge. Shepard let loose a few rocket blasts to clear a large group of geth, her fingers flying over the console next to his.  
  
“Shit!”

At Shepard’s shout, Garrus’s visor picked up the movement on the display. Two armatures had just landed very close to them, energy shots already prepped to fire. Garrus’s hand hit one of the holo buttons, and the Mako jumped up and to the right; as it landed back down, Shepard bounced in Garrus’s lap, nearly smacking her head on the ceiling. Garrus gripped her torso with one of his arms, trying to keep her steady as she kept aiming rockets. It was like the bouncing hadn’t even fazed her.

It took a longer amount of time to get back across than it had to make the first trip. When Garrus finally rolled the Mako up toward one of the enclosing garage entrances, Tali shouted.

“Stop!”

Garrus obeyed, halting the vehicle. Shepard shifted in his lap, trying to look past his head and Lisbeth to view the half of Tali’s body still in the Mako. “What’s going on, Tali?”

“There’s...something outside the door. It looks like a...a human, sort of. Not a husk.”

Shepard angled her head as she tried to maneuver a little, and the result was her throat in Garrus’s face. Traveling in the Mako had always been interesting because the air inside was a mix of all the scents of its passengers. But with Shepard’s throat in his face and her fringe grazing his brow plates ever so lightly, he couldn’t avoid inhaling her strong scent; it had a tinge of what he thought he'd smelled earlier, and with the confirmation now, Garrus felt the need to wriggle a little in real, strange excitement because Shepard had been... _aroused_...by him moving her.

Garrus shook off the thought and barely stopped himself from shoving his face into her fringe—hair, he remembered she called it—as she leaned farther, trying to find a way to view up to Tali; her scent was intoxicating and oddly familiar, though it shouldn’t have been to him, and the texture of her hair was almost addictive to feel. He helped lift her a little over Lisbeth’s lowered form. Tali quickly climbed down and was half laying against Garrus as Shepard managed to climb up to view from the turrets.

“Holy fuck,” her voice came.

Garrus sighed. “Let’s get out and deal with it.”

Tali released the side hatch, its opening hiss music to Garrus. He hated feeling so trapped in tight vehicle, though part of him could admit to not minding the moments of Shepard fighting from his lap. It was admirable, her determination...and cute, too.

Tali slid out of the vehicle. Garrus awkwardly climbed backwards to follow her, almost knocking his shoulder into Lisbeth’s face. She hung back against the Mako’s left wall, not wanting to leave its safety. As he landed on the ground, Garrus gave a happy click and stretched. He glanced up to see Shepard fixated on something in front of them. There, by the door’s entrance button, was a bent over humanoid shape. It was green.

“Garrus,” Shepard called down to him.

He nodded, pulling his assault rifle from his back, and stepped closer to it. When he got within four feet, the creature stood up and groaned loudly. Garrus eyed it, his visor trying to gauge the danger, when the damn thing charged at him. He opened fire and the being burst with a loud pop in front of him, spraying him with nasty green goo.

Garrus was still wiping his face off when Shepard finally joined him, her pistol in her right hand. “The hell is this thing?” she asked, trying to make sense of the remains. “It popped like a water balloon.”

“What’s that?” he asked, perplexed.

“I’ll tell you later. We’ve got to get inside. There’s probably more of these things,” Shepard said. She paused briefly to look up at him. “You all right? Is that acidic?”

“Doesn’t feel like it. Just...smells horrible,” he admitted. “Messed with my shielding a bit, though.”  
  
When he got back to the ship Garrus planned to take a long, _long_ hot shower.

Shepard nodded and hit the console button to raise the garage door. Garrus waited for her next to the Mako; Tali had already climbed inside and squished herself next to Lisbeth. “How do you want to do this?” Garrus asked, knowing that getting back inside was going to be difficult.

“Same as before,” Shepard answered.”You go first, I’ll fit how I can.”

Garrus gave her a nod before climbing into the front seat a little slowly; he was trying to avoid knocking Tali in the head with his elbow as she switched back onto the turret. When he settled he felt Shepard climb in and shut the hatch. She pulled herself between Tali and Lisbeth on her stomach, across the hard seats, and yanked on Garrus’s shoulder to twist around and sit haphazardly on his lap once more.

“Lisbeth, we’re dropping you off where your mother is,” Shepard said.

Garrus couldn’t see the human behind them, but sensed her relieved nonverbal reply.

The next several minutes passed with further revelations about the Species 37, the Thorian. Lisbeth explained that it was a large plant with spores that gave it the ability to telepathically control animal life. ExoGeni, interested in the control aspect, had been using the Zhu’s Hope colonists as an unknowing test group, monitoring their behavior as it started to change and evolve. All of it corroborated with what a terminal had told them in the damn building using Lisbeth's ID.

Shepard’s brows had furrowed as she replied, “Then you’d better figure a way to help them when I kill that damn thing. And give this disc to one of the employees. He’ll see it and come forward.”

Garrus had watched as Shepard helped Lisbeth back down to where other survivors could see her and returned once the woman was secured. Without Lisbeth, the Mako was back to its normal atmosphere. Garrus hadn’t realized how roomy the vehicle really was until a fourth person was shoved inside the mix. Now, with just the three of them, she sat next to him as he moved the Mako close to the colonists’ location. He had to admit that he kind of missed the excitement of driving as he had on the way here.

Shepard reached behind her, taking the anti-Thorian gas grenades from Tali; Lisbeth’s mother had run back before they left to give them the grenades, claiming she figured they would paralyze the mind-controlled colonists and give the people more of a chance, as she explained they would be under Thorian control now.

“Remember, we can’t shoot the colonists. They don’t know what they’re doing, and they will be firing. Just aim these on as many concentrated groups as we see, and hopefully we’ll get through this with as minimal losses as possible,” she said, climbing from the Mako and feeling Garrus slide out behind her.

He gripped a grenade in his right hand. “I’m on it.”  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO: THE THORIAN**

  
  


  
  


  
When the squad had returned to the colonists’ area, they luckily disabled all of the humans and the one salarian merchant without any casualties. But, on the way, they had encountered more of those green beings—likely colonists so exposed they'd begun physical mutation. With the threat of geth and Shepard's crew, the Thorian had likely trotted them out as defense. Shepard took to calling them Thorian creepers, on account of the way they huddled frozen until they charged.  
  
Figuring Wrex would be a great candidate in case of more of the creepers arriving, Shepard had asked Tali to return to the _Normandy_ and send the krogan in her place. After that she had had to explain the situation a little more, get Wrex on the same level, and then unlock the freight hiding the entrance down to the Thorian’s area.

Shepard ran around the angled corridors. Garrus’s turian footsteps echoed behind her as did Wrex’s loud krogan stomps. Each disturbing encounter with groups of creepers inevitably led to Wrex becoming enveloped in green guts. Garrus and Shepard kept their guns ready, trying to make sure Wrex wasn’t overwhelmed, much like they had back on Dr. Saleon’s ship. As the trio came to a floor that viewed out into an open, central chamber, Shepard’s steps grew much slower.

She stopped a few feet from the floor’s edge, her mouth hanging open.  
  
“That's a plant, and I'm a turian,” she stated, green eyes wide at the huge life form in front of her.  
  
The Thorian had rooted tentacles shoved into different levels, anchoring its enormous bulbous body up in the air.

Garrus moved next to her, his mandibles fluttering. “Don't ask me how to kill it. Never been in any training I've had.”

Wrex merely laughed and pumped his shotgun.

The large head began to wriggle, and huge drops of nasty looking drool slid down a bunching of tentacles. Shepard angled her head, trying to get a better look, and then brought up her pistol as a _green_ asari slid out of the Thorian onto the ground at her feet.

The asari didn’t appear right and not just because of the unnatural skin tone. Garrus moved in close to Shepard’s side, telling her that the readings off the asari weren’t normal and that she was probably a clone.

They all waited to hear the asari speak. She argued for the Thorian’s purpose, claiming its amazing age—alive during the last Reaper invasion—and then she moved into a threatening position when Shepard declared the creature too dangerous for what it had done to the civilians.

Shepard was just barely able to roll out of the way from a biotic throw. Wrex and Garrus opened fire on the green clone, working together to bring her down quickly. Shepard was back on her feet, running toward the next floor levels. “We have to kill it! Bring down those roots, and it’ll drop from its own weight!”

Through her commands a system worked for at least two floors: Wrex charged and destroyed any Thorian creepers around (of which there were plenty) so that Shepard and Garrus could dispatch roots as they found the nodules. That was until more asari clones caught up to them.

Shepard ordered Wrex to be on the biotic offensive while she took a defensive position and aimed for head shots. They quickly grew overwhelmed as the Thorian shook in pain, rattling the building; more creepers had caught up to them and at least one asari clone was still tossing biotics Shepard’s way.

A loud shout echoed over her audio, causing her head to snap toward its source. Shepard’s heart nearly stopped when she saw the asari clone move past Wrex, who was busy with creepers, and slam Garrus hard into a wall. Shepard ran toward the pair, her emotions wrestling as what had to be turian screams of pain entered her hearing.

The asari was tossing and lifting Garrus helplessly, then warping down his shields to shoot at him. Shepard slammed into the clone taking her hard to the ground. Using her weight, Shepard leveled herself over the struggling green asari and socked the fake alien’s jaw with all her strength; it snapped the asari’s head sharply to the left, breaking her neck. Shepard hit her a few more times, furious at the clone harming Garrus, and then shot her in the forehead. Quickly, she climbed off the dead clone and ran to Garrus’s side. He lay against the wall, breathing heavily.

“Are you all right?” she shouted over Wrex’s brutal slaying of the creepers coming their way.

Garrus looked at her, turian eyes as wide as possible in a universal sign of horror and mandibles slack to the sides. A few very fast and undefined clicks and chirps erupted from him, his mandibles moving quickly against his face as he grabbed his right arm.

“Garrus, what’s wrong?” Shepard asked, pausing to look down at his arm as he shoved it out to her. The armor had been torn apart, and he was bleeding from a wound. “Here, medigel,” she replied and gave him some.

“Damn it, Shepard, my translator’s gone! My fucking omni-tool implant got blasted!” Garrus’s angry, scared words finally caught in Shepard’s own translator. “I...I'm wounded, but I'll push. I think I've been shot.”

“Oh fuck!” Instantly she looked to his face. “You can’t understand me? Garrus?”

He just stared at her for a moment before finally shouting, “Help me up! I’ll do what I can behind you, but I won’t be able to understand anything! Let's just get this over with!”

Shepard pulled him to his feet as Wrex stomped over to them. “Creepers are gone for now.”  
  
“Garrus’s omni-tool chip was fried from the clone’s biotics. They must have gotten in through his wound. Keep an eye out, because he can’t understand us with his translator gone and he's a bit wounded, he said, maybe even shot somewhere. He wants us to go on,” Shepard explained. She turned to Garrus, and using a variety of hand motions, informed him to stay to her left, close by.

“Got it,” he said, his voice shaky.

As they moved to proceed to the last nodule, Shepard gave him a sympathetic turian gesture, hoping to comfort him. She couldn’t imagine being without her translator in the middle of a fight, especially with only alien comrades. Wrex blasted the last nodule, and the Thorian’s screams echoed harshly over their comm links. Garrus turned, unsure of the sound until his eyes settled on the Thorian. All three squad members watched the huge plant life form fall to its death, killed in part by its own size and weight.

“That was close,” Shepard murmured.

Garrus immediately changed his stance, shouting, “Ahead, Commander!”

She adjusted to follow his point and saw an asari, a bluish-purple one in color, fall from a large sac on the wall. At first no one moved, unsure if they were about to face yet another clone, but the figure began to stir tiredly before them. Shepard stepped forward. “Are you okay?” she asked, pistol still raised in case of a threat.

The asari swerved as she tried to get to her feet; her gaze on them was one of mild confusion. “The Thorian...it’s dead?”

“Yes. I’m Commander Shepard.” Shepard wasn’t about to take any chances. “Who are you? Do you work for Saren?”

“Shiala. I was a follower of Lady Benezia. When she thought to turn Saren from his dark path, I was one of the few followers to continue attending her. Over time things...changed. She changed,” the asari said. “We all did.”  
  
That was something Shepard knew all too well with Benezia's blood on her hands.

Shepard watched her a moment longer before lowering her gun and indicating her companions to do the same. Garrus seemed incredulous, telling her through her translator that he had no idea what was going on. She held up a hand, trying to tell him to be patient.

“Tell me what you know,” Shepard ordered.

Shiala looked at her for a minute before nodding. “You saved me from the Thorian. I owe you whatever you want to know.”

“We're after Saren. We want to stop him, stop these geth attacks and figure out what he's wanting with these Reapers from Prothean memory. And we're aware Saren has the ability to manipulate and control minds,” Shepard explained. “Encountering Matriarch Benezia proved that to us.”

“Lady Benezia is alive? She fought the indoctrination?”

Shepard shook her head. “I’m sorry. She fought us while under his control, and we had to kill her. She broke free from the control for a few moments to give us direction of his plans and insight.”

“Then you may know as much as I, except for something else. You see, Commander, I was given to the Thorian as a sacrifice by Saren. I had no choice in the matter—at the time I was a willing slave, but upon being absorbed I found reality. Saren wanted something that only the Thorian had,” Shiala began. She paced a little, as if needing to physically move to prove she was no longer imprisoned. “You see the Thorian is very old, old enough to have been around when the Reapers wiped out the Protheans 50,000 years ago. It has in its memories of past control a Prothean cipher, which grants the ability to understand the beacons and Prothean language. The cipher was passed through me to Saren.”

Shepard tapped her foot. The woman had just been freed, and she knew it, but damn it. “I need that cipher, too, Shiala.”

“I’m willing to give it to you, Commander, but I will have to join my mind to yours to do so,” Shiala said, shifting nervously. “It will be very exhausting.”

“Do it,” Shepard ordered, stepping forward.

Garrus growled low behind her, but Wrex got him to be quiet. Shiala’s eyes went black as she touched Shepard’s arms and whispered, “Embrace eternity.”

Instantly Shepard’s mind was overtaken by an even harsher probing sensation than when Liara had joined their minds on the _Normandy_. Images flashed through her mind’s eye, very fast and filled with harsh sounds and screams that she could finally understand from the beacon on Eden Prime. Shepard shook lightly from the tension in her body as she struggled to keep conscious, letting her mind receive the information, but she felt her body become weightless and the familiar sensation of blacking out began.

The last sound she heard before she fell to the ground was Garrus's roar.  
  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE: HIS FIRST HUMAN HUG**

Garrus sat in the medbay, letting Chakwas examine his wounds. He had taken a beating from the amped up asari clone, and he would have felt shame over it had he not been able to witness Shepard’s brutal punches to the clone in retaliation before the Commander fired a head shot into the asari’s green face.

Chakwas sighed a little as she applied some salve to a few burned areas of his arm. She paused and typed on a datapad that had become the translator between everyone and Garrus while his omni-tool was out of commission. She wrote that she'd have to remove the old chip and insert a new one; it would have the updated model of his last one and he'd be able to access any old records through his accounts.

Garrus gave her a curt nod, gritting his teeth as he felt metal pincers jerk the chip implant from his arm muscle. He exhaled in his spot, unable to do any calming techniques beyond that. He watched as the human doctor carefully picked up a brand new omni-tool implant piece with a fresh pair of metal pincers and gently set it in the area of his old one; she applied a few tweaks to the chip, bringing it to life, before closing his wound.

Chakwas took a step back so Garrus could test out the omni-tool. He had to first set it to his native dialect from Palaven. After that, he filtered through settings to reset the translator to pick up anything it could into his regional dialect, the overall turian language, or some common speak that had sprung up between the galactic races over the years; unfortunately, common speaking was something Garrus had little experience in, given the heavy reliance on translators. Thus he couldn’t have understood Shepard or Wrex back on Feros if he had honestly tried. Only a few words seemed to pass between languages universally...credits, of course, being at the top of that list, as well as some curses or slurs.

“Is it working properly now?” the doctor asked, poised to wait longer.

Garrus sighed happily. “Yes. I understand now.”

“Good. You have a few other wounds I need to check. I’m concerned that the slams might have damaged some of your plating, and I want to make sure that the one bullet that grazed you didn’t do too much damage.”

He shifted, letting her help him remove his under armor suit so that she could assess other damages. Thankfully the worst biotic damage had hit his arm and the lower part of his cowl, but there was mild to severe bruising on other places of his chest, including his non-plated, more vulnerable abdomen. He grit his teeth again, only letting his pain escape in subharmonics as Chakwas proceeded to patch, clean, and heal the wounds as best as possible. She made sure to give him a nice shot of dextro-friendly painkillers.

After nearly an hour, she finally relaxed. “You need rest, Garrus—not only for your body to recuperate from its recent abuse but also for your omni-tool to finish syncing and processing its new start.”

“I hear you, Doc,” he replied, pulling on a civilian shirt from a bag Shepard had brought him. Garrus momentarily wondered how her report to the Council was going as he stood, watching Chakwas leave briefly for him to change his pants.

When he finished he called for her to rejoin him from the back room. Garrus jumped down off the bed. “Have you checked Shepard?”

“She’s fine, just overwhelmed from the asari joining,” Chakwas explained.

Garrus gave her a nod and left the medbay, bringing his head up in time to see Shepard smack hard into his upper chest and knock them both off balance.

“Christ, you scared me,” she said with a light laugh, steadying herself by holding onto his good arm.

He smiled at once again being able to understand her. “Didn’t know you were on the other side of the door coming in. Sorry.”

“No problem, Garrus. Just glad you can communicate now. Everything patched up?”

“Yes, Shepard. I’m on orders to rest for a while, though. Besides the shot and screwed up arm, my, uh, abdominal area took a beating through the armor,” he explained. Garrus was able to see the mixed relief and worry in her face, even through their alien differences.  
  
He moved tiredly past her to sit at the mess. Kaidan looked toward them, but didn’t approach from his station.

Shepard sat opposite of Garrus, hands on top of the table. Garrus sighed a little. “I never want to go through that again.”  
  
“I bet.”

“Losing all ability to understand you...it was horrible. Honestly, it reminded me of how alien we all are to each other,” he said, getting to a problem that had been bothering him since the moment when he realized that try as hard as he might, he couldn’t understand the strange sounds coming from Shepard under Zhu’s Hope. Something about that moment put up a barrier in his mind between them, and he hated it.

“Hey,” she said, sitting forward more. “I guess you’ve got a point, but don’t let that...you know....”

“I’m still focused, Shepard. I guess I just feel, I don’t know, a little more aware of my singular presence. Not having another turian to communicate with has been strange,” he replied honestly, talons flexing in the amber lighting.

Garrus watched as Shepard leaned back against her chair and looked away. Neither spoke for several minutes. She shifted a little and rubbed her eyes with her fingers. “I’m sorry, Garrus. Tali seems okay having Ash around to chat with, and Wrex has never been bothered, but I didn’t think about you needing other turians.”

“We’re a rather collective bunch,” he agreed. He'd even talk to Chellick at this point.

She angled her face a little. “Is there anything I can do, Garrus?”

“Commander, you’ve done more for me than anyone. I don’t think there is anything else, and if there was I wouldn’t ask.”

“Garrus, we’re friends. I want to help you feel more comfortable,” she said. Shepard may not have had his level of knowledge of subharmonics, but the tones in her own voice reflected emotions that Garrus could understand easier; she was sad and sympathetic.

He lifted his face a little at her genuine friendly affection. “Thanks, Shepard. Talking like this helps a lot.”

“I’m glad, Garrus.” She sat forward again. In the quiet, she spoke, her voice almost ghostly. “You scared the hell out of me back on Feros, you know that?”

“Me? I watched you drop to the ground after that asari touched you. If Wrex hadn’t been there, I would have torn her to shreds, Shepard,” he admitted, his voice carrying the anger he still felt at seeing her fall, helpless and unconscious.

She smiled. “I appreciate the concern. In fact, you were the last thing I heard before I woke up with you, Wrex, and the colonists looking at me.”

“That so?”

“Turian roars make an impression, Garrus,” she teased, a smile manipulating her lips. “I remember a few times in my childhood when an old turian friend got pissed off. Nothing like that sound.”

“Spirits, Shepard, does it turn you on?” Garrus asked the question in jest, but he was honestly curious because her heartbeat had increased and interesting-smelling pheromones had struck his delicate nose.

Shepard laughed heartily, causing Kaidan to look over. “Maybe in the right setting and context. I can imagine it’s similar to one in a more intimate response.”

Garrus chuckled. “Close. Not as loud.”

She grew serious in front of him. “If we hadn’t been so pressed for time, I would have just slowly beaten that clone to death, you know.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. No one hurts one of my crew like that and lives,” she said solemnly.

Garrus tilted his head respectfully. “Thanks, Shepard.”

“Let alone someone I care a lot about,” she murmured, and where it would probably have escaped human hearing, Garrus had heard it. He chose not to reply to it in case he hadn’t been meant to overhear.

Tiredly he slid back out of his chair and motioned in a withdrawing gesture. “I’m going to go rest in the medbay for a while. Those beds are more comfortable than my cot.”

Shepard moved with him and surprised Garrus by following him into the next room. As he sat up on the bed farthest from the door, he caught Shepard jerk her head backward and Chakwas get up to leave. The door’s soft shutting noise echoed in his ears.

A little confused, Garrus looked to her. “Shepard, is something wrong?”

Shepard stared back a moment, before shaking her head to the side. “No, Garrus.” At his continued staring, she shifted. “All right, maybe that incident scared the hell out of me more than I want to admit.”

“Shepard?”

She moved to lean against the wall opposite him, much like he had done upon her own time in the medbay after Therum. Shepard sighed. “Sorry if that bothers you, Garrus. Just seeing you get tossed and hearing you in pain...I don’t know. It brought back some nasty memories from my childhood, you know?”

He didn’t reply, hoping she’d continue speaking.

She did.

“Listen, before my parents had fully legally secured the safety of the turian I mentioned before, some other Alliance caught me with him when he had had Mom’s permission to watch over me. We’d only been alone a few minutes near a medical station where workers inside knew what was going on. These other men, they just showed up and started shouting at him. They tried to kill him, thinking he was kidnapping me or trying to harm me—they didn’t understand his body language or how he was trying to protect me from _them_ , and they refused to believe anything he said that translated, considering Shanxi had just happened. He growled at them, held me behind one of his legs and kept his other talons free to strike. Before he could stop it, another human moved up behind us and grabbed me, running for what they thought was safety. My friend had ended up beating the crap out of one Marine and nearly killed another, only to get knocked around by a whole group.”

Garrus’s mandibles fluttered in shock. “Spirits.”

“Yeah,” she said, rubbing her face, “and my parents were very angry afterward, considering Dad was at the central part of the colony and my mother was on her way with all of the turian’s approved paperwork. Found out that the escort with us had been very racist and tried to set the whole thing up by telling that squad I was being kidnapped. The Alliance issued a formal apology to my friend and compensated him in many ways, though some of the Marines on base never trusted him or he them, especially around me. After that we left on Mom’s ship, a civilian one with Alliance personnel on leave. Dad had been relocated with active duty. We'd have stayed together, except that they needed him for a specific mission, and it was in a red zone. Anyway, while on that ship the turian never let me out of his sight. I think I was three years old. He carried me everywhere and constantly questioned people near me and my mother.”

“Sounds like he was very protective of you,” Garrus murmured, curiosity evident in his vocals.

Shepard nodded. “He was until he died. I loved him dearly, like a father. Always thought he saw me as a child, like one of his own.”

“I think so,” Garrus agreed, basing his thoughts off of the turian’s described behavior.

She straightened a little.

“I have two points in telling you that, Garrus.” Shepard took a step forward, her small fingers out as she ticked them off one by one in her speech. “First, I know that translator incident has done something, because after I was roused and we returned to the _Normandy_ , you were very reserved. I know it showed how different we really are when we can’t even communicate, but Garrus, when my friend protected me at that age, I couldn’t understand anything he said. Ever. I didn’t get an omni-tool or any translator chip until age four or five. I still trusted him completely, despite those differences.”

Garrus squirmed somewhat, feeling vulnerable and disliking it. Yet, he felt relief, too because she had had experience in the situation.

She continued, “And secondly, when we care about someone very much, we all react the same way regardless of species: furious, angry, and scared. I broke that asari’s neck when I hit her before I ever fired the shot in her head. I broke her neck because she hurt you and caused you pain. And I won’t ever let anyone do that again, if I can help it.”

“Commander,” he said, uncomfortable but appreciative. He’d never had a superior or friend openly display such emotion. Hell, it was more than his father had ever said to him in such ways. He wasn't sure how to take the affection. “Thanks, but—”  
  
“—I know, turian commanders aren’t this open or caring about individual soldiers in general, but damn it, Garrus, I am. I care about each of my crew and team members, _you_ especially,” she replied. “So understand. I lost my unit on Akuze. I will _never_ let anything like that happen again.”

Garrus swallowed. “I couldn’t imagine, Shepard. I’m sorry.”

“It fucking sucked,” she admitted, crossing her arms now. “And sometimes part of me wishes Cragley hadn’t pushed me, that the maw’s acid had taken me down so he could have survived and lived a full life. I should have died back there, not my marines.”

Garrus realized how bare and open Shepard was being with him and felt warmth start inside of his chest; she trusted in their friendship a great deal to be so vulnerable and admit the guilt she still carried about Akuze. “Shepard, I get why you feel that way, believe me. Turian commanders would rather die than leave their men in any situation. But in this case, I’m glad you lived. I think you were supposed to live. Nobody else could be doing what you are. And remember this turian saying: even if just one person survived, it was worth it.”

Shepard watched him, eyes a little strange. At first he thought maybe he had angered her or scared her somehow, but then he realized that her eyes were showing that she was listening to him, thinking about his words and weighing them honestly.

After several quiet, tense moments, she looked away. “Yeah. I guess so.”

“For what it’s worth, Shepard, _I’m_ glad you’re alive. You’ve changed my life,” he admitted. “I’ll never forget that.”

“Really?”

Garrus tried to smile a little at her cautious tone. “Yes, Shepard. So thank you, especially for trying to get me past my little...issue here.”

Shepard smiled. “Anytime. We’re headed back to the Citadel, by the way. Need some supplies, and I’ve picked up a few more UNC assignments. One in particular is worrying me—another admiral is having trouble contacting a unit of men and thinks something has gone wrong.”

“Then we’ll figure it out,” Garrus stated, knowing it was the truth.

She titled her head at him in a thankful gesture and stepped up toward where he sat. Garrus heard her heart race somewhat, her pulse jumping at her neck, and it puzzled him, the sudden increase. “Shepard?”

“Look, I know this is awkward and stupid and all, but I, uh...I’d like to hug you. It’s rare for me to open up like that, and you took it in stride.”

“Hug? Is that a human thing?” he asked, confused.

“Yes. It’s commonly done for many reasons—comfort, assurance, affection, etc.—with friends, family, you name it.”

Garrus eyed her a moment. “All right, Shepard. We’re friends.”

He didn’t know what to expect, so he sat still with his hands atop his knees. Shepard briefly smiled up at him before she moved very close, in between his hanging legs; Garrus froze when he felt her face press against the side of his cowl and her human arms come around his back.  
 _She’s holding me,_ Garrus thought, finally understanding a little.  
  
He debated a quick second before he moved his own arms and held her in return, his hands finding spots on her upper shoulder and lower back. Except during childhood, Garrus had never really been held before. It wasn’t as common among turians. Mandible rubbing was. Other forms of affection were. And once he hit a certain age, physical affection had waned.

They stayed that way for a few moments.

It surprised Garrus how warm she felt so close to him and that where he had smooth skin and plated bone ridges pronounced down his chest below his cowl, she had strange curves. Without their armor separating them, like in the Peak 15 elevator, he got a greater feel of her smaller form. It was making him react a little as he ever so slightly tightened his grip around her body.

Spirits was she soft. How could humans be so resilient and yet made so squishy?

He leaned forward, trying to catch the scent from her red hair and feel its texture again. Just as Garrus began to let himself enjoy the sensations and strange closeness, rather than fight it as he had back on Noveria, Shepard let go of his back and broke his hold, stepping away.

Her cheeks were a reddish color now in appearance. Confused, he almost asked after it, but was unable to as Shepard gave him a quick nod and then walked out of the medbay.

Garrus stared at the closed door for a while, trying to decipher it all. Shepard had needed the contact, but had she needed it specifically from him? Was she just missing the old protective turian from her childhood after speaking about the memories? Garrus wasn’t sure, but as he thought over it all, he was touched by how much Shepard honestly cared about his welfare and his friendship.

He lay back on the bed, pulling a sheet carefully over him as he adjusted on his side so his fringe could lay flat and not catch on anything.

And why, exactly why, had his body liked the proximity, the nearness and touch of this alien human female?

Garrus sighed a little, feeling the exhaustion overtaking him. His last waking thought was of Chellick’s words...that maybe one day he'd realize that he didn't have to be attracted to an entire species to feel something for one of its members. _  
_  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR: CITADEL BREAK 2** _  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_Having planted the bug for Emily Wong to do a story about concerns for the Citadel’s traffic controllers, Shepard, Kaidan and Garrus were headed back toward the upper markets. Shepard had previously ordered in a mod for Kaidan to help with his implant, for which he was extremely grateful.

Shepard felt bad that she and the LT hadn’t spent much time together, not even as much as Ashley, but she knew why. Each time she was around Kaidan, he got that small smile on his face, one she implicitly understood and one she had to push away. He was kind, compassionate, and a hell of a Marine, but she just couldn’t smile back that way. Not after her last relationship with Jake.

Jake had been a direct superior of hers back in the Academy. Fraternization was completely out of the question, but he had made his interests obvious, catching her own attention. Shepard had been able to secure a few small sweet moments with him before he'd been called out on assignment, and his subsequent death from fighting mercs near a human colony in the Terminus had almost destroyed part of her young self’s emotions.

Now as they began to move up the stairs, Shepard realized there was another reason she had pushed Kaidan away some. The very observant LT was honing in on something extremely private to her that even she was trying to explain away and rationalize—her complex feelings about Garrus, _someone else_ she couldn't and shouldn't risk fraternization with, either.

After she had left Garrus in the medbay to rest, Kaidan had asked to speak with her privately.

“He matters a lot,” Kaidan had observed.

“Yes, he does. You all do,” Shepard had replied, trying to be cautious in her word choice.

Shepard thought back to what Kaidan had said before he had left the room, that day, a sad smile on his face: “Of course, Shepard, just not as much as him. And that’s okay.”

She hadn’t realized she’d paused in her reflections until she felt Kaidan’s warm hand on her shoulder. “Shepard?”

“Sorry. Lost in thought,” she murmured, glancing to her side to see Garrus’s facial plates moving in concern.

They finished trekking upstairs to the upper level markets. Shepard groaned a little when she saw the familiar blond man standing in the same spot he had on her last two Citadel trips. It was like a direct ping went out to Conrad's omni-tool the second she docked.

Plastering a smile on her face, Shepard moved to him and braced herself for the inevitable.

“Commander Shepard! How good to see you again,” Conrad began, face animated in excitement.

Shepard shook his extended hand. “And you, too, Conrad. Have you been well?”

“Very! Listen, I’ve got some great ideas I’d love to run by you, Spectre.”

Kaidan shifted next to her, obviously feeling protective. “The Commander’s very busy right now preparing for a trip.”

Conrad nodded, “I can only imagine, but that’s part of it. Commander, if you could push my name, get me noticed, I could join the Spectres! I could be like you, helping fight for the galaxy!”

Shepard paled, realizing how deluded the man was; he wasn’t unkind, just far too excitable and probably a little mentally unstable. As Kaidan took a step forward, Shepard gave him a sharp glance to rein him in. She turned back to the excited fan. “Conrad, I appreciate the concern, but that’s not the best idea.”

“Why not?” he asked, genuinely hurt.

Shepard sighed and rubbed her eyes briefly. “Conrad, it’s not that easy to just get someone into the Spectres.”

“Trust me, I would know,” Garrus said off to her left.

Conrad looked at the turian and back to Shepard, eyes a little wet. “But I just want to help you!”

“Conrad, you can do me a big help and return to Earth. How long has it been since you were home?” Shepard asked.

“Several months. But how could that help you?”

Shepard carefully spoke, “Because you could talk to people. We need humanity ready for any possible later threats to the whole galaxy.”

Conrad stared at her, unsure. “I don’t know.”

“Trust me, Conrad. I’m not going to be back on Earth anytime soon, and it’d be great if someone could help me out.”

He took a step toward her. Shepard understood that Conrad was definitely excitable and more genuine than people could realize, but he was not dangerous. Kaidan and Garrus, however, didn’t. Immediately Shepard found the squad mates stepping in between her and the fan.

“You heard her, Conrad,” Kaidan said just as Garrus growled.

Both of them turned to see each other each taking a defensive stance, surprised. Shepard tossed her hands up and shoved between them, letting them stare at each other. “Conrad, it would be a great help to me if you could do that. I mean it.”

The scared fan finally smiled again and nodded. “Then I’ll do it, Commander. Anything to help.”

“I really appreciate it!” Shepard watched the man leave, a new bounce in his step, and sighed loudly. She turned to see Garrus and Kaidan still eyeing each other in a way that Shepard instinctually knew was a combination of surprise and rivalry. “Guys?”

Their heads snapped to her together. Kaidan relaxed first. “Sorry, Shepard. Just worried he was going to get aggressive after being shot down.”

“Same here,” Garrus murmured, looking away.

“Well, it’s over now,” Shepard said and gestured for them to follow her over to the volus merchant nearby.

  
  


\-------------------------

  
  


Garrus sighed inwardly as he, Shepard, and Kaidan made their way from the human embassies toward a bar area on the opposite side. He couldn’t believe how quick he’d had to keep his instincts in check when Kaidan mirrored his movements with the fan earlier. The truth was that Garrus had forced himself to swallow down the primal feelings of a territorial challenge. Looking at the LT, Garrus had known something regardless of his lack of knowledge of most human expressions—and that was that Kaidan had feelings for Shepard beyond the loyalty and respect of a superior.

Garrus had no choice but to think about it because, _damn it_ , _he_ had some kind of feelings for her, too, if he honestly had felt the stirrings of the challenge in him. It wasn't just curiosity now and then. It wasn't just friendly respect that had had him arguing with Chellick in the past, not if he had also felt his body respond the last two times she had been close enough to touch him as she had. It was something deep. Significant. Confusing.  
  
Shepard found him attractive and had said so. And he _liked_ that. Liked that the way he would if a turian female had shown him interest.

He considered it all as he watched Shepard argue with an Alliance man over a soldier’s body from the Eden Prime attack. Shepard was trying to get the body back so a husband could bury his dead wife, but the soldier explained the body was needed for research. Shepard exploded at that, arguing that research could be conducted else wise given the amount of time they'd had the poor woman's body, and she inevitably threatened to use her Spectre authority if she needed to do so. Watching her grow so protective and honorable made Garrus realize that no matter the depth of respect he did hold for Shepard, his admiration of her had definitely changed, evolved from what it had originally been when he’d met her and come aboard the _Normandy_. He admired her for many reasons, but deep down he knew there _was_ mild attraction underlying it all.  
  
He didn't know a damn thing about her physical body. But her spirit...that he knew. _And damn him, it was a sexy one, too._

Staying quiet as Shepard momentarily left to tell the Indian man his wife’s body was being returned to him, Garrus leaned back against a wall.

Kaidan surprised him by moving in front of him. “Garrus, can we talk?”

“About what, Kaidan?” Garrus asked, nonchalantly.

“I uh...you know,” Kaidan began, “about whatever happened back with Conrad.”

Garrus shifted his weight. “We both reacted to what we thought might have been a threat.”

Kaidan stared at him, unblinking, causing Garrus to want to fidget a little. He tried not to let the human make him feel so nervous, but failed when the LT said, “You care about her.”

“Of course I do. I respect Shepard,” Garrus said, voice low and quiet. “She's my friend.”

It was one of those times when Garrus was thankful for the limited hearing range of humans; had Kaidan heard like a turian, he would have picked up the blatant nervousness in Garrus’s subharmonics and the underlying threat to leave it alone. Both would have totally given way for any other turian to pursue, sensing weakness.

“Garrus, come on. You may be turian, but I’m not an idiot. I care about her, too, and am able to see it in others who feel similarly,” Kaidan countered. “I’ll admit it’s a bit weird for me to imagine...you know, considering everything, but hey. Shepard might be more open minded than most humans in that area.”

Garrus returned his stare, trying to get the LT to shut up. It was just...so new. All of it was so _new_ for him to feel, and the less pressure on it, the better. “She’s my friend, Kaidan...my best friend. Of course I care.”

“Even you know what I mean by ‘care,’ Garrus.” Kaidan finally blinked, sighing.  
  
He moved to rest against the wall next to Garrus, crossing his arms over his chest. Garrus eyed him from his position, aggravated by the LT’s continued conversation. Until Garrus could come to full terms with the strange feelings, he didn’t want to talk about them with anyone.

Kaidan’s eyes were straight ahead, though he still spoke toward Garrus. “You’re luckier than you know.”

“What do you mean?” Garrus asked, genuinely confused.

“What you feel...you may not understand it, or want to understand, or hell, even want to feel it, but it’s returned—” Kaidan’s sentence cut off as Shepard came toward them. Garrus swallowed hard at Kaidan’s interrupted words as his eyes trained on Shepard’s green ones.

She paused, taking the sight of them in and probably trying to gauge what they were speaking about before Garrus pushed off the wall, acting as if nothing had occurred.

“Everything all right?” Shepard asked, her tone concerned.

Garrus nodded. “Yeah.”

“Just waiting on you, Shepard,” Kaidan said with his usual smile.   
  
When Shepard turned past them to speak with a nearby asari about a private matter, Garrus caught Kaidan glancing at him.  
  
The LT merely gave him a small nod, though what it could mean, he didn't know.  
  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE: MISSING MARINES**

  
  


Since the strange moment Shepard had caught on the Citadel between Kaidan and Garrus, she’d noticed how the two barely spoke, and yet all kinds of communication seemed to be happening all the same in their tense movements, particularly with Garrus. And that, of course, concerned her more.  
  
When everyone sat to eat while on the run to Admiral Kahoku’s last coordinates of his missing marine unit in the Artemis Tau Cluster, the two men barely conversed with anyone. Instead, Wrex, Liara, Ashley and Tali had talked as Shepard listened. Wrex told the women about an asari commando he had once fought and worked against, and how the asari had managed to escape afterward. Ashley and Liara asked questions next to Tali while Shepard’s eyes wandered briefly to Kaidan and Garrus sitting off to the side. Both were eating quietly...too quietly.

Shepard angled herself away from the chatty end of the table to focus on them. “Is something wrong, guys?”

Garrus’s head snapped up, his blue eyes startled and his mandibles fluttering lightly to the sides. Kaidan glanced toward her, smiling as always. “Nothing, Commander. Just eating.”

“You’re normally as chatty as these two,” Shepard said, jerking her thumb back at Ashley and Tali.

Garrus shrugged. “Bit tired, actually. I’ll probably catch some more shut eye.”

Shepard stared him down. The only visible sign of his nervousness to her was the tightness evident in his mandibles’ new position against his face. That particular expression was one she had learned all too well in her childhood—the _leave it alone_ one. She sighed in defeat. “All right.”

Garrus deposited his trash properly and gave everyone a wave before heading to the elevator. Shepard now focused on Kaidan. “What is going on, LT?”

“Nothing, Shepard. It’s all fine.” He began to act as he usually did, as if to confirm his words, though his eyes did stray to follow Garrus momentarily.

She didn’t believe him, but she settled back to eat her now lukewarm rations.

  
  


\-------------------------

  
  


As the Mako dropped onto Edolus’s sandy ground in the Sparta system, Shepard immediately had the scanners looking for the transmitter’s signal that the _Normandy_ had picked up.  
Garrus sat next to her, letting her drive as he prepped for any rocket targeting. Behind them Kaidan rested a little, head angled to see the screens in front of them.

Garrus had shaken his head when Shepard had ordered them both to get in the Mako for the UNC mission to discover what had happened to Kahoku’s Marines. He wasn’t sure why Shepard really thought there to be something wrong between he and the human LT; in fact, they were actually starting to get along better than they ever had because of what they both realized they had in common—Shepard. Though no verbal discussion really had occurred, Garrus had found a few short messages here and there from Kaidan that entertained him enormously. One was from Kaidan working at his station—after a great game of Skyllian Five, which Garrus won hands-down, Kaidan kept hearing Shepard pacing and muttering in her quarters with Garrus’s name popping up frequently. Another message had made Garrus unsure of how to reply: “I’ll always care,” he'd written, “but I won’t interfere.”

So when they got into the Mako, he and Kaidan had smiled at each other knowingly as they obeyed Shepard’s next orders, knowing she was trying to promote unit cohesion between them.

Currently, he watched the screens as Shepard bounced her way over some rough terrain. The wind outside of the Mako was decently strong, pushing them slightly to the right with each movement they made. Garrus teased her a little until they passed through a narrow area, coming up on a large, flat space of sand. The scanners and their visuals picked up the transmitter’s location at last, along with an upturned M29 Grizzly vehicle.

Shepard’s heart rate rose ridiculously high as the Mako stopped dead. Garrus quickly turned to look at her, her fear so strong he was smelling it now in the air. He leaned a hand over to touch her shoulder. “Shepard, are you okay?”

Kaidan had sat up straighter, leaning close as well.

Shepard swallowed, her eyes very large on the screens. Something about the way her eyes traced the patterns on the sand seemed mesmerizing before she said, softly, “It’s...a...maw’s nest.”

“Fuck,” Garrus growled, realizing now what had happened to the marines.

He carefully watched Shepard next to him before she sharply turned. Her eyes were no longer soft; in fact, they appeared deadly, and the look in them would have caused hair to stand on Garrus’s neck, had he had any.

“Get out,” she ordered, her voice even.

“Commander,” Kaidan began, realizing why she was upset.

Shepard spun. “I said get out!”

Garrus looked at her, stunned. She wasn’t budging in her stare. To his own surprise, he and Kaidan obeyed her order, snapping on their helmets and sliding from the Mako’s hatch. They moved to stand behind a higher area of terrain cover, watching the Mako closely, hoping she would step out with them. Hoping she just needed a damn minute to regroup emotionally.

“What the fuck is she going to do?” Kaidan asked, extremely worried.

Garrus swallowed over his comm. “What I think she is going to do. Kill that maw without any danger to us.”

Kaidan immediately panicked, trying to move past him, but Garrus grabbed the LT’s shoulder. “Just wait. Maybe she’ll change her mind.”

As if to prove him wrong, the Mako started rolled forward toward the nest. Kaidan was close to losing it, as he shouted, “She’s going to get herself killed!”

Together, they sprinted up some terrain, laying flat on their stomachs and bracing against the wind. Garrus watched the Mako through his Mantis’s scope, telling Kaidan what he saw.

The ground shook beneath them as Shepard neared the nest. Garrus’s own heartbeat was echoing loudly in his ears as the thresher maw rose from the ground, causing the surface below his stomach to shudder. Immediately rockets fired from the Mako. The maw recoiled in pain before sending a ball of acid spit toward the vehicle. Garrus watched the Mako hop twice and roll backward behind a high wall of harder sand and rock.

Spirits. If she lived through it, he'd kill her, Garrus thought, furious at Shepard as the Mako moved around during the maw’s quick underground travels. It rose again and took more rockets, this time falling briefly on its giant side. The ground began to quake hard as the wounded maw traveled closer toward Shepard in the Mako, prepping for an underground strike.

Garrus roared loudly over the comm, practically screaming into Shepard’s channel. “Shepard, move! Move!”

The Mako sat still, as if waiting, and Garrus definitely decided he was going to kill her. At the least shake the damn life out of her. Kaidan, unable to help it, shot some biotics when the maw rose from the sand, distracting it enough for Shepard to let loose a few more rockets and drive the Mako further away.

Garrus fired a round from the Mantis into the maw’s gigantic head, making it twist momentarily to look for their location.

“Stop!” Shepard shouted over his audio, her voice furious. To gain its attention again she fired two more rockets.

The maw weaved a little before it finally fell to one side, breathing heavily. An acidic blast hit the Mako before it could jump away; Garrus saw the sizzling of the vehicle’s shields and felt worry tear through him.

“Shepard!” he yelled, watching the Mako roll closer to where the maw lay. “Don’t be stupid, Shepard!”

The Mako fired another two rockets. It was then that Garrus finally sighed in relief as his visor reported the maw to bleed out in front of them. He told Kaidan, and they slid down an embankment, running out toward where the Mako had stilled; Garrus’s much stronger and longer turian legs took him there quicker than Kaidan’s human ones.

The hatch opened and Shepard slid out with her helmet on and pistol in hand as they neared her location. “Shepard!” Kaidan called, trying to get her attention.

Garrus watched Shepard storm over to the where the maw lay dead and fire several rounds into its head. A sound erupted over his audio, hurting his ears momentarily, before he realized its source—it was screaming. Shepard stood screaming, her voice almost like that of an angry female turian. It caused his anger to abate some, and he felt concern in its place.

“You son of a bitch! You fucking worm!” Shepard let loose, firing until bullets stopped erupting from the end of her gun.

Garrus neared her first, hearing the clicking of her still pulling the pistol’s trigger. The wind pushed him, but he stayed on his feet. Slowly he approached her side, unsure of her mental state. “Shepard, what the _fuck_ were you thinking?”

She ignored him, but had stopped trying to shoot imaginary bullets.

After a moment, she backed up.

“It’s dead,” she said, her voice strange.

“Yes...it is. You killed it,” Garrus replied softly.

Some part of him knew Shepard needed gentleness right now, that she was probably reliving Akuze right at that moment, but as he tried to figure the best method of giving it to her she ran off to his left. Garrus turned, catching her aiming for the bodies of the missing marines.

As he walked after her, Kaidan caught up to his side. “Is she...?”

“She’s a little out of it, probably from flashbacks or whatnot,” Garrus admitted in his concern. “Fucking Akuze.”

Kaidan nodded as they closed in on Shepard. She was pulling the bodies together, picking up dog tags that she could see lying in the sand. As they grew closer, Garrus could catch her shaking, both through his helmet and visor.

“Shepard,” he said softly. His subharmonics gave reassuring coos that she couldn’t hear.

She didn’t reply, just finished what she was doing before striding over to the transmitter. Shepard brought her omni-tool up, scanned the transmitter to gain information about it, and then promptly began to kick the thing over. When it refused to budge more than a few inches, Garrus moved to join her.

“Let me,” he insisted, his tone still gentle.

Shepard stilled a little at his side, letting him know she had heard him in the audio. Garrus snapped his Mantis back into its holster, and with all his might he began to kick at the transmitter. His turian legs did the trick; Shepard moved to where the transmitter lay on the sand, still half-beeping its signal. She reloaded her pistol and fired into it, bursting parts of the machine.

Then, deadly calm, Shepard stalked past Garrus and Kaidan toward the Mako. They followed, getting into the hatch behind her and unsnapping their helmets. Shepard sat quietly at the driver’s seat, still shaking a little.

By that point Garrus knew what he needed to do. Not caring about Kaidan’s presence, Garrus carefully leaned forward and pulled Shepard against his armored side in a makeshift hug. She didn’t refuse, but didn’t react in any other fashion other than leaning her face against his armor. He felt her shake for a few more moments before she slowly seemed to regain herself. Garrus let go when he felt the change shift, and she looked up at him with awareness that she’d lacked since she’d realized what the nest was.

“I’m sorry,” she said plainly, turning to look back at Kaidan.

“It’s okay, Commander,” the LT replied, reaching forward to squeeze her hand for a moment.

Shepard squeezed back and let go before looking up at Garrus. She stared for a few moments, her green eyes searching him, before she whispered, “Thank you.”

Garrus merely nodded. It was only after that that Shepard called for Joker to report the findings to Admiral Hackett and Kahoku and to meet them at coordinates she specified for pick up.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX: THE RISE OF CERBERUS**

  
  
  
Though she had apologized for her actions on Edolus, neither Kaidan nor Garrus had called her on her unprofessional behavior. That fact bothered her a little, since she was ashamed of it, but in that moment Shepard just hadn't been able to imagine losing Garrus and Kaidan like she'd lost her unit on Akuze. She'd refused to see it happen. And she'd done what she had instead.

But even thinking of how Garrus had pulled her closely to his side in the Mako wasn't enough to keep the private smile on Shepard's face after their report was returned from Admiral Kahoku.

Between the _Normandy 's_ subsequent arrival at Binthu, in the Yangtze System of the Voyager Cluster, and their following travels to the neighboring Columbia system, Shepard had had several opportunities to intimately learn just who had planted that transmitter for the marines in the Edolus nest and who had, just as likely, planted her own on Akuze. The group was a human advancement run organization called Cerberus, after the three headed dog guarding the gates of Hades' Underworld itself, and the more Shepard had read in Hackett’s forwarded information about them, the more she grew to believe the name choice apt.  
  
Simply put, they were terrorists. Well funded, well researched, and well armed _mysterious_ terrorists claiming that all they did was for the betterment of humanity and putting humanity first in the galaxy fight for survival.  
  
Cerberus seemed to have its fingers in multiple pies of study, ranging in evidence from the kinds of weapons they used to the obviously prior smuggled Noveria hot lab rachni they'd found on one of the Binthu bases and the just as frightening Thorian creepers taken from ExoGeni's hushed experiments before Species 37's destruction on Feros. The group's fingerprints were all over the steps Saren had taken, the steps _they_ had taken after Saren, and it unnerved the fuck out of Shepard, who couldn't help but feel personally in their sights since Akuze itself.  
  
What they really wanted, she didn't know.  
  
Both the rachni and the once colonists they found were mindless and dangerous, fighting anything and everything that moved, and in honor of the marines on Edolus who had died, and partially for those from Akuze, Shepard had gladly taken up Kahoku’s request to wipe out all of the creatures on Cerberus's three bases on Binthu.

The final base there had had more than Cerberus employed guns—it had also served as the final resting place for Admiral Kahoku himself. The Admiral had not only been feeding them UNC info about the mission to get revenge for his murdered marines but he'd also gone so far as to pursue Cerberus, himself. In the end that lone action, brave as it may have been, cost him, and Shepard had had to be the one to find his body, close his unseeing eyes, and vow continued vengeance in his wake, ready to kill the triple headed dog of Hell if she could.

Shepard had deciphered intel about Cerberus’s main base of operations in the nearby Columbia system from information on Kahoku's body, and the Commander wasted no time traveling to Nepheron and landing in the Mako. Thankfully, the Mako’s rockets had deterred most of the outside fire fighting, and Wrex’s biotics came in handy once the trio had infiltrated the base.  
  
After the room had emptied of Cerberus fighters, Shepard had moved further down a back hall and entered an unlocked room on her right. It was loaded with supplies, which she directed Wrex and Garrus to sift through and take.  
  
As they complied, Shepard moved to a console in the back of the room. She brought up her omni-tool and tried to copy as much information from it as possible before alarms sounded and the console began to wipe itself clean of data. Shepard gazed down at the partially copied encrypted files on her omni-tool, having no idea at the time that she would soon be contacted by not one but _two_ people for it: Admiral Hackett and an agent from the Shadow Broker both wanting inside intel on Cerberus.  
  
She'd sent it to Hackett, of course, growing even more disturbed about not just Cerberus but also the Shadow Broker she'd indirectly encountered so much on the Citadel, his hands in even more pies than Cerberus's likely were. Whomever he was, the figure was powerful, clearly not content with manipulating black market trade, politics, and power-hungry Spectres. He wanted to know more about this mysterious Cerberus group, too, and he'd have to get in line, just like the rest of them.  
  
From there Shepard's chase after Cerberus's tail had taken her on a smaller UNC mission on Ontarom.  
  
She'd been prepared for anything, really. A shoot out, a mysterious note, an argument with some representative of the group. Even more rachni, possibly, though the idea made her guts squirm.  
  
What Shepard had found, though, was a ghost from her own past.

Shepard stared at Corporal Toombs, a once thought dead member from her Akuze squad, as he held the gun to a Cerberus scientist’s head, his eyes crazed. “Toombs?” she asked, her voice barely audible.

“Commander Shepard,” Toombs replied, equally surprised. “What are you doing here?”

“I-I'm...tracking...Cerberus. I never found you,” Shepard said, almost feeling defensive in confronting her obvious failure. “How did you survive?”  
  
Because damn it, it was true, she _had_ looked for him when she had gathered her unit’s bodies. The corporal’s had never been among them that she could find at the time, and when the nearby sunken areas of the maw’s traveling had later uncovered another body, Shepard had assumed Toombs had been found that way.

Toombs tightened his grip on the pistol. “Got caught between the maw and some depth of the nest. Clocked out cold and hidden in the sand by accident. But Cerberus came back for their precious data on what they'd done and found me after Alliance had tried to comb the area. Cerberus ran sick experiments on me after I survived Akuze, Commander, because their stupid test with the maw and us wasn't enough.”  
  
Shepard’s throat tightened. “I’m so sorry, Toombs.”  
  
“I never blamed you, Shepard,” Toombs replied, eyes on the Cerberus employed scientist pinned by his gun. “You weren’t the one injecting maw venom in my veins to see how I’d react.”  
  
“Spirits,” Garrus spoke next to them, mandibles widening and dropping to the sides a little. Wrex hadn’t said a word, just watched the exchange with a disgusted glare.

Shepard held her hands up. “Listen, Toombs. This bastard deserves to fry. I know that. But if you shoot him now, the Alliance won’t be able to get further information from him. We won't know what else Cerberus is doing to others like us, where these other traps are. We're trying to decode encrypted data I was able to partially recover elsewhere, but having a live witness will _help_ the Alliance put this group down!”  
  
“Commander,” Toombs said, his tone warning. “I'm sorry. I am. But you’ll have to kill me first. What they did, what _this fucker did_ to me!”  
  
“I know! I know. But please...don’t do this,” Shepard replied, her voice pleading and starting to break from its attempt at calmness. When Toombs hesitated, Shepard sighed. “Please. Let me get you help, Toombs.”  
  
“You weren't tortured, Shepard,” Toombs argued. “You couldn't understand how I feel. Why I have to kill him.”  
  
Garrus snapped, his words sharp and his gun raised. “She’s been tortured by more than you know, you idiot. Now back off or _I’ll_ shoot you.”  
  
Shepard’s head swung to look at him, at her friend and subordinate next to her so furious on her behalf. In truth the entire situation was fucking with her head and had since Edolus, and Shepard knew now, right now, she had to take back control she'd felt slipping over it all.

With a little exhalation, she turned back to Toombs. “I was never a hero, Toombs. I always knew that. I had failed you guys.”  
  
“Cerberus did it, Commander.”  
  
“Yes.” She stopped trying to argue her emotional point. “Please, Toombs. Let me help you. I promise he won't go unpunished. But you need aid. You need medical attention, care, _safety_. I was your Commander before you were MIA. Please listen and let me do my job now when I couldn't do it then.”  
  
After a few tense, quiet moments, the corporal backed down. His gun never left the side of the trembling, sneering scientist's head, but the corporal's finger was at least less excitedly on the trigger. “Fine, Commander. So long as you promise they'll squeeze all they can out of this bastard.”  
  
Shepard nodded. “Alliance patrol is en route to secure him right now. Just hold tight. You’ll be taken care of, Toombs. Just don’t shoot him before they get here.”  
  
“How close are they?” he asked, as if considering it.  
  
“Near orbit,” Shepard answered. “I'll wait with you.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Yes, Toombs,” Shepard answered, sad and yet glad to be able to be there for him now. “I owe you that much.”  
  
  
  
  
\-------------------------  
  
  
  


It had taken a few hours before Shepard had been willing to leave the site on Ontarom and head back to the _Normandy_. She'd been sure to see the scientist cuffed and carefully isolated with Alliance guards, and then she'd gone the extra step of making sure her past corporal was being treated with respect and medical aid. She'd done all she could to make up for not having been there before, berating herself all the while inside for failing him. For having that hero label slapped on her still when this proved to her that she hadn't earned it at all.  
  
Back aboard their own ship, she had shut herself inside her quarters again for a few days of travel.

She was trying to deal with it all. With guilt. With what little knowledge of Cerberus they did have before they were ordered to let it go, to get back to chasing Saren before they lost sight of him again. Hackett had understood best in his reply to her report, and he'd steered her to focus her rage on the rogue Spectre. The Council had called as well to alert her to an emergency notice from an STG group who'd gone dark on Virmire in the Hok system of the Sentry Omega cluster near the Attican Traverse and Terminus Systems. Saren was undoubtedly part of it.  
  
A knock at her door had her wiping her face of tired stress as she tried to forcibly change focus. “Yes?”  
  
Garrus entered, his head tilted to the side, his mandibles lifting a little in a turian gesture of concern. “Shepard. Come out here.”  
  
“I’m busy,” she replied, trying to appear so at her desk.  
  
“Kaidan, Wrex, and I are playing some Skyllian Five. You’ll feel better if you whip our asses,” he said. Garrus didn’t budge from his spot in the doorway. “Come on, we’re still relays away from Virmire. Gotta do something with the time. Can't sit in here and stew forever.”  
  
Shepard, being stubborn, thought she might be able to wait him out, but Garrus surprised her with patience he had never shown. After several minutes, she finally threw her hands up and pushed herself back from the desk. It surprised her deep down to realize how well Garrus had gotten to know her for him to figure out just what she needed, even when she herself didn’t know.

“Fine,” she answered, moving to walk past him, “but you’d better not cheat.”  
  
Garrus smiled as she passed him, his voice soothing as he reminded her he didn't use his visor to cheat and that it was Shepard herself who played with so called lucky cards.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN: TERRA NOVA, INTERRUPTUS**

  
  
  


  
  
  


Oh God.

Oh God, oh God, oh God.  
  
So help her, Virmire would have to wait.

“Repeat,” Shepard ordered behind Joker's chair.

The pilot looked like he was sweating. They'd gotten another UNC call, and the news was terrifying. “The...asteroid...our VI is picking up traces of burners pushing it specifically toward Terra Nova. Shepard, it's been...hijacked.”

“By _who_?”

“Distress call mentioned batarians. Asteroid was used for mining and has facilities,” Joker explained while he piloted closer toward the flaring torches. There on the scans Shepard could clearly see them: three different housed engines burning thick and hot, pushing the asteroid on a direct path.

“Gotta be fucking kidding me,” she snapped, turned on her heel and barked, “Get us down there. I have to deal with this _right_ _now_.”

Shepard stormed past several startled Alliance crew and down the stairs to the crew deck. Quickly she stuck her head in the medbay, grabbed her gear, shouted Liara's name, and turned for the elevator. The asari ran into it with her, panting and asking questions. As Shepard filled her in, Liara looked dumbstruck, and both ran out the moment the elevator settled in engineering. Shepard suited up as fast as possible, yelling for Garrus nearby.

“What's going on?” he asked, worried as he took in her rush.

Thankfully he was already suited. “The asteroid is a serious problem. Bad. Bad, bad, bad. Get your guns. We're going down.”

“On it,” he rumbled, dual-tone vibrating voice teasing her nerves as he rushed to his locker.

Both members met her at the Mako. Shepard called out a warning to the remainder of them, all of whom had come near wanting to know what was going on. “Listen up, folks! I've got less than four hours to disarm the three hijacked torches pushing the asteroid into Terra Nova. I want you all suited and prepared in case I need back up. We have one Mako, so that'll be limiting us, else I'd have two teams go down.”

“Be careful,” Kaidan murmured, watching with concern.

Shepard nodded, slid in the Mako after Liara and Garrus, and ordered Joker to drop the cargo bay open. A couple of minutes later they did the uncomfortable-for-Liara-but-fun-for-Shepard free fall in the Mako and hit the asteroid's turf. Garrus studied the scans as she took an immediate left, seeing something really close on the sensors on the map. They found a shack with a dead engineer whose notes illuminated the situation: outposts dotted around three facilities where the torches were housed to move the asteroid and one major underground main facility was north above them all.

Batarians had taken over, killing many and taking control of the steering.

In many ways Shepard couldn't help but be afraid. Yes they were on a timer, even hotter than the one with Saren. But her father had been killed in a similar batarian takeover situation, and she was not comfortable with this. At all.

They trudged back and over to the next station, checked a second body, and drove down to the first flare. The inside of the building was loaded with batarians and trained varren, and they blasted through everything they found—Liara's biotics controlled the field, blocking enemy access with singularities, and Garrus and Shepard sniped many of the intruders trying to stay back from the asari's range. Shepard ran up the flight of stairs, found the controls of the first flare, and quickly hijacked them again, disabling the torch entirely.

A whispered, terrified voice came over the room's comm. “Hello? I know you're there, helping. Please, _they're going to kill_ us!”

“Miss? I'm Commander Shepard, Alliance and Spectres. Please tell me where you are,” Shepard relayed, waiting, heart pounding.

“They're coming! We're in the main facility. They...oh God, just please stop them. Stop the torches!”

Shepard tried to get the woman to respond to more prompts, but the signal was cut. Worried, she bounded back down the stairs where her team had kept guard in case of more batarians. Garrus gave her a look as she closed in. “Shepard, you'll wanna see this.”

"What?”

“Commander,” a man sighed near the door. “I'm so relieved you're here.”

“Who are you?” she asked pointedly, already pushing to leave. Time was too much of a damn factor. “Were you spared?”

The man rubbed his face tiredly. “Name's Simon Atwell, head engineer. I noticed the torch went off and I came to see what was going on. The damn batarians have taken control, and they're steering us straight into the capital city. Even if we managed to hit water, everyone will vaporize. It's critical we stop the torches before the threshold mark.”

Shepard nodded immediately. “Understood. Why are the batarians here?”

“I don't know. They're slavers and pirates. It makes no sense. Their leader, Balak, just showed up and took over.”

“Damn,” Garrus sighed.

“I'll head for the main facility and try to retake it. There's people still there, and I'm worried about them. When you move for the second torch, watch the ground. They put sensors everywhere. You step too close, you blow up. No vehicles. Disable the sensors with a console near the door,” he advised and began to turn away. “You...didn't happen across any other engineers, did you? I'm missing three of my staff.”

“I found two bodies so far,” Shepard admitted, feeling a little sad as the man winced.

“Good people. Damn it.”

“Also had a woman talk to me when I disabled the first torch. She couldn't get much across to me. Said batarians were near.”

Simon's brow rose. “Kate Bowman. She's still alive. Oh thank God.”

“Kate. Okay. I'll get these torches. Meet you there,” Shepard said and rushed out the door back to the Mako.

Once they were en route toward the second flare, Garrus piped up, “Commander, how...do you want to approach this sensor problem?”

Shepard rubbed her chin as they drew close, visually seeing what Simon had warned them about. Dozens of mine sensors stuck out of the ground, about six feet apart in rows, blocking direct access to the door. Shepard sighed, studied it one more time, and turned in her seat. “Garrus, get up on the Mako with your sniper rifle. Cover me. I'll run through, stay as middle as possible between them. Liara, go toward this rock over here on the right and distract any fire toward you if you can. Get me a clean run to disable these bastards, and we'll be good.”

“Got it,” both team members said, breathy as they all moved toward the hatch.

She bounced on her feet, nerves wound, terrified and exhilarated at the idea of what she was about to do. It was...sort of like the mad dash in the hot labs on Noveria. Maybe a little scarier, since she couldn't just run away from this enemy. Liara ran for her spot, keeping low, while Garrus set his Mantis up on the top of the Mako. He paused to look at her, and Shepard saw the worry in his eyes behind the helmet.

“I'll be okay. You've got my back,” she assured him, trying to also assure herself.

“I can only do so much, Shepard. You still have to navigate all that. Please...just....” Garrus paused, looked for Liara and found her settling behind some curved rock. His blue eyes swung back to her, and he reached for her shoulder. “Be careful.”

Shepard melted a little, nodded, and slid her hand up to grab his from her shoulder to squeeze slightly. She turned away, empowered by the flash of _something_ that went through his eyes, and heard him scrambling up the vehicle as she approached the rows of sensors.

“Okay, just a few steps at a time. You've got this,” she muttered to herself and took a deep breath. “Okay.”

“I see three batarians by the door. One has a rocket launcher,” Garrus chimed in her ear.

Liara's voice responded as Shepard past the first row, exhaling. “I'll distract him so you can get a shot. Shepard will be seen very soon.”

Indeed. Thirty seconds later Shepard had her gun out, already returning fire as she began to hop forward, very crazily darting around the sensors and hearing them beep louder the closer she got into one's range. It was strange; they were in space, but the sounds picked up enough through their sensitive microphones, and so the beeps were loud yet not. Almost seeming too close yet too far away, making it hard for her to tell she was staying safe distance from the sensors.

Biotics dragged one of the batarians up to her right farther away, and she could hear Liara firing with a pistol, getting attention. Then a resounding _crack_ hit the comms, filtered from Garrus's mic, and Shepard saw the batarian on her far left go down.

God help her, it turned her on a little.

Shepard managed most of the rows, finding a rhythm between the distractions. Close to the end the beeping got extremely loud, and she jumped a foot to her right away from a sensor, screamed, and heard the one there beep as loudly.

“Shepard!” Garrus called out over her fast breathing as she gathered her tension in her legs and shot into the air, springing over the last two rows and barely making it to the free side.

She panted heavily, heard the crack in her comm again, and looked up in time to see a batarian aiming at her go down. Quickly she stood, shot the remaining one concentrating on Liara, and ran for the terminal near the door. It took a moment of technical ingenuity, but she got it done, and a small sigh of relief went through her as she ordered her squad to regroup. Garrus drove the Mako over the sensors, unconcerned now, and parked nearby.

When they recollected, guns out, Shepard entered the second building. She ordered a rinse and repeat of building one, again utilizing Liara's biotics as traps. Garrus fried weapons on two batarians, Shepard put down a couple of varren, and a few minutes later it was quiet again. She needed to sit for a moment, to breathe, but nearly ninety minutes had already passed.

This time when Shepard disabled the torch, she greeted Kate urgently when the woman came back on the comms, grateful. Unfortunately as Kate tried to further explain the situation, Shepard heard batarian voices enter into the audio, commanding Kate to step aside. She then listened, in shock, as Kate refused and someone, a hostage used as a threat, was shot. The batarians quickly cut the audio feed after that, and Shepard barely ran back down the stairs without falling, so damn angry and so damn afraid for Kate.

  
  


\-------------------------

  
  


Forty minutes later the team had found the third engineer's body near the last torch facility. Shepard was sweating invisible bullets as the time raced, her eyes constantly going to the clock on her omni-tool every few moments. Neither Garrus nor Liara said much; both knew the pressure was too intense for small talk. They followed her orders without rebuttal, keeping her calmer as she rushed ahead for the third torch. Fifteen minutes of skilled Mako maneuvering to take out turrets, then another ten inside the building itself: The bottom floor had been divided in half with electronic equipment, and the batarians were funneled toward them to even get a shot. Made things easier, in her book.

Shepard ran up the stairs, at this point familiar with the exact number since all three torch buildings were the same craft build, and jumped the top step, darting into the room nearby. She turned off the last torch with a triumphant “hah!” and finally took a large wheezing breath.

Garrus and Liara had stayed down by the staircase. Shepard needed to go back down, but damn it, just give her two seconds to celebrate. No more torches. They'd _done it_.

“Shepard, there's a batarian group wanting to parlay,” Garrus mumbled in her comm.

She snarled, kicked the terminal in the room, and stomped back down the stairs. Liara's eyes widened as she saw Shepard grumbling before she pushed out in front of the asari and Garrus and saw the small group assembled opposite them. Shepard glared and took a step, pistol raised. “What? I was celebrating beating your asses. I disabled the torches. _All of them_.”

The leader snorted. “Don't come closer.”

“Fine. Speak.”

“Balak wants you taken out. Regardless of the torches going offline, you have to be dealt with now.”

“Then Balak can come fight me.”

“He's got hostages in the main building...and bombs,” the head batarian grumbled. “He wants me to kill you here.”

Shepard noticed how uncomfortable the guy looked. And for some reason it made her go out on a limb. “And what do _you_ want?”

Garrus sharply looked to her, nearly having a stroke at that question.

The batarian himself seemed suspicious, but caved. “I want out. We came to raid and take slaves. Balak's gone too far with this, trying to wipe out Terra Nova as blood payment for batarian lives and money cost by humanity's interference with us and the Council.”

“Well screw him. Go. You let me deal with him, you get out of here. Time's tickin'.”

“Commander,” Garrus gushed, surprised.

Liara snickered as Shepard shrugged, eyes still on the batarian. “Fewer to fight, bombs to deal with, I've got no choice. Well?”

The batarian she spoke with finally sighed with a nod. “Let's go,” he told the others. “Take care of him. I don't want to be running forever.”

Shepard gave him a curt nod, and they waited as the batarians filed out first. Garrus turned to her as they walked to the door. “Shepard, that....”

“No lectures. We're on schedule. They won't be running forever.”

“I was just gonna say...that was impressive,” he said, snickering now, too.

Shepard flushed behind her helmet while they all slid into the Mako.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT: TERRA NOVA, INTERRUPTUS 2**

  
  


  
  


He'd shot probably fifty fucking batarians in two and a half hours. Ridiculous, unheard of, and disgusting, given the situation, but he'd done it. And when they'd gotten to the final building, killed the outside turrets and gone inside, Garrus had been ready for the showdown to be over.

Spirits, fate thought itself was hilarious.

When they actually got inside there were at least a dozen more batarians with drones, varren, and biotics attacking them from all around the two-leveled room. They hid in stairwells, rooms, even a small container on the bottom floor below. Garrus kept going for the drones, thinking that at least he could spare them that fire and focus so Shepard and Liara could concentrate on the batarians running about.

It worked.

He shook off the adrenaline-fueled twitching as Shepard ran down the lowest set of stairs, seeing a bomb. It scared him how fast she moved for it, and he shouted, thinking they were forgetting something.

The snark of the batarian leader yelling at them nearby was the reminder.

“Humans!” Balak snarled, the yellow markings over his four-eyed batarian face so bright in the lighting. “You ruin everything!”

Shepard aimed her pistol, Garrus his assault rifle. They eyed the trio of batarians facing them, everyone in the room breathing heavily in sync.

“You're coming with _me_ , Balak,” Shepard snarled back. Her anger was fierce, but needed, pushing Garrus to hone his focus even more. Liara looked equally affected, standing firm near them.

Balak laughed. “Perhaps. You get to make a choice, human. Even if this rock doesn't hit your precious colony now, these bombs _will_ destroy this facility and the lives of the hostages inside it. And you barely have time to defuse them now.”

Shepard's eyes lit up like fire.

“Choose, human. A fight or their lives...and maybe your own, if you're fast enough.”

Garrus knew what she'd do. And he didn't blame her in the least. Still, it shocked him to hear the dark fury as she replied, “Then walk, asshole. But I'm gonna find you. And it's gonna fucking hurt when I do. Hope you hide under every rock you see.”

Balak spat their way and took off up the stairs behind him, his group following. Shepard's focus was already off of the batarians and back on the bomb. Quickly she dropped to her knees, and Garrus saw her face fall heavily. His eyes slid to the bomb, and he realized why: They had less than two minutes.

“There are three bombs. One in the room on the first level above me that I saw. One on the second to my upper right, if I remember correctly. Both of you move, and move fucking fast. I'll relay what to do when you're in position,” she commanded, glancing at them once with a look that Garrus figured meant any lesser subordinate might have been shot for questioning.

With nods they took off. Garrus went for the room, Liara for the other stairs higher, using her biotics to float up to save time. As he slid into position, Garrus realized the bomb he had chosen was extremely close to an inner locked room of humans staring at him through glass in terror. As if the pressure hadn't already been enough.

He swallowed tightly, bent to a knee, and confirmed his location. Liara confirmed not ten seconds later.

“Okay,” Shepard began calmly in their comms. One minute left. “This type looks a lot like what I was trained years ago to defuse in batarian raids. This is shit Dad lived for. We've got this. Take off the front face plate.”

Garrus trusted her and removed the piece of metal without hesitation.

“You'll see four wires, a couple of buttons, and the timer. These bombs are tricked. The wire colors are lies and duplicitous. The buttons are distraction and only for set up. We only need one disconnect here—just for disarm, not for self-destruct. I'm going to attempt this on my bomb. If this goes right, you do it, too.”

His heart sank into his gut. Shepard could die any second...away from him. Without him. Without his help. “Shepard,” he whispered, hearing Liara do something similar in the comm line.

“On my mark, I am going to disconnect the second half of wire three from port one on the right side. Mark.”

Blue eyes closed. Garrus's heart stopped beating, his lungs stopped taking breath, and he braced himself for the noise...for failure. When nothing happened but a mild, “Fuck you, Balak,” in his comm, he sighed so loudly he almost didn't hear her instructions.

Garrus followed the third wire's right connection up to the first port it was in, and he grabbed, twisted, and popped it just as Shepard described in very fast, deliberate words. Garrus closed his eyes. And all that happened was the beeping in front of him stopped. The numbers stopped. Liara sighed heavily on her end, no doubt having the intense relief he himself was.  
  
Without Shepard's knowledge...they'd have been dead trying to stop the bombs.

Quickly he got on his feet, hearing the pounding of the humans on the glass near him, and ran for their door. He barked out his location and the humans' situation in the comm, and Shepard and Liara made their way to his side. Shepard told the people to back far away, shot at the lock, and used the butt of her gun to break the rest of it. Garrus then shoved the door open harshly, freeing the people who came rushing forward with gratitude and shaking fear.

One woman near the back of the line paused, looked Shepard over several times, then softly whispered a thank you.

Shepard blinked and reached her hand out reassuringly. “Kate?” she asked.

Kate nodded, her light hair framing her face. “Yes, Commander. Balak....”

“He ran. I had no choice if I wanted to stop this. But I'll get him. I promise you that.”

“I believe you.”

“Who...who was killed earlier?” Shepard questioned, looking very concerned.

Garrus turned away, letting the humans and Liara speak in feminine solidarity after hearing Kate murmur that it had been her own brother.

  
  


\-------------------------

  
  


After meeting with Simon one last time to be sure everyone on the asteroid could get help, Shepard and the team drove the Mako out far enough for a reception pick up zone. No one inside spoke until after the cargo bay had closed, the ship was well off, and Shepard herself had silently exited the Mako first.

Then there was a clap. A loud one from Ashley. A cheer from Kaidan. And the rest of the _Normandy_ followed suit, clapping and congratulating the squad on their job well done. Tali hugged Liara as the asari explained some of what happened, but Garrus saw Shepard going to the elevator, somehow unnoticed. He followed quietly, sliding in with her as she shut the door.

“Garrus,” she acknowledged.

She looked tired. She smelled angry and bitter still despite sounding relieved. Something inside of him nudged to help take the ache away. Garrus reached out before he could stop himself and took Shepard's hand.

He watched her green gaze drop down to it, then slowly look up at his face.

Garrus smiled. “Victory, Shepard. Balak's marked. Alliance will hunt him.”

“I know,” she whispered, not blinking, but still holding his hand.

“Then take a breath. Let it out. And remember I'm here,” he murmured, squeezed her fingers, and gently let go as the elevator resettled. Garrus noticed her stare after him as he exited, and he glanced over his shoulder. “Shepard?” he called.

She shook whatever off was in her thoughts. “Yeah?”

Garrus ignored the Alliance human member walking by, keeping his eyes on hers. “That was the bravest thing I've ever seen anyone do. Don't ever let anyone else tell you otherwise.”

She'd taken the torches down. She'd rescued people. She'd disabled the first bomb, alone, facing death. And she'd won as much as possible in the situation.

Shepard was fearless, leading him forward.

At first she kind of huffed, looking red in the face, but then she gave him a little nod and a soft thanks under her breath. Before she turned for her quarters, no doubt to write her report instead of rest, Garrus caught her look over him, smile strangely to herself, and walk away, murmuring his name.  
  
  


* * *


	3. Part 3: Chapters 39-54

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fic Series from 2014-15, additional writing for gaps like Vol 2.5 (originally unplanned) from 2016-18.  
> Mass Effect owned by Bioware, EA.  
> Thanks for letting us play our own stories in your world.

* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE: VIRMIRE**

  
  


  
  


Shepard decided to take Ashley and Kaidan with her for the Mako drop onto Virmire. Not long after she’d received the intel about the salarian STG group from the Council, Shepard had had Joker plot a course, but had gotten interrupted with the batarian threat to Terra Nova and finally was back on track. Her gut had told her that something momentous would happen on this beautiful paradise of a planet, and as the Mako landed with a harsh bounce and jerk, that feeling grew even stronger.

She rolled the vehicle forward, preparing a trek through the navigation console to remove the two AA guns threatening the Normandy from securing a good location near the STG’s area. In the back of Shepard’s mind, even while Ashley and Kaidan discussed the gorgeous land around them, was the conversation she had had with Garrus before leaving in the Mako:

_Garrus had kept his face angled downward, a sign Shepard was sure had multiple interpretations. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go?” he asked, his voice soft._

_“It’s not that I don’t want you to, Garrus. I always want you on my six. It’s just that it’s not often I’ve gotten to take my Alliance crew out together, and we were the team who survived Eden Prime. I owe it to them,” she explained, trying to get him to understand her respect and feelings for Ashley and Kaidan._

_“I understand, Shepard. I guess I’ve just gotten used to always going with you.”_

_She had shifted a little, catching the strange tone of his voice. “When we rendezvous down there I’ll probably have you right back on my six and you know it.”_

_He had laughed at that. “Shepard, I’m not trying to push or bribe my way into the first picks for squad mates. It’s just when I’m down there, with you, I know what’s going on...if you’re kicking ass or taking near misses. Up here, I have no idea what’s going on unless Joker relays anything. So be careful.”_

“Check that squid thingy out!” Ashley said with her usual energy, jolting Shepard from her reflection.

Kaidan leaned toward the console to look. “Cool,” he murmured.

As the sensor board lit up with upcoming geth signals, Shepard ordered Ashley to get up on the turret. “Aye, aye, Skipper!”

“Kaidan and I will do what we can on foot,” Shepard said.

She and Kaidan exited the Mako, guns raised and battle stances ready. Shepard exchanged looks with the LT and proceeded to open fire, her omni-tool lit up to disable a large juggernaut running down a set of stairs to the gates blocking their route.

  
  


\-------------------------  
  
  
  


Roughly a half an hour later, the trio had killed maybe a hundred geth, a couple of Colossi, and several rocket drones in their efforts to bring the AA guns down. When the Mako rolled up to the rendezvous point, a beach area, Shepard was mildly surprised to see so many of the STG group still around.

She slid from the vehicle and marched through the clear water up the sandy bank. Garrus was standing nearby, speaking with one of the salarians. When she neared, she heard him say, “Kirrahe, this is Commander Shepard.”

The greenish-colored salarian nodded his head, his large eyes fixed upon her now. “Ah, yes, Commander. I’m Captain Kirrahe with STG.”

“We got the distress call and came to see what was going on,” Shepard said, shaking his hand briefly.

“I fear that is a redundancy, Commander. We needed allies to fight, not investigation. Come, let’s talk,” Kirrahe replied and beckoned, having her follow him into one of three large tent structures. After two salarians who had been standing guard left their posts, he spoke. “Commander, we’ve discovered Saren’s base of operations here on the planet. He has a lab. We were found and, well...what you see of our numbers is all that is left now.”

Shepard grit her teeth together. “I’m sorry, Captain.”

“They died fighting the way they were taught, and I’m proud of them. Others might still be captured there. Regardless, the lab matter is...sensitive.” Kirrahe paused in his discussion, causing Shepard to turn around. All of her squad mates, her crew, her friends, stood outside of the tent.

Suppressing the smile she felt try to come over her face, she sighed. “These are my crew. They deserve to know what they’re up against, Captain.”

Kirrahe’s eyes strayed over the group and stopped on Wrex. “Perhaps that is a bad idea, Commander.”

Wrex crossed his arms. “And just what could make that a bad idea, salarian? What’s Saren hiding...or you?”

Shepard sent him a look, quieting the krogan. She turned back to Kirrahe. “What is Saren doing, Captain?”

“Curing the genophage,” Kirrahe said, his voice barely a whisper. “He needs krogan to fight for his purposes.”

Shepard whirled as Wrex gave a low rumbling snarl. “You mean he’s _curing_ my people and you want us to _destroy it_? To stop him?”

“Wrex, go. We’ll talk,” Shepard commanded, voice stern. When Wrex didn’t budge, she straightened a little more. “That’s an order.”

He huffed and finally walked away to stand by the water, absently firing his shotgun at random aquatic life.

“Is he going to be a problem, Commander?” Kirrahe asked, obviously concerned for his men and the mission.

“I’ll deal with it. Prepare a strategy while I try to hold the peace,” she answered with a sigh, stepping down the structure’s ramp onto sand.

Garrus eyed her. “Shepard.”

“I’ll be fine, Garrus,” she said, unblinking. Then, much softer, as she passed by his side, she added, “If he charges, do what you have to do.”

“Yes, Shepard,” Garrus replied, no hesitancy in his voice.

Shepard made her way over to where the seething krogan stood. “Wrex,” she said, unsure of how to begin.

He took a step toward her. “So Saren is curing the genophage, and you want to destroy it.”

“Wrex, it’s not that simple. Think about this,” Shepard said, keeping her voice calm and her eyes on his form.

He angled his huge head to glance at her suspiciously. “Then help me out here, Shepard. The lines between friend and foe are starting to blur a little for me.”

She swallowed, knowing that the trusting bond they shared had been tested enough in the past that if she didn’t resolve this correctly, Wrex was going to die. He'd fight her, and she'd be forced to kill him if everyone else didn't first. And Shepard didn’t want that to happen if she could avoid it. “Wrex, Saren’s doing this because he’s wanting to manipulate your people, to use them to fight for him, the geth, and the Reapers.”

Wrex yanked his gun up. Shepard pulled her pistol up in the same moments, instinctually. From off behind them they could hear the sounds of other guns being drawn as well; Shepard knew that out of all of them, Garrus’s would have the best aimed shot.  
  
“But it’s a _cure_. Don’t you get it?” Wrex asked, his voice angry and hoarse, but just slightly wavering.

“Don’t you, Wrex? You’ll be puppets!” Shepard tried to insist her point. “What about Saren so far has led you to possibly think that he’ll just give you the cure or trade it for anything? What benevolence has he shown you, the dead people on Eden Prime, Noveria, and Feros, Wrex?”

Wrex didn’t reply. He continued to stare her down.

Finally, Shepard sighed. “Wrex, you’ve gotten to know me, so I’d like to think. You know I do things for the right reasons, that I abhor crimes like genocide. I wouldn’t want to destroy this lab without a very good reason. What have I done, Wrex?”

“More for me than anyone else,” the krogan murmured, startling everyone who was listening. “I told you about how my father betrayed me, about how my men died and I killed him on the sacred ground. And you, Shepard...you’ve never betrayed any of us like that.” Wrex slowly dropped his gun, his large red crest reflecting some light as he looked upward toward the sky of Virmire. “I want to cure my people, Shepard...but the krogan aren’t tools. Not anymore. Once we were the Council’s puppets. I’m not going to let them fall prey to someone like Saren.”

Shepard returned her pistol to its holster and held her hand out. “Thanks, Wrex. And I promise you, if a cure is ever found elsewhere, I’ll do whatever I can to help you.”

The krogan eyed her from the side, the large red orb pinning her to her spot in the sand. “I’ll remember that, Shepard.” He shifted and took her tiny hand in his. “Let’s do this.”

Shepard smiled. “That’s the Wrex I know.”

She turned, happy to see that everyone had holstered their weapons as well. Some of the salarians were talking in clustered groups about the event. Shepard moved to return to Kirrahe’s location, seeing him wave at her to get her attention. As she passed by Garrus again, he reached out to touch her shoulder. “Again. You just continue to impress me. Keep this up, Shepard, and I won’t know what standards to expect.”

“The day I quit let me know,” she teased.

Garrus chuckled a little and let her go on to hear Kirrahe’s plan.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER FORTY: THE CHOICE**

  
  


  
  


_“I am beyond your comprehension. I am Sovereign.”_

_“We are eternal, the pinnacle of evolution and existence. Before us, you are nothing.”_

_“Your extinction is inevitable. We are the end of everything.”_

_“You exist because we allow it, and you will end because we demand it.”_

_“I am the vanguard of your destruction. This exchange is over.”  
_  
Garrus trudged along after Shepard and Wrex as they left the labs. The horror of the truth about Sovereign was still fresh in his thoughts as he unloaded his assault rifle on two geth troopers up ahead.

Saren’s strange ship...was a Reaper. An actual, live Reaper that had been around to slaughter the Protheans before them. And what the ship—Reaper—had said had burned all of them: That Saren hadn't been chasing some idea, hadn't been acting on his own direction. That the Reapers were still alive and using him in their plan to harvest all organic life as they had in previous cycles. They only had to wait for the organics to reach their cyclical apex state. Sovereign said the Protheans had not been the first of those destroyed...nor had they created the Citadel or mass relays the way everyone had been taught. The Reapers themselves had built them.  
  
If anyone hadn't believed Shepard’s word about the beacon from Eden Prime, they had to now.

After Shepard had absorbed more information from another hidden beacon in Saren’s private labs, Sovereign had appeared as a holo, causing Garrus to mistake the Reaper for a VI.

  
And he'd been so wrong, he thought as he ducked into cover behind a wall and watched Wrex hurl a geth over the building’s edge. Whatever the Reaper was wasn't even AI. It was something entirely new to them. Something foreign. Something ancient and abyssal.

They had found the cause of what Matriarch Benezia had described to them concerning Saren’s ability to manipulate her and her followers; it hadn’t been Saren at all, but Sovereign’s own indoctrination effects upon any beings within it. The asari they had dismissed from the lab, Rana, confirmed it in her research, believing Saren to have her study the phenomenon in quiet perhaps in the hope of recovering his own mind. And that meant Saren had to know he himself was indoctrinated _,_ Garrus’s mind argued as they progressed onto another platform. Maybe it would give them a chance to turn the once Spectre back from the brink of madness.  
  
It may have been too late, though, because Kirrahe's plan of blowing the lab sky high was well on its way.

“Commander,” came Kaidan’s voice over their audio. “Joker’s ready to bring the bomb in. I’ll finish getting it prepped. Ash hasn’t checked in for a few minutes.”

Shepard nodded, her hand to her ear. “I’ll try to get a read on her. Meet you at the rendezvous.”

As they watched Joker carefully maneuver the _Normandy_ into position so the crew could carry the modified bomb down to them, Shepard tried to raise Ashley, separated from them to help aid Kirrahe with his team's prior losses. She sighed a little next to Garrus when Ashley replied, stating that she and Kirrahe had lost a lot of men, but were pressing onward.

Kaidan helped carry the bomb to its detonation location. As they sat the large bomb down and the rest of the crew boarded the ship, Kaidan stepped over to them. “Ready to begin prepping, Commander. It will take a few minutes, but I’ll work as fast as I can.”

“I know you’ll make me proud,” Shepard said.

While Wrex gazed over at the bomb, Garrus watched Kaidan. The LT stepped forward and took Shepard’s hands momentarily, his gaze catching the weariness. The two humans’ eyes met for a brief moment before Kaidan leaned forward and pressed his lips to Shepard’s cheek. Garrus froze in shock at the unexpected action. He tried to swallow the bitterness he felt coming up his throat, but he couldn’t keep his subharmonics from sounding his pain; though he wasn’t sure how deep the gesture Kaidan performed went for humans, it was obvious from Shepard’s reaction that it meant something personal...and, knowing Kaidan, loving. Wrex immediately looked to him, but Garrus didn’t say anything.

“Kaidan,” Shepard said, her eyes very large as the LT dropped his hands from hers and stepped back toward the bomb.

Kaidan momentarily turned with his usual smile. “Forgive the insubordination, Commander.”

Garrus watched Shepard swallow as she tried to formulate words. Finally she spoke. “Kaidan, it’s going to be fine. We need to go take some of the geth pressure off of Ashley and Kirrahe’s units. Be careful.”

The LT nodded toward them and bent to start prepping the bomb. Shepard blinked a few times, watching him, before moving on to the next area. Wrex followed her, as did Garrus, but Garrus glanced back to see Kaidan look their way with sad, relieved acceptance.

Within five minutes the trio was firing on geth, dodging rockets from drones, and taking down the occasional krogan still fighting on Saren's behalf. When they were about halfway between Kaidan and Ashley’s positions, a large geth dreadnought flew past them to hover near the bomb. Saren's geth army had come to turn the tide of their growing victory.

“They’re going to stop the bomb!” Shepard shouted, her jaw dropped.

Garrus saw the panic on her face as Kaidan and Ashley’s voices simultaneously sounded in their audio.

“Go back, Commander!” Ashley insisted, gunfire in the background of her comm. “That bomb has to be protected!”

“I’ll make sure they don’t touch this bomb, Shepard,” Kaidan countered.

Shepard paced a little, staring toward Kaidan’s location. “Kaidan....”

“Just go, Commander! Save as many as you can. This bomb will go off. I promise,” he answered, his voice strong as he fired his pistol at geth closing on him, the sound echoing to them. “I need to finish this.”

“Shepard,” Wrex said. He didn’t say anymore. Garrus wasn’t sure the krogan could.

Garrus watched her ball her fists and lean against a rail, shaking. After a very tense pause, she whispered, “I’m sorry, Kaidan. I have to make a choice.”

“No, Commander! Go back!” Ashley practically screamed over the comm. “We know what we signed up for! Protect that bomb!”

Kaidan, on the other hand, in between pistol shots, found time to softly say, “It’s okay, Shepard. Get out of here. I don’t regret anything.”

Garrus felt his emotions drop as it all came crashing down upon him—the very real realization that they were leaving Kaidan to save Ashley and Kirrahe and the remnants of the STG team, that they were _leaving_ Kaidan to _die_ defending the bomb to ensure the destruction of Saren’s base...and that Kaidan was ready and willing to do it, perhaps had been expecting something like this to present itself. That whatever action he’d just done to Shepard had been a preparation in case of any possible goodbyes.

Shepard suddenly began sprinting to their right, toward Ashley’s location.

As she radioed Joker for pickup, Garrus heard crackle come over his private comm channel.

“Take care of her, Garrus. She’s going to need you.”

Garrus shuddered as he ran, hearing Kaidan’s words and shouts as the LT began to fire rapidly over the connection. “I will, Kaidan. I’m sorry.”

“You know,” Kaidan managed to say in a grunt of pain, “I’m not.”

At the LT’s last reply before the connection terminated, Garrus lost his footing.

They rounded further ahead, past an elevator and into a field of battle with Ashley and Kirrahe's men. They all fought hard alongside each other until Shepard ordered the other group to pull back to keep their flank clear; Joker would need the cleared space for a tight, controlled pickup.  
  
Just as Garrus brought his gun up to finish off a geth trooper, he caught a strange smell on the air—turian and yet not, like something metallic. He, Wrex, and Shepard each watched as Saren himself appeared on a hovering disc, gun in hand. Garrus’s eyes widened as he saw the metal parts adorning Saren, more or less desecrating his turian form, his natural body almost replaced one piece at a time.  
  
It was horrifying. And it meant Saren was long past listening to anyone but Sovereign.

“I applaud you, Shepard. My geth were utterly convinced that the salarians were the real threat. An impressive diversion,” Saren muttered with a strange type of appreciation. “Of course, it was all for nothing. I can’t let you disrupt what I have accomplished here. You can’t possibly understand what is really at stake.”

Shepard smarted next to him. “Sovereign and its kind destroyed the Protheans. What else is there to understand?”

“You’ve seen the beacons, Shepard. You, of all people, what's coming. What cannot be stopped.” Garrus growled at Saren’s declaration as the turian grunted, “Don't be foolish. Fighting it does nothing. The Protheans tried and were destroyed. Learn from them.”

Garrus listened as the two Spectres argued back and forth over the Reapers’ immortality, their power, and the best option for organics against them. But Saren wouldn’t listen to anything Shepard said. He was determined to bow, a slave, thinking that would save people.

“Commander, I would rather submit than we all go extinct. Do you not agree?” the rogue Spectre asked. “Can’t you understand? We fall in line now, we spare others. The Reapers are too advanced for us, and they _will_ harvest us no matter what we do.”

Shepard shook her head near Garrus as they stayed behind the cover that they had immediately dashed to hold. “You’re wrong, Saren! Don’t you see how Sovereign is _controlling you_ right now? Bowing won't stop deaths. You said it yourself—they'll harvest us no matter what. So fight it, you idiot! Fight for all the people you claim you want to save!”

Garrus felt his mandibles slacken with hope when he saw the fellow turian actually consider her words for the briefest of moments. But then Saren growled out in pain and shouted for her death, not unlike Benezia had just before dying on Noveria. Shepard recoiled as bullets sailed past her. Wrex opened fire on Saren from across the way, using biotics to get the turian’s attention.

Shepard rolled behind a different container as Saren lifted into the air. Saren tossed biotics back at Wrex, momentarily crippling the krogan. Garrus took the moment to open fire on the traitor, making sure each shot weakened Saren’s shields. Saren turned to let loose upon them, particularly Shepard, showing the “enhancements” that Sovereign had been making in him. The result was Wrex being thrown hard enough for him to not immediately rise and for Garrus to be crushed underneath the very cover he’d been using.

Garrus watched, helplessly stuck on the ground, as Saren landed the disc and strode off of it, aiming for Shepard. She met the challenge, firing her pistol dead on, bullets encountering recovered shielding instead of bodily damage. Garrus saw her throw her gun and deliver a punch to Saren’s jaw that would have had most of his fellow soldiers from Garrus’s time in the Hierarchy’s required military service retelling for years. Then, to Garrus’s terror, Saren grabbed Shepard by the throat and hung her over the ledge, threatening to let go as he squeezed.

 _“NO!” Garrus shouted,_ already writhing and squirming under the heavy crates trapping him. He began to roar in fury until finally freeing himself, and immediately he charged toward Saren, his assault rifle trained on the enemy turian.

Saren had the nerve to laugh at him.

“Should I...let her go?” he asked, jostling a choking Shepard over the edge more.

Garrus felt the anger in him explode. “On the ground in front of me. And then I want your _head_ , traitor.”

A loud shout captured both Saren and Garrus’s attention as Wrex pulled at Saren with biotics, causing Saren to stumble back toward Garrus and let Shepard’s feet drag the ground. Wrex charged toward them; the sight of the blood raging krogan had Saren throwing Shepard away from him and running back to his disc. He lifted it in the air and took off before Wrex could get ahold of it and yank him back down. Wrex fired several shots as Saren laughingly flew off.

Garrus, on the other hand, instantly moved to where Shepard lay gasping. Her face was very red colored, and Garrus could see horrible dark bruising around her throat. He waited a moment until she reached up and gave him her hand. Garrus gently tugged Shepard to her feet as Wrex made his way to their side.

“That coward,” the krogan said with hate.

Shepard swallowed roughly as Garrus checked his visor’s monitors; he relaxed a little when it declared her heart rate decreasing. “Spirits, Shepard,” was all he could say.

“He got away,” she said darkly, her voice gravely from Saren’s abuse.

Garrus reloaded his gun. “We’ll get him. I know you’ll follow him.”

When they caught up to where Ashley and Kirrahe had fallen back, they found a group of six or so salarian STG members left. Quickly, everyone ran up the _Normandy’s_ cargo ramp and braced as the ship began ascent, leaving Kaidan behind to guard the bomb to its end.

As the ship broke from Virmire’s atmosphere, the shudder from the bomb’s detonation was felt in the cargo bay, and the crowd of individuals of different races all bowed their heads and looked to the floor.

Garrus gently put a hand on Shepard's shoulder, hoping to comfort.

For they all stood in universal silence, alien yet grieving alike.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER FORTY-ONE: ATHENA**

  
  


  
  


Shepard gathered the remaining crew members in the comm room, her demeanor very quiet as she stared at the floor. Garrus looked around, noting the visible concern on each face he saw and knew it matched his own. _She was way too quiet,_ he thought, extremely worried about her.

He watched her sit down next to Williams and slowly put a hand on the gunnery chief’s shoulder. Ashley dropped her face into her hands, not making a sound.

“Ash,” Shepard said.

Ashley remained immobile for a few more moments before replying. “Skipper.”

“Ash, it’s not your fault.”

At that, Ashley rose up to stare into Commander Shepard’s face. “But, Commander, you chose me. Because of me, Kaidan was left with the bomb. Because of me being with Kirrahe’s men, he was chosen. Because of me Alenko is _dead_.”

“Ash, no. It is because of _me._ Because of Saren forcing _me_ ,” Shepard said. Garrus marveled at her strength; though on Virmire she had shaken deeply, she now seemed like a giant wall of rock, immovable in voice and expression. Garrus knew it was her position taking over her as she tried to keep morale up. “I made those calls, Ash.”

“But, Skipper, why?” Ashley didn’t try to hide frustrated wetness in her eyes.

“What I saw you do on Eden Prime was why. Kirrahe's men needed someone with the survival skills you have, and whoever prepped the bomb needed to have someone with more technical abilities, like Kaidan. I know I could have easily sent my gunnery chief for a bomb, and my LT for a squad, but you _needed_ to see you could handle it again since Eden Prime...and I trusted Kaidan to do anything he needed to do. I picked choices based on abilities and tactics. And in the end, if there is blame, it is on me. Not you.”

Ashley stared at Shepard before finally nodding and dropping her head some. Silence reigned for a few minutes, during which Garrus’s eyes never left Shepard’s own hung head. Liara spoke up next to Garrus, startling him in the quiet.

“Commander, you encountered the second beacon on Virmire. Let me join minds with you and see if it filled in some gaps of the vision. I might be able to find a clue now with the cipher’s help,” the asari said, her hands gesturing peacefully.

Shepard nodded, moving to stand in the middle of the room as Liara matched her steps. Garrus sat back in his chair, eyes intent on the pair. Like everyone else, he had seen the asari grow a sincere friendship with Shepard, and he hoped Liara wouldn't push too hard the way that asari on Zhu's Hope had, knocking Shepard out cold from the connection. He cocked his head, watching Shepard as she closed her eyes and tensed up at Liara’s mental probing.

Less than a minute later, Liara stepped back and released Shepard. The Commander looked as if she were going to fall for a second, weakened, but she sharply opened her eyes and forced herself to still. Garrus watched her carefully, seeing the tension in every muscle movement as she inquired after Liara’s findings.

Liara explained that the beacon had indeed filled in gaps of the vision, but that it still didn’t have any obvious sign of Saren’s specific destination through the Mu relay.  
“There were all kinds of images, Shepard,” Liara said, holding her head.

Ashley snapped, her face coming up fast to glare at the asari. “So that was for nothing yet again.”

“Enough,” Shepard said, her voice deadly calm and in control. Her eyes shifted. “Think, Liara. Did anything look familiar, was there any place he could be going based on this? What's through the Mu relay?”

Garrus watched the realization dawn on the young archaeologist’s face. “Well...there _is_ one planet with a rumored Prothean archaeological influence through the relay. Ilos.”

“If it’s that easy, why not know that right away?” Ashley asked in a less harsh tone as Shepard flicked a glance toward her.

“Before, Chief Williams, we lacked the cipher to have clarity of the beacon's visions,” Liara tried to explain. “We have that information now, and though we know Saren's looking for this Conduit, we do not know what it looks like, what scale to consider. Because there are tons of places the Mu relay can link you to, it’s almost feels like...randomly picking out of a jar full of guesses.”

“Then why'd you pick this Ilos place?”  
  
“I limited my answer based upon the size of the archaeological find we'd need to house whatever the Conduit would be.”  
  
“You're sure?” Shepard asked, not blinking.  
  
“Ilos _is_ a guess. But it's a very strong one the more I consider it,” the archaeologist explained, growing more certain and confident in her tone. “If I had to point us in a direction with the only chance we've got, I'd say Ilos, Commander. We should find the Mu relay and get to Ilos as fast as possible.”

Shepard nodded. “Joker, plot a course for the Citadel. I’ve got to speak with the Council.”

“Incoming transmission from them, Commander,” Joker replied over the speakers. “Nice timing.”

Everyone moved to leave the room and give her privacy in her reporting. Garrus noticed Liara and Tali linger for a moment, speaking closely together. When they saw him, they motioned for him to come close.  
  
“What is it?” he asked curiously.

“She’s holding back. I’m worried,” Tali murmured, emotion in her voice. “That was a horrible thing for her to have to decide. I hate this.”

Liara nodded in agreement. “I am worried, too. I sensed a lot of pain when I joined with her, much more than what she’s showing to us. I just wish we could do something about it. Ashley, too. Poor Ash.”

“I’ll speak with Ash,” Tali volunteered. “She seems to like me best. Hopefully I’ll be able to reaffirm what Shepard’s told her and keep her from blaming herself.”

Garrus shifted his weight; every nerve in him was pushing him to go back to Shepard. “Maybe I should...uh....”

“Talk to Shepard, Garrus. She needs you right now, even if she doesn’t want people to see her vulnerable,” Liara said, laying a gloved hand on his upper arm over the armor. “She seems very close to you, so we’ve all noticed. Do what you can.”

“I will,” he said, swallowing against some strange pit in his gut.

Garrus watched them leave to head for the lower decks, still listening behind him as Shepard’s voice continued. After several minutes it finally grew quiet. He turned and softly stepped back into the room, his brow plates rising.

Shepard was sitting with her back against the communication console on the floor. Both of her knees were bent up, one leg partially stretched, her hands touching over her right knee. She breathed in, raising her head slowly, then exhaled as she brought her face back down.

“That’s a turian technique,” he murmured aloud, not even surprised anymore at her knowledge.

Her eyes snapped open, a small amount of anger in them. “Yes. It is.”

“How do you know it, if I may ask?”

Shepard didn’t answer, just closed her eyes and continued the meditation. Garrus debated inwardly before setting himself down near her, bringing his own knees up as he sat.  
  
Her eyes cracked open during exhalation. “Garrus, I want to be alone.”

“Shepard, listen. It can’t be easy. I know you’re putting up a brave face for all of us to boost morale at losing Kaidan. But we’re friends, and the Commander Shepard I know wouldn’t feel apathy over losing a friend. Not the same woman I saw barely containing anger at reporters interviewing her about Akuze or the one who tossed me from a Mako because of a maw’s nest,” he ventured, his blue eyes focused on her face. “I knew when I saw that original story footage about Akuze that I would like you.”

She sighed, sensing he wasn’t going to let it go. “I’ll be fine, Garrus.”

“Shepard.” He adjusted, head tilted in interest. He decided to ask. Decided to see how far her trust in him went. “Where _did_ you learn things? I’ve seen you know some body language for greetings. But this technique would had to have been shown to you personally.”

Garrus watched her stretch her legs before bending them again and leaning her forehead against her knees, hiding her face. “Caios.”

“Caios?” The name sounded familiar, and Garrus’s subharmonics hummed low in his thinking.

“Yes. Caios. I’ve mentioned things about him, but not the whole story. He was a turian POW, back with the Contact crap and Shanxi. Mom and Dad saved him from torture and were granted permission to supervise him. They nursed him as best they could and even befriended him. He was there, in my life, until he died from illness combined with his old wound complications when I was eleven years old.” Shepard didn’t raise her face up while she continued speaking. “He grew to mean a lot to my family. I was always curious about him, and half the time it was Caios watching me while my parents dealt with Alliance problems. He taught me all kinds of things, things he thought I would need to know as he figured I’d follow in my parents’ footsteps with a military career. Hell, he was even there for my father’s funeral, letting me hold onto his cowl as I cried.”

The image of a very young Shepard hanging onto the older turian as he held her was touching, but his brain finally caught up, and Garrus jolted when he made the connection. Was she sure she had the right turian? “Caios Terynus. You knew Caios...the General.”

She nodded, as if the information was mundane. To him it was mind blowing. One of the generals Garrus had been raised to dislike, as most turians would, for surrendering to humans and fleeing consequence had practically hand raised Shepard herself. If his jaw were capable of hitting the floor, it would have.  
  
“I knew him in a way most probably never did,” she replied. “The only thing he told me about his previous life was that he had a family somewhere in northern Palaven. I never knew anything beyond that about his life...he'd just say the past was over and that he couldn’t walk back to it anymore.”

And that was a _very_ turian way of saying he was exiled and knew it. Garrus felt responsible, felt like he _had_ to tell her something, but he also didn't want to tarnish the image of the turian she loved so dearly...or of a turian who had clearly grown to be a better person, a turian who had helped make Shepard into the kind of leader she was.  
  
She'd been honest with him before. He felt he should be in return.  
  
“Shepard...Caios Terynus was a high ranking general in the Hierarchy. He was considered traitorous when he surrendered in his fight to the Alliance,” Garrus said, fighting the instinctive urge to dislike the turian based on that fact alone. “There was a huge deal about it on our media. Tons of propaganda about the few like him. Our people were jailed for life if they were recovered or _worse_ for that shit. Terynus lived his life in exile for a damn good reason.”

“Fair. But here's what I know, Garrus—his unit was mostly lost, he wanted to save those he could, and whatever Caios did, he would have had a reason. He never said or did anything without a reason and always told me to do the same,” Shepard argued, her eyes finally rising to view him above her knees. “I won’t let you bash his memory.”

Garrus shook his head in a more human gesture, hoping she would understand his intention. “I’m not trying to, Shepard. I just want you to know.”

She shrugged, and Garrus mildly wondered how prepared Terynus may have been for her discovering such thoughts about him someday. He wondered how the turian general may have prepped her for it. Shepard glanced away. “Whether he became a better person from his crimes or just became more of himself outside of the military influence, I don't know, but I learned to be kind because of _his_ kindness. To be open minded and to appreciate other species and their cultures.”

“That’s good.” He sighed, stuck between understanding his people's anger and Shepard's sympathies. “Look, I’m sure he was a good person or at the least grew to be. Most of us _are_ bound by instinctual military guidance so deeply that outside of such zones we don't often realize how much of that crap defines what we think of ourselves.”

“He mentioned that,” she murmured lowly.

Garrus sat in silence for a few moments before swallowing hard and saying, “Regardless, are...you okay, Shepard? Losing Kaidan...I’m sorry.”

Shepard’s eyes began to grow wet and she forcibly closed them, shoving herself back into the calming technique. Garrus’s visor picked up on her increased heart rate, though his own ears could tell him the same information. But it was the fear and anger in each breath and exhalation, the slight shaking in her movements that betrayed how she was really feeling.  
  
He honestly had no idea of any human reassurance customs beyond the hug she had previously explained, so he went with his instincts: moving forward to wrap a firm arm about her, he held her stiff body until her arms loosened from her legs and slowly moved around his torso, holding him just as tightly. His face pressed to hers, his left mandible rubbing her very soft cheek. It was the only comforting thing he knew to do beyond the sympathetic, soothing subharmonics he was already supplying.

She seemed to understand what his mandible rubbing against her face meant as she briefly pressed back once properly, the gesture honestly kind of adorable with her lack of mandibles. The gentleness of it was so _right_ in a way he hadn't expected from a human, and that feeling in and of itself was also comforting. Satisfying. Safe. _  
_  
Maybe she felt it, too, because she began to cry, soft at first and then louder as she let him hold her, her cheek now to his armored cowl seeming perfectly placed somehow.

“It’s okay, Shepard,” he urged. “It’s just me. Let it out.”

“It’s all my fault,” she finally whimpered.

“Shepard, you were given an impossible choice to make.” Garrus wasn’t about to let her really internalize all that blame. “It’s not your fault. It’s Saren’s.”

“But I left him _to die, Garrus_!”

Garrus grabbed her face in his gloved hands and pulled it up for him to look closely at. “No, Commander. You didn’t. He chose that before you uttered your apology. I was there, right next to you. He said he didn't regret anything.’”

Shepard’s green eyes searched his face, as if for meaning that he didn’t understand. Garrus saw a tear slide down her cheek and trail over his finger. He felt his emotions tearing as he watched it roll. “Commander. I’m so sorry.”

“Athena,” she whispered, closing her eyes in his grip.

“Huh?” Garrus thought his translator might have slipped up when he didn’t understand the word.

“My first name. It’s Athena.”

He stilled. “Shepard, why are you—“

“Because you’re my best friend, Garrus. And you know that by now.” She sighed, dropping her head to let it rest on his shoulder. “I won’t reprimand you for using it in private. Sometimes I need to remember that it’s...okay to not be some larger-than-life person. Everyone expects me to be that all the time. Hell, I’ve come to expect it for myself.”  
  
“I understand. That’s why I wanted to check on you...Athena.” Garrus smiled inwardly to himself; he liked her name. The sound of it suited her, though he wasn’t sure of its meaning. Knowing it at all and being able to use it made him feel even more trusted. Garrus paused in his thoughts when he felt her shudder lightly against him. “You okay? Cold?”

She laughed strangely. “I’ll be fine. Just need to...sit here for awhile.”

“Want some company?” he asked, his voice soft and open.

“Yeah. Stay here.”

Garrus trilled happier, but still grieving subharmonics and sighed, leaning his head back against the console. Shepard cried more against him. “You know what makes it worse, Garrus?”

“What, Athena?”

“He cared for me, but I didn’t feel romantically tied to him at all.” He was barely able to stop Shepard’s hands from hitting her thighs in anger. “He was a hell of a Marine and a damn good person, but I didn't feel that way back and I couldn't let something like that stand in the way of the mission.”

Garrus tilted his head, sighing. He had no idea if he’d ever get a chance or the courage to discuss what he felt with her, but he didn't want her to carry guilt when Kaidan hadn't wanted her to do so—not even in that way. “Athena, there is not a damn thing wrong with you. Kaidan may have been romantically interested in you, but he was also a close friend first.”  
  
“Garrus.”

“You can’t help whom you’re attracted to,” he said, the truth of his words hitting him like a punch to his abdomen. She stilled against his shoulder, causing him to pause. “Athena?”

“I’m fine,” she sniffed, sitting straighter. “You're right. I get that. But that's not what makes me feel like shit.”

“Then explain it to me.” Garrus rubbed a mandible over her head. “He wouldn’t want you to feel like shit either.”

“Garrus, it doesn't feel fair,” she said, trying to explain. Her eyes looked up to meet his in a sideways glance. “I feel like he sacrificed for more than the mission, that maybe he died _with_ those feelings or even _for_ them possibly, and that's unfair.”

Garrus blinked. “Well, if he did, then he did it willingly. Again, no reason to feel guilt.”

“But—”

“No buts,” he retorted, holding a hand up to silence her playfully. “You might have been his commanding officer, but you don't get to take credit for his decisions. You sure didn't when Alenko played a crap hand of cards, and you shouldn't now.”

She laughed a little; the sound stirred something deep down inside of him. “Thanks, Garrus.”

Garrus smiled to himself and shrugged against her. “You know, I think he resented me a little, even if he was still nice about it.”

“Kaidan? Never.”

“Really? C’mon. You always _did_ say I had the handsomest mug on board.”

She smiled broadly, obviously needing the humorous distraction. “Do you think he thought I was being literal?”

Garrus made sad vibrations in his subharmonics, grateful she’d started smiling. “You mean, you were always joking? I’m crushed.”

“Nah.” She clapped him heartily on the shoulder. “Honestly, you really are a good looking turian.”

“And he was a handsome human, I’m assuming?”

“Yeah. He was.” She looked away in thought. “ _Was._ Damn it. Even if I _had_ liked him, Garrus. I don’t know if I would have let that matter over the mission the way he maybe did, and I don't know what sounds worse.”

“Doesn't matter, 'cause that's not what happened. Can't make yourself feel what you don't, Athena, so don't make yourself think about what didn't happen. Now what _I wanna_ know is why I'm giving you lessons on love,” he joked, poking her with his elbow. “I’ve never been in it before.”

She rolled her eyes. “Like I believe that one.”

“No, I mean it. Turians...it's said we mate for life, so, once we find that _one_ , that’s it.” Garrus shifted in his spot, suddenly feeling awkward. “I mean it doesn't happen for all of us. Affairs happen, sometimes people bond for political reasons, there's always diverse outliers, but there _is_ something to the old biological adage of turians mating for life. Many in my clan have been that way.”

“And I’m assuming you’ve not found yours yet.”

He sighed. “Nope, much to my mother’s dismay. I told you right now I’m not much of a catch, despite my father’s best efforts. The last two matches he wanted for me with some Hierarchy officials’ daughters didn’t pan out as he had hoped. The first female would never shut up, and the second didn’t want to bond with anyone.”

“You know, I bet your mother is nice,” Shepard said offhandedly.

“She is. She’d like you. Dad, I don’t think he ever would. A human Spectre? He hates Spectres _and_ dislikes most humans. Takes a lot to earn his respect, a feat I think I’ve yet to even accomplish,” Garrus said with a shake of his head. He hadn’t thought of his family in a while now. “Now Solana, my sister.... I don’t know. She’s always a wild card. Could think you’re interesting or find you strange.”

Shepard smiled at him. “Well, if anything, I think they should be proud of you. I am.”

His mandibles fluttered as he instinctively cooed, a sound she couldn’t hear. “You...are?”

“Of course. You’re impressive with your weapons, you take great care of the Mako after I bang it up, and I trust you with my life. And I know that regardless of how you have been, you’ve changed some. People will look up to you one day, I promise.”

Garrus smiled at her, mandibles lifting up. “Thanks, Athena.”

“Anytime, Garrus.” She rose to her feet, dusting off her legs with her palms as he did the same next to her. Garrus found himself pausing as she stared deeply at him with that searching look once more, the one he just couldn’t interpret. His eyes followed her right hand as it landed on his left upper arm. “Thank you for being there, even if I tried to make you run away.”

“You could never make me do that. We’re friends.”

“Good to know, Garrus. Good to know.”  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER FORTY-TWO: LOCK DOWN**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Shepard sat against her weapons locker outside of the medbay, her face buried in her right hand as her left rested on her knee. She couldn’t believe what Udina and the Council had done without thought: The _Normandy_ was grounded, under lock down. At least Kirrahe and his men were off on the Citadel now.

Because the Council and the human ambassador believed Saren had been partly rendered incapacitated with his lab destroyed, they had ceased her duty of hunting him to the end. Instead they had shifted to a different course of action, deciding their own forces could be used with Saren weakened to finish bringing the rogue in for trial. The full beacon message and the Reaper Sovereign's information hadn't been enough to make them bat an eye, not with the salarian councilor’s condescending words and his infectious disbelief of her report spreading to the rest of the councilors.

It hadn’t mattered that she’d never once lied to them.

She continued to sit in the quiet feeling the anger sizzling inside of her. Shepard was so concentrated trying to figure out a way around the Council bias that she hadn’t heard Garrus’s approach. When his armored legs came into her line of vision, her eyes shot up, startled, to his face. Garrus angled his head, his visor’s screen flashing slightly.

“Garrus?” She wasn’t in the mood to deal with any diversions, endearing as his usually were.

He shifted as he looked down at her. “Shepard, are we really just sitting here?”

“What the hell else does it look like?” she snapped. Immediately she exhaled with regret; her anger was with the Council, not Garrus. “I’m sorry, Garrus. That was uncalled for.”

“A little, but I understand you’re frustrated. Nothing like being forced to stand down on the thing most important to you, huh?” Garrus laughed a little, feeling the irony of their pasts in his statement. “Maybe there’s something we can do in the meantime, though. Anderson said to wait until he had news and meet him, right?”

Shepard eyed him curiously. “Yes. What do you have in mind?”

“Finding a place where we can blow off some steam. Tali and Ashley seem to be pretty stressed out down in cargo,” Garrus admitted, running one gloved hand over the other. “I overheard Liara trying to help.”

“Yeah. We should,” Shepard said, realizing she honestly did need to get off the ship. It was doing her no good sitting on her ass in anger. “We're stuck here. Might as well do something on the Citadel.”

Garrus nodded. “I know deep down we’re all still dealing with losing Kaidan, too. Maybe just not thinking for even an hour will help everyone.”

“Maybe.” Shepard shifted in her position to push herself to her knees and on her feet, but she was stopped by a large turian hand in her face. She glanced upward, saw the movement of his facial plates, and took his hand.

Garrus pulled a little more than he needed to; after all, Shepard was much smaller in comparison. The momentum yanked Shepard to her feet and into his chest, knocking him slightly back a step. She paused, her right hand in his and her left hand on his chest armor, gently holding the swell of the cowl. Wide turian blues were surprised, but intrigued.  
  
Neither moved. Breathed.  
  
Shepard swallowed a little as she felt him leaning toward her and softly closed her eyes. As soon as she felt his mandible rub her cheek affectionately, as he had after Virmire, she let a small sigh escape her. Shepard squeezed his hand, and Garrus gently pressured her fingers between his own, fitting the mismatched digits together perfectly.

Instinctively, she turned to kiss his cheek plating.  
  
And then Joker’s voice rang out over the ship's speakers, loud and jarring above them.  
  
“Hey, Commander, Captain Anderson just sent word that he wants you to check in with him at Flux in about an hour and a half,” the pilot said with all the startling effect of the icy Noveria blizzard they'd navigated the Mako through. “Says he wants to talk.”

Garrus instantly let go, flinching backwards slightly. Her heart raced as they stared at each other in awe, more shocked by how close they had been than from Joker’s intrusion. And despite the excitement coursing through her, Shepard knew her professionalism had slipped and slipped _hard_.  
  
With a shake of her head to right herself, Shepard spoke. “Joker, were you spying?”  
  
“Uh, no, Commander. Figured you weren’t near the cockpit and probably around the mess,” came the reply; it was surprisingly honest. “Why did I miss someth—”  
  
“Nope! Get all of them prepped, Garrus. We’re going to Flux. Maybe a little gambling will chill Tali out, so long as we keep security from noticing her omni-tool upgrades. Ash might like a drink. Liara could be a dancer, hell if I know. Wrex, well, I’m sure he’ll figure something out.”

Garrus dropped his hands to his sides as he looked at her. “I’ll...go get the crew and meet you by the airlock.”

“Thanks.” Shepard watched him walk away from her to the elevator, his head tossing a little as he talked with himself. Worried that she might have crossed a personal line of his, she sighed. “Damn it.”

  
  


\-------------------------

  
  


Twenty minutes later Garrus stood by Wrex as he watched a now giggly Tali and calmer Ashley begin to slowly make progress in dragging Shepard toward Flux’s dance floor. Liara stood off to the side, waiting to catch the Commander if she made a sudden escape. Although her threat of a stasis field earned a huge laugh out of Wrex, Garrus remained silent with his thoughts straying again to that strange moment he and Shepard had had in the mess.

The way she had _looked_ at him...Spirits, he couldn’t get the image out of his head.  
  
Her eyes had softened. Her pheromones had changed. And just before Joker had interrupted, he'd felt _something_ about to happen. Just what it could have been he wasn't sure. But _something_.  
  
Garrus’s mandibles fluttered as he debated what to do. How to feel. What was right or wrong.  
  
All he _knew_ was that she'd smelled right. Desirous. Interested. Just as he had. And yet his turian brain almost couldn't handle it, despite Kaidan's encouragement and knowing of Shepard’s admitted attraction to male turians, because the truth was he _didn’t know_ human behavior well enough. He was afraid to trust himself, unsure of how to trust in the species-wide gap of differences.  
  
Yeah, Shepard dropped her guard more around him, and their friendship was important to her—so much so that she'd gone out of her way after his injury to convey just how much. But her professionalism was _also_ a deep part of who she was and how she coped with all the stress. Garrus didn't want to add to that mountain of weight, and he didn't want to inadvertently put her in a possible situation that she had spoken about fearing with Kaidan. Shepard had to be the Commander. Had to. And he had to respect that in the middle of all his feelings.

“If you two don’t let go, I swear I’ll make you clean the Mako with nothing but your toothbrushes and spit!” Shepard declared, her small human heels digging into the floor. “Damn it, this is mutiny! Mutiny!”

Tali laughed hard behind her helmet and faltered in her grip just slightly. “Come on, Shepard, lighten up. We’ve got an hour.”

“I don’t wanna,” Shepard whined a little, getting desperate as they came close to the dance floor.

“Skipper, you’re looking awfully ridiculous,” Ashley teased, earning herself a sharp look from Shepard. Ashley half-saluted her. “I mean, ma’am, I've seen you face a geth Colossus with less fear.”

And that, Garrus knew, was true.

The statement had an effect on Shepard, too, giving her the strength to shake them off of her and stare at the flashing dance floor as if it were the lava on Therum—dangerous and needing a Mako to boost over. Liara stepped near her, beginning to sway a little. “Come, Shepard. Dance with me.”

“I, uh,” Shepard coughed. “I just don't know how to...dance. That's all.”  
  
Liara moved to grab Shepard, pulling her, Tali, and Ashley together. “Then we'll teach you, Shepard.”

“Just do what we do,” Ashley said, smiling for the first time since Virmire.

Tali jerked her hips a little. “Yeah, Shepard. Like this!”

Shepard palmed her face, sighing. “I’m surrounded.”

Figuring the poor woman needed rescued, Garrus pushed away from the wall he had been leaning against. Wrex sent him a curious, amused look, but Garrus shrugged it off. Shepard had been turned to face Liara and Tali in front of her, leaving her back exposed. A few of the other dancers who had been watching the whole scene now looked up to see him coming close. Garrus took a breath and then, when he got close enough, dropped his hands onto Shepard’s upper arms and began to move her a little, back and forth, forcing her feet to move in a simple shuffle.

Shepard spun, mouth open up at him. “ _Garrus?_ ”

His eyes lit up. He bent lower toward her ear so she could hear him privately. “Come on, Athena. Just move. It's not that hard.”

When he pulled back, he saw the result he had wanted—the challenge light up in her eyes. “Oh it's not, huh? Show me.”

He grinned again and felt Tali and Liara move near him as he began to move to the new music’s beat. Garrus’s feet moved, then his hands and arms as his hips shook in sync with the rhythm. The look of awe on Shepard’s face was worth the rest of the room’s attention on him now. He'd have to thank his sister sometime for forcing him to undergo dance lessons as a birthday gift.

Garrus’s plates rose in surprise as Ashley came closer, dancing next to him. “You’ve got moves, Vakarian.”

“You know it,” he laughed.

Shepard finally shook her head. “Do all turians dance like that?”

“Some. Now are you going to dance or not? I don’t care if you’re awful. If you don’t vent some of that pent up physical frustration, then I’ll have to avoid you in case you decide to whip my ass in ‘friendly’ sparring, Shepard.” She hesitated a moment, during which Garrus pressed his advantage; he reached out and pulled her toward he and the others. “Don’t make me force you, A. A little insubordination might be a good thing. Now _shuffle_ , Commander.”

“They already forced me out here!” Shepard countered, but she laughed and did begin to move her feet awkwardly, her eyes dropping to the floor as her arms stayed loose to her sides.  
  
Cute as it was, she was still wound up.

“Oh, Spirits’ sake, A.,” Garrus said and spun her around. “Tali, go up front.”

As the quarian followed his direction, Garrus grabbed Shepard’s arms and began to move them, trying to get the stubborn Commander to loosen up as Tali danced against Shepard. It took several minutes of dancing and more time getting her to ignore the audience that had gathered nearby, but Shepard eventually gave in to Garrus’s pushing. She started to dance on her own, moving her arms and relaxing in her little shuffle steps.  
  
It made him smile when she leaned back a little against his chest armor in her dancing.  
  
After a short while, Shepard got braver and turned to face him as Liara danced on her right and Ashley on her left. Her green eyes found his blue ones in the mixed lighting. “You know I hate you, right?”

He smirked. “Sure you do.”

“Lots.”  
  
“But hey, now we all know how to do the Shepard Shuffle,” Garrus chuckled then laughed harder from her disguised punch in her arm movement. “Cute, A..”

She paused a second in her dancing and then resumed shuffling some.

Concerned, Garrus angled his head downward to the right. “Hey. What's wrong?”

Shepard glanced up at him. “Listen, Garrus...I just, uh, wanted to apologize.”

Lost, Garrus frowned. “For what? These dance moves? I said they're cute, even if they're totally rhythmless.”

“For earlier. I hadn’t meant to make you uncomfortable. I don’t know what happened, but...I wanted to apologize anyway,” she explained, still shuffling her feet. “I’ve felt pretty off-kilter since Virmire.”

Liara, Tali and Ashley had started dancing together as a group, leaving them space to talk. Garrus stepped a little closer so he could talk lower, as privately as possible in a club like Flux with the loud music and louder patrons. “Athena, I don’t get why you’re apologizing.”  
  
Whatever _might_ have happened hadn't offended him, and he didn't want her thinking it had.  
  
He'd just walked away because...well...Garrus honestly wasn't sure what he might have done if he hadn't.

“I...never mind,” she said, tossing her head and dancing more with her waist.

Like a shot to the gut, he suddenly wondered if her apology wasn't just because she'd thought she'd upset him. Maybe _he_ had made her uncomfortable in those close moments. Fuck. Garrus wasn't sure how to ask, and he was scared to in case she _would_ feel that way just for discussing it.  
  
Garrus started shuffling with her and said with reassurance, “Well, whatever you’re sorry for, don’t be. I’m glad to have your trust, Athena. You have mine.”

She smiled a little, calmer. “Thanks, big guy.”

“Anytime, A.”

Garrus closed his eyes for a brief second, enjoying the rhythm of the music as it hummed through him, and then opened them, stilling at what he saw. A human male had come over and started dancing close to Shepard. She was still facing Garrus, but had apparently noticed the guy and turned to look at him, her cheeks red-colored damn near like her hair. Garrus suppressed the growl coming up his throat and merely took a step forward, inserting himself between the man and Shepard. The human smarted off behind him while Shepard merely eyed him with curiosity.

“Can’t have you off dancing with some human since you’ve danced with a turian, now can we?” he asked, a smirk audible in his voice.

She laughed, shaking her head.

Wrex came over to them to announce Anderson’s arrival, and it was over.  
  
Her laugh was gone, her stance changed, her Commander-self in complete control.  
  
It was as if the dancing Shepard in front of Garrus had never existed.

Shepard strolled past him, asking him to get Liara, Tali, and Ashley off the floor. Garrus obeyed, a little saddened at the loss of her relaxation.

They all listened as Anderson proposed a radical plan to free the _Normandy_ from her lock down chains. He believed he could either try hacking Udina’s computer or take on some of the air traffic controllers inside of C-Sec HQ to lift the system's locks from there.  
  
The music of the room faded far into the background, low thumps Garrus could no longer focus on with the energy of the club somehow sucked far away from them right then and there.

Shepard at once told the Captain to take the less risky of the two choices to his health.  
  
The rest of them agreed, Wrex muttering that sticking it to Udina came with more perks.

“You’ll be a traitor,” Garrus said, thinking aloud. It hit him then, really hit him, how serious everything was—everything they'd been doing, the hunt they'd been on, the information about the fucking Reapers. It was _so_ deadly serious, and Captain Anderson was here willing to face possibly life in prison to _help them_ help everyone else too blind to save their skins.

Anderson looked up at him, as if reading his thoughts. “And I’m okay with that, if being a traitor means doing the _right_ thing and saving the lives of ignorant fools.”

“Then let’s do it,” Shepard agreed. “We’ll high tail it back to the ship and wait for the lock down’s lift.”

“Good. When you do, you had better haul ass, Shepard. Don’t give them a chance, or it won’t be worth anything,” Anderson replied. He reached across the table and shook her hand. “Good luck, Commander. To all of you.”

Shepard rose next to Garrus. “Thanks, Captain. We won’t let you down.”  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER FORTY-THREE: TO ILOS**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Garrus sighed as he finished cleaning his Mantis at the workbench near the Mako. His blue eyes glanced over the weapon; he still hadn’t given it a name, like Shepard had her old gun. He tried to keep his stress level down, knowing what the tense anxiety would do to his system. Garrus didn’t figure Shepard would be okay if he and Wrex went another round, even if it _was_ for stress relief.

They were going to Ilos.

Thanks to Anderson’s intervening hit to Udina's face and subsequent hacking of the ambassador's security clearance, Joker had been able to get the _Normandy_ out of the Citadel’s docks before C-Sec had a chance to stop them.

Now they were only hours out from the Mu relay.

Behind him he could hear Ashley and Tali chatting away, an activity they had started increasing since Virmire. Wrex was snoozing loudly, catching some rest before the big fight.

And Garrus, well, he debated cleaning the Mantis yet again. Finding he lacked the focus to give the gun proper attention, he left his station and rode the elevator up to the mess. Garrus glanced briefly to where Kaidan would be working, his station dishearteningly quiet.

From there his eyes wandered to Shepard’s door.

Was she thinking about Kaidan? About possibly losing everyone?

Feeling unsure but concerned, Garrus walked past a few of the human crew members from the CIC as they ate, and he knocked at Shepard’s quarters. When the door opened, he stepped inside, relieved as it closed behind him and took the curious stares off his back. Shepard was sitting at her desk, feet across on the bed, with what appeared to be paper in her lap.

She brought her head up, the red of her fringe catching in the holo screen’s light behind her. “Everything okay, Garrus?”

He shifted his weight. “Yeah. Just wanted to ask you the same.”

“Ilos, I know. Part of me can’t believe how close we are to bringing Saren down. I just hope we can do something to stop the Reapers. Saren’s just a puppet for Sovereign,” Shepard said, her face wrinkling up at the Reaper’s name. She put the pencil in her hand down and eyed him. “You seem edgy, Garrus.”

He laughed lightly. “Stress. Turians endure stress differently than humans do—or at least on a much more extreme scale. We can’t channel the hormones in as many ways as you can, and even if the stimuli are gone, the stress response is still there.”

“Care to elaborate?”

Garrus felt a little nervous now. “Well, the two ‘f’s.' Fight or...well you _know_. Since I was betting you wouldn’t want me to spar with Wrex again in case one of us got primal, I tried just cleaning my Mantis, but after the second time I didn’t think I had it in me for a third go.”

As his words echoed in the room, he realized how bad they sounded. “I don’t know how that became a horrible unintended metaphor. I’m sorry. I was being literal.”

She paused, saying nothing but seeming amused.

Garrus heard her heart rate increase, and it took him a second to imagine why. “I, uh, I’m not here about the other ‘f’ if that’s your concern. I’m just...wanting some quiet conversation, I guess, with my friend the human Spectre.”

She smiled from her chair. “That I can do.”

He titled his head, curious as to what she had been doing before he entered. Shepard seemed to understand his meaning and looked down at the paper. She gestured for him to come forward. Garrus obeyed, bending his face when he grew close enough to her. There, on the paper, were several anatomical sketches of male turians. Shepard had to have done research to know the right shape of the cowl, where most of the chest carapace and shoulder plating sat, how the ridge of the chest trailed and evened out, and the detail in the leg and hip spurs.  
Garrus coughed a bit when he caught sight of a random sketch of an aroused turian penis. He had to remind himself that if it weren’t aroused it wouldn’t be visible to be drawn, not with turians having internal parts. Quickly, he moved his eyes back over to less graphic musings, secretly impressed at Shepard's skill at even capturing _that_ well.

“Wow,” he finally said, amazed at the realism and talent evident in the drawings.

Shepard shrugged next to him. “Hobby of mine.”

“Sketching male turians?”

“Sketching. Turians just happen to be drawn the most,” she replied. “Don’t have a lot of female turian sketches. References aren’t as easy to find without me daring to sift through turian porn.”

Garrus asked the question that began to bother him, particularly because of the genitalia sketch. “Did you have a nude model for these?”

It was Shepard who coughed this time. “Uh, no. I wouldn’t have minded having one, but I just browsed the extranet for anatomy studies.”

“Ah,” he said, hiding his relief in his subharmonics.

Her hands moved to flip to the next page of paper in the pad; this one was a full, detailed face portrait of a turian. The markings on his face were dark on the paper, and to Garrus’s knowledge it placed the turian somewhere north of his own home. Though Garrus wasn’t an artist or knew anything about art, he could sense the emotion Shepard had put into this particular drawing—it was there, in each line of the faceplates and in the turian’s eyes.

He hummed softly. “That’s him, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Caios.” Shepard laughed a little, but Garrus could hear the sadness in the sound, like her own version of his subharmonics. “Wish I could ask him questions. Wish I could just be near him. He was a very comforting presence.”

“I think he’d be proud of your talent,” Garrus murmured, letting her take the reins of the conversation.

“Yeah, he would.”

“And, judging by how you’ve talked about him, I bet he’d love that you’re the first human Spectre.”

She smiled down at the portrait. “I miss him, the stubborn old bastard.”  
  
“I'd imagine.”

Shepard turned to look up briefly at Garrus, her green eyes appearing wetter than usual to him. “You remember I told you that he was there when my dad died?”

“Yes,” he answered.

She sighed. “Mom was in meetings when it happened. She contacted Caios when she found out. See, Mom was working on the _Orion_ at the time, which is a military ship but non-combatant, so Caios had been allowed special permission to stay with my family in our quarters. I’ll never forget sitting on our couch, watching programs, and seeing him come from his room to stand in front of me. The look on his face...I knew something was very wrong.”

“You could tell that?” Garrus asked, genuinely surprised. Most humans he had encountered through C-Sec couldn’t have told one of his facial expressions from another.

“Yes. After being around him most of my childhood, I learned to understand many of his expressions,” she explained. Shepard ran a hand through her fringe before she continued. “Anyway, he bent to his knees and got close to my face. He told me about the batarian attack and how my father had been killed in the victory against the slavers.”

Garrus’s subharmonics sounded with empathy that Shepard couldn’t hear. So she could see his sympathy, he moved to sit on the edge of her stiff bed. “I’m sorry, Athena.”

He smiled a little when she seemed to lift at her name. “To make a long story short, I lost it. I couldn’t believe my father had died. We had been so close, given everything in my life. Caios let me hang on him and cry before he sat next to me and cradled me. He rubbed his mandibles over my head and against my cheek as I sobbed into his chest. That’s why I didn’t freak out when you did something similar after Virmire, Garrus. I understood—it was something he'd done frequently throughout my life then.”

“I’m glad, Athena. I was a little worried about it,” he admitted. Garrus shifted to lean forward, resting his palms on his knees.

“No need to worry. It’s how you comfort, right?”

“Yes. It’s the personal gesture used between family and bond mates,” he specified.

“So I’m like family, huh,” she said quietly, her eyes trailing back to the sketch in front of her. Garrus immediately realized where her thoughts had gone, but before he could even think of what to say, Shepard suddenly grinned down at the sketch of Caios in her lap. “He used to call me _narika_.”

“Daughter.” Her human accent changed the pronunciation of the word some, making her miss the click at the beginning of the first syllable, but Garrus still understood.

“I figured that’s what it had meant, but I never asked. I knew he had had a son in his family back on Palaven,” Shepard said. She wriggled in her seat for a more comfortable position. “The only thing he mentioned about his son was that he figured the boy to have grown into an adult during his disappearance in the war.”

Garrus watched her as she eyed the sketch, memories obviously capturing her attention for several moments. His grip on his knees tightened a little as he took a long breath and exhaled. “Athena, it is obvious how important Caios was to you. Would his approval have mattered about a lot of things in your life?”  
  
It was surprising to him to see that such a close, openly respected and caring relationship had existed between members of the same two races that had tried to slaughter each other at that time. And it spurred him to consider his own relationship with Shepard, as well as those of Tali, Liara, and especially Wrex. It gave him hope for the future. That maybe they really could all be one galactic interactive group.

“To a degree, probably. He became my surrogate parent when my own parents were busy with Alliance missions or work. After Dad died Caios _was_ my father for a few more years before he passed from illness.” She closed her eyes. “That was...very hard.”

“I can imagine,” Garrus said. He leaned forward a little more. “Do you think he’d approve of me, the hotheaded C-Sec officer?”

She looked up at him with a half-grin. “I think he’d like that you challenge things. He always pushed me to do the same.”

“And that I’m here, on your six?”

“Of course.”

“That I’m...your friend?” He kept his voice even as he asked.

Shepard tilted her face as she looked at him. “Yes, Garrus. He would have liked you and been glad you’re here.”

Garrus leaned back, relieved at the answer. “Good.”

“Does that matter to you?” she asked, her brows moving in an expression that Garrus was unfamiliar with in human body language.

“A little,” he said, his voice plain. “I know my own father and I don’t get along much, but it’s nice to...have had approval from someone you respect since I respect _you_ so much. Not sure I respect anyone more than you, Athena.”

“Thanks, Garrus. That means a lot,” she replied quietly.

He gave her a turian smile. “Anytime, Shepard.”  
  
Garrus rose, feeling much more relaxed now that he had spoken with her. His nerves were now at least controllable, with the stress hormones not quite to the level of needing release.

“Leaving?”

Garrus paused in his light stretching. “Figured you’d want some privacy.”

“Stay. I want to do something.”

His visor picked up on his own increased heartbeat, the sound of which thundered in his hearing. “And that is?”

“Sit,” she said, leaning back in her chair.

Garrus eyed her a moment before complying. Shepard then leaned forward and lightly pressed the tips of her fingers to his face, angling his head a little. Garrus found himself closing his eyes at the soft, airy touch as her fingers dusted over his facial plates, adjusting his position. It was then that he recalled each moment she’d touched his face and admitted how much the physical contact affected him. Garrus reopened his eyes to find her green ones very close and staring. While his stress hormones had leveled, others had spiked at that moment, and he tried not to gulp.

As she let go, Shepard smiled. “Now, don’t move.”

“Athena, what are you—” Garrus stopped speaking when he caught her flipping for a blank page of paper. “You want to draw me?”

“Yeah. It’d be wrong of me to let you get away with out a sketch,” she teased. She sat back and angled the pad on her lap toward her. “Besides, you’re my first actual model. I drew Caios from memory.”

Garrus sat very still, his eyes trained on her. He felt a little awkward as she continued to watch him and then bow her head every few seconds. So he let his eyes wander and follow her hand movements as she traced shapes he couldn’t see on the paper.

While he enjoyed the silence and the scratching sound of the pencil she used, he still couldn’t help but want to talk with her. “My mother loves art, you know. I bet she’d love to see your work.”

“Really?” she asked, not looking at him.

“Yeah, I doubt she’s seen any human artwork in person,” he said, trying not to move the position of his head. “Actually, turian art off of Palaven is very rare to see. Back home, though, there are some famous areas we can visit. When I was young, Mom would take me to her favorite place. At first I never cared, and Solana came along after she was born, too, so little fights always broke out. But I’ll never forget one artwork.”

“What was it?”

He exhaled. “A sculpture.”

“Of?”

“It was dated after the Relay 314 Incident. Not everyone back home wanted to be friendly with humans, though there was of course mutual understanding as to the reasons both sides had started fighting. I mean humans had never seen any other alien life before. I could only imagine,” he said, pausing to reflect a little. “So when this popular artist on Palaven released his statue to Mom’s favorite gallery, a controversy erupted.”

“Had a human in it, huh? I’m presuming one that wasn’t decapitated or dead in a defeated manner.” Shepard’s mouth was tweaked to the side, parts of her flat human teeth visible over her lower lip as she concentrated.

Garrus tried not to nod. “It was a barefaced turian soldier bending to help a human woman. There was a lot of emotion caught in that sculpture, especially between the two figures’ faces and the way the turian’s talons had been gently formed to touch the human’s hand and jaw. So, everyone went crazy. Claimed he was a traitor, thought he was taking sympathizing for humans too far. He never tried to explain or justify the artwork to the public, but he did take it back to his private home after it was on display for just a few weeks. I was lucky to have seen it at all.”

“Did you ever find out the backstory?”

“Yes, actually, or rather Mom did. I asked her about it once the statue was removed. She said that the artist had been fighting in the war, and that there had been rumors of him saving the life of a human woman who had been caught in between the fighting near a colony site. Apparently one of my dad’s friends in the Hierarchy had been present during that particular fight and had witnessed the whole thing. Said the human had ended up dying from gun wounds in the artist’s arms, and that the artist hadn’t really spoken much since the event.”

There was silence for several moments; Shepard’s hand had stopped moving the pencil around. Her eyes traveled up the paper and caught his. “That’s very sad. He realized that she was helpless and not some enemy at a time when all orders contradicted what his heart told him.”

“Basically. And then he came home and was shamed for trying to grieve, more or less.”

She sighed, disappointed. “And that is the one aspect about turians that bothers me. The discipline that comes from the culture is nice, honestly, but I wonder if it goes too far.”

“A good turian always follows a bad order, Shepard,” Garrus said quietly. “That’s why I was never a good turian, especially in C-Sec.”

“And I’m glad, Garrus. I hope you’re finding a balance between it all.” Her words uplifted him some, made him feel some pride and understanding in what had always been a fault of his. Because with her help over the past several months, Garrus _had_ started to see how he could temper his hotheadedness _and_ use it, use his rebelliousness to his advantage.

The pencil resumed its scratching and Garrus let the conversation shift once again to comfortable silence for several minutes. Finally, Shepard nodded at him. “All right, you can move. I’m going to finish some shading that I’ve mapped out for myself. Figured you’re stiff by now.”

Garrus relaxed his head, feeling the tension in his neck. “A bit.”

He leaned back on his hands behind him, feeling the calm before the upcoming storm of Ilos.  
  
Joker reminded them over the audio that the ship was currently an hour ETA from the Mu relay.

“I’m almost done,” Shepard murmured in response.

Garrus watched her finish sketching, catching some indecipherable emotion in her gaze down at his portrait. When she put her pencil down behind her, he sat forward again. Shepard handed him the pad of paper, which he carefully took so his talons wouldn’t puncture anything. “Be careful, graphite smudges easily, so you don’t want to touch the actual drawing.”

He nodded as he looked down. The likeness staring at him was remarkable. “Wow, Athena. That’s...what’s the human word? Uncanny?”

“Yes.”

“It’s uncanny...like a photo. You even drew my visor,” he almost whispered, his fingers itching to trace over the headpiece in the drawing. Just like the sketch of Caios, the drawing of him was laced with emotion that Garrus could sense in the pencil lines. Strength in his jawline, passion in his eyes, and tenderness at the placement of his faceplates, his mandibles.

She laughed a little. “Wouldn’t be you without it at this point.”

“True.” Garrus grinned to himself. He rose up, sensing that she was ready to be alone to prep herself for the upcoming battle, just as he would. As he neared her door, he paused. “Listen, Shepard. We’re going to beat him. I know that. No one will question this now because you’re going to lead us to victory. I believe in that.”

“Thanks, Garrus. I’ll be proud to be victorious with all of you.”  
  
Garrus exited her quarters, shoulders squared and prepared for what may come.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR: ILOS**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“Shepard, we’re getting close,” Joker said as she joined him in the cockpit.

The rest of the squad quickly arrived, except Wrex who was finishing a mod on his shotgun. Ashley paced directly behind them. Garrus leaned against a wall next to Shepard and Pressley. Tali and Liara stood to Joker’s right, both visibly tense in body language.

Shepard shifted. “Will they know we’re here?”

“Shouldn’t. Stealth systems are engaged,” Joker replied.

“Good.”

Pressley sighed next to her. “We have a different problem, Commander.”

“And that is?” she asked, nerves strung.

The navigator leaned over his own screens, shaking his head. “The only patch of land close enough is roughly 20 meters. Fifty's the minimum for a safe drop. We’ll have to drop it back even farther away.”

“We can’t,” Tali argued. “There isn’t time.”

Liara nodded in agreement.

Ashley, however, began to pace, her hands tight to her sides. “And that drop could kill us, Tali. It’s unsafe.”

Shepard listened as the rest of them began to chime in and argue. Her eyes strayed over to where Joker’s hands were flying over his consoles. “Joker?”

“I can do it,” he said quietly.

“No, there’s no way!” Ashley retorted.

Joker bristled. “I _can_ do it!”

“You’re absolutely sure, Joker?” Liara asked nervously.

Garrus shrugged and turned to Shepard. “He’s pulled some miracle moves so far. Wouldn’t be a surprise if he could.”

“Do it,” Shepard ordered. At the stunned looks of Ashley and Pressley, she stood firm. “Garrus, get Wrex. I want you two suited up and in the Mako in the next few minutes.”

“On it, Shepard.”

  
  


\-------------------------

  
  


_God, if you’re really there, please make this one happen_ , Shepard prayed as the Mako dropped from the ship’s cargo bay. She immediately engaged the thrusters in preparation for the fast upcoming impact with the ground. Directly in front of them was a large Prothean ruins site.

Shepard had only one thought in her awe—that Liara was going to _kill_ her for not being there.

“Brace yourselves!” she shouted over the din.  
  
The Mako bounced hard as it landed and rolled, quickly arriving at a large open doorway.

Shepard could make out different geth and armatures moving inside of the ruined building. And just before the doors slammed shut and the brakes stopped the vehicle, Saren’s face appeared with a clear smirk.

“Damn him!” Shepard cursed several times as they made to exit the vehicle.

Once she slid out after Garrus, he coughed. “Looks like we’ll have to find a way to overrun the system and get that door open.”

“Has to be a security console around here somewhere,” Wrex replied.

Shepard nodded. They quickly moved in their typical triangular formation and were met with lots of geth that had been left out as defense. It cost them several pricey minutes, but as a team they were able to kill the synthetics and navigate their way around the strange ruins.  
  
Several statues adorned the area; Shepard couldn’t help but wonder if the carved beings had been Prothean or something else. Ilos was very green and lush, too, surprising Shepard by its prettiness. Has she not been so pressed for time, she would have enjoyed exploring it with Liara.

Finally they found the area they needed to find. It, too, was loaded with geth troopers and destroyers. Wrex easily matched the force from the charging destroyer as Garrus took out some troopers, and Shepard sniped and overloaded rocket troopers at a distance. They made their way up a set of stairs to discover a worn out security console. Shepard was able to understand part of the recorded warning message, thanks to the Prothean cipher, but it didn’t help matters. Garrus saw the security screen and hacked through the lock back on the door Saren had blocked. The trio headed back down the stair ramp and took a path that ventured straight below the console above.

“An elevator,” Shepard sighed in relief as they ran inside.  
  
The old elevator creaked up another floor and brought them out relatively close to the Mako’s location. Now able to travel inside the ruins themselves, they reentered the vehicle and set out.

“Expect traps,” Wrex said.

Shepard nodded. “Get up on the turret. Garrus, you handle rockets. I’ll drive.”

The Mako went forward and crushed a geth trooper, one of many that was left behind to slow them down. Wrex let loose on the turret, aiming as well as he could and hitting more marks as the Mako tipped downward and followed an older river bed. Rocket troopers popped out of some jungle cover ahead of them and fired up, scoring one direct hit to the Mako’s shielding and bringing it down dramatically.

“Shit,” Shepard swore and swerved as much as she dared to avoid another hit.  
  
The tightness of the corridor made by the Protheans meant she had little wiggle room to avoid hits without flipping, toppling, or rolling all the way down. The space above them was also limited, ensuring no hopping.

Another rocket blasted them as Wrex peppered with the turret, and Garrus sent one of their own rockets to take out a hidden pocket of troopers below. Shepard felt sweat bead down her forehead and cheek as she deftly maneuvered the vehicle around a few tight corners.

Suddenly the restraining top of the corridor gave way to a very tall, vertically open area in front of them. The path widened just barely. Despite the need to catch Saren, Shepard’s hand slipped on the controls and the vehicle slowed some.

She was simply _awed_.  
  
“Liara is going to murder me,” she said and caught Garrus laughing in agreement.

The walls around them were lined with pods of some type, each sticking so far out. Shepard eyeballed them, wondering if they were what she thought.

Garrus hummed when she asked. “Cryostasis, maybe?”

“Holy shit, Garrus. Do you think?” Shepard’s mouth went dry. If there were live Protheans all around them, they had to know. They had to free them, give them guns. Take as many with them as possible.

Garrus shook his head. “Mako’s readings report no power in them. I’m sorry, Commander.”

Shepard blinked away a strange tear at the realization and nodded. The pods were tens of thousands of years old. Maybe they just couldn’t survive the aging.

Wrex shouted above them. Shepard turned her attention straight ahead and frowned. There was a giant blue barrier blocking them from exiting this corridor and progressing down the path toward more troopers and Saren. “Did Saren...?” she asked, needing someone else’s opinion.

“Maybe. I don’t know, Shepard, I’m getting a weird feeling,” Garrus answered.

Wrex carefully climbed down the turret. “There’s an opening to our right. I think an elevator.”

“We need to find a way to bring the barrier down. Let’s go,” Shepard ordered and followed both aliens out of the vehicle.

She eyed the giant barrier as they passed it and went into the mere crack in the long wall. As the ancient elevator closed in front of them, she closed her eyes.

Something about these ruins was different—affected her in ways Eden Prime hadn’t, nor Therum or Feros. Maybe it was those pods and all those lost souls so close, yet so far away. She just couldn’t say.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE: VIGIL**

  
  


  
  


“You are not Prothean, but you are not machine either. This eventuality was one of many that was anticipated. This is why we sent our warnings through the beacons.”

The synthetic VI voice greeted Garrus’s hearing as he stepped closer to Shepard’s side, all of their faces enraptured by the golden, flickering light before them. They were not tainted with indoctrination, it said...not like the other being that had come through to reach the Conduit.

A holo was active in front of them. Talking.

An _actual_ Prothean VI holo was still working and telling them more than they could imagine.  
  
It called itself Vigil.  
  
Vigil had, through picking up their comm channel feeds, internalized their languages and was able to speak to all of them at once so each could understand. The technological feat of its existence was astounding.

“Why did you bring us here?” Shepard asked, a dark brow rising up her face.

“To break the constant cycle threatening life for millions of years,” Vigil answered, flickering still. “But you must listen. You must understand, or you are doomed to repeat our mistakes.”

And so the holo launched into an explanation of their galaxy, of parts of their reality that forever changed the three individuals, just as the same trio listening to Sovereign had left them all scarred. Garrus swallowed hard. Right now he knew more about the past, about the _present_ than any other turian alive. It was almost too much to take.

Shepard seemed as dazed by the holo as she asked it more questions. It described to her the Reapers—their cycles, their need to harvest organics, how they survived in dark space, anything the Protheans had theorized or surmised about the enemy. Sovereign was merely a flagship, that Vigil knew confidently, and the Reaper was trying to use the Conduit to get itself and the geth troops into the Citadel to signal the rest of the Reaper fleet for full galaxy wide invasion.

“The Citadel is the center of your civilization and the seat of your governing, as it was with each cycle before. And it is so because it is a lie, a trap,” Vigil said, his synthesized voice not fluctuating much with the giant revelation it told.  
  
The Reapers themselves had constructed the objects as lures to make the organics craft their technology along the paths the Reapers desired. And so the cycles found the same seat of galactic government. The same paths of transportation. The same growth of technology.

Garrus had remembered Sovereign’s words about the Citadel and mass relays being constructed by the Reapers, but it had not really sunk into Garrus’s brain just what the Citadel was _truly_ made to do. What _any_ of the relays had been meant to do. In that thought, he realized that besides what Sovereign had claimed, everything he had ever known, been told, and fought to protect in his fucking job was a lie.  
  
Suddenly he felt scared to ever go there again, to remember that he _lived_ there, on that Reaper-made station, their Citadel serving the Reapers as a giant mass relay that would link to dark space and so would link to the Reapers themselves.

At Vigil’s explanation of why the Citadel was never suspected before, Shepard shook her head and spoke, “The Reapers are good at covering their tracks. They even built the relays, ensuring we’d all find that station.”

It seemed hard for her to swallow still, too, and Garrus understood.

Wrex huffed as Vigil kept talking, kept explaining, like the krogan didn’t—or couldn’t—believe a word it said.  
  
Garrus just kept listening, his heart pounding.

It almost pained him when he heard the hesitancy in her voice as Shepard asked Vigil about the pods. “Are they all gone?” she wondered.

“Those here were to come into the next cycle, to regrow and prepare,” Vigil began, his unusual holo floating and twirling inside itself. “By great chance, records were destroyed about this facility and protected the scientists long enough to enter stasis. However, time broke expectations of contingent planning, and power was triaged to prevent entire loss."

Shepard sighed resignedly as he continued his explanation, though she took a moment to angrily state she didn’t approve of the triage of power without those inside the shutdown pods knowing. She rubbed her eyes. “Only twelve Protheans survived? Only twelve of them woke to find the rest dead in those pods, and civilization cut off as they knew it? I.... I couldn’t imagine.”

“How could anyone?” Garrus muttered, shocked as well.

The twelve scientists had been able to use the Conduit here to travel swiftly to the Citadel and interfere with a programmed signal that made the keepers change the station into an active mass relay. The keepers themselves were there for the Reapers' purpose. Even Wrex’s eyes popped at that one.  
  
Every species’ reliance on the keepers to maintain the Citadel in their mysterious ways would ensure the secret was kept, Vigil had said, and the VI wasn't fucking wrong. The thought struck Garrus particularly painfully because he damn well remembered when he had tried to run Chorban in for doing the scans on the creatures. Thank Spirits Shepard had stopped him from arresting the salarian; her words then weighed even _more_ heavy knowing what they did now.

Before they left, completely mystified in the worst culture and reality shocks possible, Vigil had given Shepard a digital data file that would grant her temporary control of the Citadel to stop the invasion, just as those twelve scientists had had. And so they stepped into the elevator, unable to speak to one another.

Garrus walked behind Shepard and Wrex to head back to the Mako. He couldn’t believe all he had just heard, and he figured they couldn’t either. Garrus thought about how Vigil had also been able to tell them that Saren had not yet used the Conduit, though he was getting close to it; that meant they didn’t have much time before the Conduit would become inactive and strand them on Ilos.

Back in the Mako and quickly moving forward, Shepard had to make a very dangerous left turn down an embankment without flipping and crushing the vehicle with them inside. Everyone held their breath until they safely bounced, landing fine. Wrex eased up to use the turret, and together they removed a few more pockets of geth left behind as they followed a twisting, serpentine path.

At the top of another hill, Shepard paused. Down below them the riverbed tightened, made a few sharp, immediate wriggles, and was covered by four giant Colossi. Garrus’s eyes forced themselves past the geth machines on the screen to what was behind them, revolving and moving, the blue light familiar. The Conduit—a damned relay, one so small it could hide here on a planet underground.

“Everyone, say whatever you have to so you can make your peace.” Shepard closed her eyes for the briefest of moments next to Garrus, and then she was back in action starting the Mako forward down the slope ahead. She barked orders to Joker through her comm. “Head back to the relay! I need you at the Citadel immediately! That’s an order.”

“But, Commander!”

“We’ll _be_ there, Joker!”

“Shepard, the window’s closing!” Garrus shouted.

Spirits, if you're there, get us to the Conduit, he pleaded. Get us there. Please, just get us—

Wrex opened mild fire from the turret as they took bad shock blasts from both sides. The front Colossi returned turret fire as the Mako passed them. This let the back Colossi bring the Mako’s shielding down more with energy shots. Garrus panicked as alarms began blaring and the internal software registered parts starting to catch flame. The Mako, the damn vehicle he'd taken such a shining to with all his work, was burning around them.

“Wrex! Too many Colossi out there! Just get down!” Shepard screamed over the pitching of the vehicle and the loud warning sounds, as they grew closer and closer to that revolving, blue light.  
Garrus barely had time to look behind him to confirm that the krogan had made it inside.

He watched Shepard slammed her palm on the screen in front of her, pushing the vehicle to move as fast as possible. Blasts from the geth armatures were on the verge of blowing them apart, but she pushed on, hoping and loudly begging to whatever would listen to her thoughts that they would make it to the Conduit.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER FORTY-SIX: BATTLE OF THE CITADEL**

  
  


  
  
  
  
  


They made it.

Shepard’s shout of fear and shock was easily overridden by the large, excited bellow of Wrex behind her.

Within seconds the Mako had been sent like a bullet from the Conduit and then erupted upon the Presidium after being channeled via the once-thought relay “monument.” As the vehicle crashed upside down, it scraped along past a flickering Avina and unconcerned keeper.

“Ugh, God,” Shepard groaned as she tried to account for all of her body parts. Medigel had opened in her suit, wasting the resource but easing some of her bruising and already helping what she knew was at least one bruised rib. “Garrus, how’s that mug of yours?”

She glanced to Garrus next to her side: He was splayed out against the roof with her. After a moment of shoving him, he came to consciousness; the sound of the long pieces of his fringe scraping against seats now above them made them both wince. “Fine...I think. Spirits, Shepard, from now on I’m always driving,” he finally ground out.

“Don’t be such pyjaks,” Wrex chuckled and kicked open the hatch near his legs. “That was fun.”

“Fun, he says,” Garrus replied as he crawled forward after Wrex’s now exiting form. “Remind me to go round two with him later, Shepard.”

Shepard couldn’t stop the snort from escaping her.

Once Garrus crawled out, he turned on his knees and reached to pull her out. Shepard sighed, feeling better once she was on her feet. Just as she was about to approach Avina’s flickering terminal, Wrex pumped his shotgun. “Husks!”

“Damn it,” Shepard muttered. It meant the geth at least were already here. Saren had to have already made it. She ordered Wrex and Garrus to dispense with the husks and two geth soldiers that appeared while she tried to check comm connections with the _Normandy_. At least for that second, it was static, and that meant they were alone. Shepard walked past the synthetic bodies and towards the elevator nearby. “We have to get up there. We’ve got to get to the Tower and upload Vigil’s file. That’s our priority, gentlemen. I expect no less.”

“You got it, Shepard,” Wrex grunted next to her as the elevator began its ascent.

They rode it up until it suddenly stopped. Garrus quickly scanned through his omni-tool and found it to be hacked through the Citadel’s controls. Any other systems likely would be as well now—anything to give Saren and the geth the advantage. And that meant lots of endangered civilians and C-Sec personnel.

Shepard scowled. “Saren's locked the elevator! That son of a bitch.” The others followed her gaze out to where Sovereign was moving into the Citadel Tower. She thought quickly and yanked her helmet on. “Suit up. We’re going outside.”

Wrex eyed her as he and Garrus followed her lead. The pistol blast shattered the outer glass wall of the elevator, and with the vacuum of space, the pieces merely floated around. Shepard took a step out and felt the magnetized edgings in her boots take hold of the external wall.

“This will certainly be a view of the Citadel I’ve never seen,” Garrus murmured as he landed after her.

“Push on. We’ll find a hatch somewhere and get back inside!”

Shepard surged ahead, walking up the outside of the long elevator shaft to the Citadel Tower. Wrex and Garrus kept a good pace behind her, their guns never going down for a moment—and with good reason. As they passed by another part of the shaft, an elevator flew up, stopped, and glass shattered as a group of geth erupted from the hole.

Shepard managed to overload a rocket trooper; this close those bastards were more than deadly. Wrex pumped his gun into one trooper and flung his biotics at another. For one strange moment, Shepard had to fight back the laugh in her helmet comm as they watched the trooper struggling in the zero gravity floating away from its gun.

They finished off the remaining geth from the elevator and pushed forward, around a turn to the right to continue up. More geth had set up here with shielding already in place. Garrus’s tech overload tore through the shields, shredding them and leaving the troopers vulnerable to Shepard’s technical abilities and Wrex’s biotics.

As they advanced up the ramp, Shepard paused. Far up ahead, as big as the eye could see, was Sovereign itself. The Reaper was attached to the Citadel Tower, attempting to already start the invasion process. Shepard couldn’t help but swallow as she viewed all two kilometers of the synthetic body far above and in front of her, like a giant parasite. Garrus let out a strangled noise when he stopped, too. It was Wrex that got their attentions refocused to the geth farther up and the turrets that the Citadel’s own defense had brought out to shoot at them.

Shepard landed hard into a small ravine, Garrus at her side. “Saren must have hacked the defense turrets. They’re not targeting everything, just us!”

“There is shielding around each turret! We have to take some of it out just to do more damage!” Garrus’s voice, even this close, was hard to hear over the booming of the nearby turrets and the occasional shifting of one of Sovereign’s leg pieces.

Shepard tossed her head to see Wrex hiding in cover behind a large piece of outer wall. “Wrex! Warp down those shields, and Garrus, overload what you can! We need clearer shots!”

The pair watched as the krogan did so, and the first turret was quickly brought to its death. Carefully the trio then moved forward into another set of ravines. Wrex did the same thing, allowing Shepard and Garrus to focus on the next turret while the krogan shot down any more geth troopers that were popping out from up ahead. It was costing them precious time to use this strategy, but Shepard couldn’t think of anything else. Any minute they could all be dead. Any second a whole fleet of Reapers could arrive.

The whole galaxy could just...stop.

“Spirits, Shepard! The arms are closing!” Garrus called out and pointed above and behind them, his voice vibrating with shock.

She followed and watched the five humongous arms of the station as they began to close together. Sovereign had torn through a few Citadel space ships in its path, and their debris were starting to float over the squads’ heads in the tightening space. Geth dropships flew near. Shepard swore again and made the team trudge forward to the next part of the way up, determined to find some way to the Council chambers and open the damned arms back up.

Wrex moved forward on Shepard’s signal to charge at an enraged krogan battlemaster. Shepard disabled the juggernaut running fast behind the enemy krogan, likely one spared from Saren's old lab. She witnessed Garrus take the geth out.

“Watch him, Wrex!” Shepard shouted as the battlemaster dipped low, moving to take Wrex off his feet and beat the life out of him.

Wrex waited until the last second to put the krogan into a stasis field. Shepard watched, amazed, as he leaned forward, put his massive fist through the helmet of his enemy, and then used his biotics to lift the struggling, dying krogan into the anti-gravity of the closed station. She could help but shout victoriously with him as they moved on with determination.

The only thing in their way now was a geth dropship and a few turrets. This time they were close enough that the turrets hadn’t been hacked by the geth or Saren yet. Shepard smiled, happy to finally have an advantage. “Garrus! Run up to the left turret and hack it. The ship is coming in! I’ll get this one. Wrex, stay front right and keep those synthetic bastards off us!”

Both of her squad did as she ordered. Shepard bent, her comm picking up the sounds of the ship as it moved to hover low above them and drop enemy geth practically on top of their location. She felt vibrations go through her armored suit at the new change in pressure and the discharge from the geth ship’s engines, and then suddenly her turret came to life in front of her, pounding away at the large insect-like ship. Another peppering noise came to her left as Garrus got his turret operational. Tracers flew everywhere, like lightning-fast fireflies above her head.

She bent behind her turret and used her electronic and decryption moves in time with Garrus’s to help Wrex clear off the geth that had landed from the ship. A rocket trooper aimed a shot right at her turret and scored its hit, causing her to sprint wildly to Garrus’s side for cover.

“Garrus, take that rocket trooper out!” she barked and spun, overloading the synthetic being to give him a better shot.

With only one turret actively fighting the dropship, Shepard switched her focus and layered pistol fire all over it, calling out to Wrex to switch his guns and do the same, with a little added warping.

Garrus tightened against her as he yanked her next to him behind the turret. “Heads up, that thing’s gonna blow!”

“Wrex, move!” Shepard screamed. She closed her eyes as the geth ship exploded above them, sending bright light and shock waves all through the area. Large debris floated by safely, but a fewer smaller pieces were forced downward toward them with terrifying speed. Shepard cried out as a piece of shrapnel caught in the paneling right next to her leg, spearing the Citadel.

After a few more precious moments of seclusion, Garrus shoved her shoulder. “It’s clear, Commander!”

“Good. Wrex, you there?” She called out as she stood and moved into the open.

The krogan rose from his spot behind her old turret. “Yep. Let’s go get Saren.”  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN: NOWHERE TO RUN**

  
  


  
  


She couldn’t believe it came down to this. Her quarry, her prey, the bizarre-looking turian stood before her blocking access to getting the arms open. They had already cleared out the Council chambers, leaving only Saren, and that made it a fair fight—three on one instead of the past hours of a few hundred on three.

His flung grenade nonetheless had the trio darting out of its path.

Shepard landed hard to the left and held her arm up to protect her vulnerable face, having discarded her helmet a moment ago to breathe better. She slid into cover behind part of the left stair column, pistol still in hand. Garrus was across from her in a similar position, and Wrex had backed off behind a nearby planter full of small, pink-leafed trees.

“And here I didn't think you'd make it, Shepard,” Saren drawled out as he floated beyond the holo screen she desperately needed to access.

She rested her head back a moment.  
  
“Stupid of you,” she called out. “For what?”

 _“This_ moment.” His voice raised a little as he continued, “You’ve lost, Shepard. Surely you must see that. Sovereign is close to full control of the Citadel. And when the relay is opened, the Reapers will return.”

He almost sounded awed. Almost. Shepard swallowed. She had to think, fast. “Don't count me out, Saren. I've learned a thing or two,” she replied, mind on the data she had to regain control of the station.

“You may have lived from Virmire, but I'm better now,” Saren said. His tone became strangely soft. “Sovereign gifted me with upgrades.”

Shepard shook her head. He looked wrong before for a turian, and he definitely did more so now. So _metal_. “You let Sovereign put _anything_ into you? Are you fucking _insane_?”

Saren floated, almost nonchalantly. “Thanks to you, of course. After Virmire, the concerns you inspired about indoctrination and manipulation were eroding my mind. Sovereign could sense this hesitation and gifted me with implants to _show me,_ to boost my resolve. Now.... Now I have no more poisonous thoughts of yours. I believe Sovereign's words and understand that the Reapers need us to complete the cycles. Join us, Shepard, and there will be a spot for you.”

Garrus snorted at the statement.

Shepard shook her head. As if any spot by Sovereign’s side would do any good. She had to get through to him. Surely some part of Saren was still, well, _turian_ and a Spectre, right? “Sovereign is controlling you through those stupid 'gifts.' Tell me you can make that connection.”

Saren had an easy reply, one that Sovereign had made him rehearse to erase his doubts more. “You misunderstand. Our relationship is one of symbiosis—organic and machine together, blended with the strengths of both and the limitations of neither.” Saren gestured to his body. “I am your future, Shepard. All of our future. _Join_ us! Experience _this_!”

She’d rather burn in the stomach of a thresher maw and nearly told him so.

Garrus glanced across at her, his eyes pleading for her to talk, keep talking, because as long as Saren wasn’t at that screen, they had a chance. “This isn't done yet! I can stop this, I really can! Just step aside, Saren, and _let me_ save us.”

“You can't!” Saren cried out, his arms jerking. There it was—that shred of organic preservation still inside of him. “Anything you do only puts it off, Shepard! It won't _stop_.”

“You know this is wrong, Saren! You can _help me_. We can begin stopping them right here, right now!” Shepard turned, looking up toward the once fleshy turian, one who may have been a pompous Spectre but a possibly handsome alien at one point. “Please, just...just do the _right thing_ , damn it! You're one of us! An organic! A turian! Don't turn your back on us and say it's for our own good!”

To her, Garrus, and Wrex’s combined shock Saren began to agree. “M-Maybe you’re...right, it could... _be_ possible. I—” He cut off his words with a shout of pain as a visible jerk tore through his adapted body. “The implants. Sovereign is...fighting me. I’m sorry, Shepard. I _can't_.”

At his apology Shepard rolled out into view, standing down the steps below the traitor to the galaxy. Garrus’s small blue eyes nearly leapt from his skull at her action, and he motioned for her to get back down. She stood firm, her gaze on Saren. “This isn't over! Redeem yourself for bringing us here! Help me!”

“There's only one way to help you now,” Saren replied, gun lifting. “Goodbye, Shepard. Thank you.”

The sound of the gunshot blast would echo forever in her hearing.  
  
Saren’s body slowly fell from his self-inflicted shot to the head, the look as the life left his eyes haunting Shepard.  
  
She wanted to stand there and process it, needed to, but she didn't have the time. Sovereign was wrapped about the Citadel, and Shepard had to compartmentalize her sorrow and rage quickly. If they stopped the Reaper from signaling invasion, maybe then...maybe then she could try to unpack the trauma of them racing to find Saren and seeing his corpse through the broken glass floor in front of the holo screen, crumpled onto some grass in a decorative area below.

Garrus closed his jaw after a moment. “Spirits. He actually did it.”

“He broke through just long enough to help us. Let’s make it count.” Shepard glanced to him. “Go make sure he’s dead. I’ll get the arms open.”  
  
She felt Wrex and Garrus leave to do as she asked. Shepard immediately synced her omni-tool with the holo screen in front of her and opened Vigil’s data packet. Within seconds, the doors were reopening. Even in here she could hear them move, despite not feeling it under her feet.

Immediately she had comm chatter bursting her ears. “Commander? Anybody? This is Joker, copy!”

“Joker, it’s Shepard. We’re on the Citadel. I’m opening the arms, get moving!” she called back through her comm.

“Fifth fleet is here, Commander, and we're requesting your orders. Do we guard the _Destiny Ascension_ or focus fire on Sovereign?” Joker’s voice urgently jumped around. “The Council is aboard the _Ascension_ , I repeat, the Council _is_ aboard the _Destiny Ascension_ , but Sovereign's fire power is insane! They're getting ripped apart!"

Shepard revolved upon seeing her squad mates return. Both Garrus and Wrex looked to her. She had to make a choice, fast.

Garrus swallowed. “Focusing on Sovereign will sacrifice the Council, but we’ll have more firepower to take him down.”

“On the other hand, who doesn’t want a grateful Council?” Wrex offered her, taking the mantle of the devil’s advocate.

It wasn’t that she wanted them in her debt. This was a defining moment. She knew if she called the fleet to protect the Council that any surviving ships would move to Sovereign. There would still be firepower, just maybe not as much, but that wasn’t counting in all the turian support and Citadel ships that were still coming inside the now opened arms. Saving the multiracial Council would represent saving the galaxy as a whole, and maybe prove for once and for all that humanity deserved to really be part of it. Shepard didn't have to think twice as she gave the order, “Save the Council, Joker! I repeat, save the _Destiny Ascension_!”

“Copy, Commander! On my flank!” he called out before his comm broke from hers.

“Shepard.” Garrus stepped forward and placed a heavy hand on her shoulder.  
  
She knew he was wondering how many human ships were about to be sacrificed for a Council that had already shown its arrogance and frustrations against her race.

“It’s the right thing.” She watched him nod, and then Wrex did so behind her. Shepard didn't give the order lightly, and she would have still given it had they been _on_ their ship and not stuck where they were.

Out of nowhere the platform they stood on started to bounce.  
  
Red light shout out around the holo screens, like wild energy pushing back against the currents that jumped downward into Saren’s body. They watched as it burst through his form, causing any flesh he had left to disintegrate. He looked like a turian husk as his corpse wriggled against the intrusion from Sovereign.

Shock waves smacked the platform under them, and it shook hard before it collapsed partially, tossing the three comrades onto the ground below. Shepard rolled with a groan and readied her pistol the moment she saw the once-Saren puppet creature suddenly leap from the ground to a wall beside them. He fired out several explosively heated shots, causing her to roll twice before being able to dart behind a piece of decorative rock. Garrus was up to her right, dampening the creature; it gave them only seconds of reprieve, allowing Shepard to overload some of its powerful shields down and let Wrex throw out a killer warp.

Just as she aimed her pistol, the creature shot off again, bouncing from one wall to the partial underside of the platform still above them to right in front of her feet. It crawled, its body low to the ground. Shepard fought back the sheer terror she felt at the sight of it and fired several rounds into its face, only taking a deep breath when it froze in a momentary stasis field.

“Shepard, move!” Garrus called out across the opening.

She did, following the sound of his voice and landing hard next to him behind a different rock. Wrex was feet away, his gun blowing holes in what was left of the skittering nightmare. The stasis wore off, and it zoomed once more back to the ceiling, the left wall and then the right, stopping to send its own offensive dampening tech. Shepard and Garrus both shouted as their omni-tools backfired powers they had just tried to unleash together. Wrex gave out a war cry as it discharged a blast right into his massive body and leaped in front of him, prepping for another huge wave. Wrex dove out of the way at the last second, barely shielding himself with a thick barrier before it detonated.

Garrus leaned into Shepard, trying to hold his head down to block it from shrapnel that flung everywhere. Shepard risked a look out and saw the creature zip upward, angle itself right over them and prepare to fire.

She grabbed Garrus by the arm and yanked, rolling with him to the next cover, their bodies catching and tangling. Shepard unhooked her torso from Garrus’s long enough to send out a sabotage flash and watched as the creature dropped to the ground nearby. Garrus unloaded into it with everything he had in his rifle. Shepard followed suit, only stopping when she saw Wrex come out of nowhere, charging right into the husk-like turian. He gripped it, smashed its face into the wall, and then tore its metal spine apart with his massive, gloved hands.

Shepard viewed the sight with pride and adoration, not to mention silent relief that the krogan had stayed on her side, had not tried to do something similar to her on Virmire in his rage. Light popped around the skeletal frame and crackled the moment the creature became defunct. Wrex stepped back as Shepard and Garrus stood simultaneously, all of them watching it, still waiting for Sovereign to somehow hot wire the nerves in pieces of Saren's body again. Shepard fired a shot in its skull just in case. Her shot startled them all, the group _still_ in shock at having fought a fucking corpse.

“Wait,” she said, her eye finding movement in the glass to their left.

They all turned and saw Sovereign, powerless from its concentration in Saren's body being destroyed, falling away from the tower above them, the legs of the Reaper unhinging and sending it crashing through space inside the Citadel's arms. Its underbelly was exposed as ships—Alliance, turian, Citadel, asari, all nearby—blasted the Reaper to hell, earning extremely happy whoops from Shepard, Garrus and Wrex. As pieces of the giant Reaper flung apart, one of its leg-like limbs shot forward, separated like a missile and moving fast in their direction.

Shepard turned and said the only thing she could. “Move!”  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT: CAN'T SAY GOODBYE**

  
  


  
  


Fear reigned for several minutes after the battle ended and the foreign Reaper and geth ships were neutralized. Alliance and C-Sec had fought their way through the rubble of the station, tearing the Citadel apart for survivors. Thousands of wounded, hundreds dead, but none of those names matched the three on their very short priority list.  
  
When the searching teams found a turian and a krogan in part of the tower, they sighed in relief, two names crossed alive off of their list. Both of the aliens looked utterly despondent and afraid as they, too, struggled to scan the rubble around them for a redheaded human woman.

Garrus finally saw Shepard jumping around parts of the broken tower on the far opposite side of their location, climbing her way over with a smile that bordered silliness.

His heart fluttered, subharmonics more thrilled and less fearful. Relief beat through his pulse.

Garrus and Wrex hung back as Shepard, clutching her arm, made her way to Anderson as he showed with more search and rescue teams. The turian’s eyes traveled the Commander, his friend, ensuring no other injuries visibly with his visor.

“Damn, Shepard, you had us worried there for a minute,” Anderson said with a smile, taking her hand in a shake.

Garrus saw the tired ache get shoved under humor in her eyes. It was a look she had used many times on the _Normandy_. He watched the exchange continue between she and Anderson, relieved when the medical tech left Garrus to attend to Shepard. He almost regretted that relief when he felt Wrex sock him hard in the shoulder, bruising him through the heavy armor.

“Spirits, Wrex, the hell was that for?” Garrus rubbed his armored shoulder, crowing in subharmonics that Wrex could hear.

The krogan chuckled. “You stare any longer, turian, and you’ll go blind.”

Garrus felt the flush creep over him, but ignored it in determination to not let Wrex get the best of him. “Just worried. Relieved. Hoping her arm’s fine.”

“Fool yourself, Vakarian. Don’t fool me.”

“You seem to be implying something, Wrex.”

“Oh, I'm past implying it. Can't believe we have to have this stupid talk _twice_.” Wrex lowered his massive head to be on eye level with the kneeling turian. “She may not have that great a sense of smell, but _I do_. Now that this crap’s over...do something about it.”

Garrus sat, mandibles fluttering in embarrassment as the krogan returned to standing. “Wrex....”

The krogan shrugged, refusing to say more. Both of them straightened as Shepard left Anderson’s side to find them. Garrus sighed, happy, and heard a low chuckle from the krogan on his left. Garrus ignored it and smiled to himself as she came closer.

“Garrus. Wrex.” She smiled at them. “All limbs accounted for?”

“Takes a lot more than a nasty fall to destroy me, Shepard,” Wrex croaked out with a laugh. “Unlike you squishy humans.”

“Oh shut up, Wrex. I took a piece of Sovereign to...to everything,” she finally groaned, adjusting the hold on her arm. “I don't know how we survived that destruction.”

“I don't know, but an arm injury is the least we could have hoped for, Shepard. And my handsome face never got worse for the wear, either,” Garrus joked, remembering her comments as the Mako had crash landed onto the Presidium. Spirits, was that just a few hours ago?

He flushed when he felt her eyes travel his face, as if to confirm he was fine. Wrex let loose a low rumble that only Garrus could hear; Garrus knew it was in response to the increased scent his glands secreted at her look.

“Seems like everything’s still there, Garrus. You’ll be able to get laid after all.”

Wrex burst out laughing hard, earning a grin from Shepard. Garrus knew she wouldn’t understand the real reason for the krogan’s loud laughter and played her comment off. “Yeah, yeah, Shepard.”

Turning serious, the Commander glanced at both of them. Garrus smelled her emotions shift to sadness. Shepard looked briefly to the floor at her feet. “So...you two staying here with this mess?”

 _Are you coming with me?_ Her real question hung in the air, unsaid.

“Not long in this mess. Got a bigger one to deal with on Tuchanka. Thanks to your incessant griping, I might have the motivation to do something about it, Shepard,” Wrex started.  
  
Gingerly, surprising both Garrus and Shepard, the krogan put a huge hand on Shepard’s good arm. “Will be in contact. You better keep this up, though. I’d hate to have said I was part of the squad of the cushy, retired Shepard.”

“Retired? Pft.”

Wrex laughed, a gleam in his red eyes as he looked into Shepard’s face. He angled his head. “In seriousness, Shepard...keep up the fight. The next time I hear a krogan call humans weak, I’ll remind him of you.”

Shepard smiled and then gave him a light punch. Wrex chuckled. “Thanks, Wrex. Keep in touch.”

“Will do.” Wrex briefly looked at Garrus, letting out a low sound meaning, _Get to it_.

Garrus shook Wrex’s massive hand. “Good to know there are some decent krogan out there who don’t want to kill me on sight, Wrex.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re not bad for a turian, either, Vakarian.”

The pair of aliens exchanged a soldiering glance before Wrex nodded once more to Shepard and walked off, leaving the them alone.

Garrus looked to Shepard, seeing the sadness in her features. “You’re going to miss that grumpy ass, aren’t you, Shepard?”

“Yeah, Garrus.”

He laughed, cocking his head at her, then paused. Now those green eyes were turned on him, an even deeper sadness evident in their depths. Garrus felt it echo in himself.

“So...you going to give me a speech, too?” she asked, her calm understanding voice not betraying the feelings he saw in her eyes.

Her stare was doing something to him, something to his emotions that he couldn’t comprehend yet. “I...I, um,” he finally muttered, not sure how to speak what he wanted to say so badly.

“It’s okay, Garrus. I know you want to try for Spectre status again,” she replied, smiling softly at him. “I’m proud of you.”

“Shepard, I....”

“Yeah?”

He forced back the strange feelings in him before turning to humor; it was his old ally in cheering her up. “You can’t get rid of me as fast as Wrex. Sure, I want to go in for training. I want to get the galaxy ready, just as much as you do. We stopped the initial invasion, but you heard Sovereign. They're still coming.”

Shepard paused, eyeing him with curiosity. Her free hand had clenched unconsciously at her side, Garrus noted. “Yeah. So what does that mean for...you and me right now?”

“How long will the _Normandy_ be docked?”

“Anderson told me a week before I get another assignment.”

Garrus smiled at her, his mandibles lifting. “Then you’ve got a week of shore leave before I apply for training. I’m not planning on returning to C-Sec right away.”

“You wanting to hang out, Garrus?”

“Yeah, Shepard. I’ve gotten too used to being on your six, being near you. And apparently I’m not as tough as Wrex to just walk away so fast,” Garrus murmured. Seeing the strange look in her face, he switched tactics. “But if you’re busy, which most of this place will be, then no big deal. Just get in touch with me before you leave so I can say....”  
  
_...goodbye_ , he thought. The word dissolved on his tongue as his stomach twisted.

Suddenly she grinned. The green in her eyes lit up even more in his vision. “All right, Garrus. I’ll go finish some things I need to do, and we’ll see what Wards are still working.”

She paused, nervously, shifting her weight. Garrus hadn’t remembered her doing it much with him before. “Shepard?”

“You can still bunk on the Normandy for now, if you’d like. I know you have to retrieve stuff, like Wrex is probably doing before he heads out in a few days once the Citadel releases traffic. But I mean...I know you’ve got an apartment here and all.” Her words came out rushed somewhat.

He wanted to grin like a fool. She didn’t want to say goodbye, either.

Garrus felt some warmth surge through him. “I’ll grab my gear and sit with you a while, but Shepard, my bed sounds more comfy than my cot.”

“Oh, fine,” she teased and shoved him playfully.

Garrus spoke before the words even registered. “But you’re welcome to crash with me, if you’d like. I’ve got room, and it’d be more comfortable than that...excuse of a bed in your quarters that you hate.”

Shepard stared. And she stared _hard_.  
  
He coughed a little, embarrassed, as he prepared to explain himself, but Shepard spoke, much to his relief. “I bet any couch you’ve got would be more comfortable. I’ll let the crew know they’ve got full shore leave through the week and to contact me via omni-tool. I’ll probably only crash with you a couple of nights—have to keep an eye on the ship and meet with Anderson and the Council.”

Garrus released a tense breath, his mandibles fluttering with excitement. “Sure thing, Shepard. I’ll send the coordinates to your messages. I may not have levo-friendly alcohol, but we can find some. Then you can beat my ass in cards again.”

“Sounds just like the vacation I need,” she said with a laugh. Shepard patted his shoulder, her hand lingering a little longer than needed before sliding back to her injured arm.

“Good. I’ll meet you later when you’re free.” Garrus allowed himself to bend and hug her gently as he had after Virmire. “See you soon.”

“Yep,” she agreed, turning when Anderson called for her. Garrus paused when he heard her voice. “And Vakarian? I hope you’ve got something to offer besides heat sinks for cards.”  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER FORTY-NINE: TAKE FIVE**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Shepard left her meeting with the Council, Udina, and Anderson. The look on the ambassador’s face as she nominated Anderson for humanity’s brand new Councilor seat had been worth all the gripe she had taken from him for the past months. Almost the past _year_. It was still baffling that they'd traveled so much, _accomplished_ so much in that length of time without it feeling like it.  
  
She shook her head as she made her way back to the _Normandy_ ’s dock, past lots of around-the-clock workers trying to clean up the Presidium. She had heard via the Council that several Wards had been hit with debris on the Citadel, but while many were volunteering and lots of workers were hired to help restore working order over the next coming months, functioning Wards had bars, clubs, and restaurants still open. The Council, it seemed, understood that the people needed a release available. Shocking. Maybe they _were_ grateful for being saved after all.

As she boarded the ship, she gave Joker a wink. “Damn good flying, Moreau.”

“Always, Commander.”

“Yeah, that's true. I need the ship’s mic.”

“Sure thing,” Joker said and swiveled his chair some, giving her room to press the holographic switch.

“This is Commander Shepard. Crew, for the success we have all had in bringing down Saren, Sovereign, and the geth, you have a week of shore leave before any new assignment is brought down. In that time, you are free to do whatever on the Citadel. Some of you may volunteer to help, others may wish to find friends and family and let them know you’re okay. That’s fine. And if a few of you need to request transfers to less...dangerous places, that’s fine, too. Speak with me in private. I will be doing work on the Citadel myself, but can be contacted via omni-tool.” Shepard paused, taking a large breath. “I’m proud of _all of you_ , human or otherwise. You all pulled your weight and achieved the impossible. Remember that. We're going down in history, folks.”

Joker eyed her as she leaned away, taking her finger off the holographic interface for the microphone. “Thanks, Commander.”

“Of course. Get your brittle ass on shore leave, too.”

“Don’t need to tell me twice, Shepard,” the pilot said with a grin.

Shepard left the pilot to gather his things and passed by Pressley and some other crew, nodding her head and returning smiles to each of them. She walked through the mess and spoke with staff there, stopping to give Chakwas a large, gentle hug, then took the elevator down to the cargo hold and engineering to check in on everyone there.  
  
To her right she found Ashley speaking with Tali, leaned by one of the side doors to engineering.

“And I just wanted to say...thanks...for all you’ve done, Tali. I won’t forget serving with a quarian.”

Tali patted Ashley’s arm, eyes glowing behind her helmet. “Same here, Williams—Ash. Same here.”

Shepard smiled at both of them, nodding at Ashley’s salute. “Good work, Williams.”

“Thanks, Skipper.”

Shepard spoke briefly with Ash to confirm her continued assignment on the _Normandy_ before discussing Tali’s return to the Flotilla, the pair of them comfortably watching Ashley dash off to her locker. “You’ve got all you need for your Pilgrimage?”  
  
“Yes, thanks to you, Shepard.” The quarian had a bag gathered by her station in engineering.

Among the many UNC missions they had acquired while chasing Saren, a few had involved clearing five planetary presences—a whole system—of geth bases thanks to the intel she'd swiped from that geth console on Zhu's Hope; through those missions they had found information that Tali had begged Shepard to take back with her.

The Commander caught Tali’s glowing eyes gazing out at the _Normandy_ ’s drive core. “You seem sad, Tali.”

Tali turned, focusing on Shepard. “I am. I’m going to miss the _Normandy_...you, Engineer Adams, Ash, everyone.”  
  
Shepard put her hands reassuringly on the young quarian’s shoulders. “You can still contact me anytime, Tali. And you’re welcome to stay as long as you want until we disembark again.”

With relief, the quarian blinked a few times, her small three-fingered hand reaching for hers. “Thanks, Shepard. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to leave immediately.”

“Of course not,” Shepard said. She moved forward and hugged the quarian to her tightly. “You’re my friend, Tali. You saved my ass with that evidence and launched my position. That effect, that truth, won’t change no matter where you go later.”

“Same here, Shepard.” Tali glanced at something behind Shepard’s shoulder and let her hug go. “Liara appears to want to speak with you.”

Shepard nodded and turned, seeing the asari wringing her blue hands together. “Liara?”

“May we speak?”

“Certainly.” Shepard motioned and they walked to a quiet spot in the cargo bay by the wall where Kirrahe’s men had stayed.

Liara released a breath and looked up with tears in her eyes. “I guess it’s over, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Finding Saren, stopping my mother, and finishing the mission.”

Shepard rubbed her sore arm, relieved that the medical attention she had received before returning to the _Normandy_ had done wonders for her pain. “Seems strange.”

“Does that mean our...friendship is over, too, Shepard?”

Shepard blinked in surprise. “No, Liara. Never.”

The asari broke into a smile. “Thanks, Shepard. That makes me feel better.”

“Do you know what your plans are?”  
  
“Not yet. I want to...return to Thessia briefly to speak with the matriarchs about Benezia. Clear her name, you know?”

“Yeah.” Shepard smiled at her knowingly. “She loved you.”

“I know. I’m still surprised she broke through the indoctrination at the end.”

Shepard sighed. “She was strong, Liara. So are you. You may be young still, but you’ll get there.”

“Thanks.” Liara smiled at her, blue eyes wide. “So, you’re going to be busy on shore leave, huh?”

“Yep,” Shepard affirmed with a wave of her hand. She began to tick off items on her fingertips. “Meetings with Anderson, getting in touch with Alliance and the Council, seeing what I can do for clean up efforts, and...oh yeah. Beating Garrus’s ass in cards.”

Liara laughed lightly, a hand to her cheek. “Planning on seeing him before you leave, then?”

“He’s going to stick around on the Citadel, so I’ll probably run into him most.”

Liara took a step forward, slowly wrapping her fingers over Shepard’s. “Commander,” she began, her voice soft. “I’m happy for you.”

Shepard swallowed nervously. “Because I kicked a Reaper’s ass?”

Liara shook her head. “Yes, but...for finding a good...friend...in Garrus.”

“He _is_ a good friend. Best of my life, to be honest,” Shepard admitted. “I’m worried about him dealing with C-Sec and wanting to get into Spectre training. Hopefully his dad won’t be discouraging about it again.”

Liara watched her with those large blue eyes for a moment before she spoke. “I’m sure Garrus will do what he desires.”

She smiled briefly, feeling all of the words said and unsaid by her friend, and squeezed Liara’s hand before letting go. “Yeah. He seems better now from he first came aboard. I’m proud of him. I’m proud of all of you, like I said. You’ve been dealing with things well, considering, too.”

Liara seemed to note the intentional shift in topic, and by that little tic in her manicured brow, Shepard knew the considerate asari was worried she may have said something unwise. Shepard stayed calm and soft in the eyes, and Liara relaxed. “I...yes. I appreciate that, Shepard. Keep in touch, okay?”

“Will do, Liara. Let me know if you need anything. I won't be able to be there for any funeral services, but I can send you anything you need.”

The two women hugged tightly, words flowing through it. Liara smiled at her friend. “Thanks, Shepard.”

“See you around, Liara.”

“You, too.”

As she watched Liara walk away, Shepard glanced over by Garrus’s station. There was evidence he had already been by and grabbed his things. She sighed, both with sadness and then excitement as she thought about having time to just...hang out. Be friends. Not have commanding and subordinate positions between them. She'd miss him on the ship, but she was glad to see him just a little longer.

  
  


\-------------------------

  
  


With a lighter heart, Shepard returned to her quarters and packed an overnight bag with a couple of spare uniforms and her toiletries. Shepard paused at her screen, answering messages from Alliance command before seeing one from her mother, reminding her to come up for air. _I hear you have a week for shore leave. I know you—you’ll want to spend most of it working,_ her mother wrote her. _Don’t. Relax and let others step up for a change, even if just for a few days. Get some rest and remember to laugh._

Shepard smiled at the message and immediately opened a blank template to reply, fingers flying over the holographic keys. Sitting there taking stock of it all, it really hit Shepard how much they'd accomplished. They'd stopped a galactic threat with Saren and at the very least put off Reaper invasion attempts for the time being. They'd traveled to numerous systems, more planets than she had written down, and put several thousand miles on the now defunct Mako from beginning to end. They'd fought geth, batarian slavers, mercs of every race, creed, and color, and somehow had still found time for little things—for cards in the mess, for laughs on the Citadel, or camaraderie through the difficult, very isolating times.

Shepard sent the message on its way, sighing. Her mother would know exactly what to say about Kaidan, just as she had after Virmire, but she did...think...that her mom would read between the lines and worry about her closeness with Garrus and her struggling after the coming change.

When her omni-tool pinged a few minutes after with a new text from Garrus involving coordinates for his apartment and a bar he wanted to meet her at, Shepard transferred the coordinates with a grin. She set out a clean uniform and gathered the last few items for her bag, including her lucky cards that she _did not_ cheat with in Skyllian Five.

Shepard turned to step from her quarters for a shower, but was surprised by a knock instead.  
  
The door opened, and a recognizable turian stood on the other side.  
  
Chellick.

He was handsome in his C-Sec uniform despite its wear and tear from all the fighting he'd no doubt done today in another part of the Citadel. His white markings were bright despite his tired and worn expression, and his green eyes even brighter, still lively as she remembered. “Commander,” he greeted her pleasantly. “Got a moment? I snuck through saying I had a report for your eyes from Executor Pallin. Good to know the old ass's name still carries weight when it needs to.”  
  
“He's an old ass that had reason to be nervous about Spectres, though,” Shepard answered amicably. “What's up, Chellick? Do you actually have a report for me?”  
  
“Hell no. Just didn't have a way to chat with our big hero otherwise.” He glanced over the bag resting on her bed. “Got an appearance to make for news? I _can_ go if you'd rather just message.”  
  
“Oh, no, just...taking five. You're fine.”  
  
“Ah. I won't take much of your time, then, Shepard. I know it's limited with everything. Just wanted to check in.”  
  
She frowned. “Yeah?”  
  
Chellick nodded, hand coming around under his neck and hanging back to his side. “You don't know the heart attack I had knowing you were here doing what you were. Was up to my neck in geth today, then civilians, and my head just wanted to know that you were okay. I know that, I can pass the fuck out fine tonight.”

Surprised, Shepard relaxed her posture. “I'm okay, thanks for asking. Minor injuries on my part that got tended to, thankfully.”

“Good. Someone's gotta look out for you with you looking out for everyone else, Shepard.”  
  
“I got lucky that lots were looking out for me today. I know many weren't so lucky.”  
  
“Yeah like some officers I worked with,” Chellick said, handsome voice going a bit rougher. “I...saw Vakarian on some of the feeds with you. I'm...glad he was there. Don't tell him I said so, though.”  
  
“What? Why?” she asked, baffled. “You two still dislike each other for whatever reason?”

The turian officer snorted and shifted his weight. “If me being openly attracted to you counts as a reason, yeah.”  
  
Shepard's eyes rounded. Her lips parted, and one hand rested on her hip. “Come again?”  
  
“I remember thinking that you were attractive when we first met. In fact...I have for a long time, having caught you on the feeds before. Surprising now, isn’t it?” Chellick took a step closer, then another. When she didn't say anything, more stunned and honestly flattered than she'd been prepared to be, he continued, “Vakarian tried to rip my head off for it. He decided my open interest, which he picked up on, was disrespectful. I didn’t think so.”  
  
“Is that so?” she joked, her breathing hitching higher as she remembered back to when Garrus had behaved so strangely. Had he been jealous then? Shepard tried not to smile but failed, laughing, “You _were_ flirting with me in your office.”

Chellick snickered. “Didn't seem to bother you then.”  
  
“Nope. I find turian men as attractive as human men.”  
  
“ _Thought_ so.” With a nervous sigh, Chellick came to stand directly in front of her. He tilted his head, as if almost dismissing himself with the gesture, but gingerly he reached out and touched her fingers. “Don't suppose I'd be one of them?”  
  
Shepard's pulse leaped in her neck. She couldn't lie. Chellick _was_ attractive to her. But he didn't have her heart in his hand the way someone else did. When she said nothing in her speechlessness, he leaned forward, gently rubbing the ribbing of his nose against the side of her jaw. Chellick’s breath fluttered over Shepard’s neck, causing her nerves to jump happily, but as Shepard pulled back to look over Chellick’s face, the white markings danced in her vision with those bright green eyes.

Not blue markings. Not icy blue eyes.

“Commander....” Chellick whispered in her ear. Startled, she jumped slightly, and then relaxed more when he backed away, looking to the side. “I'm sorry.”

“No, I'm sorry, Chellick.” Shepard couldn’t stop the pain from entering her voice. “I...damn it, it's not you. I swear. I think you're great, despite our differences in handling criminals.”

He pulled back to look at her, a smirk dancing on his mandibles. “Fair. But...can I say something?”  
  
“Yes.”

Chellick made a few noises that didn’t translate before brushing his mandible gently across her cheekbone. “Commander, listen. I think I see why you like turians, or at least why you...really like one of us.”

Shepard instantly sobered up, her thoughts singularly focusing on the way he held himself slightly defensively. “Why?”

Chellick eyed her closely as he stepped back. “Vakarian. Garrus. You like him. I could...tell before, but I...won't lie, I wasn't sure he was aware enough to appreciate you the way I could.”

She didn’t say anything, just stared back at him in surprise at the admission.

Chellick was here confessing feelings to her, and if Garrus hadn't earned her damn heart, this turian would have likely had a genuine shot at it.  
  
Shepard's guts twisted, but she had to be honest. It was the first time she directly was about her feelings that had grown for Garrus Vakarian and his badass visor. “Yeah. I guess I do like him. Quite a bit, actually.”

“He might have driven us crazy at C-Sec sometimes, but he was never a bad guy. I could see why you would.” Chellick must have sensed the building tension in her, because he sighed and took her hands in his. “Shepard,” he said, catching her attention by using her name.

“Yes?”

“If it makes you feel better, he fought me,” Chellick offered, carefully scrutinizing her response. “He argued with me about you that day and even after it _because_ he feels something, too. But...he's not like me. It's not something he might know about himself the way I do or the way even you do liking turian males. An interspecies crush is huge for Vakarian.”

Shepard couldn’t stop her heart rate from hitching at his words. She knew Chellick could hear it. “Think so?”

“Yeah. Shepard, look, if you ever want to...try this, if you ever want to look into me even for a _night_ , then I’m game. But I don’t want to stand in the way of something that's already emotional. Just makes things weird,” Chellick murmured, carefully dragging the back of a talon across her cheek. “You’re lovely, Shepard, and a strong woman, which is something admirable across species. I _like_ you. But I think you need to figure this out. Your first possible relationship with a turian should be with one you care for like that, don’t you think?”  
  
Surprised, Shepard smiled at him. “I thought casual was the way to go with turians your age?”

Chellick laughed, then shrugged. “Yeah usually, Commander, casual things are the way to go, but you’re not really one for that, are you?”

She shook her head. “You’re damn observant.”

“My job to be so,” Chellick replied. He looked over her briefly before leaning to politely kiss her cheek, his plating pressing just a little. “Just uh...call me sometime if you figure this out. I know I won't really be able to compete with Vakarian if he gets his fringe out of his ass, but just...keep it in mind. Me, I mean.”

“I appreciate it, but you know...don't wait, either. Do what's best for you.” Shepard grumbled amusedly. “Why do you have to be so damn sweet? If...ugh. I'm such a terrible person. If I hadn't met him, hadn't...well, kinda fallen for him....”  
  
Chellick's brows slid into a completely sexy look that made her knees weak. “You _sure_ you don't want to just come out with me tonight? It might kill me if you don't, Shepard.”

“Chellick,” she laughed, though very turned on by his flirtatious expression.

“I mean it, Shepard. Spirits, you're gorgeous and funny and so badass. I'm never this ready to jump into something this fast.”

“Sorry?”

“Oh, don't be. Ever. It's hot.”  
  
“I don't think you're a commit type, but I kinda am. And always traveling. So it wouldn't work out anyway.”

“Truth? I'd give it a try. Like I said, I like you. I'm not opposed to dating if I really click with a female on dates or, uh, other kinds of dates,” he answered her honestly and openly, even with his eyes. “I'd stay loyal, Shepard, if that's where it went. So what if you're away some of the time? That's what naughty vids are for.”

She laughed, then sighed, torn and bittersweet as she looked into his face. “Chellick, Garrus isn’t attracted to humans like you are. I really don't think so. But you're right. There's some...emotional entanglement, at least on my end.”

“Maybe he doesn't find humans attractive in general, Shepard, but you? I don’t think it’s the same thing,” Chellick countered. At her confused look, he continued, “Like I said, some things transcend species. You have traits turians like myself look for in females. You just have a human body. Give him some time to come to grips with that. It’s strange to admit attraction to another species at first, and for Vakarian with a father like the one he’s got, it’s even more difficult.”  
  
Shit, she thought. He wasn't wrong. And that made _so_ much sense when she thought about _many_ of Garrus's behaviors around her on the ship and on missions.  
  
“Add in the fact that you were his commanding officer recently and, well, you know. Hell, he may not even be aware that he _has_ feelings for you. The only reason I think he _has_ thought about it is because of how he reacted back in my office that one day. He was a bit _too_ pissed off to just want me reprimanded. He was jealous, and he smelled like it. Besides, if he never says anything, then you call me and I’ll be there. You get...lonely before that, you still call me.”  
  
“Yeah?”

Chellick dropped his face to hers, leaning close to whisper in her ear. “Let's put it...this way. You _won’t need_ another turian, honey.”

“ _Well._ ” Shepard smiled, cheeks blushing red, and Chellick merely returned the smile, mandibles lightly flared, eyes full of sex appeal. As much as his flirting was welcomed, she couldn't give him any more incentive. Not without...knowing. With her feelings for Garrus, it would be leading him on, which she always thought wasn't right. She moved to hug him, giving him genuine affection that he returned. “Thanks, Chellick. I didn’t...I didn’t know you were this good of a person. I didn’t know you as a person at all. I’m glad I do now.”

“Good, Shepard. Still, don’t hesitate to call me later. I wouldn’t mind being used to light a fire under Vakarian’s ass. Jealousy tends to make a turian realize what he wants, you know. We're territorial to the bone.” Chellick laughed sexily. “Besides, you might end up finding you like me better, anyways. I'm clever, cute, and damn compatible in bed, I promise.”

“I do enjoy your company a lot, I'll admit.” Shepard chuckled at him. “All right, Chellick. Deal. Don't hate me if I can't let go of him, though.”

“Yeah, I get you. Well, I'll leave you be, Hero,” he sighed dramatically and teased back, laughing handsomely as she grinned at him. He sighed, and Shepard was a bit wowed to hear actual pain in it. “Damn. Why do you have to like _him_ so much?”

“It's...complicated. Partly one of those 'first sight' things. Partly a lot of gunfire.”

“I...can get that,” he conceded, eyes roving her still, before he turned back to her door. “Enjoy your evening, and if you change your mind even two minutes from now, you call me. Or hours from now. Six in the morning. I don't care, just call me. I'll get my ass up and to you as fast as possible. This is how to reach my omni-tool. Call me anytime, okay? Be my friend, Shepard, if you won't be my girlfriend.”

Shepard grinned, but accepted him entering his information for her on her omni-tool. “All right, _friend_. You're in there. Thanks for the info.”

“I'll take it,” he laughed again, this time full and rich. “You tease.”

She joined him in laughter then, unable to stop. “I'm sorry. I'm an accidental flirt, I think.”

“Accidental, my ass. You're a _tease_. But it's okay. I like it.”

“Go get you a girl, Chellick. It's been a long day, and I'm sure there's someone out there who could use a fun night of stress relief with you,” she winked and moved as her door opened next to him.

“Well I could have _had_ a _woman_ a second ago.” The turian followed her and slowly moved to shut the door after her. His green eyes reflected under the holo-lighting of the bar sign above them. “In all seriousness, as a friend and as someone whose ass was saved by your actions today, make sure you take more than five, Commander. You've given enough for us.”  
  
“I'm meeting Garrus for drinks and cards, actually. I'll take all the time I need.”

Chellick gave her a cute sigh. “Tell Vakarian I said hello if you don't think he won't get grumpy about it. Just be sure I get a hug before you leave port, Shepard. In front of him. Won't that just chap his ass? Might get you results faster.”

“You are _shameless_ , and I fucking love it,” Shepard cackled happily, feeling reassured. “Your enthusiasm is appreciated.”

“Absolutely, Commander. Somebody's gotta remind you that you're one hell of a woman.”

Chellick raised a single brow plate with a cocky smirk on his mandibles as he strode out of her office, his words leaving behind several gawking crew.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER FIFTY: THE BAR**

Dressed nice in civvies, Garrus stood leaning by the front of a turian bar in the lower wards. He toyed with his messages as he waited for Shepard's arrival and sent a brief update to his dad for his family, not eager to get a reply back that he was reconsidering Spectre training. At least the news that he'd made it through the Citadel onslaught would relieve his no doubt afraid mother watching the news.  
  
Garrus had asked Shepard to meet him here because he needed a damn break, needed a way to wind down from the very fast paced, very dangerous events of the day, let alone the past months. Hell, they both did. And he thought an evening out with some liquor and cards might just do the trick. He knew the night was a risk, too, because as ready as he was to enjoy a night out with his friend, Garrus liked Shepard, even if he didn't really understand all the hows and whys about it. He simply didn't know what to do with the information. Like the moment during the lock down where his brain had stuttered trying to imagine what could have come next, Garrus's mind had similar nagging catches now in wondering what he should do.

Try as he might, that talk after Virmire hadn't left his brain, caught bouncing on repeat that Shepard had had to worry about Kaidan's motivations and felt the weight of them when she shouldn't have had to do so. That Shepard herself had been afraid had she _returned_ Kaidan's affections that her worry of the mission may still have made her leave him behind to guard that bomb. That Shepard had felt torn even over that idea that hadn't happened at all. And that...worry for putting her through that somehow felt like a wall. A respectable wall, one built on respect and professionalism, but a wall all the same, especially with him not knowing _exactly_ how Shepard felt for _him_ , too.  
  
Standing there alone, Garrus knew that regardless of what he did or didn't feel for Shepard himself, he had to respect the way she felt about other things—herself, her position professionally, her hierarchy of needs. He wanted to respect the friendship he'd not expected to receive, was grateful for all the effects Shepard had had on him and his sense of self.  
  
He straightened, feeling his hormones come alive when he saw Shepard approaching him, bag over her shoulder, wearing a clean Alliance uniform, and it almost made him laugh seeing her in her typical _Normandy_ garb for this. She was beautiful there as she paused to tuck some strands of her red hair behind her left ear, her green eyes glancing to the rather dusty neon sign. There was something about the curve of her body often hidden behind armor, he thought, and the way she held herself still strong and commanding but also more vulnerably somehow for it.  
  
“What?” he asked at her look. “It's open. Dirty, dusty, and stinky, but it's _open_ on the Citadel right now.”  
  
Shepard barked out laughing. “Fair enough. What is this place?”  
  
“It’s mostly for turians to drink, play cards, or hook up for casual sex, but ah...it's not one to blink at humans being around,” he tried to casually explain. He snickered, lowly side whispering, “Could maybe you'd find you a nice model in there to draw from memory. Or I guess in person, if you buy the right drinks.”  
  
“Garrus,” Shepard laughed at him, but continued to eye him curiously. “Maybe I will.”

Wanting to be supportive, he shrugged. “I know none are as sexy as me, but maybe someone could try.”

Shepard smiled slightly at him, arms seeming comfortably crossed over her chest. “Uh huh.”

“Besides, we both know you’ll just settle for the second most handsome turian,” he joked, mandibles twitching in a smile. Garrus move to bump his hip into her side. “C'mon.”

She rolled her eyes at him, a gesture he knew could mean real annoyance or one that meant she was amused. The smile on the corner of her lips told him she was amused. After a moment, she stepped ahead of him, saying, “Yeah, well, at least the second most handsome turian would settle back. Speaking of, Chellick said to say hi.”

Garrus’s jaw went slack, mandibles dropping slightly to the sides. Territorial jitters went down his spine. “Oh _did_ he, now?”  
  
With a comfortable smirk his way, she stepped through the sliding opening door of the bar, her Commander Shepard face slipping on all too naturally after that as she ignored the eyes of several turians of both sexes and some humans and looked for a place to sit. Garrus followed her to some stools after a minute and ordered a shot of Markis, a famous hard liquor from Palaven. With a murmured thanks to the turian bartender who slid it to him, Garrus downed it in one gulp, as was custom, grateful for the burning that went through him to ground him a bit with his brain still running in circles around her last statements.

Chellick had always felt like competition, if he was honest. And as he sat there with an empty glass watching her fruity levo drink get filled as Shepard adjusted her bag between their feet, he realized he feared her rejection. In recognizing Chellick's more outgoing personality and openness to interspecies relationships, he feared that rejection in a way he had never been afraid of something before. And that fear had eaten at him _all this time_.

He glanced sideways to see Shepard accept her glass with an excited little sip of her straw.  
  
Well, not anymore, he decided. Tonight he'd test the waters. He'd see if that wall still needed to stay. “Taste good?”  
  
“Yeah,” she sighed happily. And when her green eyes flicked back to him, they went past his shoulder and looked behind him. Her expression tightened. “You must, too.”  
  
Garrus straightened on the stool and requested another shot. “Come again?”

“Four o'clock. Some turian girl is staring at you like I just did my drink. Careful, I think she's licking her mouth.”  
  
Garrus turned, incredulous. The female she mentioned _was_ looking at Garrus, baring her neck and lightly flaring her mandibles when she found him staring after her. She had her stained clan markings from somewhere in southern Palaven, a popular relocation spot for members of her previous colony. No bite marks were present to indicate a bond.  
  
“Seems pretty,” Shepard offered quietly, no longer sounding happy, fingers dully twirling her straw now.

The female _was_ attractive, yes, and some part of Garrus wondered if maybe he _did j_ ust need to get laid as, Spirits, he couldn’t remember how long it had been since he’d last had sex. But even as he had the thought, blue eyes scanning the excited female one last time, he tossed it out the way he tossed back the second shot of Markis.

“Doesn't matter,” he replied, turning back to the Commander as the bartender shuffled to help another human male down to their right. “I didn't come here with her.”  
  
There, at the corner of her lips, Shepard smiled. Her fingers toyed more excitedly with her neon straw, and the smile stayed there, coyly.  
  
Invigorated by that, Garrus smiled, too, the shots in him deciding some honesty here wouldn't kill him. “You're prettier, you know.”  
  
“Garrus, you can’t tell if a human is beautiful,” she countered, looking away again. But he had caught that coy smile grow bigger, her top teeth sliding over her lower lip. It was different, this side of her. Soft and teasing. Open in a way she rarely was with him.

He ordered his third shot, shrugging. “Normally I can’t, no, but you...Spirits, Shepard, enough people in here are staring at you, so I know you are. And I don't even need that to know. I just do.”

“Thanks, Garrus,” she almost whispered, her green eyes sliding to glance at him softly. Her hand reached into the front of her uniform in a move that had his blue eyes widening just as it had every other turian male and human man in the establishment gaping, and Shepard produced her set of cards with a grin. “Ready to get your ass kicked?”  
  
Garrus coughed, nose on fire from the third shot nearly choking him. “I might need a second to breathe first.”

She cackled, tossing the wrapped deck in one palm. “Sorry, didn't want to dig through my bag for them here, so I remembered to stuff them in my bra. You up for a game? One without using your visor?”

“Shepard, I’ve had three shots of the best hard, most potent liquor one can import from Palaven and likely am gonna have more. You’ll, what’s the phrase? Wipe the floor with me?”

“Good,” she teased and climbed off her stool, eyes on a booth nearby. “Let's go.”

Garrus followed her over to it, well aware of several masculine and feminine eyes watching them claim the seats together. He settled her drink near his fourth glass of Markis, watching as her hands shuffled the cards. The physical make up of her numerous, quick digits always intrigued him, and he realized when she finished quicker than he'd expected to that she wasn’t shuffling for Skyllian Five poker but a simpler game that she had taught him of trumping cards. He wondered if it meant she didn't want to think as much to start. If maybe she wanted some quiet time to talk.

As she started dividing the cards, her eyes caught his, and his gut proved itself right as he heard her quietly say, “Most people just want someone to fulfill fantasies. They don’t want the real person I am.”  
  
“You think so?”  
  
“Why would they? I'm frustrated, stressed, and busy all the time. Not remotely the person they imagine.”

Carefully, he let the tips of his talons brush her wrist as if by accident when he took his half of the sorted deck from her. “Maybe the right person wouldn't think that way, Athena. Maybe they'd see _you_ , frustrated as you rightly get sure, but they'd see everything. Your humor, talent, all that.”

She tensed at her name, and Garrus angled his face. Shepard twitched as she perused her cards, then lifted her green eyes up at him. “Do you like to call me by my name, Garrus?”

“Well, ever since Virmire when you told me what it was, I...I guess I use it when I know you aren’t ‘Commander Shepard, galactic hero,’ but just Athena, a strong woman and my closest friend,” he answered honestly, debating his next card as she lay down her first and he beat it. “Besides, I looked it up. I know about the goddess it refers to. It’s a perfect name for you.”

“'Cause I’m such a tactician on the battlefield?” Her tone was bitter, wounding him a little without her knowing it. “Since I’m chock full of wisdom?”

“Sure, but I mean those in honest compliments, not bitter feelings over failures like you do,” he began. Garrus adjusted his legs under the booth's table. He chose a harder card for her to trump, hoping distracting her with strategy might help what were clearly some hidden self-esteem issues. “Look Shepard...Athena, I’ve gotten to know the real you—the woman under all the stress and expectation—and I like her. She’s a hell of a friend.”

“Thanks,” she murmured, not looking at him as she snatched the last pair in her win and threw out her following card.

“And I just want her to be happy, to see her smile and hear her laugh. Even if it's someone else making her feel that way.”  
  
There. He had said it, or was going to get as close as he could to saying it.

Slowly, Shepard reclined back against the booth, beautiful in the low lighting. “Garrus...?”

His subharmonics trilled at the intrigued, soft tone that she had used with his name, and he wished she’d do it again. Garrus looked at her and saw some hair had come loose behind her ear and had stuck to her cheek in the heat of the bar. He leaned a talon forward over the table and gently tucked the strands back behind her ear. She shivered, as did he, though she couldn’t tell. The contact stimulated him more than the continued staring of the turian female still staring at him across the bar.

He sniffed, pleased by her scent. “Maybe it should be a turian, though, instead of a human.”

She laughed, surprising him. “The hell, Garrus? Are you prejudiced after all?”

He eyed her, his body warm and thrumming, his hormones excited and wanting. “No. Not at all.”

“Then what do you mean?” she asked, brow arched, hand around her tall glass with her lips now over her straw.

“Because I know that humans just don’t cut it for _you_ , Shepard,” Garrus teased. She laughed again, to his relief, encouraging him alongside the liquor in his system. “And...well. Maybe I don't want some other turian modeling for your art.”

“...Garrus?” she asked again, her red fringe sliding into her eyes as she looked into his face from across the booth.

He gulped a little at the intensity rapidly blooming between them, trying his goddamn best to ignore the rest of the sounds of laughter and shouting and music in the bar.

The turian female who'd openly viewed him earlier sashayed close by to get his attention on her way to the bar for another drink, interrupting the moment and making Shepard tense, her eyes narrowing.  
  
Garrus thirsted after that very possibly jealous expression as much as he did another shot. He turned his face and focused on the cards again, placing one down. “Still not interested.”

“High taste, huh?” she teased, making the next move in the game. “She really _is_ pretty, though, Garrus.”

“So?” he replied, trumping her card. “She has yellow eyes. I've got a thing for green ones.”

“Really now?” she asked, beating his last one and taking the pair.

Garrus nodded, his voice a little rough. “Yep. Started about a year ago.”

Her head snapped up from her cards to look at him intently. He grinned at her, mandibles lifting at her reaction, his face plates moving with the emotion. She grew flustered and outweighed the card he had just sat down. She pulled the pairs back to her side for points. “That so, Vakarian?”

“Yeah, Shepard.”

“Are Tali’s eyes green? I thought they always looked slightly purple or white, but I know her helmet is tinted.”

Garrus triumphantly threw one down that beat hers. He pulled the pair to his side. “No idea, Shepard. Why?”

“Oh, just thought, you know. Turian and quarian couples aren’t that rare. You’re both dextro-based and whatnot.”

Garrus watched her eye the next card he sat on the table by their empty glasses. “Not attracted to quarians, Shepard. Wouldn’t even know what they look like.”

With a grunt, she threw down a lesser card, and he took the pair to his side again. He tossed another one out.

He swallowed. “Listen, Shepard. You’re my best friend, right?”

She took the next pair, eyes nonchalantly wandering over his face. “Right.”

“And I can ask you anything?”

“Of course,” she said, growing concerned.

“This thing you have for turians,” he said and paused, playing his next card and taking the pair from her. He looked up and saw she had frozen, a new card in her fingers, eyes wide.

“Yeah?” she prompted with a grin after a moment of visible curiosity at the direction of his question.

“Can’t help but think you might have been in love with a turian before. Seems pretty strong.”

His superior hearing let him note Shepard swallowing roughly in front of him as she pretended to look at her last two cards. “Not in love, no. Have had respect for many of them. And if you keep your mandibles tight about it, I’ll tell you a secret.”

“Spill it,” he ordered excitedly.

She laughed to herself. “Ran into a turian consult once in training. Had the biggest crush on him. Until that point I'd never really seen turians my age or within a ten year gap. But he was handsome. Striking with a pale face and deep, dark green markings. Never did get his name, and I’m damn sure I made him very uncomfortable staring as much as I did. It was almost uncontrollable. Shame I never got to...know him, though, because he was the reason I started drawing full-body sketches of turians. So many dreams about him, too.”  
  
“Why, Commander,” he teased. Garrus considered her face for a moment before selfishly asking, “Am I really as handsome as you say, Shepard?”

Her face was turning red again, nearly matching the color of her fringe. Garrus cocked his head, emotions stirring in him. “Yes,” Shepard replied, taking the cards to reshuffle them after counting her winning tally of pairs. “You already knew that, though. It’s part of your image.”

“Oh shut up, Shepard.” he replied, waiting for her to finish. “I’m being serious.”

“Uh huh,” she murmured, eyes glittering with laughter in them.

Garrus groaned. “Are you telling me you’ve been nursing my ego this whole past year?”

“You needed it, after all the anger and doubts you’ve experienced,” she explained, pausing to actually sort the deck for Skyllian Five this time.

He crossed his arms. “Nice of you.”

“Still true though, Vakarian. You’ve got a hell of a pretty mug for a turian. Bet there's six females staring at you in this bar.”

“Seven.”

She rolled her eyes. “A-A-And you’re back.”

“No need to be grumpy, Shepard. You're number seven.”

“What?” Shepard asked, startled, with a little hum in her throat.

“Well?” he asked, nerves flaring deliciously. “Am I wrong?”

“Oh hell. Fine.” Shepard rubbed her face and pulled her hair back behind her ears. “You're gorgeous, Vakarian, and you know it.”

Garrus felt pleasure wash through him as he prepared for the first round of Skyllian Five. “You...really think so?”

“You don't think I do?”

“Athena, my ego...may be fair-sized, and I might have been a flirt at one point in my life, but I'm still learning you. What, ah...signs are what. What are jokes, what aren't.”

Shepard sighed, mildly concerned, as she fidgeted with the hand he'd dealt her figuratively and literally. He couldn't help it. He wanted to hear more. He wanted to know if she shared all these thoughts of his, if this was just her safe way of flirting with a turian, or if she had feelings for him, too, complicated feelings that made her want to do things she couldn't even envision yet with someone of another species.

Garrus took a breath and went for it as he tapped his knuckles, hoping for a flush in his cards to match the one growing on Shepard's face. “You know, Athena, if you give the most handsome turian you know a second to get his bearings about you...and how you feel or don't...he might settle like you want.”

Shepard's rosy lips parted, her eyes large on his.

His brow ridges softened as he brushed over her fingers for a moment, looking over his cards at her. She hadn't stopped staring at him in a very shocked, unblinking way. It took her a few seconds to thaw out, but she did, murmuring, “Well...trust me, then, when I say this is how I mean it. You're gorgeous, big guy. And a hell of a shot.”

“That I knew,” he joked, feeling better that at the least her physical attraction was genuine. “Better shot than you.”

“Ass,” she chuckled and dealt herself another card.

They didn’t speak for the next two rounds where he bet and she held, but by then he'd lucked out. Garrus shocked her by beating her with a royal flush he'd accumulated at last.

Shepard’s jaw was still dropped as she saw him sit back in his chair. “You...cheated.”

“Oh, because you didn’t win Skyllian Five, I cheated?”

She eyed him suspiciously. “How did you do it? Did you use your visor? You promised, Garrus! I thought those shots were potent!”

“Sure they are. After about...six of them, and I've had four. Shepard, I’ve always been good at Skyllian Five. I’ve just let you win,” he teased, eyes twinkling. “And I'm not even wearing the damn visor, so shush.”

She laughed, the music of the bar accompanying almost making it musical. “Fine! At least I still beat you earlier.”

Garrus waited until she relaxed back in her chair, the both of them exhausted from the day and growing tired of the background noise. “Listen, I know I’m not going to be on the _Normandy_ anymore, Shepard. I won’t be on your six. I won’t be there. It bothers me. But that just spurs me to want to finish training faster so I can partner with you, if you want. Spectre to Spectre, taking on bad guys. At least then I wouldn’t be so fucking far away.”

“That would be fucking cool,” she agreed, smiling with a yawn. “You’d make a hell of a Spectre. Always thought so. They've just gotta select you after all of this.”

“I know, but I think you’re missing my point, too.” Garrus shrugged his shoulders and rolled his neck, feeling tense. He slowly slid his way out the booth, a bit wobbly in the head and heart.

He took her hand to pull her to her feet, the pair of them weaving through the new line at the bar for the exit. Shepard carried her bag in her hand between them.

“We can still communicate. Send messages, do holo vids. Whatever we can,” she offered as they got back outside near the terminal for sky cars. “Our friendship will endure. You won't be as far as you think.”  
  
Tiredly they rented one, and Garrus input his address in the autopilot.

Sitting together in the intimacy of the sky car, his eyes landed on hers sharply for the first time in hours. He knew they were both exhausted, physically and emotionally, having not slept since before the fight on the Citadel. He knew they both just wanted to not exist for a while with lives and schedules.  
  
Garrus adjusted in the car seat, tilting his chin to look at her so close in the seat next to him, her bag in the back behind her. She raised one of her eyebrows at him, flexing it like he would one of his brow plates.

“I’m glad it will, Shepard,” he finally said. “Your friendship matters more than I can say.”

Awkward and unsure of what to say, she leaned back into her seat. He sat up, watching her, and then, with the simplest of gestures, held out his hand between them over the console. As if in a trance, Shepard slid her hand into his, their fingers finding places to interlace and wrap together. Inwardly he felt emotion surge, feelings he couldn’t understand yet in their depth beyond happiness and desire, but he let them flow anyway.

She closed her eyes as he lifted their held hands and nuzzled them before resting their clasped fingers over his left leg.  
  
He felt some sort of buzzing in his veins and fought the urge to lean across as he stared at her soft, quiet face, fought the desire to nuzzle her cheek the way he had her fingers and go with his body’s strange new needs.

When the car arrived at his apartment and they released their hands to get out of the taxi, Shepard stood by his door. He unlocked the apartment, muttering, “You know what I'll miss?”

A shy smile graced her lips. “What's that, Vakarian?”  
  
“Your sass.”  
  
“I'll message you in training. How else will you learn, Garrus?”

“Oh shut up and get inside so you can hug me,” he growled out, feeling her laugh as she listened, as they came in through the door and she stepped up on her toes to hold around his neck and cowl. He inhaled her scent, lost in it and the satisfaction of holding her so warmly, their bodies almost melding together in some perfectly mismatched way. “I’m feeling so good. Thank you, alcohol, for letting me whip Shepard’s ass at Skyllian Five and live.”

“Hah. You think you’re funny,” Shepard grunted with a smack of her bag to his leg.

Laughing, he let go of her and made his way to the bathroom. “Take the bed. I need a shower.”

She eyed him quizzically.

“It's been a long day, and I think I could use a second shower,” he said, tucking that loose piece of her fringe back again behind her ear. “And you need something very comfy to sleep on, hero Spectre. Have at it.”

“You’re taking the couch?” she asked, green eyes darting to the sofa nearby.

“Yeah,” Garrus replied quietly. “Thanks for winding down with me tonight.”

“Thanks for offering.”

Neither spoke for a few moments. Just stared at one another.  
  
Shepard viewed his face with something open, something big Garrus didn't quite know the words for, and said, “You’re my best friend, Garrus.”  
  
Before he could say he knew, that he understood she if didn’t want to ruin something important, she continued, confessing, “And if it had been you with that bomb, I don't think I could have left you. No one's...ever mattered more than my job before.”  
  
Garrus swallowed, neck flushing dark to match her own blushing cheeks. As he raised a brow plate in awe, his throat feeling raw working down the emotions, he realized that while she needed respect with professionalism, she was okay with something else being there besides their friendship. And so he confessed, too. “No one else has for me, either.”

Shepard watched him move towards the bathroom, her eyes soft, patient, and tired, but happy, while Garrus prepared to freeze his ass off during a cold shower to calm his racing heart.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE: QUIET HAPPINESS**

  
  


  
  


Shepard woke several hours later the next morning from a very sexy dream, tangled in the sheets of Garrus’s bed. His slightly spicy scent was all around her in the covers, the pillows, and the room. She’d had a dream of the bar, of coming back from it, but in her sleep it continued beyond when she'd pretended to be asleep as he'd come out from the shower and sat on the couch, nervously glancing her way before finally lying down to sleep. No, in her dream Shepard had jumped him there at the bathroom door, dragging him down to the bed with her and fucked his brains out, hers already long gone. It was her first real sex dream about Garrus beyond dirty foreplay or sensual situations, and she hoped to God that he couldn't tell she'd had one by scent.

She sighed happily to herself before glancing back at the couch.

He lay there, on his side, left hand hanging above the floor; a blanket was wrapped over his body, and most of the right side of his face was hidden in a pillow. She let herself watch him for a moment, happy to see him sleeping. He was so peaceful when he did, all planes and angles buffed at the edges of their sharpness.

Garrus liked her, she was now certain, after everything said and unsaid last night, all the words they'd left between things they'd shared.

She rubbed her legs together as she stared at him, thinking about it.

Garrus's left mandible twitched a little as he slept, and his fingers flexed, lightly drawing his talons over the floor.

She didn’t know what was going to happen when he woke up, hung over, but she was excited. Hopeful. And so Shepard forced herself to move from his bed and, grabbing her bag, made for the bathroom to shower. He hadn’t stirred at all.

Minutes later, as she was about to step from the shower, fresh and warm, she heard a blast of noise from the next room. Thrashing followed it, as did several interesting bird-like noises. Thinking he might have fallen off the couch and hurt himself, Shepard wrapped the towel tightly around her and opened the bathroom door. Her jaw dropped when she saw him standing shirtless in the middle of the open, adjoining rooms, talons raking over his face that accompanied a very panicked look while he searched around.

It was hard to snap her eyes from his gorgeous form, as lean and shining as it was with the plating over part of his shoulder and down his carapace fading into a “v” onto his visibly muscled stomach. Soft, suede like spots on his darker skin here and there contrasting gorgeously with his silvery plating. He was so goddamn handsome that it hurt a little to stare at him.

Belatedly it hit her, though, what he was doing.

“Hey,” she said, startling the ever loving shit out of him.

Garrus turned to face her as he jolted. The look of relief on his face was amazingly visible, even for a human unacquainted with turian facial expressions. He dropped his hands to his sides, his breathing heavy.

“You okay?” Shepard asked, concerned. His eyes were tense on her as they traveled down her dripping hair and face to the towel tightly wrapped around her body, slowly and sensually down to her toes. Shepard shifted her weight and tried to rein in her heart rate at how fucking hot that look had been. “What's um...wrong?”

“Nothing. I—I panicked. Woke up and you weren’t there. I couldn’t find your bag. I thought you’d left through the night,” he murmured, eyes unblinking. Slowly he scented the air. “But...you didn't.”

“Just had a shower, Vakarian,” she grinned. “Calm down before your head explodes.”

He laughed a little nervously then sat on the bed, rubbing the front plates of his face.

“Hang over?”

“A bit,” he said. “Not as bad as I figured for barely hydrating before bed.”

“That’s good,” Shepard replied.

She finished dressing and came out with her bag in one hand and her towel drying her hair in the other. Garrus watched her, his blue eyes fascinated. His mandibles twitched. She bent to sit next to him, smiling when she felt his talons run through her wet hair.

“So strange,” he whispered.

“Do you not like it?”  
  
He kept touching her hair. “No, it’s just...so soft. A different kind of texture, you know? And it absorbs water. Interesting.”

She leaned in to his touch as his talons rubbed her scalp, releasing tension.

“That feel good?” he asked.

“Yep,” she replied. “Nice to know those talons aren’t just for killing.”

“Oh no, they have all kinds of uses,” he said. He continued for a few more moments before he let his hands fall to her shoulders. Her green eyes met his curious blue ones; they were full of questions.

“So?” she asked, figuring it should get out of the way.

Garrus sighed and let go of her, his turian blues hopeful. “We're good, right?”

She smiled. “Very.”  
  
“Good,” he murmured shyly.

The lighting brightly lit Garrus’s fringe. Curious and feeling brave since he'd touched her hair, Shepard lightly touched her fingers over his fringe and gently traced underneath them on his neck. His breath caught, and her heart stammered in its beat. The plating of the fringe was firm with a harder outer layer, and the skin and plating under it was leathery, in some spots almost like suede.

Garrus at first leaned into her touch, but as her fingers dipped under the fringe again he pulled back suddenly, in shock; he then held his head while the room spun from the quick movement. “Spirits, Shepard, I think I’m going to be sick.”

“Sorry. I shouldn't have—”

“No, it's okay. I, uh,” he paused. His blue eyes caught hers from a sideways glance. “Well. I don't know if you learned it in all your anatomy studies, but those areas are...erogenous zones for turian males.”

Shepard swallowed the laugh building in her throat and felt her cheeks burn. She'd forgotten since she hadn't sketched in a while with serious fashion; looking up models on the extranet always reminded her because half of the models were connected to studies. “Sorry, Garrus. Didn't mean to be inappropriate.”

He turned, concerned. “I’m not mad, Shepard. I don’t feel violated, either. Just surprised me a little,” he admitted. Garrus leaned forward, bringing his face close to hers. “So I take it I mentioned some things last night, then.”

“I think we both did.”

“Like?”

“Like you having a thing for green eyes.”  
  
Garrus’s neck changed color, became darker. It was subtle, but Shepard caught it. “I...said that, huh?”  
  
“Yeah, and made fun of me for losing to you in cards, too.” With each word the color change grew more dramatic, and Shepard realized it was the turian equivalent of blushing, his neck flushing like it had last night when she'd confessed she wasn't sure she'd have been able to leave him with that bomb on Virmire. “Embarrassed, Garrus?”

“I, ah....” Garrus moved to stand across from where she was sitting so he could see her better. “I didn’t say anything offensive, did I?”

“No.”

“Thank the Spirits for that.”

Shepard couldn’t stop the rush when she asked him, “Did you really mean it when you said I was prettier than that turian female at the bar?”

His reaction was priceless. Garrus’s eyes widened, his mandibles slackened enough to reveal those sharp teeth, and she was actually able to hear the obvious embarrassed trill he was trying to suppress. “Yes.”

She smiled at his tentative response. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he coughed, unable to look at her for a moment. “I'm sorry if that makes you feel uncomfortable.”

“Garrus, it’s fine.”

Garrus titled his head, watching her and making her fight the urge to squirm in her spot. Finally, to her relief, he bent his knees, his long legs still covered in pants and his feet in civilian shoes. “So now what? Breakfast?”

She looked at him. “You’re sober, yes?”

“Getting there.”

“It's more like lunch now.” She was itching to help the still trashed Citadel, despite its round the clock emergency workers and keepers ironically cleaning up their Reaper creator's mess. “But I'm ready to get back helping around with debris.”

“Athena.” His use of her first name caught her attention. “I just want you to know that I’m not only going to do Spectre training for myself or the good of the galaxy. I meant it when I said I was going to do it to get back on the _Normandy_ or find a ship where we can work together. You’re much more fun than C-Sec, and like I said, I wouldn't mind...partnering with you.”

She smiled knowingly at the double-meaning. “I know, big guy. I’d...like that. Just the two of us.”

Garrus gave her a nervous grin before moving to stand again. If she hadn't spent so much time with him over the run for Saren, she would have missed the subtle anxiety and excitement in it the way his body flexed. “I’m going to clean up. After that, we’ll go eat. Find a restaurant that supports levo and dextro that you like while I’m busy.”

“Is that a date, Vakarian?” Her eyes held a twinkle to them. She felt more...assured today.

His neck coloring changed some again, even as he kept what appeared to be a cocky grin to accompany his smug tone. “With the most handsome turian on the Citadel.”  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO: WINDING DOWN**  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  


Shepard and Garrus decided to help a nearby ward with debris removal. They spent about three hours volunteering, which the local C-Sec agents were entirely grateful for; Shepard held her sense of command even as she organized some of the volunteers in the best fashion. Several C-Sec officers spoke to her in private, both congratulating her and asking her questions about what had happened. Garrus watched her answer all she could and constantly gesture to him that he had been there, that he was _the_ Garrus Vakarian who had helped save the Citadel.

That meant, of course, that the officers started bothering him, shocked that he had gotten out of their ranks and into such places.

Eventually they decided they were hungry and were allowed to leave after clearing quite a sizable area with the current group of volunteers. Shepard showed Garrus the location of a restaurant she had previously picked out on her omni-tool, and he took her there. As they sat at a table together, with people of different races watching them and recognizing who they were no doubt from news coverage, Garrus grew uncomfortable. “No offense, Shepard, but I’d like to be somewhere that gives us privacy. We’re kind of famous now.”

“I know, Garrus, but this place has the best food for both of us. It’s that or privacy.”

Garrus’s stomach grumbled loudly, answering her. Shepard laughed.

After they had ordered their food and it was brought out, each sat assessing the plate of the other.

“What is _that_?” Garrus asked as he looked at the meat-looking item drenched in some sort of sauce and a pile of white fluffy stuff next to it.

“It’s called Salisbury steak. These,” Shepard said, taking some of the white substance on her utensil, “are called mashed potatoes.”

He shuddered. “What is a Salzbureet?”

“Sal-is-bur-ee,” she pronounced for him. “It’s a...place, I believe. This is just meat prepared a certain way, named after the place or something. Okay, to be honest, I don’t know. But this is meat.”

“And the potato thing?”

“A way to make a popular vegetable,” she replied.

As she eyed his plate, she made similar reactions. She teased him. “Wait, so you think what I have is weird while you eat some blue slimy thing and a pile of...I don’t know what?”

Garrus chuckled, picking up the blue thing she referred to. It was impaled on a stick. “This is called _capikuus_. It’s prepared from an animal native to Palaven. I think it is supposed to be similar to your cow? Anyway, the ‘slime,’ as you called it, is a sauce, and this ‘pile’ of stuff is a type of vegetation that makes the sauce easier to digest.”

“So you have to have something else to eat to digest what you normally eat?”

“Nah,” he explained, “it’s because the sauce is very spicy and it can upset anybody’s stomach if they've not got a tolerance for it. Since I’ve been on the _Normandy_ for a long time, I’ve not had it. So I’m not taking any chances later.”

“Ah,” she said, flicking him a teasing grin. “Taste good at least?”

“Yes, it does. Makes me think of home.” He noticed how Shepard grew somber across from him. “Something the matter?”

“Have you considered going back, Garrus?”

Her tone had changed considerably. Garrus’s facial plates moved in a frown, and his mandibles dropped away from his face at a downward angle. “Maybe. Wouldn’t mind seeing Mom or Sol, but I avoid Dad if I can. They messaged me back this morning while we were helping. Glad I'm okay. Dad's pissed I was still in on the front line with a Spectre.”

“Are you ever going to be on better terms with each other?”

“Maybe now that I’m a hero. Never know, Shepard. He’s a stubborn turian,” Garrus said and flared his mandibles to open his jaw, grabbing a chunk of the _capikuus_ and tearing it with his teeth. Shepard watched him closely, her eyes following his movements and even his throat as he swallowed. “Enjoy the show?”

“You wish,” she joked, cutting more of her meat. “Your anatomy fascinates me in an artistic sense, but it’s visually intriguing, too.”

“My ‘anatomy,’ huh?”

Her head came up fast, her cheeks red. “Garrus,” she choked out, grabbing the drink in front of her to swallow down the bite she had almost suffocated on.

“Hey, now, Shepard. It’s okay to be fascinated, just don’t choke over it,” he quipped, reaching across to hit her shoulder a few times. “Made me choke, you know, when I saw some of those sketches. Wasn't expecting to see, _ah_ , that.”

Shepard burst out laughing so hard that everyone in the restaurant turned in their seats and stations to see her. Her red hair was flung back, green eyes closed tight, and mouth wide open as possible. Spirits, Garrus loved it. The sight made him so happy inside and out.

They finished the rest of their meal with more polite conversation.

Garrus asked if she had any idea what her next assignment would be. She said she wasn’t sure, but she thought it involved finding pockets of geth. It appeared the Citadel was publicly blaming the geth for everything, and with the Council making the synthetics out as boogeymen, it would boost morale for her to report more good news on that front. Garrus had shaken his head, frustrated for her, knowing her talents could go to much better use in other ways. She vented about how there were some lines getting blurred over Alliance and Council control of the _Normandy_ and Shepard’s services with _no one_ talking about how to prepare for the Reapers still out there as a threat. Anderson was in the middle, trying to balance it all the best he could with Shepard in the forefront of his decisions, and his involvement was, perhaps, was one of the only things Garrus thought as good news. It made him appreciate not only Anderson more but also Shepard’s insight in promoting him as a candidate for the first human Councilor, her move luckily pardoning the Captain for his treasonous offense in freeing their lock down.

Garrus held his hand up after they finished and paid; he refused to let Shepard take care of the meal, which made her smile at him.

Later they returned to his apartment and played more cards. Shepard wanted to teach him more styles, but she said some of them needed partners to play. After they had each won a round of Skyllian Five, she decided to teach him solitaire. Garrus observed over her shoulder as she laid the cards out and explained how the movements, draws, and systems worked. The only visible reaction Shepard showed in Garrus’s closeness to her was an increase in her heart rate.

When Garrus bent to inhale her scent above her fringe—hair—she lifted her head slightly, rubbing it against his chin. The sensation was as amazing as it had been when he touched it with his fingers that morning, but now he could feel more without the headache in his system.  
  
It had taken him a long time to make the connection, but Garrus had finally realized why she smelled familiar. He compared her scent to a type of flower found on Palaven that grew during certain periods when Menae, Palaven’s moon, was particularly bright at night: It was like soil, with a little bit of sweetness stronger than the flower itself had.

He barely stopped the disappointed sound when she pulled forward, then smiled above her head when she returned. Garrus wasn't even embarrassed that she may _have_ heard his little complaint, and he casually rested a hand on one of her arms while she scooted back closer toward him invitingly.

“All right. Now, turn the top card of each of these piles up. You want to alternate colors and in the end have a descending order of importance.” Garrus followed her movements as she flipped them all over, made decisions about moving two of the cards to other piles, and then flipped the ones behind the two she’d moved. Then she said she was going to draw from the deck and flipped three cards up, fingering the top one. “This first card is the one you have to use. You can’t choose underneath it right away.”

Garrus hovered over her as he watched, fascinated by her quick movements. But it became apparent that Shepard had gotten sucked into her game as she stopped dictating every move to him. His eyes followed each choice she made and of course studied the hands making them.

Shepard finished her game with a grin and an excited whoop. She showed Garrus how all the cards were in order and how she could pull each matching card of each suit out and get points. “And that’s how you do it. Some people play with drawing one card at a time instead of three. I always try to challenge myself.”

“I’ve noticed,” he teased, talons resting on her shoulders and dragging softly with nervous affection.

“Oh?”

Garrus nodded as she turned to look at him. He stood up, head cocked at an angle. “Well yeah. I mean that drop on Ilos was, um, a challenge. And I can’t count the number of husks and enemies I’ve shot that you’ve walked right up toward.”

“Shut up,” she said, earning him a light laugh and smile. “You think you’re funny, Vakarian.”  
  
“You know I am, Shepard. That’s why you always talked to me. Hell, it’s probably what started our friendship.”

She eyed him for a moment. “You know, you’re probably right, although when we first met you were so uptight.”

Garrus tried to make his eyes move in a way that she could see as similar to when she rolled hers. “I was a turian trapped in red tape and C-Sec. What did you expect?”

“Exactly. You’re a turian.”

“Hah, Shepard,” he retorted and sat down on the couch, one leg positioned at an angle over the other.

Eventually Shepard sighed, as she reshuffled the deck and packed it away in her bag.

“What is it?” he asked when she plopped down beside him.

“I have to return to the _Normandy_ and check on things. Then I have to meet with the Councilors again, then Anderson privately, and after that spend another day trying to locate supplies for the next trip out. The last day of my shore leave I have to spend reassembling my crew,” she explained. She chewed on her lower lip as she thought about it. “Guess I wanted some more time, you know?”

“Of course. I understand, Athena. It’s hard when you feel so much on your shoulders.” He leaned forward and slowly brushed his fingers against her soft cheek, reveling in the feel and excitement that she _wanted_ him to touch her like that with her soft sigh and lean into his movement. “Just remember you can send me messages bitching and venting, and I will always support you.”

“And that’s why you’re my best friend, Garrus.”

“Hey, just glad to be special enough. Not an honor C-Sec can strip of me whenever I cross a line.”

“Never.” Her green eyes focused on his blue ones. Her observant glance picked up the sadness in his expression. “What’s wrong, Garrus?”  
  
“Oh, I’m just going to...miss you.”

Her eyes softened on his. “I’m going to miss you, too, Garrus. A lot.”

“So message me.”

“As often as I’m able. So long as you keep replying, Vakarian.”

“Oh, I will,” he said without doubt. “You decide to go back to your quarters tonight?”

“I thought I might camp out here if you want. Will ping your omni-tool in a few days before I leave, though. You can meet me on the _Normandy_ at that time so everyone can tell you goodbye.”

He nodded, inwardly glad. “That's fine. I received messages from Liara and Tali already. Replied to those yesterday, before you arrived. Even got one from Williams, though I haven’t replied yet. Wasn’t sure what to say to it.”

“Why, was it negative?”

Garrus was touched at the protective tone her voice had taken; she must have well remembered the early days of Ash’s xenophobia against turians especially. “No, she simply thanked me for having her back when she didn’t trust me to do so. Turians are awkward with emotions. Hell, you know that now. So, I guess I’ll tell her thanks later.”

“I see.”

Garrus eyed her carefully. “Was the bed comfortable last night?”

“Very. I’m jealous.”

He smiled. “Then don’t hesitate to take it again tonight.”

She nodded. “Thanks.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t join you. You might like that.” Garrus teased while she turned red as her hair again. “You should get some rest now, Athena. Big days ahead.”

“Dismissing me, Officer Vakarian?”

“Tell me that’s not the last time I’ll ever hear that phrase come out of you,” he grinned.

She smiled for a moment, then stood up in front of him and opened her hand. Garrus took it, stood with her, and wrapped her up into a tight hug, nuzzling her face and cheek warmly before letting her go and watching her climb into his bed. Shepard wished him a very sleepy goodnight and promptly passed out, adorably smothered into his pillows.  
  
After several long minutes of listening to her slowed, peaceful heart rate, Garrus gently stroked her cheek with the back of a talon once, wishing he could just lie down beside her, needing to cool his aching, wanting heart.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE: HIS FIRST KISS**

  
  


  
  


The next few days were strange. After Shepard and he had unwillingly parted the next afternoon, Garrus found moments where he felt utterly alone and as if time would never end, and then he got swamped with other crap that completely sped up the clock. He sighed in bed, frustrated at being alone once more with Shepard’s scent in his sheets. Honestly, Garrus had _enjoyed_ her spending two nights in his bed. He held no frustration against her smell still lingering upon it; he just took deep breaths of it and wished she were around because it made him think of her.

Unable to rest, Garrus brought his arm up and played with his omni-tool until he found the holos they had taken. Shepard had come up with the idea of each of them having a holo on their omni-tools so that, in times like these, they could see each other, even if light years were between them in reality.

Garrus popped open the first holo, the one he had taken of her. It showed her playing cards in front of him.

_He made a joke off screen and caught her laughing, her smile wide under that straight nose. Garrus heard himself make the surprised comment that even her little marks appeared in the holo._

_“Freckles, Garrus. They’re freckles.”_

_“Well, whatever they are, they’re visible. Cool, huh?” He heard himself cough lightly, clearing his throat. “Well, since this is recording, why don’t you say something memorable, Shepard? Something I’ll always want to hear again.”_

_“Okay.” She appeared to be thinking deeply, hand under her chin. Then her eyes lit up, even in the holo. With the straight-laced Commander Shepard face, she said, “I’m Commander Shepard, and I say that Garrus Vakarian is the most stylish turian alive. I mean have you seen that visor?”_

_“Ooh, Shepard, you talk like that and this will turn into a vid of something else.”_

_She laughed at him, her hand waving him away._

_“But seriously,” he pleaded off screen._

_“Fine.” She composed herself and looked directly at the screen. “No matter where I am or what I’m doing, I know that you’ll always be in my mind somewhere. I’m going to miss you, Garrus. I’m glad I got to know you.”_

_“Thanks, Athena,” he murmured off to the side before the holo cut out._

Garrus sighed and played the next one, the version of him she had recorded on her omni-tool and sent him.

_He was sitting on the couch, with visor and civvies, watching her._

_“Am I supposed to say something specific here, Shepard?”_

_“Nah. Whatever you want, big guy.”_  
  
_“Big guy, huh. You’ve always called me that. I guess compared to your puny humans, I am...big.”_

_Shepard’s laugh echoed over the screen and the holo shook momentarily as she tried to quell it. Garrus watched the holo version of himself as it smiled, mandibles lifting in a grin._

_“So full of yourself, Vakarian. I just mean you're tall.”_

_“Well, to be fair, you haven’t exactly been damaging me much.” The holo version of him cocked his head, the flirtatious movements of his brow plates obvious ._

_“I’ll have to keep a check on that if we work together again. Can’t let your fringe get too big.” Her voice sounded intrigued but teasing at the same time. “Say one more thing, Garrus.”_

_“What’s that?”_

_“Tell me....” She moved, her eyes glancing up toward his. “Tell me your favorite memory of the time on the_ Normandy _.”_

_The holo Garrus angled his head to look down at her. “There’s a surprising amount of favorite times, but I’ll pick: I’d say after Virmire, when I thought I’d actually been able to give back in this friendship and support you, but that time before Ilos, just us talking...I think about that a lot. So yeah. The Ilos run. Still can’t believe how skilled you are at sketching turians.”_

_She smiled up at him._

He lay back down against the bed on his side, attempting to get to sleep. The sooner he could, the sooner he’d see her tomorrow.

  
  


\-------------------------

  
  


Garrus awoke late in the morning to his omni-tool beeping at him. He hadn’t been able to get to sleep for quite some time. He had tried, but his mind was too full of things to do, things in the future. Garrus cracked one blue eye open to glance at the message that had greeted him.

_Garrus,_

_Leaving in one hour. Meet me by the docking bay in 30._

That got him up.

Garrus took the fastest shower of his life and barely made it to C-Sec so he could access the docking elevator. As he rode it up, he couldn’t stop moving. Days without her presence had sucked when he was so used to it. Maybe it was because she was still docked and he knew it deep down. Perhaps, in a weird way, it would help when she wasn't physically near for him to want to be next to constantly.

As the elevator opened by the docking, he found Anderson speaking with Shepard outside of the connection to the Normandy’s airlock. He coughed into his hand, alerting them to his presence. Garrus saw Shepard whirl around, her green eyes bright.

“Councilor Anderson,” Garrus said with a nod.

Anderson nodded back at him. “Just Anderson to you, Garrus.”

“We good, Anderson?” Shepard asked, eyes back on the human Councilor. Garrus caught an exchange happen through their eyes; unsure of the meaning, he remained quiet.

“Yes, Shepard. It’ll be taken care of with no worries on your part.” Anderson smiled briefly at her and clasped a hand on Garrus’s shoulder. “Boost her morale, Garrus.”

Garrus flushed at the accidental sexual innuendo. “Yes, sir.”

They waited until they saw the elevator disappear before she pulled him into a hug. “Damn. It’s funny, I stay in your apartment for two evenings, and now it’s like I can’t sleep without knowing you’re nearby. I suppose that’s always how it was though. You were down in cargo somewhere or in the mess, always.”

“Sweet of you, Commander.” He squeezed her back.

“Oh, shut up. C’mon.”

After going through decontamination, they entered the cockpit. Garrus waved at Joker, who congratulated him on pulling the stick out of his ass and beating Saren with it. Shepard led him through the CIC, where he paused to speak briefly with XO Pressley; Garrus was shocked when the once rather vocally xenophobic man held out his hand to shake. Shepard nudged Garrus, and he shook Pressley’s hand sternly, leaving the strangely pleasant encounter to linger in the medbay, saying farewell to a busy Liara and staying to talk with Chakwas directly.

“Hey, Shepard, give me a moment.”

“Huh? Oh...okay....” She looked at him quizzically, but left the medbay as he desired.

Chakwas looked at him. “Yes, Garrus?”

“Doc, listen. I need you to...do whatever you have to do. Keep her safe, okay? If she gets wounded, make her get treatment. Don’t let her push herself too hard. I want to see her again without wounds,” Garrus said, his arms crossed.

“I’ll do my best, Garrus,” the human doctor said with a smile. “We both know how stubborn she is.”  
  
“Yes. Too well. But...Doctor, she, uh.” He coughed nervously. “I don’t like the idea that I won’t be around to keep an eye on her. With her always looking out for everyone else, she needs someone to watch her, too.”

Chakwas smiled knowingly. “I will, Garrus.”

“Thanks, Doctor.”

“She’s lucky to have a friend like you.”

He understood her words and nodded, saying farewell before leaving the medbay. Shepard was standing by the elevator, a brow raised at him. “What?”

“Something I should know?”

“Nope. But if you get wounded, you comply with her, okay?”

Shepard rolled her eyes. “I’ll try.”

“I mean it, Shepard.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Garrus took a few more minutes to say goodbye to the human requisitions officer he had gotten to know in the cargo hold. He said brief farewells to the engineers, particularly Adams, and Tali, and then came back over to Williams’ station where she stood, arms crossed. As he and Shepard approached, she stood straight and saluted.

“At ease, Williams,” Shepard said with a smile.

Garrus stepped up to her. “Listen, Ashley. I wanted you to know I got your message. I wasn’t sure what to say then, but...I’m glad you see the things you do now. Thanks for that.”

She nodded, her brown eyes wide on him. “You’ve proven yourself very well, Vakarian.”

“And you, too, Williams.”

Garrus waved when she did. Shepard followed him into the elevator, and they rode up to her quarters. The door shut behind him as he stepped inside, eyes on her back.

He sighed, uneasy. He hated goodbyes and always had, but this one felt...wrong. Not good. His instincts were edgy, and he wanted to kidnap her, take her far away and likely do terrible, unapproved-by-society things to her.

Garrus realized she had probably been watching him battle those thoughts. He shook his head briefly. “Listen, Shepard,” he began.

“Hang on, Garrus. I have something for you.” Shepard turned her back on him to walk by her console; Garrus watched her bend down and retrieve a pad from a bag on the floor. She opened it, carefully tore out a page, and handed it to him.

Garrus stared down at the drawing, his breath catching in his chest. “Shepard.”

She hadn’t drawn a turian. She had drawn herself.

“I was bored last night.”

“Bored? This is fantastic. Imagine what you could do when you’re very engaged in something,” he teased, eyeing the sketch. “Seriously, though. It’s damn impressive.”

“I want you to have it,” she said.

Garrus eyed her. “Really? Why?”

She smiled. “Since I have one of you and others of the crew. My way of staying around with you, I guess. And I wanted to prove to you that I could draw more than just turians.”

At first Garrus didn’t know what to say, but he carefully folded the sketch and tucked it into a pocket in his civvies. “Thanks, Athena. I won’t lose it.”

“Ten minutes until departure, Commander,” Joker’s voice came over the ship’s audio in her room.

She sighed. “Thanks, Joker.”

“So if we don’t want a turian guest, you know....”

“Got it, Joker.”

Garrus laughed. “He’s going to miss me, that cripple.”

“Probably. You’re the brunt of many of his jokes.”

Garrus surprised himself by moving forward and hugging her tightly to his chest, his arms’ hold betraying the deep emotions swelling within him.

_She was really leaving without him. And it felt wrong._

“I wish I could go. Spirits, it’s all I want to do right now. My place is here, on your six. It feels like a better fit than C-Sec ever did for me. I should be with you.”

“I know,” she murmured into his shirt. “But we need you spreading the word about the Reapers and getting others ready—gaining that Spectre status. I’m counting on you, Vakarian.”

“Of course, Commander,” Garrus said. He held her another half a minute before his hearing picked up a strange, muffled noise and he smelled the salt on the air. He pushed her away a little, so he could look at her, and his heart ached. She was crying again, just like she had after Virmire. “Athena,” he whispered, bringing his face close to hers. “It’s going to be okay. Just stay safe. Promise me. Next shore leave you get, I’ll buy drinks and let you beat me honestly at Skyllian Five.”

“I will do my best, Garrus. Thanks.”

“Okay.”

Garrus debated a moment before lowering his face. He rubbed his mandibles into her cheek like he had after Virmire. Though done with family and mates as he'd said, it mostly happened with mates, with the addition of touching the other's mandibles, which Shepard lacked as a human. He pulled her to him, his hands gripping tighter on her body and pressuring them together as the feeling of sharing this moment with her rocked through him.

To his surprise she pushed back a little against him, nuzzling like a mate, her eyes shut tight for a moment.  
  
His heart thudded. His spirit soared.

Then, as if time slowed like it had during the _Normandy_ ’s lock down, they stared closely at one another.

Shepard carefully rose up like before and, with eyes open, this time pressed her lips to his cheek plating...just like Kaidan had done to her before he died. Garrus’s heartbeat echoed so loud in his hearing that he could barely hear hers; he felt so anxiously happy at that moment. Gently, he touched her shoulder and rubbed again into the side of her face with his mandible. Shepard’s right hand came up to his chin, her fingers teasing along his skin underneath.

She lifted his chin a little, closed her eyes, and this time pressed her lips over his mouth.

Garrus, though not understanding exactly what she was doing, could tell by her scent that it was something emotional and sexual; he gently pressed back against her lips, pursing his mouth a little, his eyelids heavy, before she tilted her head back down, her eyes clenched shut.

Garrus wanted more and didn't want to let her back away, didn't want to let her be afraid she'd gone too far. So he did something surprising to both of them: He lowered his face and mimicked her move, letting his mouth push against her lips.

Shepard sighed and did it back to him, her lips opening enough that he felt the slight wetness from them. One large hand slid up to cup her head, holding her there close as they kept touching in this new, amazing way, while the other stroked down the middle of her back. Shepard actually moaned at his hold of her and grabbed his mandibles as she held his face in return, pressuring their mouths together in a sensual mixture of human and turian displays of affection; the sound of her voice shot through him like a bullet, zinging along his nerves with what felt like cold fire until he felt a very male part of him damn near slip out of the pelvic plating.

Garrus couldn't believe how good this felt, how strange but addictive it was, and he wanted more of it. The desperation was there in their grasping fingers, in the pressure between their mouths. When he felt her withdraw at a reminder ping on her omni-tool and start to shake, Garrus rubbed his mandible tightly into her, his hands gripping against her. He wanted to taste her again, take her away and show her exactly what that little touch of her lips had just done to his body. Her leaving now was going to be brutal on his hormones, not just his heart.

Upon smelling her tears again, the ache in his chest doubled, as he begged, “Please don’t be sad. It makes me sad.”

She nodded against him, still crying softly but seeming better once he rubbed a mandible once more against her cheek. She sighed. “Garrus, I’m still going to be this way for a few minutes after you leave. It’s fine. Once I start I have to give myself like five minutes before I can clamp it down.”

“As long as you’re okay.”

“Five minutes, Commander,” Joker’s disembodied voice echoed.

Garrus growled at him. “Damn him. Might break his foot on the way out.”

“Now, now, don’t do that.”

“Oh, fine. Not like he actually uses his feet to fly this thing, though.” Knowing he had to say goodbye, Garrus felt her hug him tightly before pulling back. He stared at her. “I....”  
  
She smiled.

“I’m going to fucking miss you,” he said. And he meant it.

“Same here, big guy.”

“Say it.”

“I’m going to miss you, Garrus. All the damn time.”

“Good. As long as I’m not the only one.”

They smiled at each other as he stepped backward, hearing the door open behind him. “See you soon, okay, Garrus?”

“Yeah. Thanks for everything, Athena. Come back _soon_. I want to get really drunk and say all kinds of stupid things and uh...do whatever the hell that was again....” He was being honest and figured maybe she would understand a little.

Shepard raised her brows, smiling. “Oh. That can be...arranged, big guy.”

Garrus left the quarters, happy to hear her laugh a little behind him.  
  
  


* * *

**CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR: CORRESPONDING ENDS**

  
  


  
  


Not an hour later, Garrus was back in his apartment, going through messages. He found a new one from her, sent precisely after he had stepped from the _Normandy_.

_Garrus,_

_I already fucking miss you. Damn it, turian. When I have to come back for supplies, I’m going to force you to make it up by visiting again. I think the entire crew—well, the old crew that’s left—misses you, too. And I’m really curious as to what drunken lines you’ll spout next time. Green eyes. As for...what happened, yeah. A repeat sounds great. ;)_

_-A._

Garrus grinned and replied immediately, telling her he missed her as well and was happy that she’d thought to send him this. He made sure to go through and save all of her messages; he even set his omni-tool to forward her messages directly to a special folder so he would know and have it all there.

And, for the next two months, there were a good number of messages, considering the busy schedules each had acquired. Some were ones he highlighted to review over and over:  
  
  


_Garrus,_

_So far there’s been a surprising number of geth pockets out in the Traverse. It’s going to keep us busy for a while. Took a slug from a geth rifle to the shoulder yesterday. Chakwas damn near tied me to the bed; she claimed she had higher orders to follow to keep me in top shape._

_I’m betting it was you, you sneaky turian. Miss your handsome mug and jokes. Always were good distractions during healing downtime. Wish we could play cards right now and make fun of Wrex or something. Remind me why sending you back to get into Spectre training was a good idea instead of just hiding you here or saying I required you somehow?_

_-Athena._

\-------------------------

_A.,_

_It’s been five days since your last message. I hope this doesn't sound clingy, but with the kind of crap you get into, I think being concerned is okay. Hopefully Joker’s still piloting that thing and hasn’t screwed up his aim with a mass relay yet. I know I joke, but you know. He’s too good, isn’t he?_

_Chakwas messaged me recently that you nearly broke your leg kicking a geth ghost to synthetic death. Seriously, you need me back on your six to remind you that that is not a good idea when you don’t have a krogan’s bone structure. Spirits, woman, you scare me sometimes._

_I’ve been checking in with Anderson lately. Probably driving him nuts, having me present when he’s a Councilor now, but he gives me updates on your location so long as I don’t spread it around. Good to know you’re getting close by. Tell Ash that the betting pool for the game is credits only and let Joker know Fornax issues won’t count._

_I miss you. By the way, I looked up what you did to me the day you left—you kissed me, right? Did I kiss you correctly? It's just, you know, not a turian thing...so...Spirits, I sound stupid, but I just want to know. I want to, you know. Want to make you comfortable. And I liked it, so. I'm just gonna stop right here before I do more damage._

_-G._

\-------------------------

_Garrus,_

_Just took out a rather fussy pocket of Geth. Was nasty; there were two Colossi together and those ghost things everywhere. Williams and Jenson really came in handy for that. Did I mention Jenson? He’s new to the Normandy, another biotic, but he has a better implant version than Kaidan had. Just some kid, practically, but he’s got a fire in him. Seems angry. Sounds like someone I used to know, huh?_

_I got out okay. Took some minor burn damage, and Chakwas once again had me nearly tied to a damn bed in the medbay. I blame you. She finally admitted that you asked her to do whatever she had to do to keep me in top shape. Sweet of you, G. And don't worry, Liara and Tali are keeping me company before we lose them both from the ship._

_Joker’s plotting a course for the next site we’ve heard rumors about. Will get another message off ASAP._

_Miss you, too. Sometimes, when I can’t sleep (like always), I sit in the mess and watch the holos we took. And yes, that was a kiss. Still can’t believe I did it, but what the hell. Pretty mug. The fact that_ you _kissed me is what I can’t believe more, but think about all the time. ALL the time. Garrus...you were my first real turian kiss, and I'm really glad I waited for it to be you because it made it all the more special. And yes, you did it correctly, big guy. You're kind of a natural, strangely enough, at least at this type. Glad you liked it—I was a bit worried at first; expect more if you were being serious about wanting them...._

_-Athena._

\-------------------------

_A.,_

_Two together and with you guys on foot? I’m hoping the Mako was involved. Tell me it was. Still, I’m glad you got out safely. You’ve always been so capable, Shepard. It never ceases to impress me, and I still look up to you in that regard, like a youngling._

_Jenson sounds interesting. Just don’t, you know, joke with him too much. Might replace me. Do me a favor and never tell him he’s handsome._

_I look at the holos every night, too. Still cracks me up that your freckles show up in it. They're cute._

_Oh, one last thing. I’m waiting to get approved for Spectre training, so I’ve resumed my old position at C-Sec until that gets through. If it gets through. I’m thinking it will, though Dad was fucking pissed. Says it’s your bad influence. Don't worry, it only made me laugh. I mean, if he only knew, huh. But Mom approves, so now they’re fussing some at each other, like always._

_Stay safe, A. I miss you. If I have to be honest about it, I’m going a little crazy here, being so far away from you and the_ Normandy _; I’m around so much red tape I could probably strangle a varren with it. It’ll be great whenever you’re back. I’ll get to harass Joker and win some credits. Maybe even get drawn again—you did say that you’d never had a model for those_ other _sketches. I might,_ might _, consider doing that for you...so long as I get another one of those kiss things (yes, I really want more). There are different kinds, right? You could...teach me and tell me exactly what they mean. ;)_

_-G._

\-------------------------

_Garrus,_

_Something isn’t right out here. Everyone can feel it. We’re supposed to be hunting for pockets of geth, but something much bigger is going on and I can feel it. I’m worried, Garrus. I’m worried about my team, these colonists reporting an odd ship, and I'm especially worried about you. Keep working hard. We’ve got to be ready._

_I will try to get in touch again soon. Not expecting to dock at the Citadel for another three weeks of delay, unfortunately, but at least it’s somewhat in sight. I’m excited to play cards again. I haven’t had the time lately, even when traveling. Just been busy with reports and whatnot._

_Anyways, before I sign off, I know this will sound strange but...like I said. My gut’s telling me all these bad things, like yours had about Saren. If anything happens, Garrus let everyone know._

_There are a few things I feel I need to write to you. It’s been eating at me for a long time now, and with this strange feeling in my gut, I’m afraid. You’re my best friend, Garrus, and you always will be so long as you desire. I don’t trust anyone else to the same degree. I admit I was angry after Virmire when you had stayed and watched me break down, but without your help I think I might have lost a part of myself trying to just keep calm. I, too, had lots of favorite memories of you on the_ Normandy _. I honestly don’t know if I could pick. And I just want you to know, in all seriousness, that you really are the most handsome bastard. I mean it._

_Stay safe, Garrus. I miss you all the time. No one could ever mean more to me than you do. If I make it back soon for shore leave, we’ll have drinks and maybe, if I’m drunk enough, I’ll be bold enough to sketch you in that fashion. Seems we’re both a little...you know...about the idea. I think a kiss is...more than acceptable, and if you really want to...try...we can attempt some of the others. I just hope they don't freak you out. If I'm gonna be completely honest here, I've been craving doing it to you again. About what it means, well...I think there’s something we should talk about, big guy, in person and not in messages or vids. It’s been a long time coming, and I can only hope we want the same things. I can’t wait, Garrus. :)_

_-Athena_

  
  


It was the last message she ever sent him.

* * *


End file.
